“I regret everything,” God commented, watching Dick stumble through the steps of the dance.
“The moonwalk is especially terrible,” Greg said in agreement. “What did you expect with a Danciness stat of [Two]?”
“I thought I’d get to see something funny. But this? This is just… wow.”
“Yep, pretty sure MJ would be turning in his grave.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure he already was,” God replied. “Anyway, it’s time we end this. Dick, you can stop!”
But Dick was in zone, dancing with vigor and Rizz. He didn’t hear them.
“DICK I SAID YOU CAN STOP!”
“Aw, but I wasn’t even done!” Dick said. “I oughta do this more often. Never knew it’d be this fun.”
“NO!” Greg and God roared together. “Please. For the love of all that is holy! Don’t!”
“Whatever. So do I get my truck now? Damn Dicksciples killed each other before they could gather enough buttcoin for me.”
“Uh, no? The agreement was for you to defeat the [Demon Lord], remember?”
“Wait, Dick! How much buttcoin do you have now?”
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
“Hmm lemme check. Dang, only 1,775,999. Just need one more!”
“Well, why don’t we just kill some monsters and turn in the bounty instead?” Greg asked.
“NO! Don’t listen to him!”
“Listen to me!”
“No don’t!”
Before Greg and God could face off, a newcomer materialized from the ether.
It was the [Cryptobro] from chapter [Eleven.
“It is I, the [Cryptobro] from chapter [Eleven].
“My number go up friend!” Dick said, fist bumping his good friend. “What can I do for you?”
“Yo, bro. Wanna invest in crypto?”
Dick teared up. “Do I ever! Here! Take it all!”
Without hesitation, Dick transferred all his funds to the [Cryptobro], which settled instantly. Because blockchain. Hashtag decentralized.
“When do I get more money?” Dick asked. “When does the number go up?”
“Eh, too bad. The govt just cracked down on crypto and it’s a bear market. I lost all your money, sorry. Better luck next time.”
Dick nodded understandingly, patting the [Cryptobro] on his shoulder. “You must have done everything you could. I understand. No one can predict the market. Hit me up next time you want more investments.”
“Does he always make such terrible decisions?” asked God, but Greg didn’t reply. He was lost in his own world, mumbling to himself.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
“What’s wrong with him?” Dick asked, feeling happy about investing his money into a worthy cause.
“I fear it’s time for a version MXIX.”
“Huh. Well, you have fun with that. Imma number go up.”