Scene 1: Late Night Knock

[Setting: Claire and Elliot’s apartment. It’s late, and the soft hum of a sitcom plays in the background as Claire sorts laundry and Elliot nurses a mug of tea. A sudden knock at the door interrupts the peaceful evening.]

Claire (sighing): “Who knocks this late? If it’s the goat again, I’m installing a lock on the fire escape.”

[Elliot opens the door to reveal Felicity, God of Happy Accidents, poised and dazzling as always, supporting a very drunk Coincidence, God of Coincidences, who leans heavily against her.]

Felicity: “Good evening! Apologies for the intrusion, but this one…” (gesturing to Coincidence) “…thought it’d be fun to challenge a bottle of divine tequila. He lost. Mind if I leave him here for the night?”

Claire (crossing her arms): “And what exactly am I supposed to do with him?”

Coincidence (slurring, grinning): “Oh, I’m low maintenance. Just… let me vibe.”

[Felicity deposits Coincidence on the couch. Before leaving, she glances at T.Pratchett, sitting by the window.]

Felicity (to Coincidence, winking): “Play nice with the goat. He’s better at tying up loose ends than you are.”

[Coincidence waves her off, mumbling something unintelligible as she disappears into the night.]

Scene 2: Morning Chaos

[Claire and Elliot prepare to leave for work. Coincidence snores on the couch, clutching an empty wine glass he somehow acquired overnight. T.Pratchett sits by the window, staring judgmentally.]

Claire (glaring at Coincidence): “He’s your problem now.”

Elliot: “He’s not my anything.”

[As they exit, Coincidence stirs, smacking his lips. He glances at T.Pratchett, who watches him intently.]

Coincidence (to the goat, conspiratorially): “You always know how to tie a narrative knot, don’t you?”

[T.Pratchett bleats softly, his expression unreadable.]

Scene 3: A Shocking Return

[Claire and Elliot return home that evening, tired but relieved the day is over—until they open the door.]

Claire (stopping in her tracks): “What. The. Hell.”

[Elliot freezes beside her. Coincidence lounges on the couch, his shirt unbuttoned, revealing a massive pregnant belly. T.Pratchett sits at his feet, chewing on a pair of socks.]

Coincidence (grinning): “Surprise! It’s a… baby bump.”

Elliot (incredulous): “How? Just… how?”

Coincidence (shrugging): “I’m the God of Coincidence. These things happen.”

Claire (pointing at T.Pratchett): “What about him? Did he have something to do with this?”

Coincidence (leaning back, smirking): “Witness? Father? Midwife? Who can say?”

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[T.Pratchett bleats softly, then continues chewing on the sock.]

Scene 4: The SSMO/Form Narrative

[The lighting shifts subtly, the room taking on an ethereal glow as Coincidence leans forward, gesturing dramatically.]

Coincidence: “Life, my dear friends, is a series of choices. To bring something into existence, or not to. To nurture the possibility of what could be, or to snuff it out before it begins. And yet, how much of those choices are truly ours? How much is coincidence… or fate?”

Claire (groaning): “Oh no, not one of these speeches.”

Coincidence (ignoring her): “Imagine, if you will, a seed. Planted in the fertile soil of chance. It grows not because of intention, but because the universe wills it. To end it would be to defy the very nature of coincidence itself. But then…” (he pauses, rubbing his belly) “…is it not also a choice to let it flourish?”

Elliot (muttering to Claire): “He’s drunk. And possibly insane.”

Coincidence: “Drunk, yes. Insane? Only as much as the rest of you. For you see…” (he leans in conspiratorially, gesturing to his belly) “…do you want to feel it kick? Oh wait—it’s a concept. It doesn’t kick, it ponders.”

[Claire facepalms as T.Pratchett lets out a loud bleat, nudging Coincidence’s belly with his head.]

Scene 5: The Reveal

[As the group watches in stunned silence, Coincidence’s belly begins to deflate like a balloon. Within seconds, he’s back to his normal self, grinning as though nothing had happened.]

Claire (snapping): “What. Was. That?”

Coincidence (standing, stretching): “A choice made. Or unmade. Who’s to say?”

Elliot (pointing at the goat’s retreating figure): “And the goat?”

Coincidence: “Witness? Father? Midwife? Perhaps all three. Perhaps none. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

Claire (throwing up her hands): “I need a drink.”

[As she storms into the kitchen, Coincidence pats Elliot on the shoulder.]

Coincidence: “Life, my friend, is full of mysteries. Some we solve, some we live with, and some…” (he grins) “…we just let the goat handle.”

Scene 6: A Cryptic Exit

[As the tension starts to fade, Felicity bursts through the door, radiant as ever.]

Felicity: “Did I miss anything?”

Elliot (deadpan): “Only everything.”

[Coincidence grabs his coat and saunters toward the door, his grin practically glowing in the dim apartment light. Just as he reaches for the handle, a loud, mechanical ding echoes through the room.]

Voice (cheerful, robotic): “You’ve got mail!”

[Coincidence freezes mid-step, then turns dramatically, one hand raised like a magician about to unveil a grand trick.]

Coincidence (grinning): “Ah, right on time. Re:Vise is back from his vacation.”

[He wiggles his fingers theatrically, and with a puff of golden smoke, a scroll materializes in the air, floating gently into his hand. The scroll is adorned with an official-looking seal and the faint scent of ozone. He unrolls it with a flourish, clearing his throat as if preparing to address an audience.]

Coincidence (reading aloud, dramatically):

“Attention all gods, mortals, and other entities of narrative significance:

Retcon Version 2 has been finalized for Chapter: Forward: A Coincidental Introduction. Please refer to the divine narrative for all changes and additions. IVS—ever diligent, ever bored.”

[Felicity, who had been lounging near the door with an amused expression, chuckles as she crosses her arms.]

Felicity: “Looks like he’s been busy. Didn’t even unpack his existential luggage before sending out an update.”

[Claire and Elliot exchange bewildered glances.]

Elliot: “Divine narratives? Re:Vise? What the hell is going on now?”

[Coincidence rolls up the scroll and tucks it into his coat with a smirk.]

Coincidence: “Oh, nothing too complicated. Just some light editing of reality. You know, the usual. Re:Vise handles the bureaucracy so the rest of us can keep things... interesting.”

Claire (narrowing her eyes): “You’re telling me some god is out there rewriting reality like it’s a first draft?”

Felicity (grinning): “Not ‘some god.’ The god of RetCons. Revisions. Re:Vise is the guy who makes sure all the little contradictions and plot holes get smoothed over. Well, most of them.”

Elliot (deadpan): “That’s... reassuring.”

[Coincidence claps Elliot on the shoulder, his grin widening.]

Coincidence: “It’s not about control, my dear Elliot. It’s about perspective. Anyway, thanks for the hospitality. And for…” (he winks) “…the memories.”

[He steps out, whistling a jaunty tune, the newsletter scroll peeking out of his pocket. Felicity follows, tossing a casual wave over her shoulder.]

Felicity: “Don’t worry, kiddos. You’ll figure it out eventually. Or not. Either way, it’s been fun.”

[The door clicks shut behind them, leaving Claire, Elliot, and T.Pratchett in stunned silence. For a long moment, no one speaks.]

Claire (finally muttering, glaring at the goat): “Next time, I’m locking the goat out.”

[T.Pratchett bleats innocently, nibbling on the edge of a coaster.]

[End Scene]

[retcon:1]