[Setting]
It’s a Thursday evening. Elliot and Claire find themselves at the little café on the corner of 5th and Main—the same café mentioned offhand by the god of coincidence. Claire had suggested it as a nice spot for dinner, having forgotten entirely about the god’s invitation, and Elliot, not wanting to cook, agreed.
They’re seated at a small table near the window, Elliot studying the menu, Claire sipping on water. Everything is quiet and comfortable. Until, of course, the door opens, and in walks the god of coincidence, looking entirely too pleased.
Coincidence (loudly, waving from the door): “Elliot! Claire! Fancy seeing you here! It’s almost like… a coincidence!”
Elliot looks up, his eyes widening in shock. He blinks at the sight of the god striding toward them, and then his gaze catches on the woman at the god's side—a charming, beaming woman with a half-wild bouquet of flowers in her arms. She looks just as amused as the god does.
Claire (smiling, nudging Elliot): “Well, I guess this is happening.”
Elliot (sighing, mumbling): “I guess it really is.”
The god reaches their table, beaming, and gestures grandly to the woman beside him.
Coincidence: “Elliot, Claire, allow me to introduce Felicity, again. My partner in all things coincidental and unplanned!”
Felicity (nodding warmly, presenting the flowers as if they are an offering): “Lovely to meet you both. Or meet you again, really, since I think the universe has had this planned for a while.”
Elliot (staring, deadpan): “So… we’re really doing this double date thing?”
Coincidence (clapping a hand on Elliot’s shoulder, beaming): “Of course! The universe clearly wants it to be so. I mean, look at this—what are the odds we’d all end up here on the same evening, at the very same café?”
Elliot (muttering): “Pretty high, given how you operate.”
Claire (laughing): “Alright, come on, Elliot. Let’s just enjoy it.”
[Scene Transition]
The four of them are seated now—Elliot and Claire across from the god and Felicity. The waiter arrives to take orders, and Felicity insists on something called “the chef’s mystery special,” which neither Elliot nor Claire have ever heard of but sounds vaguely ominous. Drinks are served, and the conversation begins in earnest, driven by the two chaotic forces at the table.
Coincidence (grinning, raising his glass): “To coincidences that lead us together! And to the peculiar way an acorn can change the course of someone’s entire evening.”
Felicity (nodding, her eyes twinkling): “Oh yes, like that one time with the pineapple and the postman.”
Claire (curious): “Wait, what happened with a pineapple and a postman?”
The god leans in, clearly delighted.
Coincidence: “Ah, yes, the tale of the Star-Crossed Pineapple. You see, it all began on a Tuesday—which, as you may know, is the most auspicious day for tropical fruit. Our dear friend the postman, whose name may or may not have been Gerald, found himself in possession of a very ripe pineapple, a gift from a neighbor who thought it would bring good luck.”
Felicity (jumping in, excited): “But Gerald wasn’t just any postman—he was a postman who believed that every piece of mail carried a secret code, a hidden message meant just for him.”
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Elliot (frowning): “Wait, are you saying he thought mail was speaking to him?”
Coincidence (nodding sagely): “Indeed! You see, Gerald had this idea that the world was trying to communicate through stamps, and this pineapple was no exception. He thought it was an important sign—something that would lead him to his destiny.”
Felicity (laughing): “Or to a very messy kitchen. Spoiler—it turned out to be both!”
Claire (laughing, looking amused): “What happened?”
Coincidence: “Well, Gerald decided the pineapple must be delivered to someone special. He carried it along his route, looking for a sign. And just as he reached Mrs. Higginbottom’s house—who, by the way, had a collection of over 200 miniature teapots—it started to rain.”
Elliot (rubbing his temples): “Wait, what does the rain have to do with anything?”
Felicity (grinning): “Oh, everything, Elliot. Rain always means something is about to happen—whether it’s an epiphany or just the desire to run inside. Gerald ran up to Mrs. Higginbottom’s porch, slipped on her welcome mat, and dropped the pineapple. It rolled right into her stack of teapots, knocking over the largest one—a big blue one shaped like a goose.”
Claire (smiling, intrigued): “Did it break?”
Coincidence (dramatically): “Ah, but that’s the beauty of it—it didn’t! Instead, the goose-shaped teapot opened up to reveal a hidden compartment. And inside was a small, folded map. A treasure map, if you will.”
Elliot (staring, his eyes narrowing slightly): “Wait. Are you saying this is the same treasure map from… you know, that other time?”
Felicity (smiling mysteriously): “It could be. Or maybe it’s just very similar. Who can say?”
Coincidence (grinning, leaning back): “Ah, the beauty of maps, Elliot. They always lead somewhere—even if it’s just back to where you started.”
Claire (grinning): “So, what happened with the map?”
Coincidence (leaning in): “Gerald, Mrs. Higginbottom, and the pineapple followed the map, of course. It led them through the neighborhood, around winding alleys, until they reached the abandoned greenhouse at the edge of town.”
Felicity (nodding, eyes sparkling): “It was overgrown, filled with forgotten flowers—begonias, mostly. And, if I recall correctly, a slightly confused goat.”
Elliot (blinking, leaning forward now, slightly incredulous): “Wait, a goat? How does a goat factor into this?”
Coincidence (beaming): “Oh, it doesn’t really. The goat was just there, enjoying its day. But Gerald saw the goat as a sign—a guardian of the greenhouse, if you will. They explored the place, found an old watering can, and realized that sometimes, the treasure you find is the one you make along the way.”
Claire (smiling): “So it wasn’t really about the treasure—it was about the adventure?”
Coincidence (raising a finger): “Exactly! And maybe—just maybe—that’s what all maps are really about. Whether or not it’s the same map doesn’t matter, does it, Elliot? It’s about where it takes you.”
Elliot (sighing, leaning back): “You know, I’m never going to get a straight answer from you, am I?”
Felicity (grinning warmly, offering Elliot a playful wink): “And wouldn’t it be boring if you did?”
[Scene Transition]
The meal arrives, and it’s an eclectic mix—the chef’s mystery special turns out to be a deconstructed lasagna that looks more like a modern art piece than food. The god and Felicity dive in enthusiastically, clearly delighted by the chaos on their plates. Elliot stares at his, fork in hand, trying to figure out where to start.
Coincidence (with a mouthful, pointing his fork at Elliot): “You know, Elliot, it’s just like Gerald’s journey. Sometimes you have to dive in without knowing if it’s lasagna or just a very ambitious puzzle.”
Felicity (nodding): “And sometimes you find out the pineapple was the treasure all along.”
Elliot (deadpan): “Or that the treasure is a very confusing dinner.”
Claire (smiling, giving Elliot an encouraging nudge): “Come on, just try it. You never know—you might end up liking it.”
Elliot sighs, but a small smile tugs at his lips. He lifts his fork, taking a bite of the deconstructed lasagna. It’s… surprisingly good. He nods, swallowing.
Elliot: “Okay. I’ll admit it. Not bad. Still not sure what it has to do with pineapples, though.”
Coincidence (grinning, lifting his glass): “Ah, but that’s the beauty, Elliot. It doesn’t have to make sense. It just has to be. To pineapples, teapots, and friends who are willing to embrace the unknown.”
Claire (raising her glass again, laughing): “To the unknown.”
Elliot (rolling his eyes, but smiling): “Yeah, alright. To the unknown.”
They clink their glasses, the chaos of the evening settling into something almost—dare Elliot say it—nice. And maybe that’s the point after all. Or maybe there isn’t a point. Either way, Elliot decides, it’s not such a bad way to spend an unplanned Thursday night.
[End Scene]
[retcon:1]