SCENE 1: THE CELEBRATION BEGINS
[Setting: An over-the-top, fluorescent pizza buffet called “Planetary Pizza Party,” where the theme is galaxies and toppings. Animatronic band members—aliens with googly eyes and disjointed movements—belt out a glitchy tune in the corner: "Pineapple on pizza! Cosmic delight! Cheese in the cosmos, anchovies take flight!" The smell of grease and melted cheese fills the air as Coincidence (God of Coincidence), Felicity (God of Happy Accidents), Claire, and Elliot sit at a sticky table adorned with pizza crumbs and questionable cleanliness. Tripod, always a rabbit, observes from a chair that’s slightly too high for him.]
Coincidence (gesturing dramatically):
“Friends, gather round! Tonight, we commemorate a glorious milestone. 2,500 moments of shared existence. Views, if you will. Witnessed through the lens of Royal Road’s finest readers—the true connoisseurs of chaos!”
Elliot (side-eyeing the animatronic band):
“Sure. But did it have to be here? This place feels like it hasn’t seen a mop since the moon landing.”
Claire (dryly, cutting into her slice):
“Relax, Elliot. A little grease never killed anyone. Though that mystery topping might.”
[She flicks a suspiciously green chunk of something off her plate. Button Sprinkles—today named "Pesto"—jumps onto the table and bats it onto the floor with regal disinterest.]
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SCENE 2: THE PIZZA PUZZLE UNVEILED
[A waiter in a galaxy-printed apron arrives, dramatically presenting a pizza in the shape of a puzzle piece. It’s absurdly oversized, each piece adorned with wildly mismatched toppings: one piece is entirely pineapple, another is buried under olives and anchovies, and the rest are equally chaotic.]
Felicity (clapping her hands):
“Behold! The legendary Pizza Puzzle! Rumor has it that solving it grants cosmic wisdom—or at least a free dessert.”
Elliot (groaning):
“Let me guess. This is one of those things where you ‘solve’ it by eating the whole thing.”
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
Coincidence (leaning back, grinning):
“Ah, but isn’t that life? A mosaic of toppings, each representing the choices we make, the paths we take—and the readers we pick up along the way on Royal Road.”
Claire (interrupting):
“Or the indigestion we’ll regret. Just eat the damn thing.”
[The group dives in, each taking a piece with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Tripod hops onto the table, nudging pieces into an arrangement that vaguely resembles a spiral. The animatronic band glitches mid-song, replacing lyrics with something eerily philosophical.]
Animatronic Singer (jerking awkwardly):
“Cheese binds the universe! Pepperoni… chaos! Anchovies… the end of all things!”
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SCENE 3: TRIPOD’S PUZZLE PIECE
[As the group eats, Tripod continues rearranging pieces with deliberate precision. The table falls into a contemplative silence as they watch.]
Elliot (chewing, muttering):
“Why do I feel like the rabbit knows something we don’t?”
[Tripod finishes arranging the pieces, forming a pattern that inexplicably spells out “2500” in melted cheese. Coincidence leans forward, eyes sparkling with amusement.]
Coincidence (dramatically):
“And there it is! The universe, always winking. Or perhaps smirking. 2,500 views on Royal Road, immortalized in mozzarella.”
Felicity (tilting her head):
“Is it just me, or does that look like a map?”
Elliot (muttering):
“More like an advertisement for lactose intolerance.”
[Button Sprinkles hops down from the table, knocking a napkin onto the floor. The animatronic band glitches again, their voices overlapping in chaotic harmony.]
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SCENE 4: THE GLOWING SLICE
[As the celebration winds down, Claire notices the last slice of pizza on the platter. It’s shaped like a question mark and glows faintly under the fluorescent light. She points it out, skeptical.]
Claire (reaching for the slice, pausing mid-air):
“You know what? I’m good. I’ve seen enough sci-fi to know how this ends.”
Coincidence (leaning back, his tone turning wistful):
“Perhaps this slice represents the last, unanswered question of existence. The culmination of curiosity, wonder, and the glorious chaos that defines Royal Road.”
Claire (cutting in):
“—and you’re hungry. Eat.”
[The group laughs as the glowing slice is left untouched. Tripod hops off the table, flicking his ears in what might be approval. As the saxophonist picks up a playful riff, the camera pans out to reveal “2500” glowing faintly in the restaurant’s neon sign above the door.]
[End Scene.]