Somewhere, West Virginia, USA.

Clive groaned as he woke up from his cot. The halflings had provided him a tent of his own, while they were comfortable for them, it was a bit too cozy for his size. Not only that, most of his stuff didn't fit so was placed around the outside of his tent.

The cot he was on was also a tad too small for him as well. His feet dangled over the bottom and his arms easily touched the ground. He had been tempted just to sleep on the ground with a blanket rather than try and come up with some weird yoga position that would allow him to get some sleep.

He stretched his kinked and sore muscles as he crouched out of his tent with his toiletries. Then he realized a problem.

There wasn't any plumbing yet.

All of the homes were still little more than plans, though some foundations were being made. So everyone was still living in tent homes for the near future, and that included him.

He groaned as he came to the reality that he would have to do his business in the woods and made for an out of sight bush that he hoped wasn't poisonous.

After going #2 in the woods, and almost freezing his bits off from the chill fall air, he made his way for the river to clean up. He stood at the bank of the now alive river, there weren't any fish after being dry for so long. Maybe he could talk to the Town Council about getting a delivery of aqua life to fill up the lake and river again.

Clive looked around to make sure he was alone before groaning as he stripped down to his birthday suit and got into the freezing water.

"Think warm thoughts Clive. Summer, sand, heater."

Mentally it helped. Physically it didn't as he was still freezing. He would just have to be quick with his wilderness bath. While he had changed out of his bloody clothes from last night, he still had some of Morty's blood on him.

So he dunked himself down into the cold water and came back up with a hiss of his breath.

"Well well well, wha' a handsomely rugged view!"

Clive turned towards the voice and found the thotling that was practically dry humping him at the party after dealing with the giant. She was looking at him like he was next up on the meat hook.

"Morning. I don't believe I got your name last time we, 'met'?"

"Oh how rude o' me! But I did 'ave a lot on my mind at tha time! My name is Caroline Longfellow! Though you can call me Carrie!" She purred.

"Well, good morning Mrs. Longfellow!" Clive said, being polite but not daring to seem too friendly with the maneater. He was just glad that the water covered his important bits from view!

"Mmmm yes, a VERY good mornin'!"

"Well, I shouldn't take up more of your time! I'll still be here for a bit!" Clive said, though he hoped she would leave soon other wise he was going to get hypothermia!

"That's ok! I don't 'ave much ta do other than enjoyin' this exotic view!" She said as she unfolded a warm looking fur coat and wrapped herself up snuggly in it as she continued to watch Clive.

"Damn it!" Clive hissed a whisper as he noticed she was also standing next to his clothes! So he had two choices! 1. Stay in the freezing water and hope to outlast her. 2. Swallow his pride and give her the "view" she wants and, quickly, dress.

The way she was looking at him he was tempted to let the cold take him. He groaned as he washed himself for a minute more, hopeful she would leave and crestfallen when she just stood there watching still.

So he swallowed his pride and strode out of the freezing water. Eliciting a lustful moan of the thotling as she bit her lip in excitement.

"You know, we were rudely interrupted last time 'fore we could become familiar with one another."

She stalked towards Clive as he hurried to dress, his numb hands making it harder. He was, almost, grateful when she ran a soft warm hand on his skin.

"Now tha' we're all alone, we could continue! You can even share my coat 'ere with me! Then we can be even cozier!"

"Darlin'?! Darlin! There you are!" A voice came over the bank of the river as her husband waddled over. Mrs. Longfellow groaned as she turned towards her concerned husband.

"Wha' is it?!" She hissed, the distraction giving Clive time to get most of his clothes back on.

"Well, I was worried fer you! Can't a husband do tha' fer his wife?" He asked as he wobbled over.

"As you can see, I was just offerin' Clive here somethin' nice and warm to slip into." She purred and winked at Clive. The fatling either didn't notice, care, or know about the obvious hint as he just placed his arm around his wife's shoulder with a smile.

"Tha's my wife! Always bein' kind ta others!" He beamed at her before turning to Clive as if he just noticed him.

"Ah! Clive, its wonderful ta see you! 'Ow are you findin' our lil home so far?"

"I-i-its a b-b-bit b-b-breezier th-th-than I'm u-u-used to!" Clive stuttered as the cold from the river and chill wind froze his body, making his teeth start to chatter.

The lardling beamed with pride.

"Just wait 'till we get our homes built! You'll NE'ER find somthin' more comfortable than a halflin' hole!"

He has to be in on it, Clive thought.

"But wha' in tha seven hells is you doin' out 'ere?"

"B-b-b-bathing!" Clive chattered.

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"By tha Harvest Mother lad! Why didnae you just use tha bath?!"

"W-w-w-what b-b-b-bath?!" Clive stammered.

The quarter pounder with legs led Clive towards where the bath is, his wife taking the quick chance for privacy to fawn over the chilled Clive.

"This bath!" He said as they reached a clearing not far from the "party tent", another tent had been pulled up and inside was a wide wooden tub, it looked more like something you would use to mash grapes into wine with. By the sight of the spigot on the side Clive could guess that's exactly what it was. It sat on a platform while a fire burned below it, heating up the water on top. They were far enough apart that the water was nice and warm instead of scalding hot.

Clive watched as about 5 other halflings, men, women, and children stripped nekked before they entered the, apparently communal, bath. Even Mrs. Longfellow gave him a stripshow before, slowly, entering the warm bath herself. Giving a "come here" gesture with her finger.

"Tha bath always gets 'er in a mood!"

Yeah, he could tell, Clive thought. While the warm bath looked welcoming, it looked a little too welcoming. Maybe he would sneak in later when it wasn't quite so busy and had a maneater lurking about in the waters!

"W-w-w-well I sh-sh-shouldn't k-k-k-keep you from y-y-your affectionate wife!" Clive said as he backed away and made for one of the many small fires around camp, meant to keep the cold away.

He found one a sufficiently safe distance away from the lustful halfling and warmed himself up, unmolested this time.

After narrowly avoiding nymphothermia he got dressed and ready for work. Running into Hamish on his way to his car.

"Mornin' Clive!"

"Morning Hamish. Hey, why didn't you tell me you guys had a bath?!" Clive accused.

Hamish laughed.

"Well o' course we 'ave a bath! Wha' did you expect? Tha' we went around caked in dirt like animals? Or, Mother forbid, tha' we took a dip in tha cold river?!"

"Well, what about an outhouse?"

Hamish led Clive around the back of the "bath tent" where stood 6 outhouses. One even looked like it had been built to accommodate him.

"We ain't savages Clive! We're halflin's!"

Clive just turned red from embarrassment and shame. He shit in the woods, almost got hypothermia, and molested by a 3ft short walking STD for NOTHING?! Clive just left speechless as he got in his car. Hamish's calls going unanswered as he drove away to work.

Hamish chuckled as he watched Clive drive away before making his way back to his own tent and family.

"No baths or outhouses, Ha!"

Clive drove through town on his way to work. He was debating whether to maybe get a hotel room to avoid the over-friendly halflings. But he felt bad as the thought came, Hamish and them have already put themselves out by offering him a home with them. Not to sound like Hamish, but it really would be rude just to cut and run the first chance he got.

He got out of his car as he pulled into the train yard. As he entered the employee breakroom however he was stopped by Jeb's father Sam, who was his boss.

"Clive? What're you doin' here?"

"I'm coming in to work sir." Clive stated, unsure why he wouldn't. The weekend was over and it was time to work.

"You didn't get my message? What the hell is wrong with you and Jeb?! I couldn't get a call to either of you!" Sam snapped.

Clive wasn't sure about Jeb not answering. But at least he had a decent excuse.

"I was kicked out of my place last night."

Sam looked concerned.

"What happened?"

"Some horseshit with the management." Clive said, not wanting to get into that mess right now.

"Well, you can always stay with us. Or Jeb could take you in?"

Clive was almost tempted. But he sighed as he remembered his decision on the way here.

"Thanks, but some friends offered me a place to stay last night."

"Oh yeah? Where at?"

"South of town a ways, on some farmland."

"Good Lord! No wonder I couldn't reach you! You may as well be in the middle of nowhere!"

"But I'm not in the middle of nowhere, I'm south of Somewhere!" Clive lipped. Which he regretted as Sam smacked him.

"I get enough smartassery from Jeb, I don't need it from you too!"

Clive rubbed his head.

"So what was it that you wanted to reach me about?"

Sam groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Works been put on hold for the near future."

"What?! Why?!"

"The Duval Coal Mine is shut down! Since runnin' coal is most, hell, its ALL of the income of this place the owner has put a hold on work until he can find somethin' else to ship!" Sam yelled, frustration and worry in his voice.

Which it should be. The coal mine and train station made like 90% of the towns profits! The only other thing it had going for it was agriculture, and that hasn't been invested in for years if not decades! Maybe the town could start investing in lumber, but with its less than friendly relations with Jeb's kin in the mountains it'd be a cold day in hell before they let the town within a mile of their mountain for logging.

"So what does that mean for us?"

"It means... prob'ly dust off your resume and find other work. Hell, I'll most likely have to do the same before long also!" Sam said dejectedly as he left Clive to his thoughts.

Guess it was a good thing he wasn't staying in the apartment anymore given he was, more or less, unemployed. But what was this talk about the mine being shut down? Morty couldn't be that petty that he would shut down the mine just to spit the union miners... would he?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Morty might be a lot of things, but he wasn't dumb enough to close the mine that pretty much provided his family's entire wealth! Even his father would intervene to keep the mine going if it came down to it.

As he got back into his car he pulled out his phone, brought Morty's number up, and hovered his finger over call. But after a minute he just locked his phone back up. As curious as he was, he was disappointed in Morty more! He wasn't going to beat him half to death like Jeb. But he could give him the silent treatment, at least for a few days. Enough for him to stew and think how bad he messed up!

So Clive started to drive back home, he briefly thought about stopping at Town Hall to maybe check if they have any adds for farm animals. But he kept driving, he would see if Hamish would be interested in coming with him and doing the checking himself.

One thing did nag him on the way back thought. The giant. It still sat in his stomach like a knot how it all went down. He was so busy dealing with his his own problems that he almost forgot about it. Of course he had no clue how to deal with it. How would he even go about it? Traipse through the cold woods calling for him like a lost dog?!

Even if he did find him then what? Offer him a place in his tent? He doubt it would cover his foot! This all assuming he's even still alive. For all he knew the giant could have died already. He didn't look in the best of shape last time and that was what? 2-3 days ago? How would he even feed him?!

He pulled into the halfling tent town and parked his car next to a couple of wagons. His mood lately has been sour. First the giant. Then the shitshow between Jeb and Morty. Losing his, warm, apartment. Now his job was pretty much gone as well! He groaned as he laid his head in his hands.

He was shocked out of his dark mood as a knocking came from his door. Clive opened it and saw Hamish, and he looked both worried and happy.

"Clive! You 'ave ta come quick!"

"What's wrong? Is the giant back?"

"No no, nothin' like tha'! Addie's gone inta labor!" Hamish cheered as he rushed off.

Clive closed and locked up his car as he hurried behind the hurried halfling.

Clive heard screaming as they neared the Hambinger family tent. Clive and Hamish both stopped outside the tent, it was already crowded as mid-wives and healers swarmed Addie. Neither made to enter. Clive because of his size, and Hamish...

"I 'ATE YOU HAMISH!!!!"

His wife screamed with bloody murder. Hamish took a deep breath, picked up the nearby Feryl, and sat as he waited for the birthing to get over.

"Shouldn't we help or something?"

"Nay lad. We'd just get in tha way. Come, 'ave a smoke with me 'nd tha lad!"

So Clive sat down next to Hamish and his son as Hamish lit his pipe and waited, all while his wife threatened every curse Clive's ever heard of, and some he didn't!

"So, uh. Do you know what it'll be?"

"Well, it's 'spose ta be a lass. Not sure 'ow she knows tha' though?!"

"So, this is your second kid?" Clive asked, earning a laugh from Hamish.

"Ha! No lad, this is our... eleventh? Addie! This our eleventh innit?" Hamish called into the tent.

"IT'LL BE OUR LAST IFIN YOU KNOW WHA'S GOOD FER YOU!!!"

"Aye, the eleventh." Hamish said simply, unworried about his wife's curses and threats.

"Are they all here with you guys?" Clive asked looking around.

"Nay lad, most left ta greener pastures when tha land dried up. Some wanted ta make their mark in tha cities, and some were sold ta some of tha wealthier family's further away."

"What do you mean by 'sold'?" Clive asked, he figured the halflings were a little old fashioned but he didn't think they would sell their own!

"Marriage dowries o' course! Me 'nd Addie 'ave made some fine young lads 'nd lasses o'er tha years! Ain't tha' right dear?!"

"I 'OPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE!!!"

"Don't look so concerned, she roars 'nd curses every time. Give it a month or two 'nd I'll not be able ta keep her off me! Speakin' of concerns! Not ta worry 'bout tha dowry! 'Ol Hamish ain't no miser! You'll get a fair one!"

Clive just looked confused at Hamish at that statement, unsure what it was supposed to mean. Before he could ask however they all heard the tell tale sound of a new born babe.

After a minute the healers and the mid-wives left the tent. Hamish put out his pipe and hauled his son into the tent, he beckoned Clive to follow. He hesitated as this seemed like a personal family thing, but with Hamish's insistent look he acquiesced and followed into the tent, crouching until he was practically crawling on his knees.

There was Addie, sweating and tired as she held a new born baby girl to suckle on her breast. She had a smile as she watched the wee babe. Hamish walked over and held his wife, his son stared at his new little sister, a grin forming as he began to realize he was now an older brother!

This held for a few minutes, Clive just stared at the small fragile thing in their arms. After a moment Hamish waved Clive over to which he did with hesitation. Feeling somewhat unworthy to be apart of something so personal as this.

"Clive, I'd like you ta meet Stella Hambinger! Yer bride ta be!" Hamish cheered.

Clive looked at Hamish like he wasn't sure he heard right.

"What?"

"O' course tha weddin' ain't gonna happen now! It'll be a few years 'fore yer wed! It'll give us time ta raise her 'nd ta teach her 'ow ta be a good wife!"

"What?!"

"Like I said before! You'll get yer bride price not ta worry!"

Clive just looked between Hamish, Addie, and his apparent fiancé in confusion and anger.

"You asked him didn't you Hamish?"

"'Course I did! We met at this place that served cold tea! I'll tell you 'bout tha' later. I broached tha subject with Clive 'ere 'nd he said 'yeah, sure'! Don't look at me like tha' woman! I did wha' you wanted!"

"WHAT?!"