Somewhere, West Virginia, USA.

Clive, Hamish, and the pony, pulled into the lot where the halflings had set up camp. Industrious little guys, Clive thought as he got out and looked around. The land was in much better shape now then when he left.

Fields had been tilled, a couple paddocks had been set up for the cows and pigs. Most of the trees and weeds had been removed, and Clive could see several foundations for homes. Meanwhile most of them were huddled in a series of tents and small lean-to's.

Clive helped Hamish pull the pony out of his back seat, he was glad it wasn't a far drive or else he'd be scraping horseshit off his seats too. Though like the halflings, the pony seemed content to snore away in the back as his car hummed down the road.

"So where is this giant?" Clive asked as he looked at the horizon. Expecting some massive thing that looked like it walked out of a movie to come lumbering towards them.

"My men stumbled on 'im as they followed tha river bed. Come lad, it might be restin' 'nd we should deal with it soon 'fore it attacks! Not a moment ta lose!" Hamish cried as him and the halflings that "stumbled" onto the giant led Clive towards the giant.

"Tea time!" A female voice cried out. As if a switch flipped the halflings skidded to a halt.

"Is it that time already?" Hamish asked as he pulled out an old bronze pocket watch.

"Well, suppose tha giant can wait a moment! Come Clive sit fer a spot o' tea!" Hamish cheered as him and the other halflings went towards a central tent for tea and cakes.

Clive just stared dumbfounded. With how worried Hamish was to get him to come over and deal with a giant, and with how fired up he was a moment ago, he figured they would want to deal with it NOW.

"Hamish! We don't have time for tea and cake! You wanted me over here to deal with a giant!"

"Now don't be rude Clive! Tha giant can wait a bit longer, now come sit fer tea!" Hamish reprimanded Clive as he sat and sipped at a steaming cup of tea. The others weren't in any more of a hurry than he was as they all sat and took their own cups of tea, some snacking on cakes or biscuits. Some were even pulling out what looked to be an entire meal! Smoked sausage, fresh warm bread, fried fish! It seemed an entire buffet appeared within seconds!

"But the giant!?" Clive exclaimed exasperated.

"Yer bein' quite rude Clive! He'll wait 'till Afternoon Tea is finished!" Hamish scolded Clive. Who just rubbed his face in annoyance before taking a seat near Hamish.

"Its because he lives inna box is why he's so moody, I'll tell ya!" Hamish stated to the other halflings gathered. Some looking shocked at Clive, some with pity.

"I do NOT live in a box!" Clive retorted as he took an offered cup.

"Where do ya go ta potty in a box?" Someone asked.

Hamish answered before Clive could correct them again.

"That's just it! He 'as a little closet he squeezes inta ta washup in!"

The others gasped.

"You poor man! 'Ow does you 'nd tha missus live like that!" Someone called out.

"I don't have a "missus'." Clive stated as he sipped his tea.

Clive was actually relieved when Hamish took over this time.

"That's alright! Clive 'ere is a nice young lad of... eh, 'ow young is you Clive?"

"26." Clive stated. Though he wished he didn't when the atmosphere dropped. Even Hamish was giving him a funny look.

"What?"

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"Yer life is 'alf over 'nd you don't even gots a missus!?" One of the halflings exclaimed in shock and horror, the others nodding in agreement.

"He should marry a Hillock! They'd keep him right!" One called.

"Only if he wants children with wide ears! A Gelder would be more proper!" Another countered.

"He isn't one of those types is he!?" Someone else shouted.

"Like yer one ta talk George! Last Harvest Festival you were chowin' down on more sausage than anyone, 'nd you weren't even at tha buffet table!" The tent laughed at the crude joke, though it didn't last long as the marriage offers continued shortly after.

"A Fergusson would give 'is children some lovely red 'air!" Someone called.

"Bah! No one wants a red'eaded bastard! Golden locks is a sign of wealth and prosperity!" Came a fiery retort. Clive ended up in some sort of marriage auction/boasting competition as family names along with daughters, sisters, spinsters, childless widows, and even some sons, were offered up to him. Some were an... uncomfortable age, a few hadn't even been born yet! All were made while extolling the virtues and merits of the family of course.

He even noticed Addie, Hamish's own rotund wife, whispering to Hamish and occasionally pointing at him.

"Guys! 26 isn't that old! Humans can live up to 100!" Clive yelled over the noise. Though most didn't pay him any mind the few that did balked at his, seemingly, absurd claim.

He groaned as he just watched the hubbub continue. Though he was stopped when someone pulled on his shirt. He looked down to his left and noticed Hamish's little boy was looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Does yer pecker not work is why you ain't gots no missus?" The UNCOMFORTABLY inquisitive quarterling asked.

Clive just groaned as Addie dragged her boy away, apologizing profusely while doing so.

"Yeah! Does 'is tallywhacker even work!?" Someone called.

"Aye! All this talk 'nd we don't even know ifin it works!" Another yelled.

"Whip it out so's we can make sure!" A familiar voice called.

"Can't you wait till NEXT Harvest Festival, George?!" Hamish retorted. Much to the laughter of the tent.

Clive just sipped his tea and ate some cake. He briefly pondered if he ate it fast enough if he could choke himself.

Eventually the flood of offers and arrangements became a trickle before drying up all together. Much to Clive's relief. Though he still noticed Addie and Hamish whispering to each other with periodic glances towards Clive. He suppressed a groan as he had little doubt that this topic would surface again.

Hamish pulled out his pocket watch.

"Well, Tea Times over! We best be gettin' on!"

"Finally! Thank God!" Clive groaned as he got up, some halflings cleaning up as Hamish, him, and the others set out to deal with the giant. So they made their way towards where the halflings, who were carrying an assortment of short swords, spears, and pitchforks, saw the giant. Following the dried river bed for a time.

It wasn't long before they came to a wide, deep, indent in the earth. No doubt it was a sizable lake when water still ran here, Clive thought as they skirted the edge. The halflings stopped when they came to a small clearing with a ravine not far from the former lake.

"So where is it?" Clive asked.

The halfling scouts just looked at each other.

"Well, he WAS sleepin' right 'ere." One said as he pointed to the ravine.

"He isn't that big if he can sleep in a ravine." Clive said.

"That uh, weren't 'ere last time." One said as the halflings began to look around.

Clive looked at the "ravine" with a different eye now, if what they said was true then the giant could be about eye level with the roof of the 6 floor apartment building he was in!

"Well if he's not 'ere where'd he go?" Hamish asked.

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

The earth shook, and the halflings scattered like ants as they began to take cover behind rocks or trees.

Then Clive saw it.

It lumbered into the clearing with the "ravine", it was a giant alright, Clive thought as he now had a (former)myth towering over him.

His math was pretty accurate. He was 6 stories tall. He was pretty lean looking, Clive would almost say emaciated with how his gut jutted out. Clean shaven gaunt face with hollow, brown, eyes. It was bare except for a massive kilt made of what looked like fur. As the giant saw Clive it didn't look like some massive monster ready to eat them. It looked more like a lost, starving child. It kept looking at Clive and acting as if it was going to flee. It probably would have.

If the halflings hadn't snuck up behind it and stabbed at its legs.

The poor thing gave out a earth rumbling cry and swiped a hand at the halflings, gouging rents into the earth. If it weren't for their small size, and sheer dumb luck, they'd been turned to paste or sent flying into the unknown.

Then it looked at Clive and Hamish.

"I think we should run now Hamish. Hamish?" Clive looked to where Hamish was and saw him already running away.

Clive ran after Hamish, the giant's lumbered gait not far behind. He quickly caught up to him, before outright picking him up and throwing him onto his back.

"You didnae 'ave ta pick me up!" Hamish indignantly said.

"I could put you back down?" Clive said with laborious breath.

Hamish looked back at the giant, who was closing in far too quickly.

"Nay, I'm fine! Just run!" The halfling cried.

Ran they did, but Clive knew they wouldn't make it far. Then a idea formed, and he ran towards the dried lake.

"What you doin'?!" Hamish asked as Clive ran towards the edge, and fell over the side. They skidded as Clive's feet hit gravel and sand, slowing their fall.

Clive just kept running until he was near the bottom of the former lake. He looked back towards the giant, who was standing at the edge of the lake looking down at them.

"Mind tellin' me what yer plan is now?!"

"Well, with how deep the lake is I figured while we could come down it with the loose gravel and sand, with his size he wouldn't be able to get down as easily, either he would follow us and trap himself down here, or he would give up and walk away. Like he's doing now." Clive explained as they watched the giant wander away from the edge.

"That's all well 'nd good Clive but now 'ow are WE supposed to get out?!" Hamish asked.

"There should be some tree roots we can climb to get out." Clive answered as they made their way to the far edge.

Hamish looked up at the sky as it got dark.

"Um, Clive? I think you should 'urry faster!"

"Why? He left." Clive said.

"Aye, he did. Now he's comin' back!" Hamish said hurriedly as he wrenched Clive's face to look up where a dark spot was above them, and growing bigger.

Clive ran as the now air-borne giant came barreling down on them like a meteor.

With a boom that sounded and felt like a bomb going off the giant landed where Clive and Hamish was seconds ago, sending Clive and the halfling tumbling through the air.

The giant leered down at him and Hamish when they finally landed, now resting against a hollow log.

"It was a good run lad." Hamish said as he started a prayer.

Clive likewise prepared to meet his own maker.

All three of them paused however when they heard something.

CCCCCRRRRRAAAAACCKK!!!!!

Water gushed out of the spot where the giant stood, sending him toppling down. Hamish and Clive breathed a sigh of relief.

Until they noticed the water rushing towards them.