“May the better [Rizzler] Win! The timer starts now!” the [Rizzenator] said before running away.
“So? How exactly do we get us some Rizz?” Dick asked his starry friend.
“I dunno? Try asking the locals?”
By this time, the local Rizzidents had returned to the streets, overcoming their trauma.
“If I may,” said Sir Rizznatchulous. “The town of Rizz is a bit unique. Here, accumulating Rizz is nearly as important as Number Go Up. Rizz can be attained a variety of ways, from helping rizzidents find their lost cats, to performing subjugation quests for local monsters. All those animals you felled could be used to gain Rizz instead of coin.”
“So let me get this straight. I gain Rizz… I win this competition. I get a Falling Toirtoise, whateve the fuck that is. I slack off and do whatever the fuck I want, and all I have to do is leave this town?”
“That, erm, yes. That seems to be the case,” their Bri’ish [Rizzly Bear] replied.
“Need I remind you that you agreed to the Falling Tortoise?” Greg asked.
“Fuck it, boys. Let’s go make us some burgers!”
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
And so, the floating gold star, the [Rizzly Bear], the human, and the toy dog all went to the town square, where Dick whipped out his foot cart and started whipping up some burgers.
For Dick, cooking with [Karen] meat was a new sensation that took a bit of skill, but he managed it in the end.
As with the previous town, the Rizzidents were no match against Dick’s [Cooking] skill. With his [Middle Class American] boosts, there wasn’t a soul alive who could resist the draw of a Double Dicker, let alone his newest concoction — the Crazy Karen Dick. A Crazy Dick, but with Karen meat.
Needless to say, it was an instant success, and it wasn’t long before people began slaughtering one another, salivating over the chance to have a Dick burger. It wasn’t just the burgers, either. He’d brought out the full menu — [Frikken] nuggets, Freedom Fries, and even jalapeno poppers, which was a new addition to the lineup. Thanks to the magic of his inventory, food never went bad, and he’d built up quite the stockpile of ingredients.
“I said it in chapter ten and I’ll say it again. Wars. Wars never changes,” Dick said, reappropriating the Buttcoin from the fallen warriors who weren’t lucky enough to snag a Dick Burger. “Lord knows I could use all the Buttcoin I can get my hands on. Now let me tell you about my plan.”
“You? Made a plan!?” said Greg, his eyes wide open. “Are you sure you’re alright, Dick?”
“Better than ever. And guess what? With this plan, we can have our burgers and our Rizz. It’s like drivin’ a truck without having to pay for the gas!”
Little did Greg know that Dick’s genius plan would set into motion events that would one day lead to an ice skating competition between Dick and the[Demon Lord] of the underworld.