Somewhere, West Virginia, USA.

Morty watched as Clive pulled into the mine yard, him and the ogres stood near his own SUV waiting. Clive got out of his car and pulled out a bag.

"What's with the bag Clive?" Morty asked when Clive got close.

Clive rolled his eyes.

"Well Morty, since I'm not a biologist and don't have anything for whatever you wanted me to test I had to stop and buy some things."

"Well guess we should get a move one then?" Morty said as he and the sisters lead Clive into the mine. As the elevator descended Clive couldn't help but look at the two sisters that tailed Morty.

"OH! That's rude of me. Clive? This is Orga and Urga, they're ogres from another world and they joined me the other day." Morty said as he introduced the sisters, each nodding to Clive as their names were said.

Clive just looked at the sisters before looking back at Morty like he hit his head.

"Ogres?"

"Yeah. Ogres." Morty stated simply as they reached the bottom and one sister took the lead with Morty and Clive in the middle and the other sister trailing behind.

"You really expect me to believe they're ogres Morty?" Clive said skeptically.

"Well, last I checked Humans don't normally look like they could eat a sixteen-wheeler." Morty plainly said.

Before Clive could retort they entered the goblin shantytown. Clive just stood as he watched the little green buggers running around, some with carts of coal, others with scraps and supplies.

"Welcome to Goblintown!" Morty exclaimed as he gestured grandly like a Ringmaster at a circus.

Clive just looked at Morty with a deadpan expression.

"Goblins?"

"What? You think I have a bunch of leper children slaving away for me? I'm hurt! I'll have you know my moral compass isn't near as bad as people think!" Morty feigned being insulted.

Clive just raised a brow.

"Your right Morty, my mistake. I didn't even know you HAD a moral compass."

Morty clasped his hand against his chest.

"You wound me Clive!"

"I'm about to if you don't tell me what exactly it is I'm supposed to be doing." Clive said as he made to follow his friend.

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"Oh ye of little faith." Morty said as he led Clive to the spawning pool.

As they neared the spawning pool they saw several "new borns" rush by. Morty and the sisters paying them no mind, Clive however, gave each one a critical eye as they ran, bare-assed, by.

They descended the ramp and stood just a few feet from the bubbling pool, the goblin Headman was waiting nearby.

"Boss! You bring da By-olive-jist?" The creature, struggling to pronounce the word, said.

"No, I did not. I DID however bring a friend who has a higher education that might know." Morty said as Clive brushed past him and began to examine the Headman.

"Didn't you go to University Morty?" Clive asked as he pulled out a tape measure and took measurements of the squirming goblin.

Morty just shuffled his feet and rubbed his neck.

"Well yeah, but I don't, you know. Remember much."

"Don't remember or didn't pay attention?" Clive asked as wrote down the measurements, then pulled out a couple cotton swabs and ran one across the goblin's bumpy green skin.

"Not my fault classes were boring." Morty muttered under his breath.

Clive continued his testing, taking samples of the spawning pool. Tests on both the goblin Headman, as well as a few new borns that crawled out. Morty even had the goblins make another, though smaller, spawning pool so Clive could see the process. Though disturbed by the casual slaughter, Clive continued his testing.

Clive went to work actually figuring out what made it all tick when Morty had the goblins bring in a table and chair for him to work on. Though both looked like they wouldn't last long.

After over an hour, and many chair/seat replacements later. Clive finally turned to Morty, who a sister had unceremoniously picked up and held like a doll, with results.

"Comfy?"

Morty just glared as his friend smirked.

"You will NOT speak of this to ANYONE!"

Clive just chuckled as he stretched.

"OK. So first off, your little goblin friends have a enzyme-rich oil on their skin. When they die it works as a natural decomposer. When more than one dies together the enzymes supercharge and it goes into overdrive, the more there are the faster it works, liquefying them and turning them into a literal genepool."

Clive took a breath before continuing.

"The genepool acts as a evolutionary battle royal, each cell of the former goblins duking it out until one gets big enough to emerge."

As Clive said this another goblin crawled from the pool.

"Like the Zerg or Tyranids?" Morty asked from his cozy, though undignified, spot.

"Exactly! They're in this constant state of hyper-aggressive opportunism, always trying to better themselves at the expense of others, even though they "evolved" they're little more than just bacteria with arms and legs." Clive continued.

He took another breath before grabbing a new born and the Headman and stood them next to each other.

"The new ones are smaller at first because they only have so much to work with in the pool, compared to the older ones who are bigger because they get new sources of nutrients to survive longer."

"But wait! If they can evolve like that why aren't there any bigger or smarter ones? Why are they all like this." Morty pointed at the goblins, as if to enforce his point a couple of new borns entered a struggle over... something, and promptly killed each other.

Clive just threw his arms up in exasperation.

"I have no fucking clue Morty! A few days ago my main problems were, what do I eat? And will I wake up? NOW?! I have halflings coming out of train tunnels and my friend wanting me to do science shit on GOBLINS! I'm NOT a scientist! I'm an ENGINEER!"

Clive sat down on his new stool. Though this one was better thrown together and held his weight.

"It wouldn't surprise me at this point to get a call from Jeb saying he has a dragon living in his basement." Clive muttered as he rubbed his face in exhaustion.

Morty just waited while his friend took his time, and batting away the sister's hand as she kept trying to pet his head.

Clive took several deep breaths before he felt good enough to continue.

"As to why they haven't "evolved" past little green pest? I don't know. Best guesses are either they're evolution is simple. Don't fix what isn't broken essentially. Or they've hit some kind of evolutionary bottleneck, or wall, and they simply haven't had the correct order of things needed for them to go further."

"Well, then another question. Say I DONT want anymore goblins. How do I stop the spawning pool?" Morty said as the ogress petted his head, he had given up trying to stop her, and though he wouldn't admit it, it comforted him.

Clive got up and walked over to the pool that had formed from the previous scuffle from the new borns. He pointed at it, then pushed some dirt into the pool with his foot. Morty watched as the pool ceased bubbling.

"Just throw dirt, or anything else that could dilute the pool, and all you have left is a puddle of goblin goo."

"So how many can the pools spawn?" Morty asked.

Clive just shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't know. It could be the same number as the goblins that died, it could be double. OR it could just spawn endlessly for whatever reason! I've given you all that I could."

Morty just nodded his head in understanding. Earning a giggle from the sister that held him as his hair tickled a couple of sensitive spots on her chest.

"That's alright Clive, you did more than I hoped and asked for."

He made to embrace his friend before remembering he was still being held like a toy doll. He sighed.

"Can you put me down Orga."

She groaned in protest. But still sat him back down. Him and Clive hugged briefly before Clive packed up his science stuff. Morty had the "biohazard" stuff destroyed by fire before showing his friend back up the elevator and saw him off as he left the mine.