TO GIVE UNCONDITIONALLY
Asuka watched as Rei walked in through her door she had something in her hand, she turned eyeing it as she closed the door before turning her IDHS on watching as it all sprang to life. "What's that?" Rei turned showing her the letter. "Someone's sent you mail Asuka it was in your post box outside the door." Asuka eyed the night sky through her front room window. "Please I never get mail other than from my family, it's probably a crappy mail shot."
Rei eyed the letter. "No this looks important its gold sealed." Asuka watched as Erika jumped on the kitchen surface to greet her she moved her hand stroking her before going to the cupboard to get her food. "Doesn't mean I care to read it…." She paused before speaking. "I've had enough hate mail shoved in to my mail box to know that no good ever came of reading letters that don't come from my family." She filled Erika bowl. "So I'll pass."
She turned as her mobile phone rang she eased it out seeing Anneberg's face icon appear as he spoke his graphic smirking. "Ah good you are finally home." Asuka eyed him. "And why Anneberg would my coming home be a good thing are you running out of space again on your hard drive? Because we talked about this I can triple the space for you, it's not a problem."
Anneberg's green eyes moved. "You have mail." Asuka eyed him. "Why should I care about that Anneberg?" Anneberg's face icon smiled widely. "It's people wanting to interview you, about your digital drawings and Rei." Asuka eyed him. "Tell them to go away." Anneberg's question mark appeared. "But they seem really interested in you." Asuka eyed him. "Yeah more like there interested in yanking me through the dirt, I'm not doing this again Anneberg it's just too stressful and it never ends well."
She breathed in painfully. "These same people literally hung, drew and quartered me over the whole thing with Hikari, you know the starter question it will be hi Asuka where have you been for the last three years beat up your new girlfriend lately or did you just skip that part and try to sexually assault her?" Anneberg blinked in confusion. "What if they don't what if they're nice?" Rei gently took Asuka's phone from her hand looking at Anneberg. "I think Asuka just needs more time Anneberg could you just send them a polite reply that she's just busy right now and unable to attend?"
Anneberg gave her a smile. "Of cause." She watched as he disappeared she gently slid the phone back in to Asuka's jacket pocket as she raised the letter. "This is from Tokyo three's Elysium art gallery I recognise the symbol because my self and Shinji get letters from them now and again if they sent this to you Asuka it means they really like your works and are really interested in them." Asuka eyed her. "Then they should be sending them to you and Shinji not me."
Rei moved stepped closer putting the letter down. "You're a great artist Asuka you should enjoy your accomplishments this is a great time for you, the world is probably looking at you very differently right now." Asuka breathed in deeply. "Oh yeah and for how long, no they'll treat me real nice and then when I screw up for what ever reason they'll throw me to rabid dogs." She raised her hand. "I can't do that I can't go through with it I don't have the emotional strength for it." Rei moved closer putting her hands on her leather jacket. "I can come with you if you want."
Asuka pulled her patch off throwing it to one side. "No Rei, these people are cruel and vile and she shouldn't suffer just because of my past screw ups." She looked up meeting her green eyes. "Your image shouldn't be tarnished just because of me."
She heard her phone go off again she pulled it out seeing Anneberg's icon pop up again. "Yes Anneberg." Anneberg smiled. "My deepest apologises for interrupting, its just you got an invitation from Nerv staff to a social gathering tomorrow, they'll be alcohol and food they asked to see your art as well." Asuka felt a sneer form. "Tell them to verfickte get lost!" Rei eyed her. "Asuka you should go to that we both should, it might be fun." Asuka looked at her for a long moment. "Rei these people at Nerv do not care about me none of them came to my defence over Hikari! I'm not interested in there fake kindness now three years on!"
She breathed in sharply and painfully. "When the thing with Hikari happened, women left bathrooms I walked past men gave me cold looks and everyone gave me a wide berth accept Kaji and Maya because they were the only ones who believed I was innocent." She felt her body tense. "I felt like everyone else had just abounded me during that time, it was the media, press and my outside life and I'd tried so hard to change but it went unnoticed anyway, I just felt like I couldn't win."
Rei looked at Anneberg whose face was showing concern. "Could you leave us just for a moment please Anneberg?" She watched as he nodded then vanished as Asuka put her phone down. "I never even thanked you for saving my life after I was nearly swallowed by Gaghiel."
Asuka lowered her gaze to the floor. "It doesn't matter." Rei looked at her. "No I think it does matter you dragged me out you, saved me I had second degree burns all over my body and if it wasn't for what you did I might have been cooked alive." Asuka raised her hand. "It was Shinji's idea not mine." Rei looked at her. "Don't lie Asuka I know you better than, that the idea was reckless and crazy which means it was yours and I know for a fact that you tried to pass all of the credit over to him and Kaworu in your written statements for the public, denying yourself any glory because I had a read of it today Kaji was kind enough to send a copy to my phone."
She looked up slightly. "Even Kaji said the two statements were massively conflicting because Shinji and Kaworu both tried to pass over all the credit on to you and it totality baffled everyone at Nerv because they saw it all live and knew it was your idea to ram a bunch of N2 missiles down that things throat. They just couldn't understand why you'd behave that way because it was so out of character to them at the time they just didn't see it for what it really was in that you'd really changed." She slowly put a hand on the other woman's face. "Then you visited me every day when I got out of the hospital you asked me for seven days how I was and I did something really cruel which was to just tell you to go away and leave me alone and I remember that day I was mean and sharp."
She felt a sad smile form. "So you denied yourself any glory and then I denied you the one thing that you really wanted and would have meant the world to you which was a simple thank you, I can't imagine how soul crushing and heart breaking that was for you." She slowly put her other hand through the other woman's long red hair. "Tell me what kept you going after that? Because I know others just might have given up there and then."
Asuka looked up slightly. "You misunderstand I didn't keep going, I just started to slowly loose track of my happier emotions." She breathed in sadly. "Later on down the line it became darker and finally turned to depression but in those many months before I just wanted to not feel anything anymore. The worst part is it never worked because once you fall into that dark pit all you feel is the pain and misery it becomes so intense and the happy emotions fade away."
Rei looked at her for a long moment. "That was the trigger that led to your depression wasn't it?" Asuka looked up slightly. "Yes but please understand I don't blame you, you weren't to know." Rei eyed her. "No Asuka this time I am to blame, I listened to that rumour about you being predatory and it made me think of you in school and was just wrong of me. Looking back it was so stupid and I know now that you were being genuine I hate that some of the people at Nerv have painted you that way."
Asuka eyed her phone. "Don't you see this is why I have no interest in this so called get together party, these people are the reason I feared you seeing that drawing so much. Because that's how I thought it would be viewed as me being a predatory letch because of that rumour." She raised her hand. "That's why I can't go, I'd just rather be here with you at least here I know I won't get hurt, it's the only place I feel safe right now." Rei looked at her. "Then that's okay we won't go but if nothing else please just open the Elysium galleries letter, they know my brother and me and I'll even go with you if you want I know these people and myself and Shinji have gone there countless times together they are nice people and they will not judge you based on the past."
She picked the letter up so Asuka could see it. "And if they dare to do so I'll have a lot to say about it." Asuka looked at for a long moment. "Okay I'll do that but only for you not for anyone else." She paused before opening a draw opposite pulling out a spare set of house keys she took hold of Rei hand gently placing them in her palm. "You should really take these there my spare house keys it's just in case I'm not here you can come in and make yourself at home." She looked up slightly. "I know you'll need to go back to your own apartment sometime as your mail is probably mounting up, this just makes it easier in case you have to rush back here." Rei stared at her. "You're giving me your spare house keys?" Asuka met her surprised gaze. "Yes, like I've said before you're always welcome in my home."
Rei looked at her this was probably huge in Asuka's world, she didn't give out anything lightly it was an act of trust, even more so considering after what happened with Hikari she stared at the keys for a long moment before speaking. "Asuka?" Asuka looked up feeling her eyes dart. "Yes." Rei moved the keys between her fingers as she put the letter down. "Did you hate women after what Hikari did to you?" Asuka breathed in deeply. "No, I don't judge the whole based on a single persons actions but I won't lie I still hate her to this very day, maybe the whole thing is ironic considering my mind set in school and in my early teens. I mean I used to screw people over and break hearts and act like I was entitled to everything and never cared for the damage I caused."
She spoke evenly. "I mean Hikari is just a much a crueller version of me she played me the same way I used to play others and just like young bratty me she won and I lost big time because she used my desire to be wanted and my sexual desperation against me." She shrugged. "What I don't get is what drove her, I never knew her she wasn't in school with us and I would have remembered her face anywhere because I remember faces even if not the names." She leaned against the kitchen counter. "You have no idea how many nights I've mulled over in my mind what I did that caused so much hated in her that she'd screw me over the way she did and every time my mind always draws a total blank."
Rei put a hand on her shoulder. "How's about we go to bed and you not dwell on it tonight Asuka?" Asuka looked up slightly. "Don't you ever get bored of just sleeping in my arms? I know it must be really frustrating for you that you can't have the physical." Rei turned to her. "It doesn't bother me at all Asuka, why would you think that?" Asuka breathed in deeply. "I don't know it's just normally by now most women and men would be really annoyed at me because I'm not giving them the physical, which is what most people want." Rei felt a smile form. "Yes but I'm not most people Asuka."
She took hold of her hand. "I enjoy your affection and your love the other part I don't mind not having." She looked up. "All my relationships before this all people ever seemed to care about was the physical side and I just wanted the emotional. Yes I enjoy the physical but it doesn't mean everything to me and these people called me frigid and cold because I didn't want to have sex all the time." She looked down taking in a deep breath. "I don't know if what I have has a name but my attractions are all deeply emotional towards both genders and I would rather make love to a person in a special moment than go five rounds of emotionless sex."
She looked up meeting the other woman's wide eyed gaze. "So please don't feel that you're obligated to perform or fulfill some desire just to please me Asuka, you don't have to because I know when that times comes and your ready it will be something really special for both off us." Asuka blinked in surprise as she looked at the other woman. "People really called you frigid and cold?"
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Rei looked down sadly feeling the painful sting of her own tears in truth she normally cried alone or in Shinji's presence but never in front of others and it was normally in sharp bursts and it was over very quickly. "Yes they did it was very hurtful and they ditched me very suddenly and it really hurt my feelings." Asuka stepped closer putting a hand on the other woman's face seeing the tears which just broke her heart as she spoke unable to keep the rage out of her voice. "Pitiful, pathetic verfickte losers they are that they'd throw you to one side like that." She leaned closer. "Believe me I would never do that to you, you're not frigid or cold you're the kindest most loving person I've ever met. I mean you put up with me even at my worst and no one has ever stood by me this long they all walk out and go and yet you're still here."
She slowly wrapped her arms around her pulling her close stroking her hair gently. "That you stay means the world to me." Rei pressed her head in to her shoulder enjoying the smell of leather and sunflowers. "I love you." Asuka felt a smile form. "I know." She breathed in slowly and deeply feeling a huge weight lift off her shoulders because up to now she had assumed that maybe sleeping together and not for filling the physical would become a huge problem but it wasn't anymore.
It was such a relief not to mention that over these past few days she had enjoyed the emotion and affection so much more because it made her feel wanted in a way she had never felt before. It was such a pure emotion and she loved it so much it was so nice to touch, feel and cuddle as well as hold the other woman.
Almost all of her past relationships had centred on sex but had lacked the love and looking back now she realized why she'd been so miserable and angry. It was because the love and other emotions just weren't present and in truth that was what she'd always wanted but because of her naïve view point she'd associated casual sex with love and they just weren't the same thing the emotions were very different she met the other woman's lips in a gentle kiss as she held her tighter.
8
Mari slammed the two ended spear down hard enough to cause sparks to fly only for Asuka to shift her unit sideways on its hind legs out of the way. "Stay still so I can hit you princess!" Asuka sidestepped again in her unit, gods this was so boring had she been this way in the beginning? Just assuming that she could beat a thing and it would just fall over. Mari had such misdirected rage she wasn't even thinking about it strategically she side stepped again as the spear come down missing her. "You know you spent six months training with me, what was the first lesson I ever taught you?" Mari's face appeared on her screen. "That you're a fucking know it all!"
Asuka rolled her good eye not even thinking as she brought up one of her unit's hind legs smashing it with lightning speed into Mari's side with enough force to send her unit flying across the ground causing the other units who were lined up to move out of the way as she crashed down hard. "No protect your exposed sides unless you want an angel like Shamshel to tear your arms and head off, like she did to me and it's not a verfickte pleasant sensation believe you and me!"
Kaji's voice came over the speaker. "Okay Toji it's your turn!" Asuka watched as Toji literally ran out grabbing Mari's fallen spear as she pulled her unit back on its feet she stepped her unit back staying on her hind legs. "Welcome to the elite Toji." His face appeared on her screen. "Its so cool being here, do you like my unit?"
Asuka gave him a smile. "Yeah its looks very cool and I like your sabre teeth." Asuka raised her unit's clawed finger pointing to the spear. "Just remember to keep your grip really solid okay?" Kaji's voice came again. "Please start anytime Toji your aim is to hit Asuka." Toji moved his controls as he started to swing his spear watching as she dodged again. "She moves fast." He didn't get a change to think as she suddenly moved out of his sight.
The next moment caught him off guard as a massive weight slammed into his shoulder and the spear was suddenly pulled out of his unit's clawed hand but it was kept up in the air so he could see it. He moved his units head up realizing that Asuka was literally sitting on his shoulders her clawed feet between his unit shoulders sails balancing perfectly as her clawed hands gripped the upper shoulder sail section. "What the hell?" Asuka looked down. "That's very good but the angels will be much faster than me, you should have Shinji teach you about that he's an expert when it comes to reflex regarding attacks from the back." She leapt her unit off his back landing close by on all fours keeping the spear wrapped up in her right tail. "Who's next?" Kaworu moved his huge white unit forward opening its wings. "That would be me."
Asuka eased up her right tail freeing the spear so he could take it. "You're going to try air attacks?" Kaworu moved his unit back. "Yes." Asuka shrugged. "Okay." She watched as he took to the air, only to leap backwards as the spear came down hard. She found herself leaping again as it came down a second time the next moment turned to pain as his whole unit drove her into the ground and the spear came close to her unit face. "Okay to be fair I really need to work on this."
Kaworu stepped off her unit refolding his wings. "Last time we talked about this, you said you have no interest in pursuing this training which was some years ago." Asuka pulled her unit up on to its hind legs. "Yeah well I need to work on this otherwise I'm going to get torn apart if I'm not careful." Kaworu spun the spear. "I'll be happy to improve it with you." Asuka turned slightly. "Yes let's work on it sometime." Kaji voice came again. "Shinji you're up next." Shinji walked his unit in as he spoke. "No spear." Kaji's spoke his voice filled with interest. "As you please." Asuka felt a sly smile form. "No spear so does that mean you don't care if you get bitten?" Shinji eased 01's clawed hands out reading himself. "No I'm game."
Asuka laughed as he ran towards her she raised her unit's clawed hands as his grabbed hers as they both pushed against each other full force hearing the bending and creaking. She dug her unit's hind claws in to ground knowing that she couldn't hold out forever she had never beaten 01 in direct combat. She grabbed her controls leaping her unit's legs up as she tried to jump over his shoulders only to feel the pain before she hit the ground behind him she turned realizing that he had hold of her tails and was literally hanging her half in the air by them. "Hey that's not nice!"
Shinji's face appeared on her screen. "Aren't cats always meant to land on there feet?" Asuka eased up her unit’s clawed foot not thinking as she smashed it straight into his units face causing him to instantly let go. "Not when you're clutching their tail they aren't!" She fell to the floor only to feel him grab her unit by its top half raising it up in the air as she began to violently squirm trying to get free. "You just don't play fair do you?" Shinji held her unit tighter as it carried on trashing. "Give it up Asuka!"
Asuka stopped her unit's movements this was probably pointless she wasn't going to win anyway. "Fine I give up now verfickte put me down before you end up breaking something on 02 that's important!" She felt him release unit causing her to hit the ground on all fours. "Thank you!" Kaji voice came over the speaker filled with confusion. "Asuka are you sure you don't want to try that again? I mean you kind of just gave up." Asuka moved her unit forward on all fours. "No."
Misato's voice hit the air filled with uncertainty. "No seriously Asuka you weren't trying, do you want to go again?" Asuka looked up. "No." Kaji breathed in deeply. "Okay Rei your up." Rei moved her unit forward taking the spear from Kaworu's hand as she passed him and her brother who was retuning to the group. "Finally you know I don't get why I had to be last!" She looked up slightly. "You know since we are dating shouldn't I get to go first?" Kaji's voice hit the air though his tone was playful. "Absence makes the heart grow founder."
Asuka moved her unit up on to its hind legs watching as Rei twirled the two ended spear reading her self. "No it just makes it more impatient." Rei smirked. "I'm so glad to hear that you're impatient when it comes to me." Asuka eyed her licking one of her canine teeth changing her tone to salty seductive one. "You have no idea." Rei heard 00's jaw's creak open as it let out a roar. "Here, kitty, kitty." She watched as 02's mouth opened letting out a bellowing roar as its tongue came out.
It suddenly bolted onto all fours running at her full force she leapt up narrowly avoiding it as she swung the staff only for the huge red unit to completely avoid it. She tried again only to be avoided as Asuka turned sharply clearly showing much more focus. "Oh now I'm impressed Asuka, you couldn't avoid me last time." Asuka ducked again trying to move fast around behind 00's back. "I aim to impress you."
Rei swung the spear around her back forcing Asuka to leap backwards as not to be caught be the other end. Misato eyed the screen watching as unit 02 shot around avoiding the spears front end. "Is it me or was she just not trying with Shinji?" Kaji eyed the screen as he stroked his beard. "Maybe she just wanted to avoid him because this was what she actuality wanted." Maya looked at the sync ratios. "Asuka sync ratio is rising it's catching up with Shinji and Rei's for the first time in almost three years but I have real concerns regarding Mari she's lowered a lot, I think something's going on mentality and it's not good."
She put her hand on her chin. "I get the feeling that we need to do something about this, because I'm not going to see a repeat of Asuka's current depression all over again where it goes unnoticed for months and we find out almost too late." Misato looked up slightly. "I'll send her an invite to my house along with Toji and Sakura it's time I pulled them in to the fold and made them feel more like family. I will also get Mari to have a personal meeting with you because she's avoided it ever since she came over from Britain she always makes excuses or gives reasons why she can't attend."
Maya looked at her. "What about Asuka?" Misato breathed in deeply. "I've started work on this today, I asked two co workers of mine to look into the whole event again because I want to be sure that I didn't miss anything first time around and I am going to do my best to talk to her, no games, no tricks because I feel that I may have misjudged her."
Asuka slammed her unit's feet in to the ground as she leapt landing squarely on 00's back trying to get the spear free with her unit's clawed hand as she wrapped the tails around the stomach section. She grabbed the spear throwing it free of her 00's hands which she grabbed with her own. "I have got you now!" Rei suddenly flipped her unit forward barrel rolling it she felt 02 instantly come loose as she landed in a hand stand knee's bent only to feel the sudden weight as Asuka landed squarely on her unit's feet trying desperately to balance.
She slowly stretched her legs upwards seeing Asuka try even harder to balance her unit she paused feeling her smile widen. "Asuka have you ever tried gymnastics?" Asuka pulled her units arms out trying desperately not to fall off she wasn't even sure how they ended up in this position to start with. "What?!" Rei smiled as she slowly began to shift her weight as she started to balance 00 on just one hand pulling her leg free forcing Asuka into the air causing her to balance on one clawed foot as it pressed against her unit's foot. "Gymnastics Asuka, I think you might be good at it."
Misato turned her eyes to the screen. "What the fuck, how did they end up like that?" Maya stood up eyeing the screen. "Now that really is something else." Makoto eyed the screen as he spoke in an unimpressed tone. "Yeah apart from the fact that 02 looks likes it's about to fall flat on its ass." Kaji ignored him as he eyed the screen speaking as if he hadn't spoken. "The press are going to love this even more so now that they're together." Shigeru smirked. "Yeah it's got that whole yin and yang feel going on kind like what we see with Shinji and Kaworu in that it's equal but opposite and one balancing the other out."
Rei eyed Asuka on her screen seeing that she looked really out of sorts she was trying so desperately to keep her balance. "You know we could go up the gym together I mean it's not like your doing combat training anymore." Asuka breathed in trying to stay balanced which was so hard as she had never ever landed on her feet in her unit. "You have got be kidding right!?" Rei moved her units outspread fingers casually this wasn't a struggle for her everything she did in the gym she could imitate in 00 it was one of the reasons she landed her feet even when the other units didn't.
"No Asuka I'm being serious." Asuka grabbed her controls but it was too late as she fell off hitting the ground hard on her back watching as Rei casually righted herself before standing up. "You look like you could be very good." Asuka eased her unit back on to all fours. "Please I have no agility I'm not steam line like you Rei, I just blow things up."
Rei moved gently taking hold of one of unit's 02's tails. "I don't know I mean you can draw so who's to say you might not be suited to other things that don't involve beating people up." She felt her smile widen as the other tail gently wrapped around her units waist. "Plus I know you're bored stiff around that time of day and I'm sure you would rather have my company than have to be sitting around waiting for me for an hour and half."
End of part 39
Silvermoonlight