“So, I get why we’re in a weapons shop,” Greg said, his brows furrowed. “You want burgers, and to make burgers, you need meat. Which means killing [Boarse], and you’ll want a weapon for that. So far, so poggers. But uh… why are you over there looking at shovels?”
“Digging’s underrated.”
“Digging is… what?” Greg said, bewildered. “Care to explain?”
Dick stopped what he was doing and stared Greg in the eyes. Then, in a solemn voice, he said, “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
“Okay, so first off, that literally makes no sense. What kind of maniac would light someone on fire to keep him warm!?” said Greg, shoutingly. “But also, that has absolutely nothing to do with what you just said.”
“Patience, young grasshopper. Greece wasn’t built in a day.”
In the end, Dick bartered his slime corpses for a shovel and a rusty knife.
“Well, with your Bignosity stat, that shovel might do some real damage… and knives are better than nothing. But you could’ve just bought an ax! You even said you were good with axes, right?” Greg said as they left the store.
“Well, just watch. Got a good feeling about this.”
----------------------------------------
Deep in a nearby forest, Dick dug deep ditches determinatedly during the day, lining the bottoms with spikes he carved from tree branches with his knife, earning him several new skills.
Skill [Knife Carving] has leveled up! [Knife Carving] lvl 4. + 63 exp.
Skill [Pitfall Trap Making] has leveled up! [Pitfall Trap Making] lvl 2. + 54 exp.
As he’d discovered, there were skills for just about everything. Unlocking them gave a 50 exp reward, and leveling them gave higher rewards the higher the level. The numbers looked too orderly to him. Dick suspected there was some formula at work behind the scenes, but figuring it out sounded like a drag. Fuck that.
“Say, Greg, how do I level up my stats?”
“I thought you’d never ask! Well, y’see, Dick, you can buy stats with experience points! Normally, you’d have to travel to a temple to do that. Those are only in big cities, but you’re in luck! Sir Gregorio Gregarious Gregorix MXVIII of the clan McCloud here is a portable terminal! With me around, you can buy stat points whenever you like! And not only that, I’m an item shop too! Even got some stuff from your world, like hentai manga. But those cost a lot.”
“Huh. So you are good for something. What’s mentai hanga?”
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
“It’s better you don’t know, bless your soul. And I’m good for a lot of things! How rude! Anyway, for Physicality and Magic—those are the stats that affect your HP and MP—it starts at 0.5% gain per level, and increases by .5% with each stat level, up to a max stat level of 10, which gives you a 5% boost per level. Oh, and it’s retroactive, which is pretty gigachad, if you ask me.”
“So much does it cost?”
“Well, that varies. It’s cheap to level stats when they’re low level, but the cost increases exponentially at the higher ones. Oh, and there’s no such thing as Number Go Down, because that would be heresy. You can’t spend more XP than what you’ve racked up since your last Number Go UP. If you’re at NGU 69, you can’t spend XP if it would knock you back down to NGU 68.”
“Sounds complicated. Anyway, just about done with the traps. Come check it out.”
“You… dug a ditch, stuck some spears in there, and covered it up with some twigs that looks incredibly obvious and just screams ‘Trap!’?”
“Damn right I did. Now watch.”
The [Boarse] was a fearsome creature. Out of nowhere, a pack of forty Boarsii (yes, that is the plural of Boarse), burst out of the trees, out for blood.
“What did you do? Why are they all attacking like that?”
“Simple. I jes’ called ‘em cows. Most animals hate it when you call them cows. Works every time.”
“That… is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! How could that possibly work—!!”
Sure enough, forty Boarsii charged right at them. They had the look of Boarsii who’d just been called cows. They charged, fueled by hatred and indignation… and fell right into the pit trap.
Congratulations! You have killed [Boarse] lvl 8. + 113 EXP.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 8.
Congratulations! You have killed [Boarse] lvl 6. +76 EXP.
Congratulations! You have killed [Boarse] lvl 9. +122 EXP.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 9.
Congratulations! You have killed [Boarse] lvl 7. +82 EXP.
Congratulations! You have killed [Boarse] lvl 12. +177 EXP.
Congratulations! You have gained the title: [Boarslayer I]. You are the bane of the [Boarse]. +5% damage against Boarsii.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 10. Class Selection Now Available.
Congratulations! You have killed [Boarse] lvl 12. +173 EXP.
Congratulations! You have killed [Bigass Boarse] lvl 15. +333 EXP.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 11.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 12.
Congratulations! You have killed [Boarse] lvl 11. + 166 EXP.
Congratulations! You have killed [Boarse] lvl 8. + 113 EXP.
Congratulations! You have Number Go Up’d! Welcome to Number Go Up: 13.
Dick hoisted the shovel over his shoulder. “You hear that?”
“You mean the horrific wails of dying [Boarse]?”
“That is the sound of inevitability, Mr. Anderson.”
“My name is Neo! No wait! I mean Greg! No—Gregorix!”