WHEN ALL IS LAID BARE

Kyo looked at the images as Misato brought them up on her holographic desk he very rarely got to see inside her office which over looked the Evangelion bay. Being here now it was everything he imagined it to be neat tidy and all in order everything her home apparently wasn't or so he'd heard countless times from Asuka. "You want me to capture these people in a sting operation?"

Misato looked at him as she put her feet on the table adjusting her black trousers. "Yes." Kyo eased up his finger pointing to a certain image. "So you know that ones going to cause huge problems, right off the bat don't you?" Misato eyed Makoto's image as she drank her iced coffee. "Yeah…I just don't care." Kyo eyed her. "Is that all?" Misato eased her legs of the table bringing up a bunch of photos which were from Asuka's recent photo shoot as she was picking a new one for her central banner. "Which one of these photos would be good for Asuka?"

Kyo blinked in confusion. "I'm just her personal trainer I don't think my opinion on this is relevant Major." Misato eyed him putting down her coffee as she brought up an old video which was from three months after Shamshel of him giving Asuka a warm hug despite that she looked very sad. "I think we both know that's not true, you appear to have taken quite a liking too her, in fact in all of your records you speak highly of her. I wasn't even aware of this until I started digging around and there's one phrase you use a lot to describe her which is your little ball of red fire, it's very cute and very fitting really."

Kyo eyed her in annoyance. "Is there a point to this Major? Because I know you don't like Asuka and you've never sided with her…too difficult for your taste I suspect." Misato eyed him he wasn't wrong regarding her past behaviour. "I've made mistakes yes." Kyo eyed her. "Pity one of them was not listening to me when I reported that my younger brother had beaten her up back when she was eighteen for no other reason than being bisexual."

He put his hands behind his back. "To quote your words 'Asuka is a pain she starts fights Yuki just probably hit a raw nerve and she lashed out, violence is just part of her nature'." Misato eyed him this guy had a real sharp memory. "Your younger brother Yuki won't be rejoining us once he's healed he's going to be fired." Kyo breathed in deeply. "Shame that didn't happen directly after Shamshel and it took the beating of two other pilots before you took Asuka seriously."

Misato flipped the video off screen bringing up the recent one of Asuka fighting Yuki she paused the moment where Asuka was grabbing the lightning rod for a painful moment. "I always wondered why she wouldn't train with Yuki even though I ordered her to she just ignored me and instead she started coming to you." She tapped the screen. "You taught her how to take pain like that, that is so impressive."

Kyo eyed the video. "No I taught her how to channel her anger because it was very misdirected even she admitted that it was a problem to me and that it was ruling her and that it had ruined her relationship with Shinji. She just didn't want your therapy at the time because she didn't see it working until she had channelled her anger because it clouded how she felt and thought."

He breathed in deeply. "I taught her to mould it and how to take control of it and I did it through teaching her honour, respect, I didn't teach her compassion or love though that was already there its just the anger was really clouding it."

Misato moved the video forward pausing the moment where Asuka was crossing over the two lighting rods silver going over the top of gold. "Why do you like her so much?" Kyo looked at the paused video for a long moment before speaking. "As you probably know I was there with your selfish, controlling idiot of a father when second impact hit us out in Antarctica." He raised his hand. "His delaying in the name of fucking science killed my wife and daughter."

He looked straight in to her eyes. "Also second impact had one other side effect for some people they call it the Spite of Adam." Misato breathed in deeply. "Yes it took away a huge number of men's and women's ability to have children all over the world in one go. They believe it was caused by the red energy wave as it dissipated but the records show that the wave was not nuclear based."

Kyo felt a cold smile form. "You were not affected, as you were put in a special capsule which blocked the energy waves effects, I wasn't I only escaped the outer blast by hiding behind a special blast wall miles away and now I can never have children. Oh believe me it doesn't affect my sexual drive but let's just say my sperm count is beyond pathetic and the best doctors here at Nerv can't cure me despite trying for years to fix it."

He folded his arms. "My daughter was a bit of a hot head she died instantly in the blast and she was a year younger than you were at the time." He looked up. "I knew Asuka as a younger teen and she used to call me pathetic and a loser but I never took it personally she was just a kid growing up and kids can be very mean but after Shamshel I saw that she was going through a massive transition but what really pissed me off was other than Maya none of you even looked twice in her direction. She was really suffering she had woken up and realized she had acted badly and had done terrible things yet she was so alone."

He eyed Asuka image on the screen. "I acted as a moral guide and I also deeply respect Maya and how she guided her too and over time I started to see her as a daughter though I've never told her this as I know she struggles with father figures but I at least want to be a positive one in her life if nothing else."

He took in a deep breath letting it out slowly. "Kaji later started to see what I saw and the rest is really history and I am very proud of her and how far she has come and seeing her finally in a stable relationship is so nice to see and I'm even more thrilled to hear that Mari is actually her step sister because I see some real similarities between them."

Misato looked up. "I imagine this must have caused tension with Yuki." Kyo looked down slightly. "Yes it did but Yuki has always had issues he didn't like that our father came out as transgender, he forever blamed my mother for it saying it was her fault when it wasn't. Granted my parents divorced but they remained very good friends even to this day and they both remarried and we always have family get togethers in the end Yuki's hated just consumed him and I did warn him not to push Asuka but he didn't listen and I thought her breaking his nose before this would be enough to get the message across." Misato blinked in surprise. "She broke his nose why?"

Kyo raised an eyebrow. "He was speaking with regard to Ayanami and making very crude disgraceful comments about her, Asuka kicked him in the face and bust up his nose, this was before they got together but Ayanami didn't seem to mind in fact word has it she was flattered that Asuka defended her honour because she is so used to it being Shinji who fights for her." He felt a slight smile form. "So yes my relationship with Asuka goes beyond trainer."

Misato flipped away the video looking at the photos. "So which image do you feel would look best in the visitor centre?" Kyo pointed to the middle one. "The wide grin with the patch gives her a feeling of strength." Misato looked at him. "Yeah that's what I was thinking of using it's very Asuka" She looked up. "Once we've caught these traitors I will be promoting you to head of the special ops division in your brother's place. It means more pay, better hours and you can pick your best students to teach hand to hand and weapons though I know you have some in place already though you may want to choose different."

She raised her hand. "There's also one other small condition." Kyo eyed her. "Which is?" Misato looked up. "You report to me not Ritsuko, to her you only report on paper." Kyo narrowed his gaze. "I'm sorry but I'm also going to throw in a condition and if you refuse it then I will refuse your job." Misato eyed him. "Which is?" Kyo breathed in leaning forward. "Treat Asuka better."

He pulled back. "That's my only condition." Misato breathed in deeply. "I'm currently in the process of doing that." Kyo eyed her. "Speaking frankly I don't believe you but I guess we'll see how this pans out in the future."

He folded his arms knowing that he was about to expose one of Asuka's secrets but it was necessary. "She's is a good person and she personally goes out of her way to clean Yui, Kiko and her mothers monuments every six months and at Christmas. She even tricks the garden staff into decorating them and every year of there memorial she lays flowers on every grave but always two on Yui's and wishes the Göttliche Göttin a good year and asks that her wishes be fulfilled and if not she'll try and fulfill them even if she doesn't notice."

He looked up slightly. "Sadly my German isn't that good and I don't understand the association but maybe you might as you spend more time with her. All I know is it has to be another person who she cares about but she's using the German to hide her true feelings, still it's food for thought and I leave it with you." He moved towards the door. "Good night Major."

Misato watched him go she took in a deep breath moving the central image to her e-mail sending it off to the media centre. She always knew this conversation was going to hard Kyo respected her as his superior but it was clear he personally didn't like her because he had a soft spot for Asuka. She looked up taking the last thing he'd said which was that Asuka was cleaning all three of the monuments?

Granted everyone knew that someone had been cleaning them for the past fours years but who was not known. As that part of the Delphi garden had no camera's which was out of respect for the founders as they were as much graves as monuments. Gendo hated the monuments and never visited and he had never cared for it them being cleaned and had ordered the staff to leave them alone. So it had been a surprise for the staff to one day come in that garden section years ago to find all the statues scrubbed clean and cleaned of all their vines.

The staff had no idea who had been doing it but they let it carry on as they wanted those statues cleaned and they also knew the Christmas decorating was not his doing either and that the document was probably a fake but they decorated them regardless. She looked up slightly wait a second Göttliche Göttin meant divine goddess in German?

So that had to be a reference to Rei as she was clearly laying flowers and praying for the other woman's good fortune. Why was she keeping this to herself though was she ashamed or just scared of everyone finding out? No she was hiding this because she didn't see it as her being good and more something she should do because it was right.

Because that was her behaviour she hid and masked the good things she did constantly and denied herself any credit and she'd been doing it for so long now that it was just ingrained and difficult to shift and Maya had heard her say to Kaworu once more that her unit had not changed and that it was just surface change when it wasn't.

Maya had now crunched the numbers and had told her that the unit was much stronger physically than before and that it had a massive bite force not to mention that the jaws could pull so wide that they could go to almost a hundred and eighty degrees at full stretch and it was believed the upper sabres where there to impale making it difficult for anything to get out of her jaws once she'd locked on.

She had to force Asuka out of this mind set as it was her own fault it was there in the first place tonight was going to be hard she knew that already as she was going to Asuka's house but she already had the feeling that it might be a very cagey reception. She already knew Rei would be there but it still didn't mean that Asuka wouldn't get angry once she confronted her over Yuki and asked for her side of the story and brought up this thing with the monuments. Because she would do what she tended to do due to self esteem issues and assume she was in trouble because that was always how it had been.

Granted she'd been a better mood recently but that didn't mean she would revert if she thought she was to blame for something and knew full well just because they'd had some form of understanding over her bike accident and that she stood up for her in the live interview it did not fix everything or make it better. Asuka took a long time to trust people and even more so if she'd been burnt by them in the past.

She breathed in bringing up the relationship images of Rei and Asuka which if anything were adorable mostly because they were very loving and Asuka was very much showing off her protective side, granted Shinji and Kaworu would also need these doing she'd have to give them their cards tomorrow as it would be nice to have the two sets together in the updated photo book she breathed in deeply as she closed down the images knowing she couldn't delay any longer she needed to go to Asuka's house right now.

8

Asuka leaned back on her sofa as she finished her sketch she eyed Rei who was putting clothes in the laundry she had shifted up a section in her wardrobe so the other woman would have space for her clothing. She breathed in inwardly maybe she should just stop hesitating and just ask her to move in she was practically living here anyway and she'd said she wasn't happy where she was though she felt there was a deeper reason for this beyond boredom but she wanted Rei to tell her when she was ready.

She had way more room here for shelves so Rei could have her book shelves and she could have an area built in the back garden so she could have her pottery wheel there and she could just resection the bedroom and computer room so she could have her own computer in there. She could even put the sliding Japanese doors back in places if it made her feel more at home it wasn't like she was used to the wooden ones. "Rei you really don't have to do my laundry right this second."

Rei gave her a slight smile. "Yes but if I don't do it, you'll get distracted like you did last night and forget about it." Asuka felt a coy smile form. "So you're saying that you distracted me last night, because if I remember right you started it?" She eased herself off the sofa moving forward casually. "Though it was one of the nicest distractions I've ever had." She stopped in front of her giving her a wide toothy grin. "Maybe I should distract you all of tonight." She eased up her fingers running them very gently down the front of the other woman's top stopping at her jeans speaking in a soft low voice. "Maybe you'd like to tell me to what you desire tonight."

Rei watched as the other woman's left eye started to get brighter she eased her hand up going in the opposite direction up Asuka's t-shirt to her collar. "Ah but you still haven't answered my question from last night about your desires so maybe you can fill me in on that first." She paused speaking low and seductively. "I'm sure your book's folded page barely cover's what you want." She paused getting closer. "I mean you've had a life time to think about it so why don't we start with school."

Asuka felt herself shuffle nervously. "How's about we skip school." Rei looked up moving her hand back down slowly taking hold of her leather belt. "How's about we not skip school and you tell me what you were going to say to me that day when you tried to come on to me." Asuka eyed her taking hold of the hand that had her jeans belt. "That's not a fantasy worth talking about its crude and disgusting."

Rei eyed her. "Let me be the judge of that." Asuka breathed in she was not going to get out of this, she knew perfectly well Rei wouldn't let this go now. "I wanted you to have me in Misato's favourite recliner and it's not something I'm proud of because in my warped little selfish mind I wouldn't have given anything in return it was a one way fantasy." Rei looked at for a long moment. "Really you wanted to have me in Misato's chair?"

Asuka eyed her feeling the confusion take over. "Yes but look I get its stupid okay and I was sixteen at the time and a selfish brat." Rei felt a smile form. "Oh I don't think it's stupid at all." She paused eyeing her recliner. "How far back does your recliner go?" Asuka looked back. "It doesn't lay completely flat but it's still comfortable." Rei smiled pushing gently against her walking her backwards ignoring her surprise. Asuka was pushed down into her recliner chair as Rei hand found the controls as she started to move back into a half way position as she crawled on top of her speaking softly. "In your fantasy was I on top or was it you?" Asuka felt her eyes dart as she spoke meekly. "You were on top."

Rei watched as the blush spread across Asuka's cheeks. "Where and how was I touching you?" Asuka looked at her for a long moment. "I kind of never got that far in my head." Rei looked at her. "That's fine put your hands where you want me to touch you." Asuka looked at her slowly moving both of her hands under her t-shirt as she spoke in a silky voice. "Please kiss me." Rei smiled as she started to move her hands as she learned forward kissing the other woman slowly and passionately feeling her return it with just as much passion but as always it was deep, loving and wanting. She felt Asuka's hands move towards her she moved her own up stopping them as she pushed them down gently speaking through her kisses. "It's your fantasy remember, not mine."

Asuka felt Rei move her hands back in to place to her waist as she started kissing her again she could feel that welcome desire as it started to burn all over again as her breathing got faster. Last night she'd just stared at this woman after making love to her because to her it was so unreal and now suddenly once more she was being pleasured by her and it was utter heaven. Rei felt a smile form as she ran her hand through the long red hair who knew this mane of fire could be so wonderful to the touch she pressed her body further into Asuka's watching as her left eye ignited and her teeth started to grow.

She carried on touching her as she began to ease her t-shirt up fully watching her hands grab the chair arms, it pained her that Asuka had been denied genuine love for so long. She leaned forward kissing her again only for her attention to be diverted as someone's car head lights shone through the front window as a massive screech was heard near the door. Asuka looked up sharply as her good mood completely faded as she felt Rei move of her as she pushed the recliner back in to its normal position. "You've got to be verfickte kidding?!"

She didn't think as she half ran to the blinds pressing the button closing them as she moved against the side wall raising her hands. "Don't open the door…we are not in." The banging was heard followed by Misato's voice hitting the air. "Hey Asuka I know your inside so let me in!" Rei looked at her as she adjusted her clothes. "You should let her in."

Asuka eyed her feeling her teeth start to go back to normal though her eye remained the same. "I'm not letting her in!" Rei breathed in deeply. "She'll just keep knocking." Asuka looked at her as she adjusted her clothing feeling her left eye return to normal. "She can knock all night for all I care!" Rei moved towards her. "You can't avoid her forever Asuka." Asuka folded her arms. "You know I avoided her fine for three years solid and I was doing perfectly okay up until recently and I was happy that she wasn't part of my social life!"

Rei looked at her as the door banged again. "Come on Asuka its going to be fine I'm here, I won't let her shout at you or put you down, I promise you." Misato's voice suddenly came again. "Hey Asuka I have Pen Pen here, he really wants to say hello." Asuka rolled her eyes great, just great she moved over to the door pressing it hearing the metal blind go up on the other side as she unlocked it.

She opened it watching as Misato's smiling face came in to view she was holding Pen Pen whose arms suddenly flapped as he squawked. Misato put him down looking up. "Look it's Asuka you haven't seen her in a very long time." She watched as he ran up grabbing Asuka's leg before she could even move clinging on as he chirped happily.

Asuka watched as Erika looked down from her cat tree but didn't move. She took in a deep breath slowly kneeling down stroking Pen Pen's head as she gave him a smile feeling him give hers his version of a real hug. "Hello there Pen Pen it's been a while hasn't it?" She watched as he looked at her. "You want some beef jerky I remember it was always your favourite?" She watched as he let go clapping his clawed wing fingers squawking loudly. "Yeah I know you do."

She paused watching as he walked up to Erika's cat tree causing the tortoiseshell to flick her tail. "That's Erika she's not enhanced like you and she gets nervous, so be very gentle." Rei moved over locking the door feeling a smile form as she ignored Misato's surprise as she had said that Asuka was very good with animals. Asuka moved out bringing the sticks of beef jerky passing them to the penguin that seemed really happy to eat them. She slowly and gently eased Erika off the tree holding her as she began to stroke her head keeping her calm as she kneeled down letting Pen Pen get a much better look. "She was a stray they were going to put her down because she's a little ragged and not a kitten I didn't think that was really fair."

She paused giving her cat a kiss on the head as she stroked her under her chin. "I mean just because something isn't perfect doesn't mean it shouldn't be viewed as less right?" She watched as Pen Pen used his clawed fingers to stroke the cats head mimicking Asuka's movements as he leaned in curiously as she started to purr.

Asuka looked at him. "That means she likes you." Misato looked at Asuka's left eye, Shinji had spoken about how the patterns pulsed and shifted with her emotions and with certain emotions it got much brighter like anger and even happiness while painful one's could cause it to dim Kaworu refereed to it as a window into her soul and Rei had said that when she slept it had a dimmed state.

Rei turned to Misato who was still staring at Asuka. "Can I get you a coffee or a green tea?" Misato looked up sharply. "Beer." Rei folded her arms. "I'm sorry I'm not giving you alcohol, Kaji told me you're meant to be on iced coffee, plus you're driving and I don't want you to get pulled over for drunk driving again. They won't be as lenient with you this time around and you might end up sleeping it off in a cell in the police station."

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Misato rolled her eyes she really regretting that night two years ago where she'd been fined for drunk driving because Shinji and Rei always reminded her about it. "Okay iced coffee then." Asuka turned slightly. "My coffee maker can do that just press the blue setting on the dial and add ice cream from the freezer along with the cream from the fridge." Rei blinked. "What's the cream for?" Asuka gently put Erika down as Pen Pen carried on stroking her. "You put it on top its called Eiskaffee." She eyed her. "Just put two scoops of ice cream in the glass, press the coffee maker it will put in cold coffee and mix it up then just add the double cream on top."

Rei nodded giving her a smile. "Oh I get it thanks." Misato blinked this was surprising they clearly had a very homely relationship that was for sure. "Where should I sit?" Asuka eyed her as she moved over to Erika's large toy box opening it so Pen Pen could see in side. "The sofa..." She turned to Pen Pen passing him one of the little cat toy chasers with feathers. "If you flick this around like it's a mouse she'll chase it just let her catch it now and again or the game isn't fun."

She watched as Pen Pen gave it a go seeing Erika start to chase it around trying to bite the end, Pen Pen chirped clearly finding the game fun. Misato looked over clearly when Rei said how spoilt she was clearly understating as the cat had a box as big as a clothes box and there was every toy under the sun inside. Not to mention heaps of bedding blankets and spare dry food bags. One thing was clear now to her Asuka spoilt things she loved Rei being one of those things as it was clear she would give her anything she wanted or desired no questions asked.

She eyed Rei who was finishing the drinks. "How do you get used to the wooden doors around here?" Rei looked up as she brought her, her iced coffee along with Asuka's warm coffee. "You get used it to after a while, I didn't get it at first but the idea is they are always open, unless you want privacy then you close a certain door and the bathroom one is the only one that locks."

She moved back switching the attachments as she made green tea. "That also makes sense, for obvious reasons." Asuka stood up picking up her coffee eyeing Misato as she leaned against the kitchen counter. "Why are you here?" Misato took a sip of her iced coffee which tasted really nice. "I just wanted to chat with you personally Asuka because I didn't like the idea of trying to chase after you in your motorbike all over again." She raised her hand. "Plus last time I was here I was bringing you back from the hospital wing after you ruptured your stitches so I never really spent any time looking around your house."

Asuka watched as Rei moved over sitting herself in her recliner. "How's about you cut the crap, I know why you're here it's because I put Yuki in the hospital wing isn't it? Apparently I smashed his lower jaw so he has to drink through a straw now and it will take a full week for it to heal." She felt a cold smile form as she spoke with a sarcastic edge. "Such verfickte pity he won't be able to sound of with his homophobic mouth for a while."

Misato breathed in as she pulled out her tablet she slowly turned it on playing the video of a younger Asuka being beaten up by Yuki. "I'm sorry I blamed you all those years ago, you were the victim not the aggressor and you had left the hospital wing three days ago and the day before this you'd ended your relationship with Shinji and you were at your lowest emotionally." Asuka turned eyeing the video blinking in surprise. "Where did you even get that, Yuki told me it was deleted from the system it's one of the reasons I couldn't argue my case?"

Misato looked up seeing Rei's face turn to sadness as she watched the video replay. "Nerv has a back up buffer it stores everything for twelve years or more and I have two new employees who are exceptional at accessing the back up buffer because they can find the gaps where people have deleted feeds. They found your attack, Kaworu's and Mari's and hundreds of bites of video where he'd harassed and even punched employees all attacks had one thing in common the persons sexuality which makes them outright hate crimes."

She looked at the video. "Also the attacks against you three were by far the most brutal and Maya pointed out that he really went for the lower parts of your body pacifically the reproductive organ areas. Clearly the intent with you, Kaworu and Mari was to somehow take away your ability to have children. I had Maya check over Mari again this morning and she told me that your older sisters fine and I heard that Kaworu got checked out by a specialist outside Nerv, did you?"

Asuka looked up. "Yes he didn't do any permanent damage though my period was utter agony after it and I had to take high end painkillers and a healing pill daily for two weeks, though she said if I'd have had one more serious strike it would ruptured my womb and caused massive internal bleeding."

She looked down slightly. "Ironic perhaps since up to that point I never considered having children because I just didn't like kids but that made me rethink the concept and that I might actuality want children one day with a partner and that maybe I shouldn't look at my womb with such contempt." She looked down slightly. "It also made me realize why my mother went to such great lengths to have me in the first place because she was born with a defect that meant she just couldn't have children without it causing real harm to her body and she had had three miscarriages before me so she saw the birthing chamber as her only choice."

She breathed in deeply. "She also ensured that I don't have that same defect it's one of the reasons she went down that road as she knew the skilled people who create children like me can get rid of faulty genes like that as part of the process and it comes as part of the paid package." She shrugged. "My gender, my red hair and the blue eyes were just her added personal touches nothing else was altered." She put her empty coffee mug down on the kitchen counter. "The company is really strict about that even to this day mental tampering is strictly forbidden." Misato changed the video to the one of Asuka beating up Yuki. "Tell me something did you enjoy doing this?"

Asuka eyed the video. "Not in the way your thinking I enjoyed it because I was correcting an injustice, not for the sake of violence." Misato smiled as paused the video. "Power and control are nothing on their own, they must be balanced through honour and justice, your words." Asuka rolled her eyes. "No they're Kyo's."

Misato stood up slowly. "No there yours Asuka, do you have any idea how cool Nerv found this video? I mean they put a banner up in the Arcade because how awesome you were and you should seriously read the comments underneath this video sometime because they do nothing but give you praise." She watched as Asuka looked away uncomfortably. "Mari, Shinji, Toji and Kaworu all sang your praises after you did this, granted I know now that Mari is actuality your step sister but it doesn't change how it made her feel."

She paused putting the tablet down on the coffee table. "I get it you're not used to compliments, you think it's not for you, that it's something other people get, that's my fault. After what happened with Shinji I wanted someone to blame and I saw how violent you'd been and I took it all out on you instead of seeing that neither of you were in the right place mentality to have a relationship and that you just didn't love each other in that way."

Asuka eyed her suddenly not liking how close she was getting. "No you misunderstand I was completely to blame I had problems so I punished him for them I expected him to fix them when he couldn't and he had his own problems which I couldn't fix either and regardless of the fact that I didn't love him, I had absolutely no right to treat him or Rei the way I did all those years ago."

She felt her body tense painfully. "I was jealous and spiteful I didn't like that other people were happy when I couldn't be so I bullied them and lashed out and I started enjoying it. Because it gave me a sense of power and I knew full well that I could shift blame and play victim when it suited me because I could use my looks and charm on others and they'd play into my hands." She breathed in deeply. "So no I take full responsibly for being a bullying vile brat."

Misato stopped she was three steps away from her now and she knew it had been years since they'd been this close to each other in this very personal manner. "Yet now just look at you, you're a hero and people love you and I just never saw it in you." Asuka eyed her seeing Rei stand up. "I'm not a hero people like me are not heroes." Misato eased out her hands. "People like you who help others in there relationships, yes I know all about Kaworu and Shinji and I know you helped Shinji by giving him a certain book of yours." Asuka felt her left eye ignite. "Please it was a favour I owed him because of what I did to him, he deserved nothing less."

Misato turned seeing that Pen Pen had sat down and was stroking Erika who was near her feet she looked up meeting Asuka's uncertain gaze. "So I guess taking an N2 missile for Rei wasn't heroic and climbing onto Bukavac's back wasn't brave?" Asuka felt a sneer form. "I love Rei and as for Bukavac it wasn't me it was Bardiel who messed up the AT field my unit is not powerful it just looks different!" Misato looked at her shaking her head. "You know I knew you were going to say that and here's the thing Maya recently ran a simulation with your old unit 02's form in comparison to your new one when you fell from that height and hit the mountain of Uluru in Australia."

She breathed in deeply before speaking. "The results were horrifying if you had taken that fall in your normal unit 02 even if you'd done all the same manoeuvrers you would have died. Evangelion's can fall from great heights but they can't take falls from that height in the way you did, the old unit 02 would have sprayed out its own guts and its head would cracked in and you would have died on impact because the force of the impact on the shoulders would have caused the entry plug to be crushed at the top and then forced it downwards into the core itself."

She looked straight into her eyes. "You not only survived the fall but you were still alive and kicking afterwards enough to give Bukavac a real taste of pain and Maya made this real clear your body strength being slightly more had no bearing because she even reran that simulation with your body being stronger and you'd still have died. You changed 02 Asuka it wasn't Bardiel it was all your artistic handy work. Mari's unit doing the same thing just proves the point further that pilots can change any Evangelion to suite there desires and needs and yours is tougher, stronger and much more powerful on every level. The only thing that's stopping you from reaching your full potential in 02 is your mental block that your just not good enough and that nothing is ever you and that there's always some other factor involved which you bring up so you can discredit yourself."

She stepped closer seeing that Asuka suddenly looked very confused and out of place. "I think I get now why Bardiel picked you it's not that you're broken it's not that you were a messed up emotionally. It's that unlike the rest of us he saw who you truly were and what you were capable of if you were pushed to obtain it."

She felt a smile form. "He saw a hero where we all saw a wayward cagey loner he also saw an amazing artist and engineer and he saw someone who puts others before herself even if it means going to her death to save everyone else. Yes I saw your video Asuka it pains me that you had to go through that alone and that you even considered suicide because you just felt like you had no one to talk to."

She raised her hand. "I know why you never loaded your gun though it's because you wanted to go out fighting and to have a hero's death in battle and I watched the feed last night from when Yuki was beating you I saw your last moments when you looked up the Geo front's light before Kyo showed you mercy. I've been told by a lot of people it was the look of someone who had accepted their fate without question. I know though that the old Asuka would have carried on running to the visitor centre and everyone said you could have gotten there. You could have taken Yuki out but I don't think subconsciously you ever really intended to go there to get away, you wanted your last moments to be there for a very different reason one you have hidden from everyone."

Rei blinked in surprise. "What?" Misato turned to her. "The painting of you Rei it's not a coincidence it's all interlinked." Asuka felt her teeth grind together unable to stop them growing as she spoke sharply and coldly. "She does not need to know about this!"

Misato looked at her. "You shouldn't be ashamed Asuka over the fact that you've been cleaning Yui's and Kiko's memorial statues along with your own mothers for the past fours years and laying flowers on both Kiko's and Yui's on their memorial days. Though you do this after everyone else so no one will suspect you along with your own mothers and that you always lay a second set of flowers on Yui's memorial and you wish the divine goddess a good year and hope that all her wishes be fulfilled and if not you'll try and fulfill them even if she doesn't notice."

She looked up slightly. "Up until recently I had no idea who the divine goddess was." She moved her hand out taking hold of Asuka's pendent raising it gently. "Your heart though speaks volumes for you even when you speak the words in your own language." She moved closer gently letting go of the pendent ignoring Rei's utter shock. "So you tell me again how you're not a good person or a hero?" She looked up knowing that she'd literally exposed Asuka's softer underside now and there was a chance that she could seriously lash out in anger.

Because she tended to do the opposite of Shinji who just tried to get away and leave the room. She watched as the red head's teeth returned to normal the next moments caught her totally by surprised as Asuka looked down as she started to cry as the light faded in her left eye as it turned very dark and the light dimmed showing real deep emotional pain.

She moved closer to hug her only feel Asuka's weakly shove her away she looked at her speaking very softly. "It's okay Asuka I'm not going to hurt you." She paused unable to keep the sadness out of her voice. "That's why you shove people away isn't it? Because in your head you've been led to believe for years that no matter how good you are or what good you do, you'll still be stabbed in the back. You also believe that everyone openly hates you so instead you try to hide any good things you do and play them down like they are not important or irrelevant.”

She looked at Rei who was standing behind her now staring at Asuka in wonder. "That's one of the reasons you love Rei so deeply isn't it? Because she gives the respect and love you deserve and she sees you for who you really are. She makes you feel good about yourself and now all the rest of us are starting to see you for who you really are which a very heroic, noble Germany woman who would probably rip out her own still beating heart and put in her girlfriends hands if she could and she would ask for nothing in return." She tried to hug her again only to be shoved off a second time though it was a very weak shove and it was only to keep her at bay not to hurt her.

Asuka eyed her though her tears feeling her teeth grind together as she spoke painfully. "No we've played this game before! The one where you say nice things to me I know you just throw those comments out now and again. It's just to even the scales because you don't want to look bad because for most of my life you've called me a pain and problematic!"

She breathed in painfully. "It's normally when you take out that verfickte knife of yours and you stab it straight into my back plus everything was a joke to you even my coming out was one big laugh." She looked up speaking in a bitter tone. "For me it wasn't a joke! I wanted your acceptance so desperately but instead it was a lame as joke about how Asuka's going to start scissoring women now and Shinji's going to get so jealous and maybe Rei should watch her back!" She breathed in painfully. "Let's also not forget your really bad little threesome joke when myself and Shinji were a couple." She looked down suddenly loosing all of her fight as she began to cry harder. "So please leave me alone I don't want to be hurt anymore by people who don't care about me."

Misato took in a deep breath just seeing this was utterly heart breaking and it wasn't what she had expected to happen at all. "I do care about you Asuka and want to make this right in any way I can because I've treated you really poorly and I'm sorry." She moved forward finally getting her into a hug ignoring the red heads struggling which again was very weak she'd been here some years ago with Shinji though not for the same reasons and he done the same and tried to shove her off but Asuka was persisting. Because deep down she was really scared of being hurt again because that was what she was so used to. "Asuka please calm down." She paused speaking very softly as she started to stroke her hair. "You're such a good girl, your mother would be so proud of the way you turned out."

She felt her stop very suddenly as she started crying harder against her shoulder. "She thought the world of you and she really loved you she always wanted 02 to be yours even before the accident she had put your name down on the program list with the other candidates. Because she dreamed that once she had tested it that one day you'd be the pilot when you were old enough and had done all the training."

She paused as she carried on holding her. "Red was her favourite colour, that's why your hair is red and why 02 has red plating, that unit's every part was put together just for you Asuka. I think she's probably watching you right now and smiling and she's no doubt impressed with how you transformed that unit and made it faster and stronger and much more powerful." She paused speaking softly. "You also did it first, just like you were the first to ever go into beast mode it was your unit's code that was used to rewrite all of the Evangelion's so they could do the same apart from 01."

She held her tighter. "You don't think you have any worthy accomplishments and that you're just a war machine, you're very wrong you've given great things to this program and when your new banner goes up tomorrow I asked them to make sure that all of your accomplishments are going to be noted in your area along with the others." She pulled back keeping her arm around her as she pulled out something from her pocket. "This is also for you." Asuka breathed trying to wipe her tears away. "What is it?"

Misato eyed the envelope. "Open it and see." Asuka pulled a golden letter out which she read as she looked at her in confusion. "You're throwing me a house warming party? That's so stupid I've been here three years." Misato raised her hand. "Hardly if I remember right I didn't give you one because you left so suddenly and I just assumed you didn't want one and I never asked you outright but my not asking really hurt your feelings."

She turned to Rei who was smiling now. "Rei told me something that broke my heart recently that you felt even being at her house warming party was a privilege, because your thought everyone hated you and just tolerated you because you could pilot 02 and that no one really wanted you around." She looked at her sadly. "You shouldn't have to live like that Asuka, you deserve so much better than that."

Rei moved forward seeing that this was the right moment for her to speak. "You were the one cleaning the monuments?" Misato looked up. "Asuka is nothing if not clever she knew the hours when people didn't visit and she'd quietly wander down there and keep the vines from growing over the three statues and then take water from the one of the clear springs and wash them down." She felt a smile form. "Oh but here's the real clever part she'd put her tools down with the others outside the maintenance house, so no one would think anything off it."

She looked at Asuka who had gone very quite as she put the letter on her kitchen surface. "I heard you even trick the garden staff into putting ribbons on the monuments at Christmas time you give them a fake note saying the director wants it done and they have never even questioned it once." She put a hand on her arm. "I'm guessing you always get the fake document from Kaji right?"

Asuka eyed her breathing in as she slowly recomposed herself. "Yes I do." Misato smirked. "Yes he told me and that you two often trade favours, you give him any new spy toys software straight from Germany and he gives you Nerv's room layouts and employees shifts rotations. Which means you can move silently around and literality vanish if you want to and you probably know the layouts better than most people at Nerv its how you knew you could take that lift out with out any one even knowing. It's also how you were able to fight of the special ops because you used Arcade's rabbit warren corridors against them they said in their reports that it was very difficult to track you because you'd shift up another corridor and suddenly vanish only to come out of nowhere and punch them. You also pretended that you don't like Kaji because you don't want him to get into trouble because you're both not meant to trading this kind of thing back and forth."

Asuka looked down. "After Yuki cornered me that day out of no where I told myself I was never going to verfickte let that happen ever again, that's why I asked Kaji for lay outs. So if I ever thought I could be trapped again I could at least escape from any area of Nerv and get out into the open, because there he couldn't attack me." She took in a deep breath letting it out slowly as she wiped the tears away. "I just didn't want Kaji to get in to trouble so I played it that way because I knew no one would think twice to question it." She looked at her hands. "Also I though if you knew that we were friends you'd just like me even less."

Misato looked at her. "Yes he told me about this as well, you believed that I would dislike you more and see you as a romantic rival." Asuka looked down sadly. "Yes but understand, in the time we've been friends I never slept with him our friendship is platonic." Misato looked at her. "Its okay Asuka I believe you but please tell me why would you say this because Kaji and I are just friends."

Asuka pushed her hair back. "It's complicated." Misato looked at her for a long moment. "Go on I'm listening." Asuka looked at Rei. "Kaji knew about my feelings for you Rei for many years it was just something he knew but he never pushed me over it."

She turned to Misato. "But it goes both ways because I know that he loves you, he's always been in love with you but he believes you don't love him and he won't act on his feelings as he knows you rejected him in university over and over so he settles for just being friends." She paused ignoring Misato's utter shock. "We love very different people but it would have been very easy for Nerv staff to fly around rumours about me and Kaji and since I already had two rumours floating around. The first being that I was an abuser and the second that I was a predatory letch who leered after Rei I just couldn't stomach yet another rumour coming up. It was just too stressful and I have my limits and they'd already been reached, so I played it really safe and we only ever talk outside work and do our trades in his vegetable garden, I'm not the only one who visits him there though. I know Shinji and Rei sometime go to him for general advice but when Shinji shows up I disappear plus what Shinji talks to him about is none of my business and I won't intrude but I can relate since I sometimes ask for advice from Kyo."

Misato breathed in recomposing herself. "Kaji loves me?" Asuka turned to face her. "Yes he does and its not some lusting fling its genuine deep love and he holds you in very high regard." Rei moved over to Asuka taking hold of her hand. "You should have told me about the monuments."

Asuka looked up meeting her curious gaze. "I remember this interview once where you said you really loved the monuments and that you always wanted to see them well taken care off and the interviewer didn't take what you were saying seriously, she said they are just stone and it pissed me off so much because it doesn't matter what something is, it's what it represents to someone." She breathed in deeply. "I know that same interviewer asked you a question regarding me and I know you hated the question." She looked up slightly. "I know you considered it your worst interview question ever."

Rei breathed in sadly. "I'm really sorry Asuka." Asuka looked at her feeling a sly smile form. "Its okay you don't have to apologise, I know that the interviewer made you very angry that day and she asked you if you'd ever sleep with me and you said not if I was the last woman on earth." She looked at her for a long moment. "It's funny how that works out?" Rei looked at the other woman feeling her eyes dart this was not the reaction she'd expected at all. "You're not mad at me? I mean my reply was really hurtful, cruel and mean."

Asuka laughed slightly. "No I found it all very funny because she brought out this certain really crude wall scroll with me having sex with you right before she asked you the question. I could see that it had caught you completely off guard and I could sympathize because that kind of thing verfickte sucks." Misato felt a smile form. "Yeah we banned that item two days later because they didn't have the rights to sell it plus we don't allow items like that on the market all pilot merchandise must be tasteful and respectful."

Asuka smirked. "Yeah but you have no idea how many Nerv staff tried to sell me one the next day." Misato eyed her. "You didn't buy it even though they offered it to you?" Asuka eyed her. "No and I threatened to punch at least five people that day because they just wouldn't leave me alone and kept hassling me over it. Plus I thought it was very disrespectful art wise and I didn't think it was fair on either of us." She raised her hand. "I get it the interviewer somehow got a tip bit that I tried my luck in school and failed so they just wanted to rub salt into the wound and cause friction between us just for the fun of it."

Misato kept her hand around her shoulder. "Yeah well they failed then because you two just carried on as normal." She paused putting a hand gently on Rei's shoulder. "Its great though that you both got past any differences and you're together now because I think you're good together and you bring out the best in each other." Asuka eyed her. "Now you really are just sucking up." Misato gave her a wide smile. "Maybe just a little but you know I owe you that since I haven't been very fair to you at all over these past three years." Asuka eyed her. "How's about we just start over with a fresh slate, same way I did with Shinji and work from there?" Misato nodded. "If that's how you want to do it then we'll do it that way."

End of part 54

Silvermoonlight