Somewhere, West Virginia, USA.

"I royally fucked up Sloth." Clive confessed as he sat on a stump near the giant.

Since the morning after the Harvest Festival, Clive had initially gone about his business with little worry. But that didn't last long as he soon remembered that he had nothing to do.

Which led to him thinking more and more about what had happened last night, or tried to at least. He couldn't remember much, just a lot of drink, food, and a vague blur of flesh. Which he realized was his intimate, if drunken, night with one Mrs. Longfellow.

He hid his face in his hands in shame and embarrassment. Stupid beer, and stupid body, Clive thought. He was doing so good too in avoiding the thotling. Until last night.

He was just glad that he didn't have a walk of shame at least. Though from the state of the place more than a few people, human and halfling, would be walking away with a few new regrets.

But he knew what was going to happen when he returned. The whorling would no doubt be quick to tell all about their nightly activities. Though given how last night went for everyone, he doubt many would care and it was more to "claim" him publicly. Then there was her husband.

Clive groaned. That was another fitshan he was waiting for. Honestly, at this point he wasn't even entirely sure if he was in on her advances or if he was just blissfully ignorant of the sheer thirst the woman he called his wife was.

What was he even supposed to do, Clive thought as he gazed at the roaring bonfire and the refreshed pile of boar. At this rate they might be downgraded from plague to nuisance.

Should he apologize to the halfling for sleeping with his wife? Is there some halfling etiquette that had to be followed? Then Clive groaned some more when he realized that there was another problem.

He finished inside. That was obvious when he saw what they did under the sheets. From what he's gathered from halfling society, there was now a high likelihood that in a few months he would be a father. There wasn't a chance in hell that she WASN'T going to have his kid, and he doubt the halflings would use the morning after pill even if they knew what it was.

It was all about family for the halflings, no matter how loose their morals were during a festival. So now he had to prepare to hear Mrs. Longfellow flaunt their time together as a social bludgeon. There were other options. But he already felt like an outsider in town and with the halflings. Even suggesting the nuclear option would make him an immediate pariah in both camps and it put a pit in his stomach just to think about it.

Sloth munching and crunching on boar did little to distract him from his troubles. Clive wished he was so simple minded, or at least had a simpler life, as Sloth. He didn't need to worry about getting a baby mama in a drunken haze!

Instead, he sat on his stump and dreaded what he would hear when he returned to the settlement. He doubt it would be anything reprimanding, if anything he would probably be congratulated!

But he didn't want to be congratulated for sleeping with a married woman! A woman that made him feel like he needed to see a doctor soon after! Which is what he did. The first thing he did when he realized he had nothing else pressing to do was speed to town and get checked.

Nothing was immediately confirmed, and he would have to come back for a update in a day or so. Given the halflings medieval lifestyle he wasn't sure what all he had to even worry about. He could rule out HIV/AIDS. He hoped. Then again, halflings could have something that could affect humans!

That was Clive's day so far. Worry, worry, and more worry.

-----

"'Ow could you let this happen Hamish?!" Addie yelled at her husband as he dressed. She had left the tent for a moment for some air and saw Mrs. Carrie Longfellow leaving Clive's tent! Naked!

"Wha' did I let happen?" Hamish said as he tried to pull his britches on.

"'Ow could you let tha' strumpet claim Clive?! You were supposed ta be keepin' him company!"

"Well, dear, I were a wee bit distracted." Hamish said as he pinched his wife's rounded bottom.

Addie smacked it away in frustration.

"One job Hamish! ONE! Keep him company 'nd keep her from gettin' her claws on him durin' tha festival!"

"I think tha's TWO dear." Hamish groaned as he nursed his stinging hand.

"Dinnae be gettin' smart with me Hamish Hambinger! It were already more a chore because o' yer temper, now Stella will 'ave a 'arder time ta get Clive ta court her!"

"She's still a babe! She cannae barely keep her eyes open let alone woo him!"

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"'Nd now she may ne'er be able ta cause o' her! She were tha obvious choice 'fer now! Kilpa's fallen out o' favor, 'nd Carrie... is Carrie. NOW?! Now she's claimed him 'nd no doubt has his children swimmin' in her right now!"

Hamish rolled his eyes.

"Can you please not talk 'bout tha' so early in tha mornin'?"

"Well. If SOMEONE had done wha' I told him to, then I wouldnae be!"

"Look 'ere woman! You dinnae know if anythin' happened last night between them! So why worry?!"

"Cause Hamish. She walked out o' his tent. NAKED! Tha smug smile on her face made it clear EXACTLY wha' it were they did!"

"Fine! Now tha' Mrs. Longfellow has bedded Clive. Wha' is tha plan?"

"We kill her." Addie said simple and plainly.

Hamish rolled his eyes even more.

"You've been sayin' tha' fer years."

"I mean it this time Hamish."

"Been sayin' tha' too." Hamish grumbled as he pulled on a boot.

"If we dinnae do somethin' it's only a matter o' time 'fer her husband gets an "accident" 'nd Clive weds her!"

"I highly doubt either o' those thin's will happen Addie. Fer one. 'Ow is she ta give her husband an "accident"? 'Nd two! Clive wouldnae marry her!"

"You dinnae know tha' Hamish! Thin's change when a babe enters tha mix!"

"Dinnae remind me." Hamish mumbled some more as he searched for the other missing boot. Said boot flew at his head by the furious might of a quite angry wife.

"Get dressed 'nd go talk ta Clive! Make sure wha' he did or didnae do with her!" Addie commanded.

"Fine fine!" Hamish groaned as he kissed Stella, messed Feryl's hair and kissed his still fuming wife. Then he left the tent, a bit relieved to be away of his wife's fury.

-----

Clive meanwhile had left Sloth. He wasn't really in the mood to do much with him other than check on him. He returned to the settlement and made for the main tent, where constant feasting was held regardless of events. It was there that he found what he was looking for.

Beer. Or maybe it was ale. He wasn't sure, he would have to talk to Jeb, or Morty, about the difference in spirits. Regardless, he wanted, no, NEEDED, a big mug to settle his nerves. Or at least help calm his troubled mind.

A big mug, even for a human, of cold frothy swill was placed in front of him and he took a needy swig. He REALLY didn't need more beer. But he didn't have much else that would work at the moment.

As he nursed his drink, and his stormy thoughts, he barely noticed Hamish walk up beside him and take his own seat.

"Wha's tha matter lad?"

"I fucked up." Clive stated.

"Yeah? 'Ow?" Hamish asked as he received his own mug.

"I'm not entirely sure. I was with your family and Sam one moment, and the next I'm waking up bare-ass naked, bed soaked with you-know-what, next to a married woman who I've been avoiding like Uranium!"

"Wha's Yer-aye-nee-yum?"

"Radioactive ore. But that's not the point! What do I do and how do I fix it?!"

"Well, not much. Just hope yer swimmers dinnae take 'nd make better choices in tha future!" Hamish stated with a chuckle.

"Real helpful!"

"Relax! Ifin it's who I think it is. You dinnae 'ave ta worry! She's married! You'll be fine!"

"Really? Just sit back and let her possibly have my kid and watch as someone else raises it?"

"Just a moment ago you were wantin' solutions. Now you sound sad about it!"

"It's complicated alright! I'd potentially be a dad!"

"Just not how you would've wanted?"

"Yeah." Clive said sullenly.

Hamish took a swig and set his mug aside with a sigh.

"Sometimes lad. We dinnae always get our 'appy endin's. Sometimes we 'ave ta make do with wha' we get."

Clive was about to answer but was interrupted as Carrie rushed to his side, and she was crying.

"Oh Cliven! I'm glad I found you!"

"What's wrong?" Clive and Hamish both asked.

"It's my husband! H-h-he..." She choked down a sob.

"Wha' happened?"

-----

23 Minutes Ago.

Carrie stood nude in front of a mirror in her tent. She rubbed a hand over her belly. She could still remember last night, and the climax. She could just feel herself being fertilized by Clive's seed. She shivered as the lewd memories filled her mind as her body started to react.

But her moment was ruined however by her husband waddling around the divider that separated the spouses into their own respective areas of the tent. Her side was larger obviously.

"Oh? A wee bit frisky this mornin' dear?"

She slapped away his grubby hands as he made to fondle her voluptuous body.

"Not now dear! I'm in tha middle o' gettin' presentable fer tha day!"

"O' course dear! I'll leave you ta get fancied up!" He cheered and retreated to his small corner of the tent.

She sneered with disgust. She deserved better than him. But she wasn't high enough status to snag a member of the Big Families. So she had to settle for her husband, who was little more than a medium ranked clerk for the county back home.

What little status he had was gone when they were forced to relocate. Before, she could stomach the pitiful man because of his position. But now he didn't even have that.

But now she didn't have to settle. Now she had Clive's seed running through her womb, she thought as she rubbed her belly. Now she just needed to free herself of some unwanted baggage.

"Dear?" She asked sweetly.

"Yes my love?"

"I think I'd like a bath!" Carrie stated as she made to dress extra warmly, and in black.

"Course dear!" Her husband cheered and made to escort her to the bath, until she pulled away from him and made for the river.

"Dear? Tha bath is this way?"

"I know. But today I feel like a refreshin' dip in tha river!" She claimed and continued to walk towards the river. Her husband simply shrugged and waddled after her.

Before long the spouses sat at the bank. Carrie watched her husband undress and dipped a toe in the cold water.

"You sure you want a dip in here dear?"

"Aye. This'll do nicely." She said darkly.

"I guess it'll be a nice di-"

CRACK!

He didn't get to finish as a branch hit him across the back of the head and he fell into the cold water. Carrie threw the drift wood branch into the water after him and walked back towards the settlement.

After asking around she found Clive at the main tent getting a drink. She smiled and began to sob. She rushed towards Clive. Where she told him what had happened to her husband. Well, except for a very important detail.

"We were by tha river! 'Nd then he fell forward inta tha water!"

"Oh my God! Someone get help!" Clive called and made to go help the poor man. He might feel bad for what he did. But that didn't mean the fatling deserved to die!

"No!" Carrie cried.

Hamish, Clive, and the few others nearby stopped when she did.

"I mean. It'd be too late! He must be dead either from tha cold or tha water by now! He wouldnae want you ta risk yer life fer his corpse!"

"Well. Either way. He deserves a proper burial." Clive stated solemnly.

"Alright e'eryone! We're lookin' fer Mr. Longfellow! He were last seen by-"

"DEAR?!" A voice called out. To the surprise of everyone. Especially Carrie.

"Wha' are you doin' 'ere?!" She cried as her husband, soaked but still very much alive, waddled over and embraced his wife. Soaking her black dress with cold river water.

"I were so worried! After I fell inta tha water everythin' went black! But I woke up just a short distance from our spot! I didnae know 'ow long I was out fer 'nd I were so worried fer you I ran back 'ere ta get help! Only ta find you 'ere gettin' help fer ME instead!" He cried thick tears as he embraced his very surprised wife.

"Well... I'm glad ta see you alright! Clive 'ere were just ready ta jump inta tha water ta save you!" Carrie said through clenched teeth as the water, and her husband, caused her to shake. Either with cold or fury as her plan failed.

The lardling let go of his wife and shook Clive's hand vigorously.

"Thank you lad! Yer a saint sent by tha Harvest Mother Herself!"

Clive meanwhile wasn't sure how to feel. What was he supposed to feel as he shook the hand of the man whos wife he slept with last night? A problem for another time, Clive thought. Now was a time to be, at least outwardly, happy.

"I'm just glad to see your alright! I suggest you go home and rest and warmup!"

"Oh aye! I will! 'Nd I hope my amazin' wife can help with tha'!" He said as he pulled her into another wet embrace. Much to her increasing annoyance.

"I'll... do wha' I can." She said through still gritted teeth.

With that, the two left. Leaving many confused, though glad, halflings and a human that had many things on his mind. But pushed them aside as he sat back down and drunk his beer with Hamish as they made idle chit-chat.

While they did, Hamish looked on at the two retreating halflings with a critical look. Maybe Addie had a point, he thought. But he wasn't going to tell her that!