[Setting]

Elliot and Claire are seated in their usual spot at the park café, sipping coffee that somehow tastes worse every time they come here. The air feels oddly charged, like the universe is bracing itself for something… or someone.

Elliot (glancing around nervously): “I swear, if he shows up again—”

Before he can finish, there’s a snap of fingers. The God of Coincidence (GOC1) materializes beside them, flipping his ever-present coin with a grin.

God of Coincidence: “Exactly what I was hoping for!”

Elliot (groaning): “Why am I not surprised?”

Claire (grinning): “Because you were hoping for it, obviously.”

Before anyone can say more, another figure steps out from the shadows of a nearby tree: tall, polished, and radiating an air of quiet intensity. The God of Conundrums (GOC2) adjusts his glasses with an infuriatingly calm expression.

God of Conundrums: “Hoping, or coincidentally dreading? The line is finer than you think.”

Elliot (blinking, looking between them): “Who the hell is this?”

God of Coincidence (clapping a hand on GOC2’s shoulder): “Oh, this? This is my old friend. Or rival. Or maybe both. Meet the God of Conundrums.”

God of Conundrums (nodding, his voice measured): “Charmed, I’m sure. Though whether we’re meeting by design or coincidence is… debatable.”

Elliot (head in hands): “Why do these people keep popping up in my life?”

Claire (patting his shoulder): “Maybe you’re special.”

Elliot (groaning): “Specially cursed, maybe.”

God of Coincidence (sitting down, flipping his coin): “Well, now that we’re all here, I propose a friendly little… let’s call it a sparring match. A battle of stories. I’ll go first.”

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God of Conundrums (raising an eyebrow): “As you wish. But do try to keep it coherent.”

God of Coincidence (grinning): “Oh, where’s the fun in that? Now then… once upon a time—because all the best stories start that way—there was a fisherman. Not a very good one, mind you, but he tried. Day after day, he cast his line, hoping for a catch. But no matter what he did, his net came up empty.”

Elliot (grumbling): “This already sounds familiar.”

God of Coincidence (ignoring him): “One day, just as he was about to give up, he felt a tug. A strong one. He reeled in his line and found a golden fish. The fish looked at him—yes, looked at him—and said, ‘Throw me back, and I’ll grant you a wish.’”

Claire (smirking): “Let me guess. He wished for something ridiculous.”

God of Coincidence (laughing): “Ridiculous? No, no. He wished for something perfectly reasonable: to never go hungry again. The fish granted his wish and swam away. And from that day forward, the fisherman always had food on his table. Only…” (he leans in dramatically) “it wasn’t fish. It was anything but fish. The man couldn’t even step near the water without getting sick. He lived out his days eating bread and vegetables, dreaming of the sea but never tasting it again.”

God of Conundrums (nodding, thoughtfully): “An amusing little parable. But let me offer a counterpoint.”

God of Coincidence: “Oh, please do.”

God of Conundrums (adjusting his glasses): “Once upon a time, there was a king. A wise and just ruler who believed in fairness above all else. One day, two men came to him, both claiming ownership of the same treasure. A jeweled crown, said to bring great fortune to its owner. The king, unwilling to favor one man over the other, declared they must solve the dispute with a single toss of a coin.”

Elliot (leaning in despite himself): “And?”

God of Conundrums (pausing for dramatic effect): “The coin landed on its edge. Perfectly balanced, refusing to choose. The men stared at it, baffled, while the king… smiled. ‘You see,’ he said, ‘the crown belongs to neither of you. Its value lies not in ownership but in the balance it brings.’ And so, the king kept the crown for himself, declaring it the symbol of his reign.”

Claire (frowning): “So… he just stole it?”

God of Conundrums (smirking): “Or restored balance. Interpretations vary.”

Elliot (throwing up his hands): “Great. Two gods, two stories, zero answers. Why am I not surprised?”

God of Coincidence (grinning): “Oh, you’re learning, Elliot. That’s the spirit!”

God of Conundrums: “Indeed. The conundrum of learning without knowing is one of life’s greatest puzzles.”

Elliot (sighing): “I hate both of you.”

Claire (laughing): “You love it, admit it.”

[End Scene]

[retcon:1]