You have acquired the Title [The Fliperator]. Most consider burger flipping the hallmark of failure in life. Not you. Burgers are your calling and Flipping is your destiny. You were born for this shit. You are… The Fliperator. +10% cooking speed while making burgers. +25% boost to [Cooking] skill(but only when flipping burgers.) +50 EXP.
“Wait your turn, people!” Greg shouted, though no one could see or hear him. “Sheesh, you’d think medieval townpeople would be more civilized.”
“Only thing worse than standing in line is waitin’ for the fast food delivery guy to show up an hour late,” Dick said, lathering [Boarse] fat on his latest burger.
A line of a hundred people stood outside his stall, all eagerly awaiting a taste of Dick’s new invention.
“S-sir, if I may ask? How did you create something so delicious?”
“Well,” Dick replied bashfully, scratching the back of his head, “Wasn’t my idea. Credit goes to George Washington, founding father. Mr. Washington always said that if there’s one thing that’s split our country apart, it was the day we forgot how to make good burgers.”
“What an inspiring man!”
“Sure was. We need more good men like him in the world,” Dick replied, staring wistfully into the distance.
Meanwhile, Greg facepalmed. “I get that remembering quotes is hard, but good god, man! There’s a limit to how much you can butcher them and still have your audience understand it!”
“She seemed to get it just fine?” Dick said, frowning. “‘Sides, whatever it takes to keep that dough rollin’ in, amirite?”
Not only was Dick’s pockets bursting with buttcoin, he’d steadily racked up EXP, which made him happier than any amount of money ever could. The coins all had a derpy-looking Shiba Inu dog on them. They called it ‘Buttcoin’. He didn’t know why, but he did know that he approved.
It was all helped by his wonderful class.
[Middle Class American]
Growing up in America, you understand that this health bullshit’s just a fad. Real food is deep fried food. Burgers and fries. Chicken nuggets and grilled cheese sandwiches and bacon and lots and lots of ketchup and mustard. It’s either that or ordering delivery from your local deep dish pizza joint—or maybe, just maybe—reheating frozen food. So go ahead. Bite into that juicy burger. You know you want to. It tastes like heaven. Like a sampler of the place you’re gonna end up in soon enough if you keep eating that crap. But it tastes good, and that’s really all that matters, isn’t it?
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
+50 point boost to the [Cooking] skill (but only when making food that causes cancer, diabetes, and heart attacks).
Combined with his [Fliperator] title, it made for quite the nuclear combination. The townsfolk lined up in droves, and for the first time in their lives, they got to taste real food. American food. And that came with certain special rewards…
Skill [Cooking] has leveled up! [Cooking] lvl 51. +3267 EXP.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 14.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 15.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 16.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 17.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 18.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 19.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 20.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 21.
Skill [Cooking] has leveled up! [Cooking] lvl 52. +3561 EXP.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 22.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 23.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 24.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 25.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 26.
“This is… this is atrocious!” Greg exclaimed. “What a hack! When you get a stat boost, it just acts as a modifier to your base stat level. But you’re gaining EXP as if you’re at level 50! That’s… insane! It’s absurd! It isn’t right! What about everyone else who has to grind and slog for thousands of hours starting from level one!? Where’s the justice? What kind of a monster are you?”
“Friend, the only monster on the menu is the EXTRA BIGASS MONSTER[BOARSE] BURGER. Triple patties for the low low price of only two regular EXTRA BIGASS [BOARSE] burgers.”