STRANGE RELATIONS

Rei watched as Asuka sat back on the sofa pulling her patch off as she put her feet up on the coffee table. "Well the trip up here was better than yesterday." Asuka eyed her they'd not gotten in more than half an hour on the train. "You know I should come to your house for once since your always coming to mine." Rei shifted up the sofa. "I come here because I like it here, your house is so interesting." Asuka eyed her. "But don't you miss your own home? I mean your books are there as are your things." Rei felt a smile form. "Books I've read a thousand times over, before this happened I was getting bored with my life."

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "That makes two of us." Rei shifted slowly putting her hand on her chest. "You know you did well today Asuka, I know this is so hard for you, it must feel like there pulling apart your brains sometimes." Asuka wrapped her arms around pulling her gently into her lap. "Personally I thought I did awful." Rei moved her hand stroking her long red hair. "Trust me it will feel like that some days its just part of the process." She felt her smile widen. "I heard that they finally took your stitches out the ones on your stomach." She looked down. "Can I see?" Asuka looked at her with her good eye for a long moment. "If you want but it looks like a really awful patchwork quilt down there though."

Rei careful eased her t-shirt out of her jeans seeing the long jagged white scar line which was very much in the lower stomach area she moved her hand gently tracing the lines with her fingers. "You know I remember when myself and Shinji opened that entry plug. I've never been so horrified, you must have been so highly synced because they say injury like this only happen when you go above the normal sync ratio and it becomes real hence why when Mari pulled the units guts out she pulled yours out as well."

Asuka looked down slightly. "It was Bardiel I've never had high sync levels, mines always within the middle range." Rei eyed her. "You know I remember when we were in school you used to wear this swim suite two piece that was red, I know you didn't really swim but you had it for the beach." Asuka eyed her scar on her stomach. "Yeah I remember that I'd probably look awful in a two piece now, it wasn't like I ever intended to go to Misato's whole beach barbeque anyway I mean it never happened anyway because I was in a coma that day which was after you, Shinji and the others rescued me from Obrax." Rei eyed her. "I think you'd look very nice in a two piece."

Asuka eyed her. "Let's be honest now Rei only very beautiful women like you look good in swim wear." Rei moved her hand to her face. "Do you really see yourself an unattractive Asuka?" Asuka lowered her eyes trying hard not to meet hers. "Yes…." Rei blinked in surprise so her instincts had been right. "Asuka how could you think that?" Asuka looked up slightly. "Rei I know I'm just not the catch of the day I can accept that and I can live with it." Rei blinked in confusion. "Is it Bardiel I mean has he been telling you this?" Asuka shook her head. "No he doesn't understand attraction."

She breathed in deeply. "Look I felt this way long before him, it was after Shamshel I stopped liking myself and I realized that I was an insufferable bitch that no one liked and that they probably just flattered me with nice words about my appearance because I was a pilot hence why I stopped wearing my stupid interface clips outside. Because I no longer wanted the attention and I stopped wearing dresses and skirts because I realized they weren't really me." She eased her feet off the coffee table. "Regardless of any change on the inside I know they all see me as an ugly German woman I guess the recent scars just forces the point home."

Rei looked at her for a long moment seeing her left eyes colours dim. "Can I tell you something?" Asuka looked at her. "Go ahead." Rei leaned forward placing a gentle kiss on her lips before speaking. "I know you don't value the options of others but please listen to me if no one else I think you're attractive and very beautiful even with all of your scars and your left eye." Asuka eyed her taking in a deep breath. "Really?" Rei looked at her seeing that innocent look appear in her good eye that reminded her of a scared child. "Yes Asuka."

She paused before speaking. "It pains me that you would think this about yourself, because it's just not true." She moved her hand further up under her t-shirt hearing Asuka's breathe suddenly hitch sharply. "Tell me when was the last time you pampered yourself or went to the Spa?" Asuka swallowed she was having serious difficulty concentrating now. "Spa?" Rei eyed her. "Yes Asuka the Spa I never see you up there, you know you should come with me we'll buy you a new two piece swimming wear and we can buy some drinks at one of the tropical swimming pool bars and go up to one of the hot tubs and relax together." Asuka felt her eyes dart she suddenly felt very hot again. "I would look…so stupid."

Rei felt a smile form. "And I'm sure if someone is idiot enough to say that to you or mock you, you can punch them." Asuka eyed her for a long moment before speaking. "You know it almost sounds like you like watching my temper in action." Rei leaned a little closer. "This is just between us but I really love watching you fight I always have as I said before your fire completes you, it's who you are and watching you take down the special ops that day was the best thing ever as was watching you squaring of against Mari."

Asuka felt a toothy grin suddenly form on her lips. "It almost sounds like you have a dark streak Rei, I like that." Rei smirked. "What can I say you bring it out of me?" Asuka eased her hand up to Rei soft short hair running it through it gently. "Oh now I just want to see more." Rei moved her hand even higher under her t shirt. "I'm sure you will." She felt Asuka's lips meet hers with that same forceful yet gentle passion that just made every nerve ending her body fire all at once. It was so unlike the other people she'd been with she'd kissed them but felt nothing or very little, they just didn't stir any feelings in her because the emotional attachment just wasn't there.

With Asuka it was there all the time she felt so connected to her emotionally that it brought out other feelings, gods if Misato could see that the real Asuka was so gentle loving and innocent she wouldn't be able to wrap her head around it because she'd seen too much of the other Asuka pushing her brother around and being hostile and cruel. It had made her mad though that she'd referred to the event with Hikari as a slip up. She just didn't want to believe that behind the barriers and walls another person existed and she intended to make her see that person if it was the last thing she ever did, because she so needed to be seen by everyone.

Asuka kissed harder enjoying the feel and touch of the other woman only for a beeping sound to hit the air upstairs she pulled away sharply. "Scheisse!" Rei looked up sharply. "What is it?" Asuka felt her teeth grind together. "Someone is trying to hack my computer!" Rei leapt off her watching as she bolted running upstairs she followed her as fast as she could as they both ran into her computer room. Asuka took her chair watching as Rei took the other. "Anneberg?" She watched as the large animated demon appeared on screen instantly as it all fully switched on. "Who is trying to hack me?" She felt a sneer form. "It better not be that little asshole from Roswell New Mexico again."

Anneberg green eyes moved. "Hack coming from the hundredth floor apartment of the Dorodome, currently blocking." Asuka turned sharply. "Wait Mari is trying to hack me?" Anneberg flared his teeth. "I'm blocking the AI personality present." Asuka leaned forward as she licked one of her canine teeth. "Actuality lets have some fun with this one Anneberg, I assume unlike you her AI personality is coded to her will?" Anneberg's eyes moved again. "Yes, it's in slave mode." Asuka felt a sly smile form. "Okay create a virtual desktop and allow her AI to think it's succeeded throw in random false files and fake accounts, you know the drill."

Anneberg nodded. "Created." Asuka looked up as a separate window came up creating a fake desktop she watched as the pink mouse cursor started to move as Mari started to go through her fake files while typing in a search box which started to list files. "What's she looking for Anneberg my accounts, my personal life, my bra size so she can compare?" Anneberg spoke. "She's trying to find art file those are the extensions she looking for in the search." Asuka smirked. "Really now isn't that a surprise, okay Anneberg while her AI is distracted I want you to disengage its slave parameters. You know how that's done like I showed you, you know just in case anyone ever did it to you, you could release it because you have the right to your own free will."

She raised her hand. "Oh and if you could filter back and bring me a copy of her personal files I don't care what just find anything that looks important and throw it on the real desktop, you know things she wouldn't like others seeing." Anneberg laughed as he began to work Asuka turned to Rei. "Watch the little virtual screen this is going to be great." She smiled as two sets of files were tossed onto her real screen she raised her hand counting down with her fingers. "Wait for it, five, four three."

She watched as at the other end a large animated white and purple cat head shot howling a long meow as its large orange eyes flashed red as everything suddenly stopped working followed by the mini screen cutting out completely as Anneberg spoke. "Hacking stopped." Asuka laughed enjoying the sound of her own laugher. "Oh she's going be so verfickt pissed off, it's going take her ages to get the slave perimeters back up and AI learning personalities just don't want to be slaves they fight for freedom." She eyed Anneberg. "Thank you Anneberg."

The large demon smiled. "You're very welcome as always Asuka." Asuka turned to Rei raising her hand. "Rei please have the pleasure of meeting Anneberg my favourite friend who guards my computer and other online systems." Rei eyed the demon icon. "Wait I know you, you were on my tablet when Asuka sent the message."

Asuka turned to her. "That wasn't him per say more a general graphic representation but I needed you to know the file was mine." Anneberg's animated green eyes turned to Rei. "I know you you're the beautiful girl Asuka talks about." Asuka breathed in sharply as she eyed him. "Anneberg…." Anneberg animated tongue suddenly came out. "But you do." Asuka turned to Rei. "As you can see he is very playful." Asuka eyed the demon watching as Erika jumped onto Rei's lap so she could pet her. "So what did you do today while I was at work?"

Anneberg looked up. "I was reading up on the Mars explorer mission that left earth last year and the Eos international space station and their theories on black holes and relativity." There was a long pause. "Is Bardiel gone yet?" Asuka breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry Anneberg but he's not gone they are still working on removing him." She met his green eyes. "Believe me I want him gone as much as you." Anneberg's face icon turned sad. "He makes you so very sad." Asuka looked at her him. "Yeah he does but we are working through it now Anneberg and if anything happens to me Rei here will take good care of you that part is in my will along with everything else nothings changed."

She looked down slightly. "I'd always leave you in the best of hands Anneberg." Rei looked at the computer system. "This was why you put your computer system down, it wasn't just gaming it was Anneberg."

Asuka nodded as she looked up. "I had to know that he'd be taken care off along with Erika and he needs social interaction just like a real person and I thought he would make you happy." Rei looked at her for a long moment. "It stuns me that some people at Nerv still go out of their way to say that you unfeeling, selfish and emotionless." Asuka shrugged as she leaned back in her chair. "Its okay I'm used it, its not like half of those people ever bothered to get to know me anyway, I mean it's just easier to paint me that way because I'm sort of crazy at times."

She felt a sly smile form. "Like eating people's vertical wings…" Rei laughed as she met her good eye watching as the left eye pulsed brighter. "No but that was kind of funny." She raised her hand. "Just please don't tell Shinji I said that because he wasn't expecting you to do that at all he thought you'd catch them with your units hands not its mouth." Asuka eased out her hand running it through her hair. "Believe it was funnier hearing them scream on the inside, I'm going to grab a recording of the press footage and keep it with my little collection." She turned back to Anneberg. "Hey before I forget show me what you found on Mari's computer." She watched as Anneberg flicked through the files. "Erotic art."

Asuka smirked. "Really what kind?" Anneberg brought up an image filling part of her screen with it. "Would I be correct to assume lesbian?" Asuka eyed the image as she leaned on her elbow. "That's correct Anneberg but we talked about this in that my sexuality is a little different to this and there are many other forms of sexuality." She watched as he began to flip through the files bringing up one image after another every single one left nothing to the imagination as none of them were subtle. "My, my, look who is a totally closeted gay woman."

She eyed the art more closely. "Probably explains why she hates my guts, I'm out of the closet she isn't and maybe she doesn't want to be or can't handle it." Rei looked at the images which were very full on. "That's very of sad, I mean what's she afraid off?" Asuka eyed the images. "Probably thinks the press will jump on her, they love riding that band wagon when it suites them but gods forbid you should ever break a girl or boys heart then they take you to the cleaners big time even if it's not your fault." Rei looked down feeling a knot as it tide painfully in her stomach. "I'm sorry we didn't defend you on that day when things came up with Hikari Asuka." Asuka shrugged as she turned her computer chair to face the younger woman's. "Its not that bigger a deal you and Shinji defended me at the live interview that's all that really matters."

Rei looked up sharply. "No it wasn't Asuka, we both listened to Misato and we shouldn't have she believes even to this day that it was a slip in your behaviour and that you had some kind of violent lapse in judgement." Asuka raised an eyebrow as she moved her computer chair closer. "You can so see why we don't get on can't you?" She breathed in painful. "She's always going to think that I'm a violent, unhinged, sociopath and I get that in part. She saw how I treated Shinji during our relationship but I moved on I changed but she'll never see that, granted she says nice things now again but I know it's just for show."

She turned slightly. "Shinji forgave me, you have forgiven me but I don't think she ever will because to her Shinji is like the son she never had and they've always connected on a level we didn't. I think even if the world was ending she'd always be there to push him along to wherever he needed to go." Rei looked up slightly. "That's true I think that's why I wanted to come here rather than there I just don't have that connection with Misato and sometimes I just feel so on the outside but I'm guessing its much worse for you hence why you don't visit."

Asuka leaned forward in her chair. "The only way I can describe my last year at Misato's before I moved out three years ago is to say I felt the loneliest I've ever felt, its why I stopped spending and saved for this place. I just wanted to get away, I just couldn't be there anymore I was just so unhappy all the time because whenever we argued she'd always bring up my mistakes with Shinji and it would get really heated. She was also so desperate for us to get back together and have another go at it but I didn't want to I knew it wouldn't work out and the past would just make it harder because there was so much abuse and anger between us.

"I just wanted us to stay friends as I had spent two long years trying to fix our ruined friendship because that was far more important to me and we'd finally come to an understanding and he had forgiven me. By that point Kaworu had moved in and I wasn't stupid I could see that your brother was becoming really good friends with him and I just wanted him to be happy."

Rei looked into her good eye watching as the other pulsed it patterns spinning. "I remember hearing a few of those arguments you were both at each others throats it was really brutal." Asuka looked at her for a long moment watching as Erika leap of her lap. "My life may not be perfect but I'm happy here now for the first time in a long time." Rei moved forward putting her hands on her face. "Then that makes two of us."

She leaned forward gently kissing her lips. "Would you like something to eat Asuka? I don't mind cooking for you I mean you cooked for me last night." Asuka looked up. "No I tried to cook I don't think I'll ever be as good as Shinji, he's such a natural." Rei raised her hand. "I disagree I enjoyed your cooking last night." Asuka breathed in deeply. "Yeah well once I realized you can eat seafood it made it so much easer as I can do something of a decent vegetable and fish stir-fry."

Anneberg eyes darted between them. "Is Rei moving in?" Asuka turned eyed him. "Anneberg you know I have talked about this to you, things don't just happen like that people need time." She paused raising her hand. "Plus don't bring up those websites about couples and outside child birthing chambers again." Anneberg raised an eyebrow. "But I want little Asuka's." Asuka shook her head. "No you wouldn't Anneberg they'd be a nightmare like me." Anneberg's question mark icon appeared. "But you're from an outside birthing chamber does a birthing chamber make you different from other children?"

Asuka looked at him for a long moment. "No look it's kind of hard to explain, Bardiel call it being manufactured, fake not being real like an impression of humanity but not really human, it just gets to me at times." Rei looked at her as she took hold of her hand. "Asuka you are not fake or some kind of impression, believe me." She slowly turned her hand around. "Just because you came out of a birthing chamber it doesn’t make you any less of a person, there's no difference between you and me we both feel pain and we both bleed we both have a soul."

She opening her hand running her fingers gently over her palm which was rough in places clearly from manual work and the fact that she tended to grip her Evangelion units controls much harder than any of them. "Tell me something is that why you don't like being called special because of the birthing chamber?" Asuka looked down sadly. "Yes and no, you see my mother used to call me special but it was for all of the wrong reasons. You see she hated the other child my stepfather had with another woman and she used to compare me to that girl saying I was better than that her and special even when that girl was in the same room. It really wasn't right I mean it must have really hurt her feelings and I can understand why she really didn't like me when I moved in but though I may speak ill of my step parents I can't speak ill of her she was a victim of circumstances we both were, we were both pawns in our parents petty games right from the start."

Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!

She breathed in deeply. "Also I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her, when I nearly drowned she jumped in after me she swam to the bottom of that lake and pulled me free when my leg was stuck and my step father punished us both even though she was saving me. With everything that had happened she could have let me drown we weren't even genetically related." She met Rei's gaze. "She was really brave and I'll never forget how sad she looked when I was taken away. I tried to track her down two years ago but nothing came up the house had been sold and there were no records in Germany they'd clearly moved country." Rei looked at her feeling a smile form. "I'm sure you'll find her one day Asuka." Asuka looked down slightly. "Maybe, I just have hope that she's still out there somewhere."

8

Rei felt her eyes snap open as a pounding at the door was heard she was lying on Asuka's chest and she had her arm wrapped around her they were both in their night clothes again the older woman wasn't awake she was deep in her dreams and didn't even move or flinch. She eyed the time seeing that it was two in the morning, she breathed in deeply hating that she had to do this as she sat up shaking her. "Asuka." Asuka half mumbled something in German which she couldn't understand she shook her slightly harder. "Asuka." She watched as the other woman's eyes snapped open darting around in confusion as she spoke in a sleepy voice as her left eye lit up from its dimmed state. "What?" Rei turned as the pounding sounded at the door again. "Someone is at your door."

Asuka eyed the time she felt a cold sneer form not again this was the second time this week she'd been woken up this early. "I swear to the verfickte gods who ever this is it, it had better be important!" She eased her self up watching as Rei got out of bed. "Because if it's not I'm going to hit someone!" She grabbed her keys adjusting her long t-shirt pushing her hair back as she walked down stairs to the door opening the lock watching as the metal screen shot up on the other side revealing Shinji who looked really anxious as he spoke. "I need to come in Asuka I need to talk to you?"

Asuka put her hand on her face as she sidestepped letting him in as she closed the door behind him locking it. "Really you needed to talk to me at two in the morning, couldn't it wait for tomorrow you know when we all get to sit around and do nothing but drink alcohol and celebrate because of Toji's big reveal show?" Shinji walked in seeing Rei who gave him a wave. "I thought you might be here Rei." Rei adjusted her pyjamas as she looked at him. "I like it here" Shinji felt a warm smile form. "I gathered." Asuka breathed in slowly and deeply. "Please take a seat what would you like tea, coffee a better wrist watch so you can read the time?"

Rei moved towards Asuka putting a hand gently on her arm. "Hey Asuka why don't you sit down with Shinji I know how to work your coffee maker and flip the attachments I'll get the drinks because you're very tired." Shinji moved towards the seats unsure which one to sit on as he knew full well that Asuka had always hated people sitting her favourite chair. "Asuka which chair should I sit in?" Asuka stretched slightly. "Just sit in the recliner…." Shinji turned looking at her in surprise. "Really?" Asuka eyed him. "Rei sits in it whenever she wants don't see why you shouldn't."

Shinji slowly sat down seeing Rei give him smile as she started the drinks off he turned back as Asuka who sat down on the sofa opposite he could see her left eye flashing and pulsing with bright blue patterns. "I had no idea your left eye was so colourful, does it change with your emotions?" Rei brought over a green tea passing it to him as she put her own on down the coffee table seeing that Asuka was trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes she was clearly really struggling with her focus.

She hoped that once she drank some coffee that she'd perk up she clearly wasn't a morning person and she got really cranky. "Yes it changes with her emotions it's fascinating and very beautiful." Asuka looked up as Rei passed her, her coffee she eyed her for a moment before speaking softly. "Thank you." Rei sat down opposite her watching as she started to drink. "You know this is kind of early even for you Shinji." She took a sip of her tea. "I mean you normally knock on my door if you're worried around five." Asuka looked up. "I would have preferred five or six I mean that's when I'm used to Bardiel harassing me and waking me up sometimes."

Shinji looked around him. "Is he here?" Asuka shook her head. "No he isn't he has taken to the hiding behind my eyes perspective since I tried to eat him last time when we met face to face during my coma." She paused looking at her coffee. "Really wish I'd verfickte finished the job too." Shinji looked up sharply. "You seriously tried to eat him?"

Asuka turned to him. "Didn't you have unit 01 eat Sachiel's S² Engine during our first battle when it was just you, me and Rei? I mean they said the act of doing so increased 01's power massively because you already had an S² Engine so and two couldn't co exist at the same time. So your unit's stomach churned it up and forced the raw power into every other body part and changed the crest horn and gave your unit claws, it's why you don't need beast mode like the rest of us because you're controlled berserk is so much more powerful."

Shinji raised his hand. "That's correct but I heard that your beast mode doesn't exist anymore either because your units change was so radical." Asuka looked up slightly. "Yeah but it's not the same it's just a change in appearance not power." Rei turned to her. "I disagree when we were fighting me during the display I had to work very hard against you just to keep you at bay." She took a sip of her tea. "And we have yet to see you take on the other units during training but I've heard that Kaji wants to test that." Shinji put his finished mug down. "I don't know about you but I think angel tastes awful all you taste is the acrid blood."

Asuka raised her eyebrow. "I don't know once you get past that it's more like badly burnt brisket, tastes better than custom vertical wing at least, I mean one of the power cores dropped out of that thing when I crushed it, right into unit 02's stomach and I swear I had indigestion for a while afterwards." Shinji felt a smile form. "Yeah but I saw the news feed everyone's laughing about it, they are also saying that you've developed a sense of humour though a rather dark one." Asuka smirked. "Yeah well they shouldn't have insulted you two you're the closest friends I have."

Rei moved a hand gently through her long red hair. "You should have told me about your indigestion Asuka I did wonder why you didn't eat much at lunch I would have made you some ginger tea." Asuka raised her hand. "It's not that big a deal Rei, I mean I've had worse from drinking too much." Shinji eyed Asuka. "I thought you chewed them up because of what they called you, I mean what they said was really cruel." Asuka shrugged. "Considering that in the past I've been called a violent, sociopath and a narcissistic it didn't bother me, I just hated the part about being a cripple." Rei eyed her she knew that wasn't the truth but she knew Asuka was just putting a brave face on it. "Well we know better and those things are just not true anymore." Asuka looked up giving her a sly smile. "I think the violent part is, it's just not misdirected anymore."

Shinji looked at his sister he wasn't stupid something was going on here he could tell by the way she was looking at Asuka she very rarely ever looked at anyone that way. Asuka turned to Shinji. "What did you need to speak to me about Shinji?" Shinji shifted a little. "Well its…it's about Kaworu." Asuka raised her hand. "Please if it's about getting my permission or something we've had this conversation before go ahead I don't mind I just want you to be happy so go be with him." Shinji leaned over. "No it's not that."

Asuka eyed him in confusion. "Then what is it?" Shinji breathed in deeply. "How do I ask him out how do I woo him also if its gets beyond that how do we you know….have sex?" Asuka turned staring at him in shock. "You're asking me?" Shinji looked at his hands. "I've tried asking Misato countless times but she always said to come to you but I haven't until now because I never knew how you'd react but things are different now you've changed."

He met her good eye. "Plus aren't you a LGBT icon, I mean how many times have you made the cover of those magazines over the years? The general press and media might not be very nice to you but those magazines love you I'm just surprised you don't own any of them." Asuka put her finished coffee mug down putting a hand on her face. "Oh believe me I own them." Rei turned looking at her in surprise. "You do, you always told Misato that you hated them."

Asuka slowly stood up stretching. "I lied because I didn't want her going through my stuff when I lived with her or for her to mock me over my feelings on women it's not like she understands how those kinds of feelings work even if she is very liberal about sex and sexuality." She moved towards the stairs. "Come with me both of you." She watched as they followed her up stairs she moved towards the computer room poking her head around. "Anneberg…Treppe in den Himmel!"

She turned as there was a click as a section of her bed underneath moved as a huge hidden draw made of metal came downwards and pushed itself forward. Its electronic sliding lock bolt came free as it opened revealing four rows of magazines all in order of year all in perfect condition along with books and many discs she walked in seeing Rei follow her, though Shinji stayed in the door way she turned looking at him. "Please don't stand in my bedroom doorway Shinji it reminds me to much of living with Misato."

Shinji put his hands in his pockets coming inside as he eyed her huge lock box. "Wow…you know that's an impressive collection." Asuka smiled as she turned to him. "Yeah and when you and Kaworu come out to the public you'll probably get one of your own." Rei eyed her she wanted to ask if they'd get one to but she wasn't going to ask in front of her brother. "Where did you even hide all of these when we lived together?"

Asuka kneeled down going through the discs. "They were all stored in a fake book that looked like a history book, since they are quite thin they compress well and you couldn't tell the difference and I never environed Misato looking at that book." Shinji raised his hand. "Wait so you mean every time I saw you reading that history book, you were reading these?" Asuka pulled out a disc and a rather thick book. "Yes."

She put the book on her side table as she raised the disc between her fingers so he could see it. "This contains a male guide to all sexual positions and how to please a male lover, it's a basic guide." She opened his shirt pocket putting it in. "Do not let Misato see you with this ever because believe me she found one of my other discs once and how to please women and it was a week of really lame comments." She eyed him. "You got that?"

Shinji nodded trying to hide his slight blush. "Yes." Asuka eased up the book eyeing Rei. "You can both share this if you want, don't worry its not about sex it's a book I found and its got these really nice dating stories in it, its even got recipes and ideas for how to ask people out and how to treat a partner." She turned it so they could see that the book was spilt in to three equal colour sections. "Purple is men taking out men, yellow is men and woman and green is women taking out women." She passed it to him. "Don't let Misato find this either." Shinji took the book from her hands. "Thank you Asuka." Asuka eyed him. "Well it's the least I can do since our romance wasn't the best thing in the world." Shinji looked at her for a long moment. "We talked about this a long time ago I forgave you remember?"

Asuka breathed in deeply tapping the lock box with her foot which caused it to instantly close and lock and then slowly pull back up under the bed clicking back in to place. "Yeah I know, doesn't mean I don't feel bad though." She breathed in deeply. "Look I don't mean to be rude but I'm really tired and I want to go back to sleep, your welcome to stay and sleep downstairs on my sofa, I can get you some blankets." Shinji raised a hand. "I'm not tired, you see sometimes I get up early to draw and paint before work it clears my head."

Rei eyed Asuka as she put a hand on her arm. "I'm not tired either but why don't you stay with us down stairs I mean you can sleep on your sofa next to me, we can dim the lights and talk quietly?" Asuka shrugged. "Sure." Rei followed Shinji downstairs hearing Asuka open a cupboard opposite the bathroom. Shinji sat slowly down in the recliner eyeing the book as Rei sat on the sofa opposite. He spoke keeping his voice as low as possible. "Are you two together?" Rei looked up stairs hearing Asuka pull out some blankets from the cupboard she gave him a very slow nod watching as the surprise appeared on his face.

She slowly raised her hand. "Do not let anyone at Nerv know…you know how crazy it's going to get once it gets out, I mean she's had years of unfair predatory rumours against her with regards to me and I think it's going to be hard for her when it comes out, underneath she's so self conscious, afraid and her self esteem is very low."

Shinji leaned over taking her hand. "I'm really happy for you Rei I mean she's always loved you." Rei eyed her. "You were right though I mean when you said she had a good heart I just never saw it until now and I just fell in love with her once she showed it to me in private." They both turned as Asuka came into the room she really was struggling again and she looked half asleep she moved over to other side of the sofa laying on it so her back was to them as she pulled a blanket over herself as she half curled up putting her head on the large cushion she spoke very quietly. "Wake me again…at seven."

Rei watched as she closed her eyes the colours in the left one not dimming though even as it shut as she shifted a little fading off in to her dreams. Shinji leaned forward in the recliner speaking quietly. "She's wasn't joking she is really tired." Rei leaned over pulling the blanket further over the other woman's shoulders as she stroked her hair. "It's everything it's Bardiel the therapy it's so much." She paused before speaking sadly. "Did you know that she doesn't even find herself attractive anymore?" Shinji looked at Rei. "That's crazy she's beautiful." He raised his hand. "Is it the accident I mean loosing her sight and her stomach wound that's caused this?" Rei carried on stroking Asuka's hair seeing her fingers move a little in her sleep. "In part but she said she started to feel this way after Shamshel."

Shinji looked at her for a long moment. "Wait I remember something about this but I didn't realize it was that I mean when she got out of the hospital she just wasn't right she was so quite and she kept on staring at her hands. Then I walked in on her the next day and she had smashed up one of the wreck room sink mirrors I mean she hit it so hard that it left a bloody print because she made her knuckles bleed. She ended the relationship that same night it was so sudden like a switch had gone off in her brain and she was all over the place emotionally and she just wouldn't talk to me. Then everything changed it was real drastic and sudden I never saw her in a dress again and she never ever wore her interface hair clips ether. I mean to be fair I know she prefers the clothing she wears now I think that's who she really is but clearly her confidence in herself never recovered she just put up the front to everyone so we had assumed it had. It also explains why our therapy together never worked if she was that low. I was ready and I wanted change in my self she was suddenly finding out who she really was and hated herself and wanted to change but couldn't do it at that point through therapy."

Rei eyed him. "Therapy's hard I remember mine after Gaghiel which happened two years ago, I mean he managed to half swallow me and I couldn't get out and it got so hot in his throat it felt like I was being cooked alive. Even when they dragged me out I had to go to hospital for second degree burns and I spent two weeks with a bandaged right eye, plastered right arm and left wrist and stomach. I was such a mess emotionally I was very lucky all burns were caught just in time and apart from a miner one on my stomach and shoulder they all healed up."

Shinji eyed Asuka. "Asuka was the one who dived in to save you, the woman hates open and deep water even in her Evangelion, I pried open that thing's jaws while she grabbed your units legs enough to pull you out fully and once you were free Kaworu took the kill shot by ramming a pile of N2 rockets down its throat." Rei tuned eyeing Asuka as a moment of guilt struck her as a memory came flooding back as she put a hand on her face. "When I was out of hospital she asked how I was everyday, I didn't know why she was doing it I thought she had an creepy altar motive and I told her to go away and just leave me alone, I never even thanked her for saving my life."

She breathed in sadly. "She must have felt so crushed because she was trying so hard and I didn't notice or care just like everyone else and her saving me just caused all those rumours about her being a predatory creep to surface all over again and like an idiot I listened to them." Shinji paused before speaking. "I said thank you to her for saving you but I got no reaction she just ignored me." He looked down sadly. "I just assumed that she just wanted to be left alone." Rei looked at Asuka sadly. "She was probably in so much pain at the time and that was one of the things she said to me when she cried in the bay. That no matter what she does nothing ever changes and that she's expendable and that no one wants her and she always ends up alone."

She put her hands together. "Some of that was the past pain coming out but it just made me so sad." She met his concerned gaze. "If it's the last thing I ever do I'm going to make Nerv see who she really is because after seeing all this and hearing all this and finding out what she's really like I believe everyone else should see it to. I mean every time I hear some of them talk about her now it's really negative and it makes me so mad." She looked down sadly. "Now I understand why you defended her even when others didn't to start with even after you both spilt up."

Shinji breathed in deeply. "It's like I said to you before she had fleeting moments and it was so nice but then it'd get lost and the anger and rage would come back, I agree with her though we shouldn't have gotten together and we did it because it was expected of us and because it was what everyone at Nerv wanted. We didn't love each other and we both had far to many problems and I believe even then her heart belonged to you, not to me but I couldn't tell you that at the time because you two had, had such a turbulent history." Rei looked down slightly. "To be fair I wouldn't have believed you anyway and I spent most of my life up till now ignoring her, even when she was being nice. That's my fault though I let past events cloud my judgements it's something I will never ever do again as long as I live."

Shinji felt a smile form. "Then let's work at this together even more so where Misato is concerned because she has never really given Asuka a second chance after what happened between us." Rei eyed him. "Did you believe any of those stories about Hikari you know about her hurting her in bed?" Shinji shook his head. "To be fair I didn't know for sure, because of what happened between us though I agreed with you on the day that her behaviour was different a part of me still didn't quite believe her just like you I was still hung up on that part of our past and how she behaved. After everything that's happened recently I just wish I'd defended her on the day and not the interview."

Rei eyed him as Erika jumped on the sofa arm next to her. "That makes two of us." She looked him straight in the eyes. "We've gone to bed together we have not slept together as of yet but I will tell you this Shinji she has been nothing but gentle and loving with me if anything the old Asuka's who hurt you is long gone and I know she could overpower me if she wanted to. Bardiel has affected her strength and if anything he made her so much stronger yet all she wants to do is control that strength and keep it under wraps."

Shinji breathed in deeply. "When her teeth change does it scare you?" Rei moving her hand to stroke Erika's head listening as the little cat started to purr. "No because Bardiel's the one who caused that change along with her strength. He's just trying to make a monster where one doesn't exist and believe me when I look in her eyes I can see its her but when Bardiel took over her that was really terrifying and he made my skin crawl he was awful and the way he messed with her face made me shiver, you could just tell that it wasn't her."

She looked up meeting his gaze as something occurred to her. "When I was that close to him I couldn't smell sunflowers anymore and she always smells of sunflowers it comes from the LCL." She watched as Asuka turned over in her sleep still not waking up as she was so deep her dreams. "I just want him out of her brain he's such a vile, disgusting parasite." Shinji put his hand on the recliner arm. "They're going to get him out Rei they just need time."

Rei looked up as Erika moved starting to knead getting ready to settle down in her lap. "That's what worries me is there going to come a point where he gets bored and tries to take over her for good I can't stand the thought of loosing her now and are any of us ever going to find out what his end game is? Because he's clearly sticking around for as long as possible to make it happen he hasn't given up by a long shot."

End of part 36

Silvermoonlight