Free Town, Jamaica.

Benji tapped impatiently on his steering wheel as he kept glancing between his watch and the screen door to his friend's house. He muttered as he noticed the time clicking away closer and closer to the time they were supposed to be at work.

"Where is dat fool?"

As he fidgeted impatiently for a minute more he eventually hissed a curse and opened the door to his car and marched up to the door while muttering several more curses. He banged on the door.

"Sosa?! Sosa! Get up ya fool! We gonna be late!"

Benji tapped his foot as he waited for the sound, or anything really, of his friend getting a move on. When he heard nothing he grumbled and pushed open the screen door. He entered the rather untidy home and looked around. It looked like something out of a Bob Marley documentary, Benji thought as he shook his head while looking at the bongs and weed bowls strewn about the place.

Then he spotted movement on the ratty worn couch. Benji sighed and walked over to where his friend slept soundly. He leaned down and spoke.

"Sosa?"

Sosa groaned and waved a hand away as his friend's breath tickled his ear.

"Not today Mama, I be too old for school."

Benji smirked and spoke in a faux female voice.

"But den you'll be held back for da eighth year in a row."

Sosa groaned and turned away.

"Mrs. Conway be a bitch anyway. She only be doin' it cause she be old and more wrinkly than her husband's forehead. Ya could use dat man's head as a washboard ya could."

"How about dis? Ya get up so we can be goin' ta work, or I'll be usin' ya head as a washboard." Benji while continuing the female tone.

Sosa cracked open an eye.

"Mama?"

Benji pulled the couch cushion Sosa was using as a pillow out from under him and promptly smacked his friend with it.

"Get up ya bum! We gonna be late!"

Sosa turned a bloodshot eye towards his friend while trying to wrestle the couch cushion away from him.

"Ya know wakin' a bruddah up like dat be bringin' trouble!"

"And bein' late again will be bringin' ya fired! So get fresh and lets go!" Benji stated and pointed towards the door.

Sosa rolled to a sitting position and glanced a glaucoma eye towards his wall clock.

"Benji! It only be tree fiddy! We still got five minutes!"

"It'll take ya five minutes just ta get rid o' dat ganja smell off ya! If da guests complain again da boss is gonna fry ya more den ya already are!" Benji stated.

Sosa waved off his friend and groaned as he sat up.

"Da only ones dat be complainin' are old fatties dat don't be knowin' how ta relax."

"Just shut up and get ready or I'll be leavin' ya!" Benji retorted.

"Relax mon! I'm already ready!" Sosa said and gestured to the work clothes he was apparently already wearing.

Benji sighed.

"Please tell me ya didn't smoke and sleep in ya work clothes?"

"No? I just took a nap is all, and I be wearin' a new cologne!"

"What it be? Ode Ta Marley?"

"Yeah! That be da one!" Sosa replied and patted his friend on the shoulder before slinking past him and leaving his friend in the place that stunk of so much weed that he was surprised there was any weed left in the world.

With a sigh, Benji turned and followed after Sosa and they both got into his car. Sosa humming a tune as he flipped on the radio.

"Lets get some tunes goin'!"

After slapping his hand away and changing it from the typical Reggae station he plays all the time, he flipped it to the news station where a female voice spoke over the radio.

"Hostilities be mountin' in Europe as da war drags on. It still be unclear if da loss o' a sixth fishin' vessel in da North Sea be a result o' da war expandin' further out but officials in Scandinavia and Britain are considerin' callin' an early end ta da fishin' season while NATO be contemplatin' sendin' navy vessels ta da area ta protect shippin'. In other news, da tropical storm hittin' da Yucatan peninsula continues ta batter da region followin' a string o' da worse cartel related attacks between two rival cartels resulted in da highest death toll da area has seen in decades. Reports follow from Mexican officials report dat da leaders o' both rival cartels appear ta be deceased. One dyin' ta combat related wounds after what appears ta be a hit on a cartel safehouse, and da other by suicide after da death o' his son in da latest clash. Da severity, time, and off season in which da storm has raged has caused mass protests from climate activists callin' for increased regulation in da face o' such frequent storms. Comin' right up, increasin' tension in da Pacific after several vessels disappear in da South Pacific-"

"In other news, da world be goin' crazy." Sosa stated and flicked the radio to something else.

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Benji slapped his hand away.

"Don't be turnin' off my girl like dat!"

"In order for me ta do dat, ya need ta be turnin' her ON." Sosa replied and rolled the window down.

"We're gettin' around ta it. We be takin' tings slow is all."

"Ha! Ya sound like dat lady in America! We be commin' back ta it. We be circlin' around ta it! Ya circlin' any more ya not gonna be knowin' which way is up!"

"She don't like me smellin' like ya is all! Which I don't be blamin' her! Tree minutes out and I can still smell ya ganja!" Benji replied.

"Probably because I be smokin' some right now." Sosa replied as he wagged a lit blunt towards Benji.

Benji cursed and looked around.

"Put dat out ya fool before a cop be seein' us!"

Sosa waved a hand.

"What a world we be livin' in. Where a simple weed be illegal."

"Only if ya smoke it like a fish drinks water." Benji muttered and rolled down his window to get the thick ganja smoke out.

"Hey! I be havin' a medical condition!"

"Pretty sure glaucoma isn't gonna be a valid excuse when dey find enough ganja in ya house ta raise Marley from da dead and put 'im back in da grave again."

"Ya just mad ya 'girl' be forcin' ya ta stop."

"She not be forcin' me! I just decided I didn't like bein' high all da time!"

"Uhuh. Sure mon." Sosa replied with a grin and held out the blunt for his friend to take.

Benji eyeballed the road and the blunt. He snatched the joint out of his hand and took a deep puff. Sosa laughed and smiled.

"Feel better bruddah?"

"No. But at least toleratin' ya is gonna be easier."

They passed the joint back and forth as they headed south towards their job at a mineral springs resort near the Salt River. As they pulled up to the building, Benji snatched what was left of the blunt and tossed it out the window, much to the dismay of Sosa.

"Mah ganja!"

"Ya be havin' plenty already!" Benji retorted and got out of the car.

"Not like dat I don't! Dat be mah own special blend! Cultivated it myself! Cared for it like mah own daughter!"

"Ya don't have a daughter."

"Dat ya know of."

"Pretty sure da funk o' ya is enough ta warn away any girl interested."

"Really? Because I be rememberin' a few times where we both got some pretty girls durin' Summer Vacation? Remember dat cute ditzy American?"

"No. I don't." Benji replied as he and Sosa made their way to get cleaned up and ready for work.

"Well I do! She was all over ya! Couldn't get enough o' dat Jamaican grass!"

"Pretty sure she was drunk and didn't even be knowin' her own name." Benji replied as he sprayed enough body spray that he smelled like a whorehouse.

But at least it wasn't ganja, he thought as he and Sosa left the employee area and went to their work stations. Or at least Benji did. Sosa just tagged along and sat at the bar where his friend worked.

"Dat not be da point."

"Well I tink da point is ta shut it before da boss hears ya."

"Bah! He be too busy tryin' ta perv on tourists in da changin' rooms." Sosa remarked and turned to look at the mineral springs nearby.

"Again, pretty sure dat was you."

"It were only one time! And I still be gettin' nightmares from it!"

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure ya knew Mrs. Conway were already in dere." Benji replied with a chuckle.

"Yeah! Her younger, hotter, and less wrinkly daughter! Dat woman would make da sun jealous wit how hot she is!"

"Careful, or Mrs. Conway might be thinkin' ya talkin' about her."

Sosa shuddered.

"Swear dat witch be part tree. Tink if we counted her wrinkles we would find out how old she is?"

"I don't know. But ya best be startin'." Benji replied and made a subtle gesture to an old, and very wrinkly, woman heading their way.

The dinosaur of a woman cast a stink eye at Sosa.

"Mr. Daughtry."

"Mrs. Trunchbull." Sosa replied back.

The woman huffed and spat out a thick glob of tobacco and denture cream.

"Still as disrespectful as ever."

"And ya still be as old as ever." Sosa stated.

"Ha! Dis is just da body o' a fine mature woman!" The wrinkled woman stated and gestured to her sagging skin that was barely held up with a swim suit that wasn't near enough to keep things where they should be.

Sosa choked back a gag.

"Bet dats what dey say just when dey be ready ta trow ya inta a tomb."

The oldened woman scoffed and strutted away, her bones cracking and rattling as she did. Benji turned to Sosa with a grin.

"I tink she likes ya."

"And I tink I would like her on a pyre. Nice big one. Sometin' ta tell dem in space dat it be safe ta come down now dat da witch be dead." Sosa replied and took out a joint and lit it up.

"And what would ya be usin' for kindlin'?" Benji asked and swiped the joint from his friend and took a puff before handing it back.

"Who be needin' kindlin'? All dat skin will spark like a match! Oh?! Better yet! We can bury her and turn her inta oil! We'll be rich like dem Saudis!" Sosa replied.

"Or, ya can get ta work and quit distractin' me."

"Distract ya from what? There be no-one here! Most o' dem tourists go up ta Kingston."

"We get some still. Enough ta afford ta keep payin' ya lazy bum."

"Well den ya can wake me when dey come." Sosa replied and put on a pair of sunglasses from the nearby stand and laid his head back while gently rolling the joint in his mouth.

Benji sighed and rolled his eyes before turning back to work. What little there was for him to do. While they did get some business during the winter months from snowbirds coming down from out of the cold, most of their business wouldn't pick up until Spring Break and Summer. Otherwise Sosa was right, it was more or less dead around here save for locals and an odd tourist or two.

Which left Benji to do little more then pour and refill local drinks, usually non-alcoholic, as parents kept their eyes on kids playing in the mineral spring while they sunbathed. Which also meant that he had little to do other than pass the joint between him and Sosa just to pass the time.

"Ya ever wonder if we be real?" Sosa asked suddenly.

"What?" Benji asked in a tired voice.

"How can we be knowin' if we be real? What if we all be make believe?"

"Who in their right mind would make up someone like ya Sosa?"

"No, tink about it! What if we all be just characters in a story! What if we just be here ta be background characters ta fill da world out!"

"Really? Ya don't be tinkin' ya da main character?" Benji asked.

"Well o' course I be da main character! I got more personality den ya do!"

"Really? I woulda pegged ya as da comic relief. Somethin' ta lighten da mood when da story be gettin' dark."

"And ya be da responsible one dat no-one listens ta."

"Ya mean da one dat makes it ta da end and is right about everythin'?"

"No. Da one dat dies about half-way through because he can't stop talkin' about how right he is."

"Pretty sure dat be soundin' like ya."

"Course not. I'm witteh! People LOVE ta hear me talkin'!" Sosa replied with an exaggerated flourish of his arms, which also knocked over the sunglasses stand.

"Well while ya be talkin', call dat fella over and see about gettin' 'im some sunscreen." Benji replied and gestured towards the water where someone with a deep red sunburn was looking around with some sort of red hat on.

Sosa peeked his sunglasses down and tsk'ed.

"Mon be as red as a lobstah."

"So call 'im up so we can be makin' sure he's irie."

Sosa shook his head and gave a sharp whistle.

"Hey whiteboy! Bettah come out before ya turn any redder!"

Benji smacked the back of his friend's head.

"Whatcha doin' fool?!"

"Callin' 'im up!"

"I swear all dis weed be rottin' ya brain!" Benji replied, taking his attention off the approaching customer.

"Don't be talkin' about mah baby like dat! She be a sweet young ting! Sometin' ta sooth ya when tings get rough!"

"Well how about-" Benji started before pausing and turning to look at their customer, who was red like a lobster alright.

The "man", or whatever it was, stood tall enough to brush against the fake straw bar awning over them. His "hat" turned out to be the top of his head that produced two long feelers that lobsters and other such shellfish had which stretched down and just barely brushed the sand. It and the feelers was a deep red on top with a pale white on his face, where two eyestalks held beady black eyes. It had no nose, or at least nothing Benji could accurately say was one, and it's mouth was a hole with two small claws twitching and adjusting as it stared at Benji and Sosa curiously.

Benji's eyes traveled further down. Red shelled shoulders and arms that topped off in two massive lobster claws that looked like they could fell a tree with a single pinch followed by a smaller pair of what appeared to be arms for grabbing things close to the white shell of a chest that would grab anything nearby and send it up to the mouth that would take a couple curious nibbles before usually tossing it away.

Down past the white shell belly and to the legs. Or where the legs would be, Benji thought as he stared at what looked like the body of a lobster. About right where a lobster head would be was instead a spot where the torso of the body emerged from thick red shell spiked along the back. Its actual legs were the thick legs of a crab that skittered a couple inches this way and that way at random.

Benji then turned his gaze up at the face of this... thing.

"Hey Sosa? What did ya put in dat ganja?"

Sosa chuckled and turned around. Where he stopped and pushed his sunglasses down to stare between the joint in Benji's hand and the shelled crustacean thing that was towering over the bar and them as it looked around curiously.

"I... don't be rememberin'."

Benji nodded and passed the blunt back to Sosa before turning to leave.

"I tink mah girl be right. I'm takin' da day off."

"Yeah, ya do dat mon." Sosa mumbled as he stared at the crab person thing as his friend left.

Sosa glanced between the joint and the creature. Unsure what to do since he wasn't even sure if he was seeing things or not. So he glanced back at the creature and held out the hand with a joint in it and asked a simple question.

"Ya want some ganja?"