“Hey friend! Have mojito on the house!” a demon said, carrying a platter of drinks.
Dick and Greg found themselves in a tropical resort, complete with coconut trees, beaches, swimming pools, overly expensive hotels, and blue ocean.
“I thought this was the demon realm?” Dick asked.
“It is. See the sign?”
Sure enough, the resort was called ‘Demon Realm Tropical Resorts’.
“This place is pretty nice!” Dick said. “I thought it’d be all red and depressing.”
“Hey man!” a demon wearing an Aloha shirt said. “Don’t stereotype us demons, aiite? This place is sick. Kickass.”
“Stay vigilant, Dick. God wouldn’t have put us here unless it was a big deal. This might all be a ruse to get us to lower our guard.”
“Damn, this mojito’s pretty good,” Dick commented, accepting a garland of flowers from one of the scantily clad locals.
“NO DICK! YOU’RE LOWERING YOUR GUARD! Don’t you see? That’s exactly what he wants!”
“Hey, you guys got any trucks here?” Dick asked.
“A… truck?” the local responded, confused. “No, I’m afraid.”
“I told you already, Dick. This world’s medieval. More or less. There aren’t any trucks—”
“We do have SUV’s, though.”
“Bah. Only small men drive SUV’s. They do it to compensate for their small dicks,” said Dick. As the owner of one of the not-smallest dicks, Dick would know.
“Say that again,” a tough, masculine sounding voice said from a distance.
Unlike SilverTung#4064, this man had a cybernetic arm, and was dressed in futuristic red-and-black power armor. On his back was a rail rifle, and at his hip, a rail pistol.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Well, I’ll be. That’s some serious kit you’re rockin’ there.”
“I see you have an eye for quality, Dick. Names Magnus. Magnus Cromwell.”
“Oh!” Greg said, smacking his fist against his open palm. He’s the main character in one of the author’s other series! Man, that was such a good story.”
“With a protagonist as badass as this guy?” Dick said. “I don’t doubt it.”
“So how can I help you, friend?” Dick asked the imposing-looking cyborg.
“Oh don’t mind me,” Magnus said. “Me and my friend Vaak over here are just here to watch your showdown with the [Demon Lord]. Not everyday people like us get a break, you know?”
“Who’s Vaak?” asked Dick.
“That would be me,” an imposing demon said, rippling into existence next to Magnus. He stood even taller than the cyborg, with wicked black metal armor wrapping around his entire body, ending with dual horns that jutted up to the sky from his head.
“Name’s Vaak. But people call me Demon God Vaak.”
“Let me guess,” said Dick. “You’re the protagonist of another one of the author’s series?”
“I am,” Vaak said in an even tone.
“Ohhh that guy is bad news.” Greg whispered. “Like, you know how I said I can’t die? Well, that’s mostly true. I mean, obviously I can, or my predecessors would still be alive. But that guy? He’s actually immortal. Like sure, Magnus can outright delete entire football fields worth of stuff with a single thought, but Vaak? Yeaaah he can end civilizations outright. I can’t say anymore, because that would HUGE spoilers for the readers of that other story.”
“Looks to me like the author enjoys writing about badasses. I approve.”
“I am also here to witness your duel with this [Demon Lord],” Vaak said with a smirk.
Magnus turned and stared him in the eye. “You and me. We gotta fight one day. See who’s more powerful, y’know?”
Vaak nodded back. “Agreed. How about on the first day of the fourth month of the next year?”
“I’ll see you then,” Magnus said. “Looking forward to creaming your ass.”
Vaak grinned evilly. “They all say that. Right before they die.”
“HAHAHAH”
“MUHAHAHAHAHA”
“BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH”
“So, either of you two know how to find this [Demon Lord]?”
Magnus pointed behind Dick. “He’s right there.”
“He’s been there all along,” Vaak said, concurring.
Dick spun around, and when he saw the [Demon Lord], he paled.
“Son of a B—”