It was horrible. The worst thing about nightmares had to be that they were so confusing that nothing made sense anymore. Not only one fear was shown but a mix of all the things that terrified the dreamer. And as soon as they thought about how it could be even worse, that exact thing happened.
Lucille experienced that firsthand at the moment. In the beginning, it had been fine. She had only been walking through the Valerian estate without being sure where she wanted to go. But then, she had seen small things that didn't make sense. Like the servants just standing there and watching her. Being stared at made her feel uncomfortable enough.
This only got worse when she found Mathilda. The maid just smiled at Lucille, and still, her eyes held that accusatory glint.
That reminded Lucille of the fact that she had fled while the other woman had died directly in front of her. After that, her brain had been thinking about death, and that hadn't been a good idea. Lucille had quickly noticed that her dream was warping into a vision of her running away while strange men and giant arrows followed her. It felt like she had been running for an eternity until they disappeared.
At that point, Lucille had seen her mother again.
Emily was just standing around motionlessly near a window and looked out. She didn't react, no matter how often her daughter called out to her. And when she did turn around, she just blankly stared at the young woman without saying a single word before disappearing down the hallway, her face half blurry. Being ignored probably hurt more than only seeing Emily in a dream.
When Lucille woke up, she almost began crying. She hurried to jump out of bed and decided to do the only thing that had ever kept her from wailing when she had dreamed about her mother. She took a walk. Lucille put on the most simple dress she had before opening the door of her room.
She received a few odd looks from the knights around her, but she was able to move without being stopped. So, she took that chance and went out for a walk on the third floor. She hugged herself while rounding a few corners and did her best to avoid thinking about anything. But even after she had walked for a bit, she couldn't stop staring at Cedar's door.
The prince was probably asleep now. She couldn't disturb him and wake him up just because she would like him to hug her. She also couldn't quite chime in and lie down next to him like a little child would do with their parent after a nightmare.
So, Lucille forced herself to turn away and walk another round. But that didn't change a thing about her feelings. She wanted to see Cedar so badly. That was why she thought that she imagined the streak of light blue hair in the corner of her eyes. But when she turned and saw him standing there, she quickly realized that this wasn't her imagination at all.
Cedar was walking down the corridor next to her.
Lucille wasn't sure whether she could bother him now, but if he was awake, it shouldn't be an issue. She slowly approached him. She had barely taken a step forward and entered the corridor when Cedar turned around and met her gaze.
He showed her a bright smile and stopped in his tracks to allow her to come to him.
Lucille sped up her steps and only came to a halt in front of him. She looked at him for a moment and had to admit that he looked more alluring than anyone else, even when he was wearing so simple clothes that they wouldn't normally fit a noble. She quickly focused on his face though and greeted him with curiosity. “Good night, Cedar. I didn't expect to see you here. What are you doing here at this time of the day?”
As always, Cedar didn't fail to show her an enchanting smile. “Good night. It's a pleasant coincidence that we met here. I'm just taking a little stroll. What are you doing outside your room? Surely, the guards will protect you at night too, but they are usually a bit...sensitive when people go out at this time.”
Lucille could imagine why. It wasn't forbidden to wander around aimlessly at night, but most would probably guess that she was doing something strange. “I...” She hesitated. Should she say that she had had a nightmare? That was a bit childish. She held back for a moment before she remembered that Cedar had had a nightmare next to her too. He wouldn't make fun of her, no matter what she told him. So, she might as well be honest. “I...had a nightmare. About my childhood. So, I wanted to walk around a bit before going back to bed.”
Cedar didn't laugh at her. Of course, he didn't. He just showed her a soft smile that made her heart skip a beat. “I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it's better now. I would like to help you more than that, but I can't do much. Do you want me to hug you?” That offer came at the right time.
Lucille quickly nodded and stepped closer to him. In an instant, she was caged by a pair of strong arms, and that was already enough to make her relax. She allowed herself to return the hug and leaned against Cedar. “Thank you.” Her words had only been a murmur, but he heard her.
“No problem. You don't have to thank me for helping you when I can. If you want to talk about it later, I am at your disposal. Right now, I unfortunately don't have too much time. But I do have an unlimited amount when I get back.” There he had admitted it.
Lucille had already guessed something like that. “So, you really have something important to do. You said that you wanted to take a stroll, but you are wearing strange clothes. Where do you want to go?”
Cedar replied after letting out a low huff of air. “Of course, you'd notice. I can tell you if you promise to keep quiet. No one can know.”
Lucille became skeptical at that. This meant that he would do something he shouldn't do, right? If so, she should try to keep him from doing it. But he was way too stubborn for him to listen to her. Shouldn't she hear him out so that she could at least guess what he would try though? “I promise to keep quiet.”
“Then I can be honest. I will go out now. I need to visit a pharmacy and pick something up. I'll be back in two hours at most. You can just go back to your room and sleep before seeing me again.”
Lucille froze at that. Did he want to leave the palace while the dowager empress was trying to kill him? She abruptly lifted her head to look up at him. “What? Really? Isn't that a bit...” He would risk getting killed if he ran into the wrong people.
Cedar beamed down at her. “You told me that I'm a good fighter. You can trust that no one will overpower me. And Theodore gave me permission.” That sounded odd. Normally, the emperor was so focused on keeping everyone safe.
Lucille almost couldn't believe that Theodore would give his permission to send his brother out during such a difficult time. Without a guard, for that matter. “He did?”
Cedar didn't bat an eye while he nodded at her. “Indeed. I will bring back something that can help us against Mother. Obviously, he would agree. After I nagged him for the past week, that is. I'm good at being so annoying that people will give in at some point. And my brother did just that. He is pretty upset with me, and this will probably be the last favor I can expect for a while, but I won. And it's completely safe. As you can see, I'm dressed like a servant. Most commoners have no idea what the prince looks like, so it will be fine. Nobles would recognize me, so I'm only going to the part of the city that isn't as attractive to them. The few pickpockets I could meet won't be a big challenge when I have a sword with me. I will use the current festival to move without raising any suspicion, and I'll be back in two hours, like I said. Nothing can go wrong.”
That was more than questionable. Cedar should be way more cautious than that. He should be prepared to be met with the most dangerous things imaginable when he left the palace, especially since they had been attacked just a little over a week ago. And yet, he just stood there and smiled. He didn't seem to worry much about himself.
But that didn't mean that he thought that there wasn't a risk. He just thought that he was stronger than what could attack him.
Lucille wanted him to admit that at least. So, she used the easiest way to make him tell her the truth. “It's been a while since I've been out. Can I join you?”
Cedar immediately tensed in response. “Definitely not. You came to the palace so that you would be safe. I won't drag you out now. It won't take long anyway, and I won't have any time to look around. So. you won't miss anything.”
Lucille shook her head. She refused to let him go out. “You said that it wasn't dangerous. If it isn't, there is no need to keep me from coming with you. So, I will either join you, or you can forget going out. I will tell someone who can stop you.” She was pretty sure that Theodore hadn't agreed after all.
Cedar looked at her for a moment. His grin was a bit wider than before, and the way that he held her made it obvious that he was a bit nervous. He scanned the hallways to ensure that they were alone for the time being. He only gave her the response when a few seconds had passed. “Then we both won't go out. I will bring you to your room and go to sleep afterward.” Liar.
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Lucille didn't even need to point that out, but she did so anyway. “You won't. You would immediately leave after I'm gone. I won't let you. You know it's dangerous, or you wouldn't refuse to let me come with you. So, I won't allow you to go.” For a few seconds, it was silent. She could only hear the rapid beating of her heart as panic rose inside her. She was practically blackmailing Cedar now, wasn't she? It wouldn't be surprising if he got upset because of this. Lucille unwillingly tightened her hold on him while she forced herself to make eye contact. “Are you angry at me now? I know that this is mean, but I...worry.”
Cedar scanned her expression for a moment before he showed her a little smile, which was much more genuine than his brighter one. “How could I? I'm much more stubborn than you are, so I can't blame you for doing what you want. And you're adorable when you get passionate. So, I guess that I will have to deal with this now. After all, it's really safe. The festival's biggest threat is pickpockets, and I can scare them off. Anything else should be fine as long as we stay together. Can you promise me that? That you won't step away from me? You need to stay in my field of view at all times. And you have to listen if I tell you to do something because I feel like it's dangerous.”
He agreed?
Lucille was speechless for a moment. Did she really want to go out? It had been a while, and she had never been in the city by herself. At least not in the area near the palace and certainly not during a festival. Thanks to Cedar's incredible skills, they should be safe. At least if no one knew about them going out anyway.
She knew that this was truly foolish. It was one of the most stupid things she could do, along with taking in an injured prince that had lain in her garden. But that decision back then had been one of the best ones in her life, so she wouldn't refute this chance. Lucille nodded. “I will listen to you, and I will stay right by your side.”
Cedar didn't seem surprised. “I see. Then we will go now. I would like to prepare you more, but there is little we can do. Your attire should be inconspicuous enough, and from now on, you only have to follow me. No titles, no names. Unfortunately, we have no time to stand here and hug for much longer. We need to leave now, or one of the guards will get suspicious of us.”
Lucille only noticed that she was still cuddled against him now. She quickly let go and took a step backward. “I apologize...” She wasn't really sorry, but her embarrassment made her apologize anyway.
Cedar only grinned at her. “I don't mind. You should know that I like hugging you by now.” He looked around once more before he offered her his hand. “So, My Lady. Shall we go out on our secret adventure then? I swear that I will safely bring you home by two o'clock.”
Lucille put her hand on his and nodded at him. She still hadn't fully understood that she would do something so reckless. Still, she followed Cedar, who led her toward the end of the hallway.
They were getting closer to some less important rooms, which she guessed were used as storage rooms. That was confirmed when the room they entered was full of crates and containers, which held utensils the servants normally used.
Cedar didn't seem to be curious about any of those things though. He immediately moved toward the far end and only let go of her to push aside some smaller wardrobe. He revealed a completely normal part of the wall. At least it looked like that until he pulled a small lever near the secret door that suddenly opened. He opened the door and stepped inside the narrow hallway before turning to her. “I know that it's a bit dark and dusty, but I will light a lantern as soon as the door is closed.” He gestured to the mentioned item, which was hanging at the side of his hip. “Please follow me.”
Lucille didn't hesitate to come after him, even if she did it slowly because she feared tripping. “If His Majesty knows about us leaving, then why are we going through such a secret passageway?”
Cedar beamed at her when she reached him and slowly moved around her. When he had squeezed past her, he grabbed the door from the inside and pulled it shut. “Theodore can know. But Mother can't. As long as she doesn't know that I'm out, she won't be able to attack me. That's the only reason I'm even doing this. She has no idea we are visiting the city. And when she finds out, if she does, we will be back already. So, she can't send anyone, and we will return safely in two hours. That is why I won't allow any traitor among the staff to reveal anything. Moving like this will be much easier than using the heavily guarded main entrance, believe me.”
Lucille believed him. But the fact that it was so dark here and that about a million spiders should be running around here made her a bit unwilling.
One of her problems was solved when Cedar moved around and a small hiss sounded. He had lit a match and used it to inflame the lantern. Now they could finally see again. That didn't get rid of the spiders, but Cedar's bright smile told her that it would be alright.
So, Lucille forced herself to smile as well. She couldn't do much except follow Cedar now. He lifted the lantern so that he could see while walking forward.
The hallway here was long, but one didn't have a chance to go straight for more than a few seconds at a time. There were many turns and steps, which Cedar had to warn her about. They took an eternity until the corridor suddenly ended.
Cedar opened another door, and suddenly, a chilly breeze came toward them.
Lucille froze in place until he pulled her forward. She looked up and questioned what she saw for a moment. There were a few trees around them, and grass covered the whole floor. Wasn't this too easy? Why was there a path leading from a storage room to the outside? Intruders could easily use this. She turned around to ask this, only to receive her answer immediately.
Cedar fiddled around with the door for a moment before he pulled out something that vaguely resembled a key. Then he shut the door and made sure that he couldn't open it by pushing against it. He seemed content with that as he put away the key and blew out the lantern. “We will need to find some horse to bring us to the city now. Normally, you can borrow some around there.” He gestured toward the side. “We only have to walk a bit, and then we will be able to rest. Are you fine with moving immediately?”
Lucille quickly nodded. She was the one who had forced him to take her with him. She wouldn't hinder him now. “It's fine. Let's hurry so that we can come back on time.”
Cedar held his hand toward her. He only replied when she had put hers onto his. “I'm rather certain that this will work out, but I won't risk anything. You will not let go of my hand and stay right by my side, alright? I don't want us separating on accident.”
Lucille nodded again. “Of course.” She was much too scared to consider doing anything else. To be honest, she was already overwhelmed despite nothing special happening yet.
The way to the city was enough to make her feel like she had had enough adventures for the next decades. Cedar was used to it though. He somehow found an old house, where he knocked. The man who opened the door gave him a horse for a few gold coins. Then Cedar climbed onto the horse and made her sit in front of him without issues despite her panically clinging to him.
The closer they came to the glowing city in the distance, the louder Lucille's heartbeat got. By the time they reached a stable and Cedar let someone feed the horse there, in exchange for money, of course, she was shivering with nervousness. She needed to convince Cedar that she was fine multiple times. He even offered to bring her back, which she always refused. She was a bit shocked by how easy it was, and she was worried. But she was excited to do this.
Lucille's excitement only grew when they walked into the city gate while holding hands.
The streets were decorated with garlands and lanterns in the most beautiful forms and colors. Even though it was night, everything was brightly illuminated in a golden shimmer, and countless people were running around. Dozens of stalls sold food to the citizens, of which most seemed to be commoners with a medium-sized income, were lining the streets, and vendors yelled about their goods. There were parents and children, and almost all of them were laughing. Some adults stood together to drink, and others chatted loudly in the restaurants and bars, which seemed to have opened their doors to let visitors in.
It was the first time that Lucille had seen such a display. She had never been to a festival, so she couldn't believe her luck to be able to see this. She couldn't help but breathe out her admiration. “It's beautiful.”
As expected, Cedar wasn't too impressed. “And it's pretty full. That's good since no one will question why we are here. But it's also the best opportunity for thieves. I hope we don't run into those. I don't want to beat up people here, or we will draw attention to ourselves.” He said that in such a dry voice that she worried about any poor soul who made the mistake of accidentally targeting the prince.
Lucille looked at him, only to find him scanning the crowd with care. Cedar was already planning how to move efficiently while avoiding anything that could be dangerous. He didn't even think about how to enjoy this. He was only focused on being careful and protecting her and himself. That made her feel a bit bad, but she stayed quiet to let him concentrate.
Cedar was silent for a moment before he spoke up. “No one here looks suspicious. It would be fine if we move forward. We need to go to the end of this street, and the pharmacy is on the far left. We won't have time to look around much longer, but we will act like we came here to visit the stalls. So, we can go slow while you catch a glimpse of some of the things they offer here.” He was surely doing this on purpose. He had originally intended to run to his goal before going back, but now he offered her to look around.
Lucille couldn't help but beam at him. “Thank you very much. I will enjoy this while we walk around. We don't need to stop for me.”
Cedar was smiling as usual, but she could see that he was tense. His words only underlined that. “Alright. All of this should be safe. But you need to keep an eye open. And you can't-”
She knew what he would say, so she nodded already. “I won't let go of your hand. I won't try to move away, and if something is odd, I will tell you. But I doubt that the families here will suddenly pull out weapons. So, let's just go. We shouldn't waste any time.” She gave him a slight tug, and that was all it took.
Cedar nodded and moved forward. He purposefully walked slowly so that she had enough time to gawk at the stalls, but he was on edge constantly. One had to admit that he was hiding it well. His eyes darted around, but he forced himself to be slow enough to make it seem like he was taking in the things around him instead of searching for danger. His smile seemed as if he was happy to be here too. His posture was relaxed, and only his tight grip on her showed her that he was worried.
Lucille was a bit concerned about something going wrong as well, but she was much more relaxed than he was. She at least gave herself a moment to look around and scanned the different stalls. Many vendors sold food and some less expensive items, which were mostly small gifts like flowers, jewelry, clothes and toys or furniture. Lucille quickly found some more valuable objects too. Most were pretty, but nothing caused her to stop since she refused to keep Cedar waiting. When he slowed his steps at some point, she finally had a chance to gaze at the stall next to them properly though.
Apparently, this vendor sold jewelry. She usually wasn't the type to fall in love with something at first glance, but the hair ornament that was lying there almost seemed to call her name. It was a small and elegant clasp with emeralds and thin gold parts, or at least it looked like that. In reality, this piece was probably much less valuable, but Lucille couldn't help staring at it.
A few seconds passed in silence before Cedar's voice snapped her out of it. “There the pharmacy is. We only have to...” He stopped himself when their eyes met. “Did you find something interesting?”
Lucille considered shaking her head, but she was in front of a person who saw through lies as if they were glass. She would rather not try to fool him. “I...looked at that clasp. It's pretty. We can leave now though. I had enough of staring at it.”
Cedar was silent for a moment while he scanned the vendor and the mentioned item. “The green one? It is pretty. It would fit you. Should I buy it?”
Lucille's gaze snapped back to him. “What? Why would you? I just found it pretty, but-”
“It would be a shame to leave it lying there then. After all, the vendors want to make revenue too. Since we're here already, we might as well do them a favor.” He didn't wait for her to complain and pulled her with him.