Somewhere, West Virginia, USA.

Yesterday, the people of Somewhere were told by the Mayor and Councilmen that the mine HADEN'T been closed.

But as this morning's news conference confirmed, it had!

Even more shocking was that the mine will not be reopened but has instead been donated to a local church!

Councilman Daniel Dawesson gave this statement.

"We have enriched our pockets for too long at the expense of our own spiritual well being! With this we correct that grave mistake!"

"AHAHAHAHA!!!" Morty cackled as he watched the morning news.

The Mayor has issued no comment on the arrangement. Further, any attempts to receive a statement from the Duvals have been met with aggressive dismissal!"

The scene changed to a aggressive reporter and cameraman harassing one of his Red Cap guards out front.

"Excuse me sir?! Can I get a statement from the Duvals on the situation of the mine?!"

The guard just hissed and glared at the pushy woman.

"Is it true that several former union miners came to confront your boss yesterday evening?!" The camera and mic getting shoved into the guards green face.

"Is it also true that you're diseased child soldiers being held against your will?!"

"Fuk off!" Was the only response from the Red Cap as he butted the camera away with his musket.

How will this affect the townsfolk and the economy of the town itself? Find out more at 9! In other news, talks are in progress with the governments of North Africa by an eccentric billionaire on excavating the site believed to be where the famed and mythical city of Atlantis is buried under the sands of the Sahara!

"What a load of shit!" Morty said switching over to cartoons as he ate his cereal.

Once he downed his bowl he got ready for the day. As the new head of the family he needed to dress the part, which meant nice, dark, Italian suit and tie with shiny black shoes, and gold watch. He even wore his grandfather's signet ring, reclaimed from his father, that added to the number of other rings he's accessorized himself with! Then he went to the garage. Where he found his father's long black '65 Deville Cadillac convertible! Well, now HIS, long black '65 Deville Cadillac.

He hoped in and lowered the rag top for the sisters to sit in the back, much to the protest of the shocks of the car. Note to self, Morty thought. Get the suspension adjusted. But first.

He rolled the garage door up. A group of reporters were waiting outside the gate to the manor. He revved up his engine. When they didn't disperse he floored it. As he gunned it they finally jumped out of the way. Morty laughed as those in the middle of the road tumbled over one another.

"Damn! 7-10 split!"

"What's that Master?" Orga asked as they rolled into town. Rear-end squealing as the back scrapped against the pavement.

"A bowling number. OOH?! I should take you two bowling!" Morty cheered as the thought of watching the two sisters THROWING the ball at the pins!

He pulled up to the town's local garage. Him and the sisters got out and they loitered while Morty commissioned improved shocks and suspension for the classic. While the sisters watched over the car while they worked, Morty made for the nearby bar.

When he got there he sauntered in, and was met first by momentary confusion and curiosity, then by hate and revulsion as the room realized who it was that was disturbing them.

"Morning!"

His cheery greeting was met with sour silence as the room glared at him.

"What? Not in a good mood this morning?"

"What do you want Mortimer!?" A voice called from the dim and smoke.

"What do I want? I can't come down here to enjoy a drink or smoke with my fellow Somewheretonions? Somewhereites?" Morty asked the crowd.

"Yeah, sure. Like you would come down from on high to grace us mere peons with your presence for shits and giggles!" A rough voice chimed. Interrupting Morty from his contemplation of what exactly the residents of the town were actually called.

"Well, yeah, you're right. I didn't come down here to inhale your stale smoke and piss water swill."

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"Then what did you want? Do it and fuck off!"

Morty placed a hand over his heart with mock shock.

"Really? I come down here to thank you and this is the treatment I get?!"

"Thank us? For what?"

"Well, I'm glad you asked! See? Someone called me yesterday to warn me of certain individuals that MAY or MAYNOT have had ill intent!" Morty said as he pulled a cigar from his pocket and sparked it up with a match, puffing on it for a moment before strolling about the place.

"So, I've merely come down here to thank whoever it was that offered such a good hearted tip!"

"As if any of us would sell out our own!" A voice came, with the cheers and agreements of most of the room.

"Well, SOMEONE from this bar called my home last night! So I am merely stopping by to reward the good Samaritan!" Morty said as he pulled out a thick wad of crisp fresh 100's. Pulling each individual bill and placing them neatly on the sticky bar counter he stopped when $5000 were stacked neatly on the bar.

He placed a palm flat over the stacks of cash.

"Now, I don't know who it was. But for that kind someone. This is for you!"

He patted the stacks before smiling and leaving with a chuckle and puff of strong cigar smoke.

The room turned deathly quiet and the air went tense as they all looked at one another. Waiting for whoever it was that sold out their friends and co-workers! After a tense minute a man stood and grabbed the money.

"How could you?!"

"Strikin' and 'revolution' are well and good for folk that don't have a family to feed!"

"Bill and them could be dead for all you know!"

"Or they could've gotten paid to fuck off! For all YOU know they're on some beach somewhere laughin' at us!"

"Bill wouldn't do that to us! He-"

"He led us to strike for work that doesn't exist anymore at a job that doesn't either!"

He finished pocketing the money and made to leave, the rest of the bar in pursuit. They stumbled out the bar door, to Morty waiting nearby. Cigar still burning.

"Morning!"

"Fuck your mornin'! Where's Bill and them!?"

"Was that his name?"

Someone made to lunge at him, but was held back when the sisters rounded the corner and flanked Morty.

"Well, I'll just say this. They entered my home, uninvited I might add, on two legs and they left on two legs. Though, they were a bit greener when they left!"

"You see!? They took his money and left us to rot!" The somewhat richer man shouted to the group.

"He wouldn't do that to us! He's liein'!"

"Yeah?! Then why isn't he here?! Where is he?!"

They all looked at Morty.

"Don't look at me! I have no fucking clue! They left my home alive and in good health!"

Which wasn't even a lie! They did leave his home alive, though he wasn't sure being a 7ft tall hairy bigfoot looking thing was healthy.

The group looked uncertain.

"He wouldn't do that... would he?"

The richer man just shook his head and left. The rest shuffled back into the bar, moods much diminished. Morty just watched before taking another puff of his cigar before discarding the thing. Him and the sisters returned to retrieve his car, the sisters hopping into the back. While it was still close to the ground, the back shouldn't scrape against the pavement.

They made their way over to Jeb's. But then Morty thought better for a moment and parked his car outside of Jeb's father's.

"Wait here."

"You don't want us to come Master?" Orga asked with concern.

"Naw, it'd be better if you just stayed here and waited. I won't be long!"

So the sisters watched Morty climb the road up to Jeb's. After a few minutes Jeb's father Sam came out of the house.

"Can I help you?"

"No, we are just waiting for Master." Urga stated.

Sam walked over to the two ogres, he looked them over with a skeptical eye. Then he turned his gaze to the black Cadillac.

"You with that Duval?"

They nodded. He snorted with derision.

"Come and take a seat. They won't be long."

He motioned for them to sit near a table he had on the front patio. They moved the chairs and sat at the table. Sam pulled out a deck of cards.

"You two know Blackjack?"

They shook their heads.

"So, the trick is to get as close to 21 as possible without goin' over!"

So he taught them how to play while Morty went up to meet Jeb. After a few minutes though.

BANG! BANG!

The sisters looked up the hill with concern.

"Were you with Mortimer?"

They nodded.

"We shouldn't worry then."

After a moment of Sam continuing to teach them various poker games the gunfire resumed.

RATATATATATATATATATAT!!!!!

That got the sisters worried and they stood up. Knocking the table as they did. They breathed a sigh of relief as they watched Morty come down the hill in one piece.

"YOU'RE STILL UPSET!!! I GET THAT!!! I'LL TALK TO YOU IN A DAY OR TWO AFTER YOU CALM DOWN SOMEMORE!!!"

Morty panted as he walked over to the sisters and Sam.

"See you're still alive Mortimer."

"Yeah, don't look so surprised."

"Not surprised, disappointed. Thought I taught Jeb to aim better than that!"

Morty chuckled sarcastically as him and the sisters got back into his car and headed home.

-----

"FIRE!!!"

BOOM!!!!

The cannonball flew through the air before sailing over the brick wall.

"Piss job!" The Headman cursed as the Red Cap Cannoneer in charge of the cannon cracked a crop across the back of a goblin.

"Down free 'grees!"

"Down free 'grees!" Repeated the Red Cap Cannoneer. The goblin crew hurried to adjust the sights.

"Free 'grees Norf!"

"Free 'grees Norf!"

"FIRE!"

BOOM!!!

The cannonball sailed through the air before smashing into one of the trucks they still had, mostly, intact. The artillery crew cheered. Then the commander cracked the crop again.

"Back to work you lot! Load skatter shot!"

They grumbled as they loaded the cannon with a canister of small bits of iron. Then the team of 6 pushed the cannon forward a couple yards before stopping. After adjusting the aim, the Red Cap Cannoneer called.

"FIRE!!!"

The cannon erupted and the body of the truck was shredded from the spray! The Headman looked satisfied as the Cannoneer ordered some grunts to look for the lost cannonball. It might not have detonated which means it can still be of use.

The Headman walked around the encampment of the Red Caps. He sneered down at any goblin that wandered into his path. Any that weren't wearing the colors were less than them and it was obvious. Not only mentally they were weak, but physically they were as well!

It was something they've began to notice since the other day. Those that wore the colors, that proved themselves above the rest, didn't just stand straighter. They were taller, bigger, than the rest! Their skins weren't so green anymore, more a tannish color now. What lumpy warts and bulges they had were replaced with cords of sinewy muscle!

They even noticed the changes in their faces! Ears and noses weren't so comically large and pointed. Their teeth were even straighter than other goblins! He wasn't sure what was happening, but he and the others liked it!

There was a clear hierarchy now! The Boss and the sisters at the top, then the Red Caps, then the other weak pathetic goblins at the bottom.

Before, it was common to always look over their shoulder in fear of the goblin next to them trying to kill them. But now, now none of those below them DARED so much as raise their voice at the Red Caps!

The Headman stopped at a firing line of Red Caps and watched as both goblin grunts and prospective Red Caps drilled and drilled on the line. The goblins weren't much better than grunts to fill out the line, or for hauling supplies around. The Red Caps were the ones with discipline and prowess! They would nail shot after shot and reload with quick and precise movements.

All things considered? He was actually glad to be serving the Boss! If he wasn't then he would probably be dead in the cave, or dead in the woods, or just plain dead! But now? Now him and the other Red Caps had a better life than squabbling over scraps like animals! Now they feasted on finer meals and drinks like the Boss does! They dressed nice like he does! They even thought better like he does!

He could recall the books they found in the armory of the Boss. Books by someone called Nap Lion. He was a human but he was feared and respected! No goblin was that. No goblin could EVER be that! But a Red Cap? They could! He could see it in the eyes of the goblins around them. Even in his fellow Red Caps. There was respect there that they NEVER had before.

And they LOVED it!