“This place sucks,” Dick proclaimed. It wasn’t so much that the City of Gold was poor, or that it had an abundance of slums. The ‘city’ was literally just a forest that had been burned to the ground and then razed, leaving a clearcut with stumps everywhere.
At the very center stood a castle. A castle made of Buttcoin.
“How can you call this a city?” Dick asked.
“Well, it used to be a city. But those details are irrelevant, right? Look at all that Buttcoin! It’s yours for the taking, Dick!”
“Not so fast, stranger!” a punk rocker said. He had a cybernetic tongue and wore leather jeans, with an electric guitar strapped onto his back.
“I thought you said this world was medieval.”
“I see no issue with this state of affairs,” Greg said with a thousand yard stare. Dick couldn’t have known, but as a last ditch measure to save his sanity, Greg now filtered out all the absurd things that popped up continuously. “I see only a humble farmer with a pickax on his back.”
“Remind me never to go crazy,” Dick said.
“YOU were the one who made me this way! Take responsibility?”
“What, you wanna get married, now? Sorry, I don’t do guys. Nohomo.”
“I give up. Let’s just see what Johnny Silverhand—I mean, Silvertung#4064—has to say. Just be careful. Everyone with the last name Silvertung has an extremely high Studliness score. Maybe even as high as yours. Whatever you do, don’t get into an argument with them.”
“Got it.”
“That coin’s mine!” Silvertung said, whipping out his guitar like a weapon. “Leave, before I end you.”
Dick stared at him for a long moment, clenching his fist.
“No u,” he said at last.
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With the face of one who’d been challenged by a lesser, Silvertung#4064 steeled himself. “No u.”
“No u.”
Skill [Silvertung] has leveled up! [Silvertung] lvl 7. + 80 EXP
“No U.”
“No YOU!”
Skill [Silvertung] has leveled up! [Silvertung] lvl 8. + 87 EXP
“Uno Reverse!”
“UNO REVERSE!”
Skill [Silvertung] has leveled up! [Silvertung] lvl 9. + 94 EXP
“UNO REVERSE REVERSE!”
“UNO REVERSE REVERSE REVERSE!”
Skill [Silvertung] has leveled up! [Silvertung] lvl 10. + 102 EXP
“NO U UNO REVERSE TIMES TEN!”
“UNO REVERSE TIMES A HUNDRED PLUS NUKES!”
Skill [Silvertung] has leveled up! [Silvertung] lvl 11. + 111 EXP
“I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?”
“OH YEAH? I’M LIKE RUBBER AND YOU’RE LIKE GLUE. WHATEVER YOUR SAY BOUNCES OFF OF ME AND STICKS TO YOU. PLUS ALIENS. TIMES A MILLION.”
Skill [Silvertung] has leveled up! [Silvertung] lvl 12. + 120 EXP
“I can take no more.” Silertung#4064 fell to his knees, unable to endure the roasting of Dick’s verbal onslaught.
“It… was good,” he said, coughing out blood. “Let’s… do it again… sometime.”
Then Silvertung#4064 keeled over and dematerialized like the holographic projection he really was.
Preoccupied with his duel, Dick never realized that Greg had experienced an aneurysm and was currently spasming on the ground.
With saliva dribbling out of his mouth, Greg uttered something over and over.
“Hodor. Hodor. HODOR!”
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 35.