[Setting]
Elliot is walking through a bustling farmers’ market, his hands full of bags containing produce he probably won’t eat before it spoils. The air smells of fresh bread, ripe peaches, and a faint hint of cinnamon. Somewhere, a guitarist strums the opening chords of a song Elliot doesn’t recognize.
As he pauses by a stall selling honey, a familiar voice breaks through the hum of the crowd.
God of Coincidence (grinning, leaning against a stall covered in jars of pickles): “Ah, Elliot! What are the odds? Well, actually, rather good, if I’m being honest.”
Elliot (closing his eyes, sighing): “No. Nope. Not today. I just want to buy honey and go home.”
God of Coincidence (stepping closer, already pulling something from his pocket): “Nonsense! Today’s the perfect day for a story. And lucky for you, this one involves a goat. A very stubborn goat.”
Elliot (muttering): “Why is it always a goat with you?”
God of Coincidence (ignoring him, holding up a jar of honey like it’s a magical artifact): “Let me set the scene. Picture this—rolling green hills, a lazy summer breeze, and a small village nestled in the valley below. In this idyllic setting, there lived a farmer and his goat.”
Elliot (glancing at the honey seller, who is now clearly invested in the tale): “Oh no. Not this again.”
God of Coincidence (spinning the jar of honey in his hands): “Now, this wasn’t just any goat. This was a stubborn goat. The kind of goat that would rather stare down a boulder than walk around it. A goat with a will so strong, it made the farmer question his own life choices.”
The Tale of the Stubborn Goat
God of Coincidence:
“One day, the farmer decides to take the goat to market. Simple enough, you’d think. But as they approach the bridge that crosses a gently babbling brook, the goat stops. Refuses to move.
Stolen story; please report.
No amount of coaxing, pushing, or bribing with carrots could budge it. And you know what? The goat planted its hooves with such force that it blocked the entire bridge. Completely.
The farmer begged and pleaded, but the goat just stared at him, chewing a mouthful of grass with the slow confidence of a creature who knew it had all the time in the world.”
Elliot (snorting): “So the goat caused a traffic jam? That’s the story?”
God of Coincidence (raising a finger): “Ah, but this is where it gets interesting. Because the bridge was the only way into town, and soon enough, a crowd began to gather. People with carts, merchants with wares, even a traveling bard with a questionable lute—all stuck behind this one immovable goat.”
Elliot (sarcastically): “Riveting.”
God of Coincidence (ignoring him):
“At first, there was chaos. Shouting, arguing, accusations of sabotage—one merchant even claimed the goat was a demon in disguise. But then, something miraculous happened.
The bard, in an attempt to calm the crowd, began to play a tune. A jaunty little jig. And wouldn’t you know it, the goat—this stubborn goat—started tapping its hoof.
The crowd, bemused but intrigued, began clapping along. Before long, they were dancing. Strangers laughing, sharing food, swapping stories—all because of a goat that refused to move.”
The Payoff
God of Coincidence (grinning as he gestures dramatically): “By the time the farmer finally convinced the goat to move, the villagers didn’t care about the delay anymore. In fact, they were grateful for it. That one stubborn goat created the kind of connection no market day ever had before. And wouldn’t you know it? From then on, the village held an annual Goat Festival—complete with dancing, music, and, of course, a ceremonial goat on the bridge.”
Elliot (folding his arms, unimpressed): “So what you’re saying is, the goat did absolutely nothing, and everyone else made it meaningful?”
God of Coincidence (leaning in, smiling knowingly): “Exactly! Sometimes, doing nothing is the most profound act of all.”
Elliot (throwing up his hands): “Of course. Why did I even ask?”
The Aftermath
As Elliot pays for his honey, he notices a goat standing nearby, chewing lazily on a discarded grocery bag. Its inscrutable gaze meets his for just a moment before it wanders off into the crowd.
Elliot (muttering): “Yeah, sure. Why not.”
The honey seller hands him his change and says with a smile: “You know, I’ve been thinking about getting a goat. They seem... inspiring.”
Elliot (turning to the GOC, glaring): “You’re insufferable.”
God of Coincidence (laughing, tossing a coin in the air): “And yet, here we are. Coincidence? I think not!”
The coin lands, spinning to a stop, tails up.
[End Scene]