MEMORIES OF WHAT HAS BEEN AND GONE

Asuka breathed in deeply she'd been given a very strong pain killer to take the edge off by Maya who was the only person she trusted to use the medical gun on her because she was gentle and didn't shove the needle in to her neck. The pain killer wasn't perfect though she was still feeling some pain in her stomach sadly though she couldn't have anymore because if she did it would send her as high as a kite.

Her grandmother had left and had gone to look after her house and her cat and she'd said that she would be back tomorrow. Though she had told her not to worry and to go see Tokyo three and do some sightseeing and shopping for herself as she was truly grateful for the sweets and chocolate, though a part of her wanted nothing more than a vanilla and caramel ice cream based milkshake but Maya would never let her have that at this moment because her guts were still healing. She probably wouldn't get around to even eating the chocolate or sweets if Maya had anything to do with it.

She closed her good eye about to drift off only to hear the stomping of feet and shouting she opened her good eye seeing Shinji and Rei Toji and Kaworu's faces all up against the glass as they waved at her. Maya looked up eyeing all the pilots who had gifts she had just given Asuka her painkiller and had been about to leave her alone. "Looks like all off your friends are here Asuka." Asuka felt a sneer form. "Great…the peanut gallery is here."

Maya raised her hand signalling them to come in. "I'm going to ignore that comment since it's probably your painkillers talking also I don't see your friends as hecklers." Asuka tensed painfully she just wanted to sleep and the last thing she wanted was for anyone to see her like this, since she was basically crippled and in this awful state. Maya watched as everyone came in. "Oh I see gifts." She eyed Asuka who didn't respond in the slightest.

She eased up her hand pointing at Toji as the tall young man came in. "You no touching of her broken legs or arm, the bones have only just been reset and she can't have any pressure there, do you understand?" Toji raised his hand. "Yes Miss Ibuki." Maya put her hand in her lab coat pocket. "Good because I will not have you unsettling her bones by mistake like you did Shinji's six months ago after he broke his leg." Toji tried to give her his best smile. "Technically that was an accident, Miss Ibuki." Maya narrowed her gaze. "Yes hence why I don't want another accident." Shinji watched as she left, he moved over to Asuka's bed watching as the other gathered around taking seats on the left side of the bed. "Hello Asuka."

Asuka looked up at him truthfully she was happy to see him and Rei just not the others as she didn't really know them as well as she would have liked and when Kaworu had gone to live with Misato she had left nine months later she'd been the first one to leave three years ago because she had just wanted so much to get away.

Now she regretted that the people around her were people she really didn't know any better. "Hello Shinji." Toji leaned forward seeing his moment to speak to a pilot who he had considered his idol ever since the program had started. "So how many bones did you break?" Asuka narrowed her good eye. "What are you stupid!?" She eased up her good hand. "Enough to make my life really miserable and I won't trouble you with the whole issue of my lower gut!" Toji backed away okay maybe that wasn't the angry response he had been expecting.

Shinji felt a smile form. "We brought you gifts." Toji moved over seeing his moment to show off his gift. "I got you a cool action figure of you, it's a special edition and since you're getting a new plug suit this is the last time we'll see you in that all red plug suit!" His smile widened. "Now you can play with yourself." He watched as Shinji turned staring at him in shock while Kaworu just shook his head and Rei put a hand on her face.

Toji slowly put the toy on Asuka's table which already had chocolate and sweets on it as he looked around at everyone else. "What?" Asuka rolled her good eye. "You should be so happy right now that I can't move." Kaworu moved forward easing out a little puzzle box made of wood. "I brought you this." He put in front of Asuka. "It's called a Karakuri it's a puzzle box it's for when you get bored in here."

Asuka looked at him for a long moment. "Okay but I'm not that good with things like this." Kaworu felt a warm smile form. "Well we can all learn new things given time." Asuka picked up the box truth was that at times she found it hard to fathom that Kaworu had once been a child rebel fighter in his home country who had been seeking revenge for his parent's deaths. Because he was so calm so relaxed and so full of philosophy and he was always so at peace, she had always envied Rei and him for that because they had a calm that she knew she would never have or ever obtain as long as she lived. She looked at the box again. "Thanks."

Shinji moved forward as his best friend stepped back. "I brought a Furin chime, it's for your house you could hang it outside your door." Asuka eased up her good hand gently taking the wind chime from his hand looking at it. "Thank you Shinji." She gave him a small smile despite that she wasn't really smiling on the inside but the last thing she wanted was to hurt his feelings in any way. Shinji turned tapping Rei's arm watching as she looked up realizing it was her turn. Rei stood up easing up a fluffy cat toy which had been painted in Evangelion 02 colours and had two tails. "I got you a cat toy."

She pressed its belly making it meow. "You know because they nick named unit 02 Nekomata." She looked at the cat toy. "I know you're not a huge fan of these kinds of things but I thought it might cheer you up." She passed it to Asuka who took it looking at it. "I think it's rather cool that they named your unit after that Oni." Asuka eyed the toy truth be told she really liked this but the last thing she wanted to do was make a scene because they'd all see her as weak or stupid but at the same time she didn't want to hurt Rei's feelings by making out that the gift didn't matter to her when it really did. "Thank you Rei." She eyed her chocolate eased it up with her good hand. "Would you and Shinji like a piece? I mean I know you both like Belgium chocolate." She watched as they took it breaking of some cubes she turned to Kaworu. "You can have some too, if you like." Kaworu shook his head. "Thank you but I don't eat chocolate." Toji pushed in front of Shinji. "Can I have some?" Asuka looked up narrowing her good eye. "No." Toji blinked in surprise. "What why?!" Asuka looked at him as she spoke unable to keep the anger out of her voice. "Because you're an idiot!"

Mari could see what was going on behind the glass even though she couldn't hear they couldn't see her, she was hiding off sight. She folded her arms she was tired her first long shift was finally over and now she just wanted to go to sleep. Why did Asuka get everything? She deserved nothing. Yet people loved her and she didn't even care for there affections she repaid them with nothing but anger and mostly discontent.

What she wouldn't give for them to surround her like that to shower her in gifts, she eased up her finger adjusting her glasses as she put her other hand on her black trousers. Yet that would never be, she was not part of the main group and was completely on the outside and had been since she'd come here as Misato never invited her around for the weekly get together, Toji was her only friend and they tended to hang out together, he was never invited to these get together dinners ether.

Maybe this feeling of rage was what had made her put that entry plug in her unit's mouth. She had never expected Shinji or Rei to intervene though or for Shinji to literally punch her unit in the face causing it to hit dirt so he could restrain her while Rei went after the battered entry plug in 00, she didn't understand why anyone would fight for this moody self serving princess, it was just beyond her.

Her thoughts were suddenly cut off as someone grabbed her white shirt's black loose tie violently causing her to be turned around. She looked down meeting Maya's ice cold gaze she gave the small woman a sly smile. "Why hello Maya." Maya kept hold of the much taller woman's tie. "You were just leaving weren't you?" Mari tensed hating that she was now banned from this place but she wasn't going to argue it as she knew full well that Maya despite her size and stature didn't put up with any ones bullshit and was not to be toyed with. "Yes I was." Maya let go off her tie. "Then get out." Mari eyed her in disgust. "Fine it wasn't like anything interesting was happening anyway."

Maya watched as the tall young British woman left walking away casually she couldn't believe she had to do this all over again. Granted the younger Asuka had, had issues with rule breaking but she had long since gotten out of the habit of doing this and played by the rules. Mari though was just like she used to be if not worse, because Asuka had broken the rules purely to get attention, Mari was breaking them because she found it funny and amusing to her everything was like some kind of big joke and that included other peoples suffering and none more so than Asuka's.

8

"What did I say, I don't get why she was so mad?"

Shinji breathed in deeply as he sat at the food restaurant table which was inside the Arcade and had glowing neon yellow lights and served all forms of Japanese cuisine. "We've really got to work on your Japanese." Toji banged his fist down hard on the table. "What all I said was now you can play with yourself." Rei took a sip from her honey dew bubble tea. "I'm sure you meant something different with that final word, like play with it." Toji blinked as he thought about that and the cogs suddenly clicked in his head. "Oh man I didn't mean it like that…I really didn't know now she probably thinks that I am some kind of sick pervert." Kaworu began to slowly eat his food. "Don't worry she'll probably have forgotten by tomorrow, she tends to get side tracked by other things these days and never really holds grudges."

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Shinji began to eat his food he carefully passed his sister some soup since she was vegetarian. "Believe me when we were kids it was so hard to be around her, she could be really cruel and violent and she didn't get the whole concept of boundaries." Toji looked at his food. "You know I thought she was going to hit me." Rei slowly eat her soup. "No she wouldn't do that, I mean she won't hit Mari." Toji chewed on his food which tasted quite different to the Chinese food he normally eats. "If those two ever had a fight I could see it being very brutal." Shinji looked up he wasn't even to argue that. "I agree."

He carefully passed around the Soy sauce. "Maybe when Asuka gets better they'll finally work it out with their fists, since they both love fighting so much." Rei looked at them all. "You know I find it sad that your saying that Shinji, I mean Asuka wasn't put on this earth just to crack open people's heads." She took another long a sip from her bubble tea. "I mean you all refer to her like her purpose in life is to fight and nothing more." Toji breathed in deeply. "No offence but I admire her because of her fighting, I remember living as a very poor kid in China every day with my little sister Sakura and I would go find our food and then I we would go to this big screen in the city and watch your training simulations on these huge screens. Asuka was the one doing all those ace moves and kind of breaking the rules in unit 02 and disobeying orders." He looked up slightly. "She was so reckless and I loved it, I would not be on the program if not for her I mean they laughed at me when I went to the sync test."

He felt a cold smile form. "The chicken shit bastards weren't laughing when I aced it." He leaned back putting his hands behind his head. "Yeah that's a moment I will treasure forever and I only got that though being inspired by Asuka." Rei breathed in deeply. "I don't think she likes hero worship and if you had met her when we was younger she'd have loved that, in fact she'd have loved you then punished you."

Shinji looked at his half empty bowl. "Maybe it's for the better you never did meet that Asuka she might have loved you and left you, she was such a heartbreaker." Toji leaned forward. "Yeah I heard about this, one of the staff was telling that when she was younger she had a real ravenous sexual appetite, like she would screw any thing with a heartbeat." Shinji looked up. "That's putting it mildly basically Asuka was so full of it that she thought she was entitled to anything and anyone boys, girls who ever she could get her hands on. Granted it was all safe and consenting but she really hurt people's feelings and broke a lot of hearts because these people admired her some even loved her but to her they were throw away and it was always a one night thing."

He pushed his dark hair back. "After the battle with Shamshel, though she changed I mean she almost died during that battle and her Evangelion was a mess yet she went into this beast mode she was the first to ever do it and it wasn't done through codes like it is now but afterwards she was so out of it emotionally and she started to withdraw from us. She then started following the rules and stopped being cruel and violent towards both myself and Rei." Toji leaned closer. "You two dated once though didn't you?" Shinji breathed in sadly. "Yes it was during that unkind phase but after the battle Shamshel she ended it, she never said why and she won't to this very day she said it was best for us because the future didn't hold bright things for us. I never understood what she meant by that I was sad at the time but we both moved on and remained friends, I know that angels can get into your head but she has always claimed that Shamshel never did."

Kaworu eased up a hand. "I never knew the Asuka these two are talking about when I joined the program she was moving away from Misato's and had distanced her self from all of us but she's always been nice to me." Toji refilled his bowl as he looked at Shinji. "Would you ever get back with her?" Shinji shook his head. "No I think we've both moved on we are very different people now but she'll always be my friend." He looked down sadly. "I just wish she'd open up because I know deep down she has a good heart but I don't think she see herself that way. I think she dislikes even hates herself but she doesn't know how to change anymore so she doesn't try because she's afraid." Toji laughed as he looked up. "Please fear is not something I see in her."

Rei finished her soup. "I agree with you on the fear part, I don't think she's afraid of anything also her good side is so hard to see because her angry side just gets in the way all of the time." Toji eyed the small woman who never really said that much. "You know I did hear that she once came on to you, you know back when you were in school."

Rei breathed in deeply great she knew this topic would come up it always did when Shinji spoke about his relationship with Asuka. "It's the one and only time I've ever touched Asuka and I'm not proud of it, she was being creepy and disgusting so I slapped her really hard. Granted she never showed the same violence towards me that she did to Shinji it was more about her trying to assert dominance and getting in to my personal space. I was just so tired of her calling me names as well as Shinji and I made that known to her, after I slapped her she never ever tried to come on to me again, though she did get in my personal space from time to time though I just used to shove her away. After Shamshel though she stopped all name calling and all acts of violence stopped completely."

Toji eased up a finger. "If things had been different would you have you know slept with her?" Rei fidgeted uncomfortable. "She's really not my type and in all these years we've never hung out on a personal level I barely know her anymore." Shinji raised an eyebrow. "As someone who has slept with her, its not something you step in to lightly, you do it at your peril because she will dominate you no end and she has lot of energy to burn wearing her down is very hard work." He took a sip from his mug. "It was fun once but it's not the kind of sex life I want to experience again."

8

Misato eyed Shigeru who was eating as the sat in behind the bar which was located on the tenth floor of the Arcade. "I don't know what to do personally I do that carrot and stick crap I could make an already difficult young woman much worse." Shigeru looked up as he shrugged. "Well something has to be done but maybe you and Kaji can work something out." Misato took a sip of her cold beer. "I'm not going to Kaji about this he has enough on his plate and I think sometimes he finds it hard working the training field plus he gets paid less all thanks to Ritsuko and her lies."

Shigeru raised his hand. "Believe me no one at Nerv believes that he sexually harassed her all those years ago, she just wanted him removed because she hates him." He put his hands together. "You have it the hardest though I mean you brought up these kids up in a way, there now all adults and can take care of them selves but they still must feel like your children regardless." Misato took another sip of her drink trying to pace herself not that it would help. She would probably overdo it in private later on as she always did as alcohol was her weakness. "Shinji feels like my child yes Rei we have more of a friendship and Asuka doesn't talk to me anymore and she left on bad terms, Kaworu I can talk to but not Toji or Mari."

Shigeru pushed his long hair back as he spoke. "Maybe that's your answer then, maybe you've just got to some how gain Mari's trust I think everyone knows that there has to be more to this than just hating Asuka there has to be a deeper desire and need there." Misato looked at him for a long moment. "You're saying that I should maybe soften her by trying to be her mother figure?" She looked at the snack plate in front of them. "You know that didn't always work for Asuka at all." Shigeru shook his head. "Your comparing apples to oranges here, yes let's agree they are both crazy and angry and have had really awful childhoods but the real motivations behind their anger could come from very different places all together and Mari might be much easier to win over than Asuka."

Misato looked at her empty beer mug she turning it over which was her way of telling herself enough was enough. "Yeah and she might be way harder." Shigeru folded his arms. "Then you have a challenge on your hands but you love challenges."

Misato breathed in deeply. "Fighting angels is much easier than dealing with peoples emotions people are like Rubik's cubes and Mari and Asuka are both like Rubik cubes with lacerating edges and teeth. No matter how far you think you've gotten with them turn the cubes sides and it ether bites you or cuts your fingers when you try to get in to deep." She breathed in deeply. "Toji, Shinji and Kaworu all wear there emotions on their sleeves Rei is the only other one who is also difficult to make sense of, she's so shy and yes she is getting better but I never feel like I know her fully. I know I won't hurt my fingers turning that cube but I know that just like Mari and Asuka I will never ever see the centre of it no matter how many times I turn or try to adjust it."

Shigeru smirked. "Funny how your difficulty comes from young women rather than the young men, you would think that it would be the other way around." Misato shrugged. "Oh believe me the young men have their moments but Rei is never an issue out on the field and I didn't chew her out over her recent disobeying of orders. Her ability to catch Asuka's entry plug is the reason Asuka wasn't killed in the first place, I also personally feel that sticking Mari and Asuka together as a team, to force them to work it out was another bad idea."

She looked down sadly. "Six months down the line I've accomplished nothing and now we are in this mess." Shigeru took a slow sip from his beer can. "Some people will never get on it's just the way of world maybe because they need to change themselves first and then they can be better off with the rest of humanity." He took a snack biting down on it. "Maybe some twist of fate will happen and you'll finally get to turn those Rubik's cubes without getting hurt." Misato looked at him for a long moment before speaking. "You're talking about the miracles I only believe in them on the battle field, not when it's about human beings getting on." Shigeru eat another snack. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Misato looked down at her turned the beer mug back up contemplating having another drink despite that she shouldn't and she knew better. "Its complicated maybe I feel this way because I survived an impact I think it changes you in that you look at something so beautiful that looks like starlight angels but then it kills everyone you love in one fail swoop and your left alone to watch the red sky in the darkness." Shigeru felt a sad smile form. "Well I believe anything's possible but then I worked with Maya for years and she believes everything is possible."

End of part 6

Silvermoonlight