[Setting]
Elliot and Claire are strolling through a park, taking in the crisp afternoon air. Claire is carrying a cup of hot tea, and Elliot has his hands stuffed into his pockets, trying to ward off the cold. They’re chatting casually about nothing in particular—work, books, maybe the ducks by the pond—when the unmistakable voice of the god of coincidence booms out from behind them.
Coincidence (cheerfully): “Elliot! Claire! My favorite two people to just happen upon in the middle of an otherwise entirely predictable afternoon!”
Elliot groans slightly, closing his eyes as if praying for patience.
Elliot (mumbling): “Why does this keep happening?”
Claire turns, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the god, who’s approaching with a broad grin and a small, battered satchel slung over one shoulder.
Claire (smiling): “Oh, come on, Elliot. You have to admit it’s never boring when he’s around.”
The god reaches them and makes an exaggerated gesture of pulling something out of the satchel—it’s an acorn, slightly chipped and worn.
Coincidence (holding the acorn aloft as if it’s the holy grail): “Behold! The very acorn that started it all.”
Elliot (raising an eyebrow, confused): “Started what?”
Coincidence (nodding, gravely): “Ah, an excellent question. A story, dear Elliot—a tale of love, tragedy, and possibly an ill-advised encounter with a very confused squirrel.”
Claire and Elliot exchange a glance—Claire is clearly intrigued, while Elliot is already bracing himself for whatever nonsense is about to follow.
Coincidence: “It all began in a small clearing, much like the one just beyond that hill—only not that one, obviously, because that one is far too inhabited by the local duck mafia. But it was a similar clearing where two acorns, star-crossed, fell from neighboring branches.”
Elliot (sighing): “Are we really doing this?”
Claire (smiling, nudging Elliot): “Shh, let him tell it. I’m curious where this is going.”
The god of coincidence beams at Claire, appreciating her encouragement, and continues.
Coincidence: “These two acorns—let’s call them Alastair and Beatrice—were no ordinary acorns. They were destined to meet, to roll, to tumble together through the underbrush in a fateful journey that would change everything. Or at least… change the arrangement of leaves in that particular clearing.”
Claire (grinning): “Beatrice and Alastair? That’s romantic.”
Coincidence (enthusiastically nodding): “Oh, indeed it was! You see, Beatrice fell first, landing in a patch of soft moss. She lay there, content, until—whoosh—a gust of wind sent Alastair tumbling down from his branch, rolling across the clearing to land right beside her. They bumped together, a little awkwardly at first—after all, one can’t always be elegant when rolling downhill—but it was a moment of true serendipity.”
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Elliot (frowning): “So… acorns fell. That’s the story?”
Coincidence (shaking his head with mock disappointment): “Oh, Elliot, my friend. That was just the beginning. For Alastair and Beatrice, this encounter led to an incredible adventure—dodging squirrels, nearly being picked up by an overzealous hiker, and even briefly being mistaken for decorative cake toppers by a particularly ambitious family of ants.”
Claire (giggling): “Wait, cake toppers?”
Coincidence (leaning in conspiratorially): “Oh yes, ants are surprisingly creative. They made a whole elaborate setup—tiny banners, a dance floor. It was a real acorn wedding.”
Elliot (blinking, baffled): “So… what’s the point?”
Coincidence (grinning widely): “The point, Elliot, is that every little tumble leads somewhere! Alastair and Beatrice rolled along, from adventure to adventure, until one day, they settled beside a stream—a place where they found some measure of peace. It’s the kind of journey that brings people—or acorns—closer together. Just like two people who keep finding themselves in each other’s company—coincidentally, of course.”
The god pauses dramatically, and Claire leans in slightly, curious.
Claire: “And then what happened?”
Coincidence: “Then, my dear Claire, a squirrel found them and buried them, but that’s hardly the exciting part.”
Elliot (incredulously): “Wait, that’s it? The end?”
Coincidence (smiling mischievously): “No, not the end. Because the true end of the story isn’t about Alastair and Beatrice at all. It’s about what their story represents—a journey, a series of coincidences that lead to something new, something unexpected. Like today.”
Claire (smiling): “Today?”
The god of coincidence gives a grin that suggests they’ve been holding back the true punchline.
Coincidence: “Indeed! Today, Elliot, Claire—today is a day for something a little out of the ordinary, don’t you think? For while Alastair and Beatrice found each other through the tumble of fate, so too have I come to realize that some things are better experienced together. Which brings me to my question… how about a double date?”
Elliot (jaw dropping): “A what?”
Claire (stunned, blinking): “A double date? You mean… like us… and… you?”
Coincidence (nodding, eyes twinkling with delight): “Oh yes! A double date! You two, myself, and… well, a companion I think you’ll find rather delightful. I promise there will be no squirrels involved. Or at least, none that are planning anything.”
Elliot (still stunned, shaking his head): “You’re serious? You want to go on a date? With us?”
Coincidence (grinning ear to ear): “Absolutely. Dinner, conversation, maybe a dramatic retelling of Beatrice and Alastair’s adventure—though with more embellishments this time. It’ll be an evening of coincidence, connection, and possibly a very good soup.”
Claire (still processing, a slow smile spreading across her face): “Well… I mean, why not, right? It could be fun.”
Elliot (staring at Claire, then back at the god, bewildered): “This… might actually be the strangest thing you’ve ever asked me to do.”
Coincidence (patting Elliot on the shoulder): “Ah, Elliot, that’s the spirit of adventure talking! Besides, the best adventures are the ones you never see coming.”
Claire (grinning at Elliot): “Come on, Elliot. It could be a fun story to tell.”
Elliot (groaning): “Yeah… because we definitely need more of those.”
Coincidence (clapping hands together, delighted): “It’s settled, then! I’ll send you the exact time and place through a series of incredibly coincidental signs. Just keep an eye out—you never know when an acorn might fall your way.”
With a cheerful wave, the god of coincidence saunters off, humming a jaunty tune, leaving Elliot and Claire standing there, still processing what just happened.
Claire (laughing softly, nudging Elliot’s arm): “So… a double date with a god. How does that sound on your list of weirdest experiences?”
Elliot (sighing, shaking his head, but smiling just a little): “I think it’s definitely in the top five. Maybe top three.”
Claire (grinning): “I can’t wait to see what happens.”
Elliot (groaning playfully): “Yeah, well, as long as there aren’t any squirrels.”
Claire (teasing): “No promises.”
[End Scene]
[retcon:1]