[Setting]

A moonlit desert, where the stars spill across the sky like a spilled box of diamonds. The air hums faintly with the vibrations of something unseen, something old. Elliot sits cross-legged on a faded blanket, his eyes darting nervously between the Coincidence, Serendipity, and a lanky man with a patchwork guitar case slung over his back: the Wanderer. The faint strains of music hover in the air, elusive but magnetic.

A soft rustling sound draws Elliot’s attention to the side, where a goat—yes, a goat—chews diligently on a piece of parchment. It looks suspiciously like an old, crinkled map.

Elliot (pointing): “Okay, first of all, why is there always a goat? And second, is that… the map?”

Coincidence (grinning): “Ah, the map. Could be. Then again, could just be a menu from that diner two towns over. Funny how goats have a way of chewing on important things, isn’t it?”

Serendipity (laughing lightly): “Important to who, though? That’s the real question.”

Elliot: “It’s a map. It’s obviously important!”

Wanderer (plucking at his guitar, a slow, melancholic tune emerging):

“Maybe. Or maybe it’s just paper.

Maps lead you places,

But they don’t tell you where you want to go.”

Elliot groans, burying his face in his hands.

Elliot: “Why do I even talk to any of you?”

Coincidence: “Because deep down, you know we’re right. Now, this map—let me tell you a story.”

Elliot (muttering): “Oh, here we go.”

Long sprawling narrative: The Map That Led Nowhere

Coincidence (leaning back, flipping his coin):

“Once upon a time—because all great stories start that way—there was a man named Roderick. Roderick was obsessed with finding the perfect place. Not just a nice house or a scenic view, no. He wanted the place—a paradise, a utopia, a spot where everything made sense and nothing hurt. And one day, he found a map. Or rather, the map found him. It was in his mailbox, no return address, just a single phrase scrawled across the top: ‘This Way.’”

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Serendipity (grinning): “Oh, I like this one.”

Coincidence: “Naturally, Roderick dropped everything and followed the map. It led him through deserts and forests, over mountains and rivers, to places he’d never even imagined. But no matter how far he went, no matter how closely he followed the lines, he never seemed to reach the destination. Weeks turned into months, and Roderick began to despair.”

Wanderer (nodding, strumming a soft chord):

“Chasing lines and chasing dreams,

He wandered far but saw no gleam.”

Elliot (frowning): “So what happened? Did he ever find it?”

Coincidence (smiling enigmatically): “Oh, he found something, alright. One day, as he sat by a campfire, staring at the map, he realized… it had changed. The lines were no longer straight. They spiraled and twisted, forming a shape he couldn’t quite make out. And in the center of that spiral was a single word: ‘Here.’”

Elliot (blinking): “Wait. So the map was leading him to… himself?”

Serendipity: “Maybe. Or maybe it was just a badly drawn map. Who’s to say?”

Elliot (throwing up his hands): “Of course. Why did I expect anything else?”

The Goat’s Role

The goat chomps down on the last corner of the map, its chewing loud in the quiet desert.

Elliot: “And now it’s gone. Perfect.”

Wanderer (pausing his strumming): “Not gone. Just… part of something else now.”

Elliot (glaring): “It’s part of the goat’s digestive system!”

Serendipity (smiling): “And maybe that’s where it was meant to be. Maps don’t always need to be read to lead you somewhere.”

Elliot: “That doesn’t even make sense.”

Coincidence: “Doesn’t it? Maybe the goat will carry that map’s essence somewhere new. Maybe it’ll inspire someone else. Or maybe it’ll just fertilize some really nice grass.”

A Question of Direction

The Wanderer looks up at the stars, strumming a bittersweet melody.

Wanderer:

“There is no map to where you’re going,

No guide to what you’re knowing.

The road is yours, the steps are free,

The journey’s all it’s meant to be.”

Elliot (grumbling): “Great. So what you’re all saying is, I just have to wander aimlessly and hope for the best?”

Coincidence: “Not aimlessly. Coincidentally. Big difference.”

Serendipity (grinning): “And don’t forget the happy accidents along the way.”

The goat burps, the sound somehow profound in the stillness.

Elliot (standing up): “I’m going to bed. Try not to destroy the fabric of reality while I’m gone.”

As Elliot walks away, the three gods exchange knowing smiles.

Coincidence: “Think he’s starting to get it?”

Serendipity: “Maybe. Or maybe he’s just as lost as the map was.”

Wanderer (playing the final chord): “Either way, the road goes on.”

[End Scene]

[retcon:1]