Halfling Colony.

"How are you feeling Mr... Hartfallow?" Dr. Zhu asked the halfling sitting before her on a medical table while her assistants surrounded and observed the interaction.

The halfling scratched at the whiskers on his fatty neck.

"Well, pretty good all thin's considerin'."

"No shortness of breath? No problems with your heart?" Dr. Zhu asked as the sounds of scribbling filled the air as her assistants wrote down everything.

"Nope! 'Eart's as strong as a pony's! Though I've been a wee bit winded o' late."

Dr. Zhu perked up at that.

"Oh? When did it start?"

"Oh... maybe a month er so. Missus says it's tha tobacco. But I think it's just tha dreary weather."

Dr. Zhu let out an irritated breath through her nose as she glared at the halfling.

"Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Hartfallow. If there isn't anything more to report you are free to leave."

"Well I do 'ave this crick in me spine. Should I be concerned?" The halfling asked as he was pushed more than escorted out.

"Maybe eat more greens and less meat." Dr. Zhu said to the halfling as the flap to her medical tent was sealed behind him.

She groaned as she took a seat at her desk. Seven test subjects and not one had any side-effects. How was she supposed to control their numbers if even purposefully giving them heart and lung disease was all but impossible?! Sure it wasn't her official assignment to do so. But surely the agency had reviewed her request and advice. They must have just forgotten to put it in her current folder.

So she'll continue. A sterility drug was her last resort. But she was loath to resort to such a blunt method so soon. She was a top doctor and scientist! She could figure out how to limit these diminutive hominids reproduction without resorting to such measures! Yet, she thought as she went over her notes.

Despite the fact that they were all obese, some even morbidly so, none have shown signs or even succumbed to heart and lung disease yet was both a medical marvel and a future problem. From her observations their numbers have almost doubled as several births have already occurred in the short time they've been here and several more look to be on the way soon. Those that recently gave birth were already talking about having more!

If she couldn't figure out a method of keeping their population in check they'll outbreed, and outeat, most of the population of the state within a matter of years! Not to mention what they'll be at in a decade!

Yet despite their obesity they have proven to be quite resistant to disease. She has observed them eating raw, or at the least barely cooked, meat! While when asked about cannibalism was met with outrage and shock, she wouldn't put it past them if they ate their own if/when they run out of food.

As if her annoyance at the halfling constitution wasn't bad enough, since her arrival she had been approached by several would-be suiters! The way they sought to court her offended her. Suggesting that they could turn her into a "lovely housewife" and suggested that she could be a "fertile mother"! Not only that but several threw out family names like they were supposed to mean something to her. Hogswattle, Uphoffer, Underhill, Rivertrodder. As if any of those were supposed to tempt her to throw herself into their beds and bear their children.

She figured such a seemingly traditional society would alienate or even wish her to leave. But from her own courting as well as observances of several human-halfling pairings, it would seem that they weren't above racemixing. Though she had yet to see what a human halfling pairing might produce. She would figure it wouldn't work out and no such union would see fruits for their labors. But she had already been stumped by the halfling biology so it wasn't out the realm of possibility that they would be able to conceive. Though that also broached the topic of what such a offspring would look like? Would it be a shorter than average human? A taller than average halfling? Would it be a 50-50 if it's a halfling or human?

She pinched her nose. She wished she had Agent Mason's assignment. He would have more in common with these bloated locusts that's for sure, she thought.

"All that biodiversity and marvels of biological science going to waste. Yet here I am. Trying to give these creatures asthma and hypertension."

Not that she was just experimenting. Her official assignment was also to treat and inoculate the locals against any diseases. Common Cold, Smallpox, Measles. The usual. A separate team was being set up in town for the same purpose, but these creatures were her assignment so it fell to her to see to it that they wouldn't die off overnight from the sniffles.

Even the giant in the woods couldn't sate her scientific mind. It was a giant, and yet she found little fascination. It slept, it woke up, it ate it's weight and then some in wild boar, and then it slept. It hadn't even been observed going to the bathroom! They could sneak up on it no problem, but trying to take blood or even skin samples was useless. It's skin was too tough and thick for their needles to pierce. Their only means of acquiring samples was to fly a drone up to the face and take a sample from the ear. But all attempts were thwarted by a massive hand easily batting away the several million dollar drones.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

The turtle people by the lake were also rather annoying to deal with. They were eager to help, but yet proved frustrating when trying to get skin, shell, and blood samples. Something would always happen that would prevent them from doing so. One would come by to distract another, causing them to turn just enough that collecting a sample was always interrupted. A strong wind would blow the syringe out of their hands and smash it on a rock or shell before it was properly secured. It happened so often that she figured it was intentional.

She was brought out of her annoyed musings by a particularly obnoxious halfling that had yet to be deterred by her blunt refusals to copulate with him as he fumbled and tried to force his way into the medical tent.

"'Ello my sweet turnip! Did you miss me?"

"Like I miss malaria." Dr. Zhu muttered.

"Malaria? Is tha' where yer from? Sounds lovely!" The halfling cheered as he finally undid the clasps that held the flaps closed and sauntered in.

Dr. Zhu bit back a retort. She was a doctor, a professional, she wasn't going to let him break the careful veneer she had.

"What do you want now Mr. Hogswattle?"

The halfling gripped his chest and winced in pain.

"Why it's my 'eart! I can feel tha pain! It's unbearable!"

Dr. Zhu looked at the halfling with a deadpan expression.

"And what is the problem?"

"I think it's because YOU 'ave it?! Oh tha pain is excretin'!" He said as he fell to his pudgy knees.

"Excruciating."

"Aye tha'! If only you would be so kind as ta give me yers in return! Only then would it be elevated!" He held out his fat fingered hand towards the doctor.

"Alleviated."

"Aye tha'!"

"No." She replied bluntly before having her assistants escort Mr. Hogswattle away.

"Oh my dear! If you dinnae do somethin' soon I'll expire!"

"If only I were that fortunate." Dr. Zhu stated as the tent was resealed.

The halfling continued to switch between flirting and crying in false pain as Dr. Zhu groaned in annoyance.

-----

Clive crawled from his tent with a groan. Maybe he should've gotten the guys to build him something more suited for him. Not that he wasn't appreciative of the tent, but it was just barely able to hold him and his cot.

He made his way over to the feasting tent for some breakfast, hopefully without the frothy warm goatmilk. On his way there though he heard a commotion near the entrance to the colony. Still tired but curious he left to investigate. As he neared he could hear raised voices.

"Yer kind aren't welcome 'ere!"

"Oh? Well our boss says we are! And what our boss wants, he gets! So move aside peck!"

Clive wandered over to where a trio of rough and gruff humans were squaring up with the two guards on duty. The halflings were acting brave, but it was obvious that they didn't have it in them to try and take on three human toughs. So Clive shouted and made his way over.

"Hey! Man says you're not welcome!"

"Oh? What man? All we see here is a buncha field mice! Ain't that right boys?" The lead tough stated to a couple chuckles from his cohorts.

"I think you should leave them alone and piss off back home." Clive said as he stood beside the two halflings.

The thug got into Clive's space and squared up to him.

"Or what, boy? What are you and these moles goin' to do, huh? Throw some potatoes at us? Maybe make us a nice pie?"

The two others laughed as they sauntered over and pushed aside the two halfling guards as they joined their leader in almost surrounding Clive. The leader sneered and leaned towards Clive's face until he could see his rotted teeth and smell the gingivitis.

"Here's what's gonna happen boy. You and your gopher friends here are gonna pay up to Lord Myrle from now on, got it?"

"Or what? You'll breath on me some more?" Clive retorted.

The leader snarled and grabbed Clive's shirt.

"Why you mouthy lil shit! I'll show you not to mess with me!"

The leader pulled a balled fist back. But he stopped when a voice called out.

"Hey?! What's goin' on?!"

The three toughs, Clive, and the two halflings looked to where some of the human workers had arrived early. They wielding hammers, wrenches, and chains as they looked at them. The leader just smiled innocently and let go of Clive.

"Nothin'. Just havin' a nice friendly chat, ain't we boys?"

The two other toughs nodded and chuckled. The leader pushed Clive back, causing him to fall. The leader turned to Clive as the two halflings tried to help him up.

"We'll be back, you and these gourds with legs better have some coin ready by then. Or it won't just be me and my boys here that'll pay you a little visit next time."

The leader glowered down at Clive before him and his friends left, shoving past the human workers with laughs and glares. The humans glared back before rushing to help Clive.

"What happened?"

"Those ner-do-wells showed up! Tryin' ta shake us fer coin! Tha hoods!" One of the guards stated as a crowd began to form as the event had passed.

"I'll round up tha Families." The other guard said as he left to do so.

"What's gonna happen?" One of the humans asked as they ran to help Clive.

"They'll come up with somethin' on 'ow ta deal with 'em! We aren't no migrants now! We 'ave a proper 'ome again 'nd we'll teach 'em wha' fer!" The guard declared with cheers from the crowd.

"You lil folk shouldn't be worryin' about folks like that, let us handle 'em." One of the human workers said as representatives of the Families arrived, with Fallmeadow himself being carted up to the scene.

"Nonsense! We're no cowards! We 'ave Fallmeadow 'imself 'ere! 'Nd with 'im 'ere we'll show 'em not ta mess with us halflin's!" The guard declared with chants and cheers.

Fallmeadow himself cheered and waved as well, though Clive noted that his usual joyous smile wasn't as full and seemed almost forced. He met Clive's eyes and he knew that something wasn't right. But before he could say anything to the lardling, Fallmeadow was swept up in praises and cheers as he was wheeled away for yet more feasting and asked to retell tales from when he was fighting the elves for the halfling's independence.

Just like that, the brittle façade that Clive saw was gone in an instant, and the image of the great halfling hero took it's place. Representatives of the Big Families stayed close to Fallmeadow and were talking in hushed voices with him, but Clive couldn't hear any of it over the cheers and cries of the halflings as they continued to rally around their hero and hear his tales of valor and glory.

Clive watched the halflings leave. Him and the other humans watched the whole thing with looks of worry and disbelief.

"They can't honestly be thinkin' about takin' on those lot can they?"

"You'd be surprised what having a hero in their midst will do to people." Clive stated.

"Still, even if they win, it'll get bloody."

"Yeah. Have you seen or heard from Sam yesterday or today?"

"Nope. Nothin'."

Damn, Clive thought. Maybe he's taking Jeb leaving harder than he thought? He'll pay him a visit later. For now he has to deal with these thugs before the halflings charge into a fight they can't handle.

"Get as many of our guys together and we'll come up with a plan to deal with them ourselves."

The human workers nodded and went on their way back to work until more of them arrived. Clive just hoped they could get something figured out before the halflings charge into a possible meatgrinder. He doubt the cops could help given they're probably dealing with the situation in town to come out here and deal with some thugs.

He briefly thought of Kilpa and perhaps asking her for help. But given her state of mind right now it would probably be best to handle it themselves. While he could ask Morty if his goblins could handle it, he was hesitant at best. It was just as likely the halflings would see the goblins as a threat just as much as the goons if they showed up to defend them.

No, Clive thought. It would have to be them. He just hoped that they could scare off, or even just beat them back enough that they wont come back. But from the looks of them, it might be that they'll need to deal with their sorts. Permanently.