PAINFUL ECHOES LONG FORGOTTEN

I'm home and yet I'm not even happy as I drive my motorbike into my own drive it feels like such a long time since I was here and it all looks the same only difference is my sunflowers are growing taller. I ease myself off my bike which is awkward because of the bionics under my motorbike leathers then I put the key lock in to my garage door watching as it opens allowing me to drag my bike inside. I put it next to my other motor bike the Trident and pull my helmet off putting it aside before walking out and closing the garage which locks the moment I take the key out. I turn seeing the train go by some distance away there in a station close by but I don't use it, never have I hated being packed in tight around people.

Asuka walked over to her door pushing in the key lock watching as the metal shutter went up. She unlocked the wooden door walking through in to nothing but darkness she closed the door behind her locking it, hearing the metal shutter come down on the other side to stop any one getting in.

She walked over putting her other key in the IDHS watching as her house came to life as it always did as the lights turned on and flat screen TV came down. She looked down as Erika ran up to her meowing as she rubbed against her leg she leaned down gently picking her up. "Hello Erika." She gently stroked the cats face. "Did you miss me?"

She carried the little animal over to kitchen seeing that her coffee machine had started to churn out fresh coffee. "I really missed you they don't allow pets in Nerv's hospital ward." She walked over to the cat food bowls which needed filling. "Let's get you fed okay?" She put down her cat opening the cupboard finding her wet and dry food refilling them along with the water as she stroked Erika's back as she started to tuck in.

She moved over taking her fresh coffee out of the machine taking a long sip, it was so nice to taste fresh coffee again, Nerv's coffee always tasted foul she hated manufactured coffee, it wasn't real coffee unless it was made from fresh beans in a coffee grinder. "You have no idea how much I've missed this." She looked up slightly. "Nerv's coffee is so disgusting it's like drinking tar."

"Do you humans always talk to your animals?"

Asuka snapped around seeing a huge black form lying on her sofa in a cat like manner she put down her coffee as her hand went straight for the Korth combat revolver which was hidden under the kitchen counter out of sight. She pulled it up pointed it in the black forms direction seeing the mouth filled with razor sharp teeth smile as the red eyes narrowed. "Get out of my house before I blow your verficktes brains out!" She slowly pulled the trigger back despite how much it hurt to even hold this gun due to her shoulder injury.

Bardiel laughed coldly. "You're going to try and blow me away with that? It's not even an automatic." Asuka felt a cold sneer form on her lips. "Oh really what makes you even think that it not being an automatic would lessen your chances of dying it I shoot you?" Bardiel eyed her disgust. "All you will do is blow holes in a perfectly nice leather two seat sofa." He tapped his clawed fingers on the leather. "Plus you can't even fire that gun due to your shoulder injury which still hasn't fully healed."

Asuka watched as her gun hand rattled. "You are not real…you can not be real, you're the medical drugs talking to me!" Bardiel swung his huge thin tail upwards. "You know it's only come to this because you keep denying that I exist outside of your dreams, so I felt it better to show myself in your every day life because you just can't wrap your small mind around the concept of my being real. It must be a real burden to have a high intelligence level yet for it to be so wasted on you, because of your high stupidity level."

He stretched out on the black sofa getting more comfortable. "I mean you're fighting my angelic brothers and sisters who come from space and yet you can't wrap your mind around the concept of me hiding out and infecting your brains cerebellum." He raised a clawed hand. "Oh don't worry I'm not altering anything in there, I don't care for changing your award winning personality or how you behave I just enjoy being inside you looking out at this human world." His red eyes narrowed. "Plus if they ever do find I'm hiding up here, well they won't get me out because to do so they'd have to literally crack open your skull and I will kill you before they ever succeed, because if I can't have you no one can." He paused. "Sound familiar wasn't that your favourite line to use on Shinji once during one of your many arguments?"

Asuka lowered her gun putting it on the counter she wanted to throw up, she could feel herself shivering as she laid her elbows on the table putting her head in her hands. "This is my bad karma coming back to haunt me."

Bardiel felt a wide smile form. "Karma I don't understand that concept please explain." He stopped hearing the whispering of her inner subconscious thoughts which he could now easily tap into. "No wait I've got it, its already rolling around in your mind, it refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect that being that your bad actions in the past are coming back to hunt you, in other words because you've been an utter asshole your being correcting spirituality in the present as a way of balancing the universes scales."

Asuka moved over to her fridge pulling out one of the strongest alcohol bottles she had before closing it hard. "You know what, screw this I'm going to get drunk." Bardiel tapped his claws on her sofa. "Ah yes because drinking will just make all your problems go away, it never helped you all those years ago it won't help you now." Asuka cracked open the cap of the bottle. "No I was more thinking along the lines that it might make you go away since alcohol affects brain function." She raised the bottle. "I do hope you enjoy." Bardiel flicked his tail around. "You think I fear liquid?" Asuka moved over to her bag pulling out her grandmothers discs. "You should because by the time I'm done you won't be here."

She turned to her flat screen picking up the first disc which she slotted it in to the player before sitting in her reclining sofa chair trying to ignore him. "Play!" Bardiel laid his head on his clawed hands. "You know you're going to fail Asuka and I know you, the one thing you can't stomach is being a failure, though you don't put your whole life into being a pilot anymore, you still can't stand the idea of being the most unless pilot of group."

Asuka ignored him as the first video started to play it was some old film of when she'd been with her step parents it was old footage of her running around their garden with the other girl she'd lived with. "Next!" She watched as another video began to play of her running around towards the huge lake by her step parent's house pointing at it. "Next!" The video changed again though this time the footage was completely different. It was in a hospital room but not the mental ward, it was a children's ward she could see teddies and kids drawings clearly her grandmother had these films out of order on the discs it was something she could fix though. Her mother's face suddenly appeared in front of the camera grabbing the lens gleefully as she spoke. "She's in here." Her grandmother's voice came from behind the camera. "Kyoko be careful you're going break the lens."

Her mother laughed as she walked toward a machine which was like a dice cube with soft edges though inside it had what looked to be a living womb where a small being was growing inside red liquid it was tiny in size and there was an umbilical cord attached to the living womb wall which was feeding it nutrients just like a real mothers womb would. Her mothers face was a picture of joy as she put her hand on the glass. "She's only ten weeks old she's going to be so beautiful."

Her grandmothers voice came again as she beamed the camera in much closer. "What are you going to call her?" Her mothers green eyes lit up and she pushed her long blonde hair back. "She's going to be called Asuka, which means to fly." Her grandmother spoke again. "Did you alter anything Kyoko?" Her mother adjusted her lab coat as she folded her arms. "I had them alter just a few things." Her grandmother's voice came again though it sounded less that impressed. "Kyoko…"

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Her mother put her hand on the glass again. "Look I altered her hair colour it's going to be red and she'll have sky blue eyes just like you." Her grandmother's voice came again filled with uncertainty. "I thought you said you were going for all natural." Kyoko raised her hand. "Yes I know but I want her to stand out, I want the world to notice her and people think I'm a dumb blonde because of my hair colour despite that I'm anything but and I don't want her to go through that and no ones going to judge red hair."

Her grandmother's voice came again laced with thick sarcasm. "No not unless she goes to live in Britain then they'll just call her ginger as an insult." Her mother rolled her green eyes. "Why must you always ruin my moment?" She turned back to the case putting her hands on it. "To me it doesn't matter she's going to be my little girl and I'm going to love her forever, no matter where she is I'll always be there to protect her and I'll always be there for her."

Asuka felt the tears as they started to run down her face, she yanked the patch off feeling them stream down from her damaged eye. "Pause..." She carried on crying unable to hold it back. "Copy this to my VR helmet and place it under restricted personal files." Suddenly the beer she was drinking was welcoming but not to numb the emotions but just to get washed away in them.

She had not cried in so long and now it felt so welcoming she had always had horrible memories of her mother being cold and hateful towards her in the mental ward yet here she loved her, here she was showing her selfless love and devotion. She pulled the bottle up no longer caring that she was drowning herself in alcohol as the tears carried on running down her face.

8

Rei lay back in her chair crossing her legs as she read the book in her hands only to hear the phone go off near her computer she breathed in leaning over pressing it watching as a man dressed in a well pressed black suite appeared who was in his fifties. "Oh it is just you Shigeo, you know I have told you countless times not to call me here, Nerv probably has my phone tapped." Shigeo leaned forward. "Oh but then I wouldn't get through to my favourite Evangelion pilot and you need not worry Rei I'm having this line scrambled they'll think your ordering in a vegetarian pizza which I'm having sent to your home as we speak." Rei ignored him as she carried on reading her book. "Please your flattery isn't flattering, what do you want?"

Shigeo breathed in deeply. "We both know what I want, to bury your asshole father seven foot under like old Tokyo and make your brother head of Nerv, I would make you head but you say you don't like to lead." Rei looked at him for a long moment before speaking. "Yes well take a number half the world hates my father including myself and my big brother."

Shigeo raised a bushy eyebrow. "Well if you give me what I want this can be dealt with." Rei looked up slightly from her book. "You know I have no intention of giving you any internal information on Nerv because betraying my father means death." Shigeo blinked in shock. "You're his daughter." Rei turned the page. "It won't make any difference, plus since I remind him so much of my mother he just can't stand being around me so I doubt he'd miss me."

Shigeo's face turned to disgust. "Your mother was far too good for him and you are just as beautiful as she was, personally I'm surprised you're not married yet have you considered getting married at all?" Rei narrowed her gaze she deeply disliked this man because like most politicians he wasn't being genuine and he had an a genders and he loved to stroke and flatter ego and he saw her as a target since he'd given up on Shinji ages ago, personally she found him really creepy and she just wished that he'd just leave her alone. "Good night Shigeo…" She leaned over pressing the button turning him off before he could protest.

She sat back only for a strange thought to enter her mind she leaned over normally she wouldn't ask anyone for help but she was so sick of this man trying his luck with her and the one person who had real experience with this kind of crap was Asuka because her grandmother had taught her how to deal with it and she might give her some good advice. She had returned home tonight so she was bound to pick up she leaned on her elbow as she spoke. "Call Asuka..."

The hologram screen came up as it rang she looked at it as it carried on ringing only for the answer phone to go off which was Asuka voice recording. "I'm sorry this is Asuka Langley Soryu, I'm not in right now so please leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you…unless you're a pervert or a jerk off."

Rei rolled her eyes as she spoke. "Hi it's Rei here, I'm guessing your properly asleep right now, could you give me a call back I need to talk to you about something." She breathed in deeply. "Or we can chat about it tomorrow." She felt her eyes dart as she remembering something she needed to pass on to Asuka from Kaji. "Your new plug suit is ready your getting the updated design like Mari and Toji, they say they've calibrated the fitting it will be in your glass locker tomorrow." She watched as the recording ended, clearly she was asleep.

She turned sharply as a harsh knock came she already knew who it was as she stood up putting her book to one side as she opened her door seeing the Pizza delivery woman smile at her as she raised a large pizza box. "Delivery for Rei Ayanami, no need to pay for this one it's already been paid for." Rei took the box from her eyeing it coldly. "Great." The woman gave her a wide smile. "You know you get a lot of deliveries you must have a secret admirer or something." Rei forced a smile as she looked up. "Thank you and goodnight." She slammed the door shut hearing her metal shutter come down completely on the other side.

She walked over to her kitchen counter throwing the box on it. She didn't even like pizza so yet again she'd be giving this to Shinji. She opened the box instantly catching sight of something hidden under the base she eased it out seeing that it was a brand new top of the range data card which was pure red in colour. There was a message written at the top in bold letters. "Sending you all my love, Shigeo."

Rei looked at it in disgust as she put the box to one side on her white kitchen counter. Great yet another data card gift from this man which she really didn't need she had six of these and she only needed three since they were the equivalent of having a desk top machine in an ultra thin card and mostly used when working on holographic simulation projects. She walked over to her computer tossing the card in the metal lock box with the others she needed to get rid of some of these sometime as she hated having more than she needed of anything as she liked everything to be practical.

She sat down on her sofa opening her book watching the pedal bikes go by from her small apartment's wide window as the rain pelted down soaking the street which had a little market near by and some restaurants which were lit up with neon lights and banners. She looked down sadly her father would probably never know or care that two years ago she had talked Shigeo out of attacking Nerv because he wanted to brand them traitors and get rid off them but she'd said it would do no good and the world needed the Evangelion project and if it ever ended the world would be over because the three major terrorists groups would move in for the kill. She had such mixed feelings about her father despite that she hated him, he was still her father and she found it so difficult sometimes to navigate her feelings.

Maybe because there were times, when she was in Tokyo Three shopping which she did on rare occasions when she saw fathers with there daughters who were who age talking and eating and she just didn't have that in her life and sometimes it made her feel really empty and slightly resentful that she couldn't be them even if it was just for a single day. The other problem was she just had no understanding of Nerv's politics and she just had no idea how to out maneuver her father to get what she wanted she had tried in the past but it had just led to failure and punishment.

Shinji had been constantly punished for trying and she hated her father for that as he had done nothing but harm her older brothers confidence and self-esteem which only in the past fours years had started to really recover. She looked at her book again, just one time in her life she wanted to be on an even playing field and have a hold over her father, just so he would get a taste of his own bitter medicine and know how it felt to have that lack of control.

She knew though that it was just wishful thinking and very much a pipe dream, it would never really happen because like her brother she had aspirations that she just couldn't fulfill. That was life though you never really got your dreams and desires just shadows and illusions that were never ever fully fulfilled, maybe when she accepted this she'd be a lot happier in her life.

End of part 13

Silvermoonlight