Halfling Colony.

"What do you mean you're not going to help?" Clive asked as he and Kilpa stood before the table where the heads of the Big Families sat and ate within the feasting tent.

"Ain't tha' 'ard ta understand lad, thin's will sort themselves out! Dinnae worry none! Come 'ave a seat 'nd eat with us!" One of the heads said.

"This shit can't sort itself out! The colony needs more land if it's going to keep growing the way it has! We need to integrate it within the US so we can get stuff like infrastructure set up along with stuff like taxes, switching to the dollar so we can actually be a part of the global market! Hell this place doesn't even have an official name yet! How are you just sitting there and letting so much go undone?!" Clive all but yelled at them, earning some looks from others that were nearby as they turned their heads to see what the ruckus was about.

The heads all looked to one another for a moment before one of them sighed and spoke up.

"Tha's just not 'ow we halflin's do thin's lad. Wha's tha human expression? Somethin' 'bout not fixin' somethin'?"

"If it ain't broke don't fix it."

"Aye! Tha'!"

"While nothing has broken yet, that doesn't mean that we should just sit around and wait for when it does!" Clive said heatedly.

"Cliven, yer worryin' too much!"

"Maybe, but it seems like you're not worrying enough! There are things that NEED to get done!"

"'Nd wha' are these thin's tha' so desperately need ta be done?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe getting recognized by the government who's country you currently live in. Getting attached to the market so we don't have to worry about starving when winter comes. Getting a militia in case something else comes around."

"Bah! We're halflin's! No government cares 'bout us! Not in our world 'nd not in this one! 'Nd why do WE need to attach ourselves ta THEIR market, wha's so special 'bout it?! 'Nd wha' do we need a militia fer?!"

"Maybe the fact that in your short time here you've had to deal with a giant."

"Which is still alive." One of the halflings murmured.

"And minding his own business! As well as a gang!"

"Which we beat back!"

"Barely! The next group might not be mostly thugs! They might be monsters or people with guns! Slings and produce wont deal with that!" Clive said as his anger rose.

"Tha fact it's 'appened twice just means tha' it'll be less likely ta 'appen thrice!"

"Less likely doesn't mean fucking impossible!" Clive shouted as his tolerance for the halflings was reaching a breaking point... again.

The heads all smirked and looked to one another before one of them spoke again.

"Well. Since you're so passionate 'bout gettin' thin's done. Why dinnae we just leave it ta you ta sort out, ya ken?"

They were doing this on purpose, he thought. This wasn't mere incompetence, this was pure spite! They probably knew the importance and the rewards of what he was trying to do, at least to a degree. But they were INTENTIONALLLY being difficult because it was HIM that was trying to do it!

"So that's it? I'm to run a colony by myself?" Clive scoffed as the heads all chuckled.

"We 'ave faith in you lad! Dinnae worry!" One of them smirked condescendingly.

Clive gritted his teeth. Guess this is what Jeb felt when dealing with Morty's prods all these years, he thought.

"Can I at least get the colony's financial records, as well as access to the treasury?"

"But o' course! Wouldn'y want you ta run low while implementin' these important thin's yer doin' now would we?" One of them said in a not at all sympathetic voice as the rest laughed, not even trying to hide the fact that they were all fucking with Clive. Even Kilpa's hands moved towards daggers that were no longer there.

"Tha records is uhm, where were it again lads?" One of them asked in a tone that said that they knew damn well where it was.

"I think it were by tha papers ta tha right on tha table."

"No they were by the papers ta tha left on tha floor."

"Yer both wrong! It's in tha chest with tha finances themselves!"

They all seemed to laugh at their spiteful little game. Clive gritted his teeth and held back wanting to nail them in their fat fucking faces! As bad as they were right now, they could be ALOT worse, he thought to himself. They still had power and sway with the colony. Maybe not as much as they did in their world, but they could make doing anything infinitely harder than they already were. So he dug his nails into his palms and tried not to grit his teeth too hard.

After they got done laughing, one of them produced a simple key from their pocket and held it out for Clive to take. Before dropping it as his fingers brushed against the polished brass. The far too smug halfling just looked at Clive.

"Oops."

Kilpa quickly grabbed it and ushered Clive away before either of them could do something that probably would've felt good but would've just made their job harder as a result. Though it got REAL tempting. Especially as one of the heads called out as they neared the opening for the feasting tent.

"Wait? Dinnae you wanna know where tha treasury chest is?"

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Clive and Kilpa both breathed through their noses as both turned and looked back towards the smug dumb fucking faces of the heads.

"Where is it?"

"It's in tha tent by the desk." One of them said simply.

Clive nodded and began to leave again, but barely took a step when one of them piped up.

"Or maybe it were by tha table?"

"No, we buried it next ta tha out'ouses remember?"

The halfling heads continued for another few minutes before they finally got bored and told Clive and Kilpa where to find said finance chest. It was back at the assembly tent and secured within a locked cabinet. The key seemed to fit both the cabinet and the chest.

They opened the rather large chest and saw a thick ledger and a decent amount of coins and even some gems within. Kilpa took the ledger while Clive sifted through the chest to get a rough estimate of what the colony had available.

"Harvet Mother's bosoms! No wonder we lost tha farm!" Kilpa exclaimed aloud as she flipped through the records of the last few months.

"What?" Clive asked as he closed the chest and turned to Kilpa who turned the ledger around and Clive could see scribblings of numbers and names, none of which he knew what they meant.

"Say 'ere tha' tha fields turned fallow! Yields grew lesser 'nd lesser!"

"Yeah, that tends to happen if you don't take care of the soil properly." Clive stated simply.

"This isn't just 'round our old home though!" Kilpa said as she pulled some letters out of the ledger and read through some of them.

"Says 'ere tha' tha entire country was goin' belly up! Fields fer miles just dried up 'nd died!"

"That also tends to happen. We had something called The Dust Bowl for years. Foresting resulted in dirt and dust being blown by the wind and covering farms and even whole towns in dust."

"But we didnae do any major forestin'! An agreement with tha elves or some such. But it says 'ere tha' tha whole colony went deep inta debt tryin' ta keep thin's afloat. Sellin' off acres o' land just ta keep ahead o' their debts."

"Until you couldn't."

"Until we couldn'y. Our town was apparently one o' tha last ta be sold. Ain't no more letters after tha', though I could guess why." Kilpa said as she handed the letters to Clive.

Sure enough there it was. The reason the halflings ended up where they currently were. Lands went fallow to the point that they had to start importing food to keep people fed because the vast fields just weren't providing enough anymore. After that it was just a death spiral of selling land to buy food to feed people to work what little land was still good until even that wasn't enough.

One of the last letters says that the other remaining mayors and the government of the Fallmeadow Confederacy were meeting with other parties to work out a solution. But the date seemed to suggest that nothing came of it. Either that or the town picked up and left before then.

"Almost feel bad for you all." Clive said.

"Why? I left ta get coin tha' accordin' ta this wouldn'y done a lick o' good anyway, 'nd those lot are a buncha gobshites tha' need their teeth kicked in." Kilpa said.

"Yeah, but what about everyone else here? To carry on your day just trying to make things workable only to be told one day that this was it. There ain't nothing left. Having to pick up what you have left and move somewhere else, someplace else." Clive explained.

His own thoughts turned to Jeb again and just what it was that forced him to leave everything he knew and cared about behind to take a chance at some abandoned fishing lodge. He wanted to check up on him. But that seemed practically impossible now that he was a mayor with a petty governing body that was more intent on making him work for the bare necessities than actually helping him govern.

Clive sighed as he looked towards the latest pages of the records.

"So according to this, and what I could eye-ball in the chest, we should have enough to buy a decent acreage around the colony for both future expansion as well as a buffer between us and whatever the town is doing."

"Wha' 'bout tha woods?"

Clive sighed once more.

"While it probably wouldn't hurt, I should talk to Kesle and the rest of the turtles about potentially being considered a part of the colony if we want to incorporate the woods nearby officially. Though it also wouldn't hurt to technically make Sloth a member of the colony. Though I'm not sure how I'm going to do that."

"So should we 'ead out then?" Kilpa suggested.

"Yeah. We should also request a land survey and an official census so we can get some recognition from the government while we're at City Hall." Clive said as he and Kilpa packed up the finances and made their way to Clive's car before leaving the colony.

Clive chuckled as he recalled Kilpa hadn't actually been in his car and startling her when it started up. She glared at him as she white-knuckled the door handle the whole way there. As they neared they could see just how much of the town was growing. Some simple homes were in the process of being built to the west and immediate south of town.

"Hopefully some of the land is still for sale." Clive muttered as they passed a hodgepodge of tents and pre-fabs before entering the town proper.

The streets weren't quite as choking as they used to be. At least he could drive a decent enough speed into town without people cluttering the road. But he still had to drive at grandma speed more than he would've liked. The new-comers either bolted as his car drove by or gave it wary looks.

"See? You're not the only one." Clive smirked as Kilpa gave him a withering look.

They pulled up to the front of City Hall. All around were people loitering. Some were in tents and pre-fabs as they tried to shelter as many people as possible where they could. But many were huddled by fires as they tried to keep warm. Which was something that the halflings themselves would have to try and hurry up with as well. While pretty much all of them had some... insulation from the cold, it would start to rain or even snow before too much longer.

Which just made getting these sorts of things sorted out now, Clive thought as he and Kilpa groaned as they hauled the chest out of his trunk and dragged it towards the doors to City Hall. They pushed the doors aside and walked into the weirdly quiet foyer.

He figured there would be people here either making a ruckus about the new-comers or for the new-comers themselves to be in here for shelter. Though as he and Kilpa closed in on the desk that Greg manned he could guess why no-one was squatting in the foyer. Shouting could be heard in the City Council chambers nearby. He wasn't sure who or what it was about but Clive has some good guesses.

"Evening Greg." Clive greeted as he and Kilpa sat the heavy chest down.

"Even-n-n-ning C-c-c-c-clive. How c-c-c-can I h-h-h-h-help?" Greg stuttered and fidgeted as he adjusted and tweaked various things on the desk.

"I'm here for a few things today. Got anymore land ads?"

"I d-d-d-d-don't k-k-k-know. Some g-g-g-guys in s-s-s-suits b-b-b-bought m-m-m-most of them."

"Damnit! What about over where we bought ours?"

Greg shrugged and muttered under his breath as he shifted through various papers and looked through desk drawers. He exclaimed and pulled out a handful of land ads.

"Th-th-these sh-sh-sh-should be n-n-n-near you."

Clive looked over them and a map Greg provided so that he could get a rough idea of the land. It seems that most of the land to the north-east of them was bought up, probably for the town to house all these people, Clive thought. The land to the north, west, and south of them was still available! The land to the east was as well, but if Clive knew Morty then that land would be his if it wasn't already.

Not like Clive was looking to experience the fustercluck that was the little war between Jeb and Morty. So he could keep everything to the east of them for all he cared. Though he'll probably need to go over there anyway and sort out technical boundaries just to make sure.

"Oh! While we're here Greg. Could you organize a survey for us?"

"F-f-f-for wh-wh-what?"

Clive gestured down to where Kilpa could barely see over the desk. She waved as Greg leaned over and peered down at the little woman.

"We're looking to form a town and would like an official census and land survey so we can get things started."

"W-w-w-well, I c-c-c-could. B-b-b-but the m-m-mayor is alr-r-r-ready not h-h-h-happy." Greg said as shouting within the Council Chambers rose.

"Come on Greg! You don't have to do it, just call up Charleston and have them send someone down!"

"I c-c-c-can't." Greg said and picked up his desk phone and held it to Clive.

"We're sorry, this line is currently not in service, please hang-up and try again."

"You guys can't get anything out either?"

"N-n-n-not m-m-m-most of the t-t-t-time. B-b-b-but wh-wh-what we do g-g-get through d-d-d-doesn't l-l-last long." Greg explained.

"Well can you at least get us started until they get it fixed?"

"S-s-sorry C-c-clive! B-b-but-"

"Come on Greg!" Clive pleaded.

Greg stuttered and looked between Clive and Kilpa, who was still trying to peer over the desk to see what was happening. Eventually he spoke with a defeated voice.

"A-a-a-alright! I'll c-c-come by t-t-tomorrow!"

"Thanks Greg!" Clive said excitedly.

"J-j-just d-d-don't tell t-t-t-the mayor! H-h-h-he's alr-r-r-ready mad ab-b-b-bout all this!" Greg said as he gestured around.

"Deal." Clive said and shook hands with Greg as he slid the land ads and deeds over.

"J-j-j-just s-s-sign the n-n-n-name of y-y-y-your t-t-t-town inst-t-t-tead of y-y-y-yours."

As Clive went to take them Kilpa jumped up and snatched them away.

"I wanna do 'em!"

"Fine!" Clive said as he handed a pen to her and turned to Greg as Kilpa scratched away at the paperwork.

"So how's Sammy?"

"N-n-not g-g-good. The th-th-thing with J-j-j-jeb h-h-has her d-d-d-down."

"Yeah. Some people are taking all this pretty hard." Clive said as he also gestured around.

Greg nodded as Kilpa asked a few questions about certain things on the paper.

"H-h-he isn't th-th-the only o-o-one. Th-th-the m-m-m-mailman left t-t-t-too."

"Really? When?"

"Some t-t-t-time ago. M-m-most f-f-folk are st-st-staying but s-s-some left. He j-j-j-just left and n-n-n-never c-c-came b-b-back."

So who's delivering the mail?"

"N-n-no-one of-f-f-ficial. N-n-n-not like w-w-we get any m-m-m-mail anym-m-m-more either."

"So no chance of sending out any letters either then?" Clive asked as apparently even sending a letter to Jeb to see how he was doing was out of the question now too.

Greg shook his head.

"N-n-n-not us. B-b-b-but some g-g-guys in s-s-s-suits c-c-c-come by to c-c-collect m-m-m-ail to s-s-s-send out. S-s-s-so m-m-maybe t-t-talk to th-th-them?"

Clive wasn't sure if the Feds knew where Jeb was, but he wasn't going to just hand them an address to where he was going. Hopefully he can get things sorted at the colony enough to get a day to go and see him.

"Thanks anyway Greg. Here's payment for the land." Clive said as he took the finished papers from Kilpa and handed them back to Greg, along with a hefty amount of gold coins and gems that scattered and clinked along the desk. Causing Greg to stutter and panic as he tried to find something to contain it all in.

Clive and Kilpa hauled the lighter chest back to the car and made their way back to the colony, that was now officially much expanded. Though Clive reminded himself to talk to Kesle when they returned so they could discuss the situation with the colony and how the turtles wanted to be involved in it or not.