[Setting: A Divine Observatory, Mid-Crisis]
The gods are gathered in an ornate celestial chamber, where vast cosmic gears grind ominously. The universe teeters on the edge of collapse due to an incomprehensible error—a lever stuck in the wrong position. The gods argue about how to fix it, and amidst their bickering, the goat wanders in.
Scene 1: The Debate
Conundrum (frustrated, gesturing at the lever): “It’s a simple problem, but not a simple solution! If we pull it too far, we implode a galaxy. Too little, and time skips like a broken record.”
Felicity (examining her nails, smirking): “Oh, please. You’re overthinking it. I’d say just yank it, but where’s the fun in that?”
Coincidence (leaning against the wall, flipping a coin idly): “Ah, but isn’t this the perfect moment for a little... serendipity?”
Serendipity (materializing with a flourish): “Did someone call for me? Oh, look, the lever’s still stuck. Fascinating!”
Claire (whispering to Elliot): “Why do I feel like this is going to get worse before it gets better?”
Elliot (grimacing): “Because it always does.”
Scene 2: Enter the Goat
Amidst the escalating debate, the door creaks open. The goat ambles in, utterly unconcerned. Its presence goes unnoticed at first, but Felicity narrows her eyes, then smirks knowingly.
Felicity (nudging Coincidence): “Look who decided to join us.”
Coincidence (not looking up): “Ah, the goat. Just in time, as always.”
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Conundrum (exasperated): “What is it doing here? This is a cosmic crisis, not a petting zoo!”
Serendipity (grinning): “Coincidence? Accident? Or... fate?”
The goat wanders toward the lever, sniffing around.
Scene 3: The Sprawling Narrative
Coincidence (finally standing straight, arms outstretched): “Let me tell you a story. Once, there was a farmer who raised a goat. A goat much like this one—stubborn, clever, and completely indifferent to the rules of nature.”
Elliot (groaning): “Oh no, here we go.”
Coincidence (ignoring him): “This goat, you see, was destined for greatness. Or dinner. Hard to tell in the early days. But one day, this farmer flipped a coin to decide the goat’s fate. Heads, it lived. Tails, well...” (pauses dramatically) “...you can guess.”
Serendipity (interjecting): “And the coin landed on its edge.”
Coincidence (grinning): “Exactly. So the goat lived, the farmer went bankrupt, and somehow, the cosmos became... brighter. Or heavier. Depends on your perspective.”
Felicity (leaning in, mock whispering): “And wouldn’t you know it, that goat kept showing up in all the right places.”
Claire (frowning): “What does that even mean?”
Serendipity (smiling): “It means some stories don’t end. They just keep folding in on themselves, like... well, coincidence.”
Scene 4: The Lever is Pulled
The goat nudges the lever. The gears groan, then grind to a halt, reversing their motion. The entire chamber fills with a low hum, like the universe exhaling after holding its breath for millennia. The ominous grinding fades into harmony, and balance is restored.
Elliot (staring, slack-jawed): “Did... did that goat just fix the universe?”
Conundrum (staring at the goat, then back at the lever): “Impossible. That’s—no. That’s just random.”
Coincidence (beaming): “Random, yes. And entirely necessary. That’s the thing about goats—they don’t need to understand their purpose to fulfill it.”
Serendipity (patting Conundrum on the shoulder): “Don’t worry, darling. Maybe the real conundrum is why you ever doubted it.”
The goat munches on a stray piece of paper, entirely oblivious to its role in saving existence.
Scene 5: The Aftermath
As the gods and mortals disperse, Elliot lingers, staring at the goat.
Elliot (muttering): “So... it’s ‘The One.’”
Coincidence (walking by, throwing an arm around him): “Perhaps. Or perhaps it’s just a goat. But isn’t it delightful that we’ll never really know?”
The goat lets out a contented bleat.
[End Scene]
[retcon:1]