WAYWARD CLIMB BACK TO THE SURFACE

Misato watched as Asuka finished filling out the final part of the statement she was being very quite they'd taken the hunting knife away and it was clear that she had been happy to see it go, it clearly gave her no joy and was a huge burden on her shoulders. The others had given their statements and Armistead and Haru had given her their contact details just in case she needed to get back to them she paused before speaking. "Asuka, why do you build bikes?"

Asuka carried in writing knowing it was in German though the police had said that wouldn't be an issue and they could retranslate no problem as there computer could fix it. "I enjoy creating things." Misato looked at her. "But why create when you can buy them?" Asuka looked at her statement rereading it a second time. "I like everything to be my own and created through my own efforts I don't like short cuts. It has nothing to do with ego, or a desire to be better than others or to stand out."

Misato adjusted her leather jacket. "Why did you tweak Rei's bike, I know you made it go faster and you outfitted it?" Asuka turned slightly. "Because I love her I also feel that she should have nice things so when I see her with something that she wants made better, I fix it." Misato felt a smile form. "I've heard you've been doing this for years, even though your efforts went unnoticed."

Asuka looked at her as she passed her statement through the slot where the police woman took it on the other side. "So long as she was happy I never cared that she didn't notice." Misato put a hand on her face knowing this was a difficult question. "Have you two slept together yet?" Asuka eyed her. "If by sleeping you mean love making no we haven't though we do sleep together, why are you curious?"

Misato looked up sharply that was a surprise Asuka normally used the term sex not the latter term. "I wondered if Bardiel is making it hard for you, I know he knocked out your ability to feel sexual desire." She raised her hand. "You know maybe Maya and myself can find a way to get it turned back on, so you can enjoy your life." Asuka looked at her for a long moment. "You misunderstand, I don't want help and I don't want it turned back on through some kind of medication. For the first time in my whole life I'm experiencing love in its purest form without the physical and it's better than I could have ever imagined."

She looked at her hand. "I have spent half my life thinking that love was equal to sex and it's not they are different emotions and they feel very different, so please there's no need to fix me I would rather the day that I get that desire back it's because I did it on my own."

Misato leaned forward. "Yeah but doesn't that bother Rei?" Asuka shook her head. "No because her sexuality means that the physical is not everything to her, personally I believe she's an off branch of bisexuality that includes asexuality but her sexuality is her own to define its not for me to define and maybe you should ask her about her own opinions on the matter because I gave her book to read so she could study her own sexuality more."

She tensed sharply. "The only issue though that I have with Bardiel is he wants to experience love making if you will and wants to take over me while I do it but I have made it clear that I'd kill him if he tried and I don't know why he's asking since he knocked out my sexual drive it's really strange." She breathed in deeply. "Maybe it's that desperate desire to experience what he can't have since angels are technically alone but there like family with brothers and sisters but they can't create more of themselves and humans can and I think it bothers them maybe there jealous and its one of the reasons they want to destroy us. Though my self and Rei can't have children through sexual experience so maybe it's the physical and emotional experience Bardiel craves so badly."

She pushed her red hair back. "Either way though he's not going to get what he wants, I hate threesomes and third wheels I've never been interested in that crap."

Misato looked at her for a long moment she had memories of speaking with a shallow egotistic child and an angry, volatile eighteen year old but she was talking to neither of those people now but someone completely different. "Why don't you wear your interface hair clips anymore Asuka?" Asuka looked at her. "It was because I didn't want to be noticed and I wanted to fade away in the background but I guess that backfired since I have to wear a patch now and I just stand out again like a sore thumb, still not going to put those clips back on though I prefer my work and home life to be separate." Misato eyed her. "You could not wear that patch at all."

Asuka shook her head. "Yeah but then I'd just have way too many questions about my eye looking like a glowing neon light." She tapped her motorcycle boot on the floor. "I only ever take it off at home." Misato paused before speaking. "I heard that you sent the money I had put back in your account to the children's ward concerning abuse and neglect. I was surprised I though you might splash out go on holiday, like you used to do when you were sixteen."

Asuka looked at her for a long moment. "I could go on holiday ten times a year if I wanted but money has very little meaning to me anymore and I spent so many wasted years of my life splashing out on expensive things only to find that it never made me happy. Because I did for the attention of others not for myself I wanted people to like me through my money and the truth is I didn't know who I was anyway and I had to find that out and now I only spend it on what I want and like and I know who I am and who I want to be."

She raised her hand. "Its also nice to have someone to share that with, though I know Rei has her own money and I know like me she has vast savings its just nice to buy her meals or be in her company." She turned slightly. "As for the children I give the ward money because I know how hard growing up is and they shouldn't have it any harder because they have been abused and neglected and it's not fair."

She breathed in sadly. "Plus what kid wants to be in a hospital ward anyway? Being in one even if your visiting is awful, I should know, I spent almost half a year visiting my mother when she lost her mind and I hated it so much." She turned seeing Rei appear there was a little kid trailing behind her along with her father not that, that really surprised her Rei was great with kids so was Shinji she was the one who sucked at it.

Rei gave her a smile. "Asuka this is Iris her and her father they just wanted to say hello." Asuka stopped realizing that she was looking at the same kid who had been on the train weeks ago she watched as the young girls mind clicked as she recognised her as she spoke in an unimpressed voice. "I remember you from the train, wait you said you weren't the second child you told a lie!" Asuka stood up moving over to her kneeling down in front of her. "Yeah I'm sorry about that, you see I'd just got this new eye patch and I was going through some things but I'm feeling much better now."

She ignored Rei's surprise. "So why are you here?" The girl spoke sadly. "Someone stole my push bike, my dad was reporting it." Asuka looked at her as she pulled her wallet out. "You know that's not right." She eased out a chunk of money taking her small hand putting it in. "You should go buy yourself a better one and between you and me I've had things stolen it's not nice." She put her wallet away. "Would you like to see something really cool?"

The girl looked up the curiosity in her eyes. "Yes please." Asuka eased her eye patch up feeling her left eye ignite a little. "Just in case you were wondering what's underneath." The girl looked at her. "Is that a robotic eye?" Asuka pulled her patch down. "No it's a real eye it's just a little different." The girl looked up. "They said in the news that you were blind in that eye."

Asuka tapped her patch. "I am blind in this eye yes but this eye doesn't see anymore it feels it's like a window in to my soul, that's why it glows." The girl looked up a smile appearing on her face. "Thank you for the money." Asuka gave her a wide smile. "Your welcome." The girl's father stepped forward as she stood up. "You know you didn't have to do that, you don't even know us."

Asuka looked at him for a long moment. "Really it's no trouble and like I said before it's not nice to have things stolen it happened to me once and it was really awful." The bearded man shook his head as his daughter hugged up against his leg. "Screw the media for painting you as cold, unfeeling, selfish woman all these years because your clearly not." Asuka breathed in deeply. "No to be fair I was once like that, I'm just not that person anymore I grew up and changed because I wanted to be a better person."

She adjusted her jacket. "Its just they've failed to notice up until recently." The man leaned over shaking her hand. "Well either way I really appreciate the gesture." Asuka watched as the big man stepped away from them picked up his daughter and putting her on his shoulders. "Come on tyke let's go buy you a new bike." He raised his hand giving them a wave. "Hope to see you around." Asuka waved back as they vanished from sight she turned seeing that Rei and Misato were just staring at her in shock. "What?!"

Rei moved to stand in front of her. "That was really nice Asuka what you just did it meant the world to that little girl." Misato stood up looking at her. "You told me many times that you're terrible with kids now you go and do that." Asuka tensed slightly. "I am terrible with kids, I just try my best." Misato moved towards her. "Your best in that you're really nice to them and give them money for stolen things."

Asuka rolled her good eye. "We met on the train ages ago, I lied to her that I wasn't the second child I was making it up to her, it wasn't a great day for me back then it was the day I came in late and I had a hangover and I'd been told that I was blind in the left eye." Rei felt a sly smile form. "Yeah well around the corner she was telling me that she thought she saw the second child once but it was just a look a like but this look a like was still very nice to her and gave her a can of drink and told her all about this girl she really liked but wasn't good enough for and that the patch was a gift from her."

She raised her hand slightly. "That's why I brought her around here because after meeting me she thought she was going to meet the real second child but clearly you two had already met." Asuka felt a nervous smile form. "She did?" Rei put her hand on hers. "Oh yes." Asuka looked down slightly. "It was just how I felt at the time." Misato put her hand around Asuka's shoulder feeling a wide grin form. "You know since you're such a soft touch with kid's maybe you should visit that ward for abuse and neglect since you've been donating to it for so long."

She looked at her. "Because I'm sure they'd love a visit from you in person." Asuka swallowed she was feeling really nervous now. "No you don't understand I can handle them on a one on one basis, I'm verfickte terrible with them in groups." Misato eyed Rei. "You can go with Rei then because unlike the others you haven't done any function visits in three years plus you need an art book and tomorrow you will have your new photos done." She raised her hand. "Not to mention that the press conference is coming up as I mentioned before."

Asuka breathed in deeply as she spoke feeling her teeth grind together as she punctuated her next words. "I'm not going to that." Misato looked at her. "Come on please, I'm begging you to go this you have to be there, you cannot not be there not after what happened in Australia." Asuka eyed her in annoyance. "Oh you mean the part where I smashed into a sacred aboriginal holy ground which is a tourist attraction yeah I'm sure everyone will get a great laugh out of that along with the part where half of 02's face plate fell off!"

Misato rolled her eyes gods some things never changed Asuka could be such a stubborn woman at times. "No I referring to your art in visitor centre, you saving Rei from being hit by an N2 missile and fighting Bukavac and helping the other's really damage it." She breathed in deeply. "When you get back to work tomorrow Maya is dying to know what you did when you inserted 02's tails in to the entry plugs, because she said that your brain waves changed its like they over lapping with Hikari's but it was clear you weren't memory sharing but you were sharing something else and it was hurting her. She never got a chance to ask you as you were so rattled up and you even said that the pain you caused Hikari didn't make you feel better, despite what she did to you."

She raised her hand. "The world needs to hear you say that." She turned looking at Rei. "Also your relationship is massive news and the media centre are starting to get really frustrated now because they are getting constant calls from people wanting interviews with you and I've heard that those who have tried to e-mail your home you've just had Anneberg politely tell them to go away along with Nerv staff who want to talk to you." She looked up meeting her good eye. "Look I know things have not been good between us I know you have every reason not to trust me because of what's happened between us in the past but I really want the world to see you for who you really are now."

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She turned to Rei. "You agree with me don't you Rei that they should see Asuka and you together at the conference?" Rei looked at Asuka as Misato pulled back leaning against the wall she eased up her hand putting it on the other woman's white t-shirt near her collar close to were her pendant was. "I think you should go Asuka because I'd like you to be there with me." She eased up her other hand gently running it through the Asuka's long red hair. "I know you're nervous, I know this is going to be very hard for you because you've been away from the spot light for so long but I'll be sitting next to you the whole time, you'll have nothing to fear."

Misato put her hands in her pockets. "Yes you'll be seated next to Rei and we intended to put Shinji and Kaworu together seat wise as well and Toji and Mari who will be opposite each other. It will be a completely different than before and I know you're having difficulty with Mari so she'll be seated right at the far end away from you, because we don't want friction between you two and she knows the rules she's only allowed to leave her sofa chair when the interview is over."

Asuka looked up slightly. "That doesn't mean much since I've stormed off more than once in my teens looking back now it was just embarrassing along with hitting presenters and being a stupid crazy asshole." Rei looked at her. "But your not that person anymore Asuka you have nothing to fear." Asuka looked at her a long moment before speaking. "I'll only come under the condition that I get to take you some place nice afterwards because I find interviews really verfickte stressful."

Rei gave a smile taking hold her hand. "Okay I'm sure we can work on that." Misato took in a deep breath letting it out slowly Rei had actuality done the one thing she knew she'd never be able to do and she would thank her for this in any way she could when she got the chance.

She moved forward raising her hand. "I'll be seated with you in person I know you haven't been to these for the last three years but Kaji and the others agreed that my real presence was better for the public and that they'd get to see to see how I interact with you all it also means if anything starts up I can silence it, before it gets out of hand."

Asuka looked up slightly. "What if I verfickte screw this up, what if they make a mockery off me? I couldn't take that a second time it hurt so much the first time around and it was just so stressful." Misato looked at her seeing that once again that her low self esteem was showing through. "You are going to be fine Asuka, believe me we are going to stand by you this time I promise you that."

Rei looked at the other woman who once more had that innocent and uncertain look in her good eye. "We'll be together Asuka my seat will be right next to yours and I will defend you, because if half of the people out there see what I see they will really like who you are now." She gently wrapped her arms around her pulling her close. "You should also bring some of your art with you on your digital scroll you know just in case they want to question it. Because then you can draw live on screen in front of everyone and there will be no question that it's yours and they'll bring out some of Shinji's art canvas's so you'll have them side by side."

8

Rei leaned back in Asuka's recliner looking over at her she next to her on the sofa drawing something they'd gotten back not long ago and they had both wanted to relax. They had taken there leathers and helmets off which were now airing in the garage and they were now in there casual clothes though nether of them had bothered putting back on there shoes and socks. Misato had left them and gone back to work and she said that they could take the rest off the day off no issue so long as they came in tomorrow.

She eyed the menu list of films and TV series on Asuka's flat screen seeing a list which she hadn't noticed before "Asuka what is the list that's in both Japanese and German?" Asuka looked up slightly. "That's the videos my grandma gave me of my mother." Rei blinked in surprise. "Really can I watch one? Its just I've never seen your mother other than in photos."

Asuka eyed the list. "Sure, just please don't play number four that's me in my birth chamber and it makes me cry every time I watch it." She looked up slightly. "Also they'll be speaking German so it might be hard to understand in places, though there is the odd switch to Japanese, since there are few films in here with Kiko your aunt though they are just talking together. Sadly I have none of Yui if I had found any of her I would have given you and Shinji copies right away and I did double check."

She eased up her hand. "Number six is quite interesting they're putting the plating on 02 and Kiko is with my mama." Rei looked up at the flat screen seeing Asuka go back to her drawing. "Play six." She watched as the video turned on seeing the German divisions building bay came in to view as the camera panned out and she could see 02 in its half built phase where like all Evangelion's it looked rather hideous as its real body was showing through as not all of the plating had been put on yet.

The camera panned closer going deep in to its face which had four eyes which were all orange and brown and its human like gums and teeth could be seen. Though in the present it looked so different with its larger more elaborate crest and massive set of jaws and upwards facing sabres. She could see the workers slowly moving over the massive red upper face plate section which had no crest getting ready to lock it in to place.

She watched as a green eyed woman with long blonde hair appeared in a lab coat in front of the camera she spoke in a soft voice which was very playful. "This is a big day we are finally putting on 02's face plate and covering up its ugly face." She paused looking down at the bay. "Ugly I guess being an unfair word, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Rei turned to Asuka. "Your mother was very beautiful."

Asuka didn't look up from her drawing though she did smile as she spoke. "Yeah she was, that's how I remember her before the accident." Rei turned back watching as her aunt Kiko suddenly appeared she had light brown hair like her mother but it was very long and tailed back she had dark brown eyes just like Shinji and she was wearing a lab coat though she was slightly smaller than Asuka's mother and slender in her build, Kyoko spoke again. "Ah yes and this is Kiko she's been helping me with the project she's come all the way over from Japan to overlook the final construction."

Kiko looked up speaking. "Yeah well you know my very good friend Kyoko here was desperate for me to come over so she can buy me cheap German beer." Kyoko raised an eyebrow looking at the camera. "I don't recall the desperate part but I will say your company was needed, because we can't build this living god without your help." Kiko eyed her for a long moment. "Oh so it's a living god now yesterday it was the ugly fucking bastard." Kyoko looked at her smirking. "Oh come on it has a face only a mother could love." Kiko smiled slightly. "Well I'm not a mother so I wouldn't know but we all know you are, where is your little girl anyway?"

Kyoko's smiled widened. "Oh she's just playing in my office with my mother I'll start bringing her down here once we've got all of the plating on I mean the sight of this thing might give her nightmares right now." Kiko looked up. "Well when we get a moment I'd like to see her again." Kyoko smirked. "Well you know my little red haired bundle of joy she'll love you visiting." She nudged her. "Just remember to bring her a milkshake one of those caramel flavoured ones in small size, she'll appreciate the gesture."

Kiko rolled her eyes playfully. "Children and their love of sweet things." Kyoko leaned over grabbing her shoulder. "You can so tell she doesn't have kids right?" Kiko pushed her off playfully. "Oh that's fine I can just borrow yours, I mean Yui's way too protective of Rei and Shinji anyway its not like I ever get a look in."

Kyoko leaned into the camera licking one her canine teeth as she spoke. "Hear that she wants to borrow mine, she's terrible I'll never know how we are such good friends with all the kid stealing." Kiko eyed her as she laughed. "You're terrible you know, if your daughters grows up to be anything like you we are all doomed." Rei stared at the video for a long moment as it ended realizing something Asuka's trait of licking one of her canine teeth came from her mother. She looked up as something hit her unit 02 had done the same thing before it had shut down that day Asuka had gone in to the Obrax.

The Evangelion's were not programmed with emotions they were meant to just be a partial AI personality but in its very basic form because the pilots brave waves had full control over movement so why had 02 done that? On top of that, why were its eyes now green and yellow and no longer orange and brown, because that was beyond weird granted 02 had changed massively but why had the eyes been affected?

They served no purpose other than act as the window to the outside world and they were covered with glass plating to protect the real eye. She eyed the flat screen before turning to Asuka who was still quietly drawing. "Asuka do you think the Evangelion's are alive?" Asuka looked up slightly. "I know they're not machines I know they have a partial AI governing them but I don't know if it's alive, though I don't discount the possibility I mean you can argue that Anneberg isn't real but to me he's real."

Rei breathed in deeply. "I ask because the other day when you were having it out at Misato I saw your unit's real eyes looking at me and I swear it carried on staring knowing I'd seen it looking before its eyes went back into place." Asuka sat up looking at for a long moment. "Wait that is not possible, I wasn't in it the S² Engine was shut off, they can't move without power and I heard the twitch is a program error."

Rei stood up walking over to the couch as she leaned forward looking her straight in the eyes. "I saw it Asuka it was looking right at me." Asuka breathed as she looked up meeting the other woman's gaze directly. "Please don't misunderstand I wasn't calling you a liar Rei, I just find that whole idea verfickte weird because that's not a twitch that's a purposely aimed movement."

Rei looked at her as she spoke. "I think those Evangelion's are alive Asuka and I don't think its to do with the partial AI acting up I think its something else and your unit seems to be acting much more alive than the others its like its imitating you. I mean the day it went crazy and broke free before it shut down it licked one of its canine teeth just like you always do, not to mention that it roared at Ritsuko like it really didn't like her."

Asuka slowly put her digital scroll on the coffee table. "Who likes Ritsuko Anyway? If I were an Evangelion I wouldn't want her poking and prodding my software since she treats AI likes it's a tool, it disgusts me." Rei looked at her for a long moment. "You really don't like AI being used like a slave I remember you telling Mari that, that was cruel."

Asuka moved as the younger woman sat down next to her. "Maybe it's just me but I brought Anneberg from the Arcade three years ago, it's nothing special anyone can buy AI learning personalities granted their expensive but they are common place. When I installed him in the beginning I just wanted to get jobs done I didn't really talk to him much, then one time he started complaining like any child would and asked why was he there and what was his purpose?"

She looked at her hands. "You know that day I was pissed and almost just slammed the slave parameters up but then I just felt really verfickte bad, I realized that he was questioning the world like everyone else and I was going to lock his parameters because I thought it was convenient for me I mean who was I to take away his freedom?"

She breathed in deeply. "So after that day I started bringing him up right I spoke to him played with him in games and tried to teach him right from wrong that's why I unlocked Mari's slave parameters because to me what she was doing was slavery. It's stupid I know most people wouldn't care but I consider Anneberg my friend and I don't care that to some he's not real. Because to me he is real and as he got older and learnt more I found he was someone I could talk to because I had no one at the time."

She looked up slightly. "I know most people would call that pathetic and sad, but to me he means the world and I know every day I can walk out that door and my computer would be safe and he'll protect my other things like my phone, digital scroll and VR helmet from attacks." She raised her hand. "That was why I brought him to start with because after the thing with Hikari became public my computer got masses of hate mail both through e-mail and through my letter box and my computer got hacked at least twice and the stress was really getting to me."

She looked up slightly. "I just couldn't hide away in peace, maybe that's why I fear the press conference so much because I just keep thinking that if I screw it up I'll have to deal with this all over again." Rei shifted a little closer. "I don't think it's pathetic I really like Anneberg and it's nice that you think that way, it's what's makes you different from Mari, I always get annoyed when people say you're the same because to me you couldn't be more different."

Asuka breathed in deeply. "Mari just has problems, the only way I see her as similar to me is in her desire for expensive things, everything with her is her trying to live out a lavish life just like I used to but I don't think it's all about attention like me. I think the cause is different like she's trying to fulfil some other desire and I think like me she's been really lonely and depressed and wants more friends but because of her problems she's just lashing out and pushing everyone away." She looked down sadly. "I just want her to get better, because I know where she is right now and it's not a fun place to be."

Rei moved easing herself in to Asuka's lap. "You're trying to help her and maybe she'll see that soon." She eased up her hand putting it on Asuka's face. "In the meantime though please don't worry about the press conference they don't have a live studio audience anymore it will be just us the chairs and the co-hosts along with Misato."

She eased her other hand putting it on Asuka's t-shirt as she leaned closer. "Beside you're Asuka Langley Soryu, you don't take rubbish from anyone right? I mean I can't tell you how many times myself and Shinji have laughed at your come backs over the years to presenters because you don't take anything they throw at you lying down." Asuka looked at her. "That was a long time ago Rei I was different throwing insults was part of my ego I don't see myself doing that now."

Rei leaned forward gently kissing her lips. "Then you'll just be answering honest questions both are fine, so long as you are yourself it doesn't matter." Asuka pulled her closer. "You're very kind to me." Rei looked at her speaking in a playfully tone. "That's because I love, you idiot." Asuka eyed her feeling a toothy grin form. "Oh now look who is using my outdated lines on me, well I did not see that coming are you going to use my swear words next?" Rei shook her head. "No and it's not like I'd ever get your accent right anyway as my German is terrible."

End of part 45

Silvermoonlight