THE VALUE OF POWER AND PROWESS
Geraldina looked up at the holographic screen from her seated position at the German head quarters sadly for Ritsuko this would not be on a private channel it would be pumped in directly to the main room where the rest of her head team worked which would be over a hundred people.
These same people had, to watch in horror as this woman had hit her granddaughter, the footage had been encrypted and they had all just assumed it was mission details which were normally just code for what unit 02 needed as all of its weapons and bullets and almost all of it's plating was made here as well as its green eye lenses which were shipped over to Japan regularly as they got cracked quite often though old ones were never wasted they were sent back and refurbished as was most of its plating.
Hence it had been awful for the video to be pulled up on screen, even if Asuka had gotten her own back it didn't change how disgusting this event was. Her granddaughter was very sick both physically and emotionally and Misato had sent her the extra piece of information which pointed to the fact that someone over in the Japanese branch had sabotaged her plug suit.
This in turn had caused her to be physically sick and it had hurt her already injured body though from what she had read Rei had been there along with her brother Shinji and the other pilots to help her after she'd almost passed out in the pilot's bath room floor.
For that she was so grateful but now she was even more concerned for Asuka as she had not picked up the phone when she'd called and her nephew Kolby had not gotten through either and that really worried her as Asuka had never cut herself off from her own family before, it was deeply concerning. Either way once she was done here she would have Misato transfer her over to the pilot's personal phone in the wreck room so she could speak to her personally.
She looked up as Ritsuko appeared on her screen she was in the central office but Gendo was nowhere in sight which would save her a whole lot of problems. It wasn't like she'd tell her husband what she had even done she would keep it from him because she knew just how much of a terrible scene it would cause even though Gendo was an asshole he did like everyone to play by the company's rules including those in high positions as he wanted them to set the example to the staff under them.
Ritsuko looked into Geraldina's emotionless face as it appeared, she had been dreading this all morning but there was little she could do to change it. Gendo was not here he was out on business and visiting a company in North America who were interested in joining Nerv to see if they had anything of value or worth which they probably didn't since they ran synthetic oil fields though petrol was no longer used oil was still required to make plastic and other items and they already had a huge oil distributor under them in Saudi Arabia.
Geraldina breathed in deeply feeling her teeth grind together as she spoke. "Well I don't need to bother with the pleasantries now do I?" She put her finger on a file on her chairs tablet flicking it on to huge hologram screen watching as it replayed the sync test events. "Someone in your company was nice enough to send me this last night." She felt her body tense. "I normally don't mind being woken up at three o'clock in the morning when it concerns issues regarding the central branch but I can honestly say I never expected to be woken up with this scheiss. It really ruined my day and the day of everyone here at the German branch that just happened to be watching the feed which was a lot of people."
She narrowed her gaze. "My granddaughter is not a trophy item she is not stupid or worthless and she is not the so called idiot muscle on your Evangelion team. She was picked not because of her link to me or her mother it was her mental ability to sync which was high and she was never given any special treatment during the two year training with the other eight child candidates. She was the final successful candidate because she worked the hardest and surpassed them all in her second year." She felt her hand form a fist. "Clearly you've never had children you've never watched them grow, fail succeed and been there to wipe their tears and hug them in their hours of desperation." She leaned forward in her chair. "You've never seen how damaging words can be to them even when they finally become adults and Asuka is no different from any other child even now as an adult."
She raised an eyebrow. "I think deep down you knew that when you sized up to her and tried to make her feel small and helpless through humiliation. Clearly growing up you never learnt that lesson which is pushing around easy targets is not an act of strength but an act of cowardice."
Ritsuko folded her arms. "It was a misunderstanding." Geraldina looked down. "Please spare me your excuses you made it very clear that you've disliked my granddaughter for the whole nine years she's been on this program. Why if you were having issues with her you never contacted me about it, I'll never know." She breathed in deeply. "Not that it really matters anymore as the damage has now been done." She put her hands together. "So all I will say is this."
She turned looking directly at her not missing a beat as her next words came out filled with venom. "You ever touch my granddaughter again in that way, I will personally make my way up to your head office and I'll break both your verfickten legs followed by your arms!" She looked up. "Is that understood?!" She pushed up her glasses it wasn't even a joke they both knew it, she was military trained and though she might be elderly she could still just about hold her own against younger men and women during military training. Ritsuko's face turned to contempt as she spoke. "I understand perfectly."
Geraldina narrowed her gaze. "Oh and by the way this channel isn't perfect in terms of encryption as we've been having technical difficulties over here due to testing one my granddaughters new AT field weapons. You know how that stuff can scramble the electrics at times, though the press and media won't pick this up the other divisions might and you know how the British, Chinese and Ukraine division's all feel about harassment towards pilots so I do hope you don't get any wayward phone calls, I mean if you did that would be most unfortunate." She watched as Ritsuko sneered as she vanished from the screen.
She sat back in her chair which overlooked the factory area where new huge red plates were being built by the workers they weren't having any technical difficulties that was very much a lie but Ritsuko didn't need to know that at all. She breathed in pressing her tablet hearing the phone ring only to be picked up by a young male voice. "Nerv central headquarters this is a secured channel, how may I help you?" She looked down breathing in sadly knowing that her next phone call couldn't wait any longer. "This is Geraldina Zeppelin head of the German division please put me through to Misato Katsuragi's personal channel through code encryption five, nine, eight." The male voice came again. "We are putting you through right now please stand by."
8
Rei looked up slightly catching sight of Asuka who was sitting in her chair side ways in the wreck room staring off aimlessly into space with her good eye. She had a graphic novel in her hands but she wasn't really reading it, it was clearly just there for show. It was so unsettling how quite she was, since she had come in she hadn't spoken at all and she had been told that she could do what ever she wanted today yet she wasn't in the gym or shooting bullets on the range it was so saddening. She was already regretting not phoning her last night but she'd felt that maybe she needed sleep she had inwardly hoped that maybe today she would be better but she wasn't, she was much worse emotionally.
The others were all seated around her talking while Mari was staring at her from her sofa chair opposite though it was more of a wayward glance as she was busy writing code on her hologram screen. The flat screen was playing as the others watched and talking obvious to her silence. Mari eyed Asuka feeling a coy smile form as she eyed the news feed. "Hey Princess!" She blinked seeing that Asuka wasn't even registering her presence in any manner which was odd she pulled out one of her scuttle bots which was hidden behind the sofa chair typing something into it then putting it on the floor watching as it moved over to Asuka's sofa chair. It eased up its air horn which went off instantly causing Asuka to shoot up right almost in panic and caused the others to jump slightly.
She watched as the red head turned to her the anger in her face which caused her to laugh as her scuttle bot ran away as fast as possible going up the wall so it was out of range. "You're on the news! There talking about the fact that you're a cripple since you broke half your body." Asuka looked down taking in deep and slow breathes trying to slow her heartbeat down as she sat back in her chair speaking in a cold tone realizing that everyone's attention was now on her. "I don't care, verpiss dich and leave me alone." Mari turned to Toji. "Did she just tell me to fuck off?" Shinji eyed her in annoyance. "Yes she did."
Mari stood up eyeing Asuka whose good eye was staring at her coldly. "Wow you're really moody today what's your problem didn't you get laid last night or something?" She felt her coy smile turn to a wide grin. "Or is everything below the waist not working right now hence why you're all pent up and frustrated?" Rei turned eyeing Mari in disgust. "Leave her alone, you're not funny." Mari smirked as she looked at her. "No I'm hilarious." Shinji eyed the taller woman as he pressed the central remote on the table changing the channel. "There's nothing hilarious about picking on people."
Asuka tensed she didn't need this right now she just wanted silence, clearly it was a mistake to even come up here, everything just felt too noisy both in her mind and all around her. Why couldn't she get any peace? She so desperately wanted her mind to just go silent because it was hard to concentrate on anything it just felt like even the smallest things took so much effort. She hadn't slept well last night as Bardiel's words about Rei were still ringing her mind. She desperately wanted to just dream like she used to and have the dream she had most often of trying to find her mother in a field of sunflowers but she didn't dream anymore her dreams were just a black void.
She lowered her head she felt like she was being stretched like an elastic band emotionally and she had no strength to stop the constant pressure she felt weak, tired and truly drained. She desperately wanted to remember what happiness felt like even though she had not had any before this event had happened but now she so wanted to feel it so badly but the emotion just seemed so far out of her reach. She felt like she was drifting away nothing felt real anymore not taste not touch or smell and she wanted to cry so much more but she knew she couldn't and even if she did she knew no one would care it would just be seen as her acting out or trying to get attention.
She knew she was so close to going too crazy she could feel it, it was like someone was burning at the edge of her soul with red hot flames. Was this how her mother had felt at the end before she had hung herself? Had she slipped in to the darkness like this was she aware of it, had she known that she had tried to strangle her the real her and not the doll? Had it been like some waking nightmare where her subconscious could see but her real mind couldn't? She'd probably never know so what was the point to her questions as she would never have the answers.
Mari eyed Shinji. "Look I get it, your sticking up for her because she used to ride your dick once upon a time but you don't have to, I heard she wasn't all that nice to you in that she treated you like some sex toy." Shinji looked up as he picked up his sketch pad and pencil. "What happened between me and Asuka is none of your concern." Kaworu shook his head. "Your being incredibly unreasonable Mari you're taking pieces of the full story and they're out of context Shinji and Asuka had good times as well I know he told me." Rei turned seeing that Asuka wasn't paying any attention she was spaced out again, it was like the world could crash and burn around her at this very second and she wouldn't even notice let alone care.
More disturbing she just had no fight even the Asuka she was used to who was withdrawn would fight or have some part in this argument since it was a sore point in her history but there was nothing just cold silence. She moved about to get up and go over to her only to stop as Misato came running in through the doors the walk around phone receiver in her hand which caused everyone to go quite.
Misato turned instantly spotting Asuka who was seated forward on her chair. "Asuka you have a call from Germany, you can plug this phone into the receiver in here." She blinked seeing that the red haired woman wasn't taking any notice of her. "Asuka you have a phone call!" Asuka turned finally registering her presence she moved the receiver close to her face. "It's your grandmother she wants to talk to you." She looked up slightly. "She says you didn't pick up last night."
Asuka breathed in deeply she didn't want this ether, she spoke even though her own voice sounded distant even to her. "Please I don't want to talk to her right now." Misato rolled her eyes. "Asuka she's taking the time out of her very busy day to check up on you now show some respect and take the damn phone, I've got her on hold right now!" Asuka took the phone from her hand walking over to the bar she plugged it into the point in the wall as she sat on one of the chairs seeing Bardiel's red gaze follow her from where he was seated opposite her sofa chair. "What's the button to take her off hold?"
Misato blinked seriously had she forgotten since when did Asuka forget this? "It's the blue side button you're the one who set it up remember?" She turned to the others remembering why she was here which was to update them on up coming things they had to do. "Okay I have some oncoming tasks for you all as some companies have been asking for Nerv's help, so Shinji you'll be going with your Evangelion out to Russia in a few days, your going to do a pick up there and Mari will shadow you as they have some really important software military packages and then your both going to fly them to Australia on the same day and drop them off. Toji you'll still be training and I want you to train with Kaworu." She looked up. "Mari you'll also be going to the oil fields with Rei again in Saudi Arabia acting as her guard as they want Rei to fix their faculty oil machine, like last time that will be the day after you shadowed Shinji."
Rei breathed in deeply great oil work again she hated oil work and she loathed climbing down that stupid underground contraption that created synthetic oil, it was always the same jammed section and she had to kick it back in to place using 00's foot.
Plus she never saw anything but desert why couldn't she get something interesting? Like the Oculus project which was about conservation and where you got to help with the replenishment of wild life you got to see forest jungles and animals of every kind. You also got to visit the machines which were out in the red oceans and were slowly turning them back to blue while replenishing the vast sea life. Why couldn't she do the space program where you got to go out into space and visit the Eos international space station where the astronauts were and delver there packages and do maintenance?
Instead she always got sent to remote areas with nothing interesting going on and it was because her Evangelion was seen as some boring and uninteresting thing even though it had all new systems just like the others yet she never got to do interesting things like her brother or Kaworu. On top of that, she really hated synthetic oil it was awful stuff and it took hours to wash off and she just ended having to stand 00 in the huge wash bay for ages until her unit was fully cleaned.
Misato looked up. "Also will someone tell Asuka that she'll be put out on the training field tomorrow with all of you and once she's better she's going to go out to Singapore again where she will shadow the UN fleet."
Rei breathed in deeply her work might be awful and boring but Asuka was literally treated as a dog of war all she ever did was shadow armies from terrorist groups and kill anyone who tried to attack them. Her Evangelion always came back covered in thick black dirt, sand or dried salt from the ocean which she hated because she didn't like deep water or the sea and sometimes she ended up going swimming just break terrorist submarines.
If it wasn't people it was protecting other Evangelion's when they were in war zones, she did no interesting work other than being a walking gun to blow up and kill people. She wondered if that got to her at all, did she feel anything when those people died did it make her sad or was just numb to it now? Either way she just felt sorry her because they were both in the same boat in that they never got to do any interesting things.
Misato turned seeing a scuttle bot hanging off the wall she turned to Mari unable to keep the annoyance out of her tone as she spoke. "Get rid of that scuttle bot I've told you not once I've told you a thousand times your annoying little robotic toys are not allowed in the wreck room!" Mari folded her arms. "Oh come its not bothering anyone." Misato eyed the scuttle bot which had a miniature air horn on it. "Your robots bother everyone, including me get rid off it or go put it with your others which are currently hanging out in a little group in the visitor centre lobby ceiling not bothering anyone."
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Mari eased up her hand. "Oh so that's where they went." Misato breathed in deeply. "You're kidding me right, you misplaced them?" Mari put a hand on her chest. "Look I program them with low end slave AI in that they can only do as I say then I let them loose to make their own way around and its part of fun is finding out where they end up and what they do." She looked up at the robot on the wall. "Apart from this one it's a task bot, it programmed to do as I say it's not AI driven its command driven and it calls the others back when ever I tell it to."
Asuka pressed the blue button as she spoke in native language. "Hello." Her grandmothers voice came back filled with concern as she replied in German. "I'm so happy to hear your voice Asuka you didn't pick up last night." Asuka breathed in deeply. "I didn't feel well grandma my stomach was really hurting me." It was a half truth but she hoped it would be good enough to fly since this was an older model speaker phone and not a hologram phone her grandmother couldn't see her face and wouldn't know that she was lying. Her grandmother's voice came again though it sounded more upbeat. "I've straightened out the problem with Ritsuko it won't happen again I told her that if she ever touches you again I'll break both her arms and legs." Asuka felt her whole body tense nervously. "You really said that?"
Her grandmother's voice hit the air filled with enjoyment. "Word for word..." There was a long pause before she spoke again. "You sound tired Asuka are you sleeping?" Asuka breathed in deeply trying to keep the pain out of her voice as she quickly changed the subject. "Before my mother committed suicide you told me that she had very rare lucid moments when she was herself when she had those did she ever speak of being haunted by demons?" Her grandmothers voice came back filled with confusion. "No Asuka when she was lucid which was very rare she would look at the glass where you used to stand but you were never there at the time."
Asuka felt her body tense painfully. "I figured as much." Her grandmother's voice came again though now it sounded really concerned. "Do you want to talk to me Asuka, I mean is there something on your mind?" Asuka looked down sadly. "No I'm fine" Her grandmother's spoke again in a sad tone "Trust me no one in this family has ever been haunted by demons and when you were a child I never believed in scaring you with that Krampus tradition near Christmas as I felt it would be unfair as you'd been through too much."
Asuka shook her head sadly. "That wasn't what I was thinking off grandma..." She breathed in painfully. "Grandma, am I a good person?" Her grandmother's voice hit the air but it was filled with uncertainty. "Are you sure you're alright? I can come a visit you again I don't mind." Asuka put her hand through her hair in frustration. "No I don't need that I know your busy I don't want to take you or the team away from your work."
Her grandmother spoke again though this time very calmly. "Look Asuka I know you're going through a lot right now but I'll tell you this you are a good person and you have a good heart and you should never ever doubt your worth regardless of what others say." Asuka looked down trying again to hide the pain in her voice, she could see Misato leaving and the others were now looking in her direction. Properly because they weren't really used to hearing her native voice as she only ever used it to swear and she knew that they couldn't understand what she was saying. "I just wonder if this accident happened because it was the universe's way of getting back at me for being so evil in my teenager years and hurting a lot of other people."
Her grandmother took in a deep breath before speaking. "Never say that or believe that Asuka, your fate was completely out of your hands and as teenager you weren't evil you just made mistakes we all do it, its just part of growing up." Asuka looked down sadly as she ran her finger over the bar's wooden engraved imagery which showed carved flying cranes and trees. "I just wish sometimes I could turn back the clock, you know." Her grandmother spoke again in a soft voice. "We all have regrets Asuka its part of being human, what matters is what you do in the present and all anyone can ever ask of you is that you try your best, even if it doesn't work out." She breathed in deeply. "Look little one I have to go now, just promise me that you'll ring Kolby when you get a chance."
Asuka put her hands together. "I will grandmother." Her grandmother's voice hit the air again but it sounded happier. "Be seeing you again all my love." Asuka looked up. "Love you Grandma." She listened as the phone cut off. She breathed in deeply as she stood up as she walked towards the double doors only for Rei's voice to break through her thoughts. "Hey Asuka you left your graphic novel here." She turned to see that Rei was holding it up she put a hand in her leather jacket giving her a weak smile. "You can have it to keep I wasn't reading it anyway…"
Mari watched as Asuka vanished from sight she turned eyeing Rei. "What the hell? She just gave you a graphic novel to keep and read she doesn't give anyone anything." She moved closer. "It's a fucking collector's edition to." Rei pulled the thick graphic novel away from her before she could grab it. "She gave it to me remember, not you." Mari smirked as she started to circle her. "Yeah but you don't read comics, you read long winded books."
Rei narrowed her gaze. "I like art so I can appreciate the imagery and the story." Mari eyed the smaller woman. "You wouldn't enjoy it the violence might get lost on you." Rei eyed her in disgust "Since you don't know me personally and we are not the best of friends you don't get to dictate what I like and don't like." Mari folded her arms. "Since when are you ever Asuka's friend and since when is she yours? You two don't even have the same circle of friends plus you're only being nice to her because she's feeling unwell if she was walking around being her normal asshole self you wouldn't care." She laughed coldly. "She's probably just being nice to you because she feels guilty in some way." Rei looked up slightly. "You know you're an awful judge of character Mari, I don't know what happened in your life that made you believe that everyone is awful or manipulative but it's really sad."
Mari felt a sneer form as she spoke holding back none of her anger. "Please you know I'm right! When this is all over you two won't connect any longer you'll go back to your separate lives." She raised her hand "So save yourself the bother of pretending that Asuka matters to you or that you share common interests and give me her graphic novel." Rei put the graphic novel behind her back well out of her reach as she stepped back. "I'm not giving you anything of hers because to you this is some petty jealous rivalry it's just about you forever getting one over on her, because you hate her for some reason that none of us can wrap our heads around."
She moved towards the doors. "I'm tired of your petty mind games and I'm not going to play along with you." Mari watched as she left closing the doors behind her. "She knows I'm right." Kaworu shook his head. "Right is a matter of opinion and perspective." Shinji gave her a cold look. "Stop trying to make my little sister feel bad, just because you feel bad about yourself in some way." Mari eyed him in disgust as she sat back down on her chair he was wrong he just didn't want to admit it because he just always had to right as did his sister, it really pissed her off. Toji sat up raising his hands. "Can everyone stop arguing around here, it's doing my head in?!" Shinji looked down as he started to draw in his A4 sketch book. "Welcome to life at Nerv."
8
Asuka raised the pistol slowly towards the target range she pressed the trigger feeling the pressure as it fired only to completely miss the target. She tried again only to miss it a second time much to her frustration. Her shoulder still hurt which was making it hard to fire and all of the other employees around her were at least hitting the targets but she was missing completely and hitting the white part outside the red rings. She watched as an older man in his forties with a whiting beard and hair came up to her he had the same outfit as the general staff but the colours were black and the shoulder bands were orange and red to show that he was special ops division.
His name was Kyo and he was second in command over of the whole division itself and taught weapons training to all the staff, his younger brother Yuki was in charge of the whole division and did the hand to hand combat training on the floor above them. She pulled off her ear protection looking at him as he spoke calmly. "Asuka I think that shoulder injury you've got is throwing off your aim, maybe you should stop now you have not hit a thing and you've been trying for over an hour." Asuka put the gun down stepping away from the booth feeling her anger start to boil up "Leave me alone!" Kyo shook his head she was such a stubborn woman at times. "You carry on firing you're going to make that shoulder worse."
He moved his army up boot tapping it against her left leg very gently. "Not to mention I know your having to wear a bionic under those jeans which is compensating for a very bad limp you have in your left leg which isn't helping matters and you need to get used to depth perception again since you've lost an eye." Asuka pulled her leg away. "Don't touch me!" Kyo folded his arms. "Okay fine I'll stop touching you but you need to stop your only making things worse for yourself."
Asuka folded her arms. "You don't get it do you Kyo! If I can't at least aim down here how am I going fire unit 02's automatic guns or even the big gun? I need to fire a gun again that is my job I go out and shadow the UN half the time and when I'm not getting punched up by angels the rest of the time my job is to kill the three terrorist groups who are always attacking innocent people."
Kyo shook his head. "No you need go away and relax and heal fully." He raised his hands. "You're not well enough and no one is expecting you to fire a single weapon out on the training field they just want you to walk your Evangelion around and get used to it again." Asuka felt her whole body tense. "What, theyre putting me out of the field, when?"
Kyo raised an eyebrow. "What no one's told you? Misato's putting you out on the training field tomorrow morning with all the other pilots she thinks it will good for you and I agreed with her." Asuka felt the feeling of panic as it started to set in. "But I screwed up my sync test…why would they possibly want to risk putting me out there now?" Kyo shrugged. "Look I don't think you have anything to worry about everyone knows that Ritsuko got to during the sync test and you panicked. Plus they said that your plug suit wasn't fitted right, its okay no one blames you and getting hit with a clip board wasn't what anyone would call fair."
Asuka leaned against the wall right now she hated that everyone seemed to know about that event when she had wanted to bury it and just move on. "Great so I guess the whole of Nerv knows about it." Kyo's brown eyes narrowed. "Yeah you see someone, I have no idea who, sent around a phone message which has a rather interesting clip of Ritsuko hitting you and trying to tell you that you're shit then it had you spitting blood at her and saying those lovely chosen words back." He laughed. "It's the best thing ever myself and the rest of the special ops were laughing about it all night."
He turned seeing that Asuka wasn't laughing or even smiling she just looked down at the floor miserably which both surprised and confused him as that wasn't like her. "Trust me Asuka none of us were laughing over your misery we were all laughing at Ritsuko she's such a horrible human being and she's normally untouchable because she's Gendo's partner." Asuka breathed in painfully none of his words changed anything.
She knew that they're plenty of people who hated her enough that they'd be laughing at that video drinking in the utter joy of her misery and the fact that she'd failed the sync test. "I need to go." Kyo watched as she pulled out her other ear plug putting it away as she grabbed the gun off the booth putting it's safety on before putting it through the slot where the woman behind the glass screen behind her unloaded its safety and then put it back on the rack with the others.
Kyo blinked in surprise watching as the red haired woman carried on walking not looking back what was going on? That was so out of character for Asuka she would normally at least seen the funny side of this on some level.
Asuka walked slowly out of the gyms lower section as she made her way towards one of the Arcades lifts watching as one opened she slowly got inside waiting for it to close as she pressed the button to the lowest level that she was allowed to which was a hanging level below the Arcade itself which was for maintenance. She wanted to just get away from everyone now and she knew her next actions were wrong but she didn't care.
She waited for the lift to reach the bottom level before walking over to the control panel forcing it open violently then pulled out the breaker killing the power before it could reach the final level causing everything to freeze. She turned not thinking as she leapt up grabbing the security camera forcing it down with enough force to shatter its brackets. She knew the automatic system above would just read this lift as out of commission and the workmen and -women wouldn't be down here for hours.
She could stay here for some time completely unnoticed then just turn the lift back on when she needed to. She sat on the floor pulling up her knees putting her head on them feeling the cold weight of the world on her shoulders. "You're so strange you have so much going on in your mind but you don't say it, why is that?" Asuka looked up as the lifts lights started to flicker all around her, she could see Bardiel sitting in his cat like position his face was very close to hers and his tail was wrapped around her as he towered over her like some black shadow. "Go away."
Bardiel stayed still his lycanthrope body tensing as he pulled out his long tongue. "Was the other brown haired woman right do you need sex to get rid of the tension?" Asuka felt his tongue run down the side of her face it was wet and disgusting on every level. She turned desperately crawling to the corner of the lift trying to get away from him. "Get away from me!" Bardiel pulled his tongue back in as his red eyes blinked. "Funny when male and female humans do that to you in a certain place, you don't react that way."
Asuka eyed him feeling herself start to loose it before she could stop herself as the tears came out of her pure desperation of no longer feeling in control of anything in her life. "Please stop this, I can't take it anymore your violating my soul!" Bardiel moved closer watching as she curled up in fear putting her hands over her head. "You don't seem to get it do you? I won't leave and if your people try to get me out of your brain I will kill you." Asuka ignored him as she spoke to any god or goddess that could hear her. "Please if you're listening I'm so sorry for everything I've done in the past please free me this torment and I'll do anything you want!"
Bardiel narrowed his gaze in confusion she was praying? Why would she pray he was a child of a god he was proof that gods existed, so why pray to another? It made no sense at all. A strange voice hit the air echoing in both male and female tone which he could hear perfectly but he knew Asuka couldn't as she carried on crying "You're no better than Arael, childish wicked games."
Bardiel sneered as spoke back to Lilith who was deep in the underground void far beneath him "You're oversensitive you've been watching your little human creations too long, even to the point that you let them imprison you in that black void."
The double gendered voice came again but the tone sounded unimpressed. "You are so naive Bardiel, you want to understand humanity yet just like Arael and Shamshel, you punish in a way that is deeply cruel." There was a very long pause. "Also I can leave the void at my choosing but I've come a point of understanding that I want to go when merged with another of us or a human so I can begin recreation a new. Because through it I learn so much that you have yet to understand or contemplate you still see existence as material bound by flesh and blood."
Bardiel flicked his tale around sharply. "They are just things why do you care so much? I mean there not like us there fragile, weak short lived I fail to understand why you made them when we are our creators better creations." Lilith's voice came again though in an even tone. "I created them so I could understand what it is to be flawed and fragile because though we are many we lack that understanding."
Bardiel eyed the crying woman in front of him. "I could kill this one here and now it would be easy yes I'd die with her but it would just be one less human it would have no impact and you can't stop me."
Lilith spoke again the annoyance now in the two toned gender voice. "This is where you fail to understand anything at all, humans affect others they leave ripples in their wake it's fascinating beautiful while at other times brutal and horrible but it is existence none the less and you'd do better to be nice to that little fragile female who you're tormenting because you will not get the answers you need. You can only push so hard before the human mind snaps and you're pushing way too hard right now and your father only praises those of you who are able to look beyond the veil of flesh and blood."
Lilith spoke again though the two gendered voice sounded annoyed. "You did this only because you wanted the creators favour over Arael and you want to be noticed and now you're confused because your cruel tactics are not drawing the results you desire."
Bardiel snarled as he looked up. "I just want her to merge fully with me if she would just allow me in it would be easier for the both of us."
Lilith's flowing multi-gendered voice came again but softer. "Then you need to work on trust and boundaries and be much more fair you have to let the emotion be natural not forced because your pushing buttons and repressing others. You know you can vanish you don't always have to be seen or heard and you can allow this little being sleep, real sleep and you can give your gifts without desire for return and try to understand the painful emotions as well as the good ones."
Bardiel felt his body tense. "Is that your only advice?" Lilith's voice came again but in an unreadable tone. "Yes and I will not be giving you anymore, until you start to learn as you have no intention of merging with me down in the void we are at an impasse and I can only teach you so much the rest you have to work out yourself." Bardiel grinded his huge teeth together in thought. "Okay then I'll try and play it your way for all the good it will do."
Asuka breathed in as the lights around her stopped flicking and everything went still she looked up seeing that Bardiel had vanished, yet she didn't dare move from her spot in the corner she was just too afraid that if she did that he would appear again and it would be part of a twisted game. She had never believed in gods or goddess or even the one god yet right now she was so confused because some had seemingly answered her prayer.
She put both hands on her face everything was so messed up right now in her mind it was hard to even think straight and she was so tired. She felt her body slip onto its side as she half curled up on the carpeted floor before she could stop herself, it was pure mental and physical exhaustion setting in before she could stop it and she just couldn't fight it anymore. She watched the world fade out as she slipped into the darkness of her dreams which felt so welcoming as it had been so out of her reach for such a long time.
End of part 16
Silvermoonlight