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The elevator gave a dull ding as it finally reached its destination and the trio of scientists stepped off. In the lead was the head of R&D, with two of his head scientists trailing behind him. One was the lead of this subdivision of R&D and the other was her assistant.
"How has the observations of the goblinoids been coming?" The R&D head asked as they walked through the dull brutalist architecture of the wing they were in.
The lead of this subdivision, which was dedicated to biological R&D, spoke as she tried to keep up with her boss's gait.
"While problematic at first as several tried, and failed, to escape their enclosures, progress has been steady and we have begun simple experimental tests."
"Good." The R&D lead said plainly as they passed through a large solid metal door that rumbled and groaned as it slid to the side and the three were welcome to the view of the R&D Biological wing.
Compared to the brutalist architecture of the vast halls the R&D-B wing was chromatic in comparison. Not by design no, but by the many colors and sounds of the creatures they had in containment that were cleared for experimentation. This wasn't even a tenth of what they had locked away, it was just those deemed safe enough to allow research and observations that weren't behind several floors of concrete, steel, camera lenses, and magic.
Djinn suppressed by ancient wards gathered from the depths of the Arabian Desert glared out as researchers asked dozens of questions through the thickly inscribed glass separating them all from the creatures even as whatever element the Djinn resonated with rages around the sealed room. Wind rattled and fire raged or the room shook or flooded. But none of it fazed the researchers who continued in their task despite the calamitous beings just on the other side of the glass.
Formorian giants from the Scottish Highlands screamed and yelled profane curses as they smashed against the glass in futile hopes of killing those that had trapped them. The glass barely so much as vibrated against the primordial giant's strength.
Rugaru from the Louisiana Bayou had amicable talks with researchers when they exhausted themselves from their lycanthropic change. Only to shift mid sentence and begin clawing and swiping at their containment for a few minutes before shifting back and resuming their talks like nothing had happened.
R&D-B was a zoo that held the mythical and fantastical. If something from human legends and folklore was known to actually exist, they had one in their walls behind several miles of solid concrete and steel and enough runes and sigils to make the dwarven runepriests envious.
But the lead of R&D wasn't interested in all the things that he had seen dozens of times when he would stop in. He wanted to see the two new additions to their magical menagerie.
So they passed glass covered in Japanese binding spells with howling Yokai inside, raging Oni, pissed off Deep Ones, and right to an enclosure that held dozens of little green goblinoids and a bubbling pool in the center.
"Tell me what you have so far." The R&D head commanded.
The R&D-B lead coughed and went over and stood beside the glass, earning the attention of the goblins within as they began screaming and yelling within.
"Even though we have ample specimens of the goblinoids to conduct research, field observations have proven correct in that it only takes at least two goblins to perish in order to start the enzyme sequence."
"Explain."
"If a single goblin dies then it just rots away like anything else. But if more than one dies within close enough proximity to one another then this enzyme rich oil they have on their skin activates and liquifies the two or more corpses into a genepool, allowing the species to produce more of their own, even more compared to those that may have died to create the pool in the first place."
She turned and gestured to the pool and the goblins that banged on the glass.
"For instance, this is Test Group B."
"B?"
"Yes, B. Test Group A was sacrificed after initial observations and testing in order to make the genepool. Which allowed us to observe the reaction and confirm the field reports firsthand."
"Excellent. Proceed."
She pointed to the pool.
"While the pool may be able to spawn a seemingly endless supply of the goblinoids, they are noticeably smaller than the others. Those recently spawned from the pool are either immediately cannibalized by their bigger and more developed brethren or are able to fight off any early challengers and survive a little while longer."
"Which isn't very long." The R&D-B assistant muttered.
The lead coughed.
"Yes, their life cycle is rather... abrupt. So far we have averaged their lifespan at between fourteen hours and eighteen hours. However, it doesn't matter. A couple die then the cycle repeats."
The R&D head hummed.
"So how would we deal with such a issue?"
The lead shrugged her shoulders.
"We don't know. The best we've come up with was to destroy the pools by heavily diluting them and killing them off with fire or acid. But if even two somehow managed to survive then we would be right back to square one."
"So we have small violent cockroaches. How lovely." The head said in a tired tone.
The lead winced.
"That isn't all."
She led him over to another cage, leaving the average looking goblins to scream and yell as they left. They arrived and were immediately met with snarling savages. They scratched and clawed and even tried to bite at the glass. She gestured to the ferals who had an obvious feral look in there eyes compared to the last as well as a more rugged look to them such as more hair for warmth.
"Field teams have been calling these "feral goblins". An appropriate designation."
"Fitting, but how are they different from the last?"
"These are entirely devoid of any sort of interaction with anyone other than their own groups. They are wild and aggressive, even for other goblinoids. The last batch has had small interactions with researchers, but these have been isolated from all contact even after arriving. All such goblinoids become such when they are isolated like this."
"Why is that?"
"Because they are like cultural sponges. They imitate and bastardize what they might see as a way of life that will allow a greater chance at survival. For these it has been just a continuation of their survival of the fittest lifestyle. The last group seems to have a basic grasp of tools and even building crude buildings. But these can barely fashion simple tools or crude huts just to survive the wild."
She led them over to another enclosure where a pack of gray-skinned goblins seemed to flee from their approach and hid within the meager shadows in the corners.
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"These are the same as the last, except they have adapted to life in an urban environment. Their skin has changed to match that of concrete and brick or asphalt and they rely on ambush tactics in their hunting."
The R&D head rubbed his face as he stared at the beady-eyed goblins that hissed from the corners of the room.
"Let me guess, this is something common among their kind?"
The lead nodded her head.
"We have already received reports of other incidents of goblinoids that have adapted to their environments in order to better survive. Some have grown gills, webbed digits, and fins to survive closer to water. Others have grown thick whitish hair that covered their bodies in colder areas. Some have brownish skin and sharp claws for climbing to blend into canyons and other rocky areas."
"What a nightmare. They're worse than cockroaches."
"Indeed. Even the more "civilized" goblinoids are remarkable to behold in how they go through such evolutionary changes so quick. Their skin and even ways of thinking changes to reflect what they are exposed to." She remarked as she led them over to a pen where a group of goblins with blue skin, beards, and what looked like four arms babbled to one another in what sounded like bastardized Hindi.
"These for instance were given resources from India. While some didn't care for it, some did. We rewarded those that took to the material with extra food and water and saw how fast the whole group was quick to mimic them. Before long, the whole group had begun to copy the others and have all but cast aside their former ways for a way that has been deemed to them as the path to survival.
"Why are their skins blue?" The head asked.
"We think it, as well as the four arms, are because of their fixation on the depiction of Shiva within the materials we provided. We have noticed similar changes to those exposed to Kappa as well, they developed flatter heads to carry water in an effort to copy them. These have copied the appearance to Shiva."
"Do all of them go through such an extreme change?"
"No. For some it's simply a mentality that they absorb. For others they go through a physical change as well."
The R&D head watched as a group of them noticed them and stood before walking over and actually started bowing to them. They had started to grow beards and wore rough turbans and robes. They said something in Hindi to them through the glass. The head looked to the lead scientist.
"They are asking if we would like to join them for supper. I think."
The head shook his head at the Shiva-like goblinoids. They bowed and returned to what they were doing before. The lead spoke as she pointed to a group to the far back that didn't have beards and was starting to look noticeably feminine.
"We have also noticed that after so long in a state of relative safety they begin to forsake their genepool method of reproduction and move to more traditional biological reproduction."
The head watched the group a bit more as a researcher entered from a side room into the enclosure and deposited several bundles of silk and wool. The Shiva goblins bowed their heads and babbled to the researcher before they began to gather the silks and wools and began to use their four arms to weave and thread them into clothes and prayer mats with simple tools given to them.
"So is it possible to "civilize" the goblinoids then?" The head asked as the lead led them away.
"We believe so. Based on reports from the field teams as well as our own experimentations we believe that despite their violent nature that they can be easily assimilated into larger society with the right methods."
"What about the reports of those from Somewhere? Don't we have several other of these evolutionary strands?"
"Yes. What the field teams have reported as dragues, roughly translated as dredgers, a slave caste of the goblinoids at the Duval Estate."
"No others? I heard there were at least four weren't there?"
"Yes. Unfortunately acquiring them has proven difficult and the field teams have had little opportunities to acquire them. Those designated as "Red Caps" are rarely ever alone for long and are fiercely militaristic. The field teams do not have any hopes of acquiring a living subject. Those reported as being called "Noble Goblins" are the same in that they are rarely ever alone or in a position long enough for the teams to seize one."
"Wasn't there another? Some sort of leafy goblin?"
"Yes. They reside within a hedge maze on the estate grounds. Acquiring a few was simple." The lead said but then paused.
"But?"
"But, after they had left the vicinity of the hedge they became overtly, almost rabidly, aggressive and had to be put down for the team's safety. Those that were able to be captured and secured safely eventually went catatonic after being away from the hedge for so long and eventually withered away and perished before they could even be put onto a transport."
"So the only ones we have acquired from Somewhere were the labor caste goblinoids?"
"Yes sir."
"Unfortunate. What can you report on them?"
"No much. They are very much servile menials. They obey all orders given and the only time they have shown any sort of aggression towards anyone other than each other is when we have sent researchers into the enclosures to assist them in their tasks as part of a reaction experiment. Only then did they act hostile to us. We figure that since they see them as fellow menials that they are now on par with them and are subject to the same treatment as one another."
"Would it be possible to reverse the changes that they or others have gone through?"
"Not that we have been able to achieve no. As far as we can tell these changes are permanent and there hasn't been any progress in reversing them. Not even incentivizing them is enough to reverse it."
The R&D head hummed in thought as they continued on their way. Eventually they arrived at a small sealed door that pinged and opened as the trio entered through and were led to a larger enclosure where a small group of stone trolls wandered around.
"Here we have some of the troll specimens acquired by our containment teams. They are simple creatures related to those residing within Scandinavia and handling them should be the same."
"Related how?"
"They are both trolls. Skin turns to stone when in contact with the sun. Able to regenerate whole limbs. Aside from a few obvious evolutionary differences, they are the same."
"Are you saying that trolls from our world somehow crossed to theirs? Or that the trolls here are from there?"
"We don't know. We don't have enough information to even accurately guess. It's possible given the biological similarities between not just these trolls but between the humans that have crossed over and us, that either we are originally from their world, or they are originally from ours."
"Explain."
"We can't be two separate species. There are too many common traits and genes for that to be a possibility. Which means we are the same one. As to how this is possible? We don't know. It could be that some of the disappearances throughout history have actually crossed over to another world. This is the popular theory as those in Somewhere have reported histories and stories that appear similar to Minoan Greek and even Medieval Ireland."
"But they aren't from Ancient Greece or Medieval Ireland are they?"
"No. While it is entirely possible for someone from our world to have crossed over to theirs in some fashion. It seems unlikely that ALL of the humans from that world somehow descend from those that have vanished throughout history. More than likely they just developed similar cultures and religions the same way we did. For instance this Blessed Mother of theirs, Goddess of light and goodness? Pick any culture here on earth and you are likely to meet a similar god or goddess."
"So what exactly does this all mean?"
"We don't have a fucking clue. There are hundreds of theories throughout the division and probably more in others. The best educated guess we can even say with any measure of credibility is that the humans of their world are the same species as us and the reason for that is that a group from our world or the other crossed over somehow, somewhere at sometime."
"Then a topic to hand off to the Records Division?"
"With pleasure. Thoughts of interdimensional travel and parallel evolution are not my specialty."
"Fair enough. The rest of the troll specimens then?"
"Thank you." The lead said as she led them to the other enclosures.
She gestured to a group of fishlike looking trolls that waddled around on webbed feet as they grunted and snapped at one another.
"Compared to the goblinoids, the trolls we have acquired have basic and rather simple evolutions. These are adapted to living in swamps or wetlands. We have also observed them creating fetishes that they use to inflict crippling curses. Something the field team has documented when the trolls attacked the Duval Estate."
"Suggestions on how to handle them?"
"Stick them in the middle of a swamp or fetid wetland and wash our hands of them. They are few in number and are solitary save for small tribes. Other than that it doesn't seem like they will be an active problem in the future unless someone goes traipsing through the swamp or a county wants to do some land reclamation."
She led them over to another where a group of large mossy haired creatures huddled around. The head asked as he observed their almost human like reactions.
"Are these the goblinized humans?"
"No. These are the forest variety troll. They are smarter and have a, albeit crude and primitive, form of speech that we can understand."
"Unfortunate. How do we deal with them then?"
"I suggest capture and relocation to particularly isolated areas where they are less likely to be a threat. Other than that, simple troll protocols should suffice. They are smarter and faster but they are still trolls.
She then led them over to a containment cell that DID have a bugbear held within. As they got closer they could hear someone singing Solidarity Forever. From within was the prone form of a bugbear as he laid on the ground in a fetal position.
"Is that?"
"Yes. Most of the ones are far too fast and stealthy and rarely are alone enough to quickly and effectively capture. But we have observed some going to a cave to the east of the estate for some time now. So our teams followed and found a single one of the goblinized humans within."
"Fascinating. What have you discovered so far?"
"Not as much as we would like. The others are observed and reported to be human in all but appearance save for a few strange quirks that we attribute to the goblinization process. But this one is little more than a animal. When it isn't raging or eating it's crying and singing union songs."
"Have you tried to rehabilitate it?"
"Yes, but our efforts have had little noticeable success."
"A pity. I would have loved to know how the process works and what they experianced while within the pool."
"We could try to approach the others and question them?"
"No. Continue your efforts in rehabilitating this one and give me reports on your progress. Though I doubt this one will know what had happened to it on a molecular level I doubt even more the others would be so willingly inclined to answer such questions."
"Yes sir." The lead stated and they continued on their way.
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"What a fucking mess." The agency lawyer said as he snuffed out his 8th cigarettes.
"I know. And they want US to come up with a plan." His partner said before sipping down a cup-o-joe.
"Hey guys! We have this massive fucking migration of people that we need to keep in one place so we need you to come up with something in legalese for the suits up top so hop to it!" Another said in a mimicking tone.
"No of course boss! We'll get right on it! What's that? You want it by the end of the month? Of course! You want your shoes shined as well? Maybe for us to suck your di-"
"That better be the sound of legal documents being drafted I hear!" Came a voice from a office above the rotund room the agency lawyers found themselves slaving away in.
"Yes boss!" The four lawyers called up.
The door slammed shut and the group of worn, tired, and much too overworked lawyers went back to paging through sections of US legal code from State to Federal to Territorial and everything in-between.
"Anyone found anything yet?"
"Not since the last time you asked."
"Oh come on! It shouldn't be this fucking hard!"
"Drafting legal documents that essentially forces a large group of people into a certain space isn't exactly easy!"
"Why? Not like the government hasn't done it before!"
"Yes, but we aren't supposed to do that now!"
"Yet we do! The agency made a whole reservation on the west coast for those little turtle fellas from Japan after the war didn't it?"
"So what I'm hearing is that you want us to just pop a tribal reservation out of our asses so we can legally justify keeping over seventy thousand people in one place?"
"We've done it before! Maybe not with that many, but why can't we do it again?!"
The group of lawyers looked to one another as the idea fermented between them. Eventually one of them spoke up.
"Someone get the files for the reses as well as records of all the tribes that inhabited the area around Somewhere."
"What if there aren't any tribes?"
"Problem for another day. Get those files so we can give the bosses something to chew on so we can get some fucking sleep!"