Lucille's heels clicked on the tiles as she walked through the empty hallways of the Valerian manor. Sometimes, she wished that they had more subordinates. Then she remembered that this would also mean that she would have to interact with them, and that quickly made her change her mind again.
It was eerily quiet right now, which normally was a good sign. If Viscount Raymond Valerian, Lucille's father, wasn't yelling, it proved that the day could be somewhat endurable. Then nothing but a few cold gazes would be directed at her.
But today, Lucille wasn't so sure about that. She rarely ate with her father, and when he called for her, it meant that he wanted her to do something specific. This was usually connected to things she didn't want to do, so she wasn't happy to meet him now. She would have liked to just stay in her room, but she knew that attempting that wouldn't end well. So, she had no choice but to go along with what her father told her. Still, she couldn't hide how tense she was, and even keeping her expression from falling wasn't easy.
A second pair of quieter footsteps followed her and got a bit quicker before the maid caught up to her mistress. “My Lady, I'm sure that everything will be fine. The master only wants the best for you. That's why he is a bit harsh with you sometimes. He just wants you to be happy, so please overlook his attitude. He would be disappointed if he saw that his daughter looks like this when he makes time in his busy day to meet her. Give him a little smile.” Mathilda gestured to her mouth and showed the other woman a small grin. It was easy for her to talk like this when she had never been in Lucille's shoes.
While Mathilda was a good maid, she also was a coward. That meant that her loyalty belonged to the most intimidating person here, which was Viscount Valerian. Raymond could do whatever he wanted, and Mathilda would still defend him. That made it hard to feel any personal connection to her, even if she had served the young lady of the house for five years already.
Lucille would have liked to point out that the maid wasn't the person who had almost been dragged in front of a court for slandering the most influential duke's son because of her father's wishes. She also would have liked to point out that Mathilda hadn't been slapped in the middle of all kinds of events because she had refused to follow Raymond's whims. But of course, she didn't say any of that. She just gave the maid a weak smile and lowered her head to stare at the checkered tiles.
Lucille could only pray that her father didn't insist on her doing any horrific this time. She didn't want to insult other people just because he guessed that their family would have some kind of advantage because of it. Just remembering all the times that she had been forced to take the nobles' hatred upon herself because her father felt the need to order her around made a shiver run down her spine. Hopefully, he was in a good mood and didn't want her to risk being put on trial for offending royalty this time.
The young woman reached the end of the corridor without having looked at the unsettling portraits of their grim ancestors. She lifted her hand and took a deep breath before knocking on the massive wooden door.
“Come in.” A low and cold voice beckoned her inside. As always, her father lacked the desire to put on a facade, which was calming to some extent. If he was nice to her, she would assume that something horrible would happen, so him being cold was fine with her.
Lucille's hand shook as she put it onto the door handle and hurried to open it. If she waited too long, her father would get upset, and she didn't need that right now. She pushed open the door and stepped inside. Then she turned around and slowly closed it again while ensuring that it didn't make a sound. When she faced her father, who lowered his golden pocket watch as she came in, she took a step away from the door to curtsy to him. “Father. I wish you a good evening.”
Raymond didn't bother to fake a polite smile like he did in public for the higher-ranked people. He showed her the same stern expression and gazed at her with the same cold eyes that never changed no matter how long he looked at her. “Good evening, Lucille. Dinner has been prepared. Sit down.” And as always, he didn't see the need to dance around the issue either.
Lucille wasn't sure whether to be relieved at that or whether she should tense even more. She raised her head again and walked toward the table while making sure to keep the clicking of her heels as quiet as possible. She sat down as gracefully as she could and then folded her hands on her lap.
It looked like there was lamb ragù again. Whenever her father's favorite dish, which he assumed her to like too, appeared on the table, it meant that Raymond needed her to do something he deemed important. That realization made her swallow, and she balled her fists. This favor wouldn't be a pleasant one.
At least their seating order was in her favor. Raymond sat at the very end of the long table while she was close to the door. Lucille could only thank the gods for that. This way, she wouldn't have to fear being close to him, and if he decided to get angry at her, she might even be fast enough to dart out of the room before he could yell even more. Not that running away ever helped.
Viscount Valerian gazed at her for a moment before he spoke up. “Eat before it gets cold. We will have to discuss something during the meal. Is that an issue for you?”
Lucille gave him a faint smile while clutching the fabric of her dress. “Of course not, Father. Please go ahead and tell me what you wish to say. I will listen.” She was forced to let go of her skirt and lifted her hands to pick up the utensils from the table. She focused all of her attention on keeping her hands steady and lowered the knife to cut the lamb. If she dropped the fork, she would be in trouble. If the knife scraped across the plate, she would be in trouble too. So, she had to be as careful as possible while still being somewhat graceful. Doing it without pressure was hard enough, but waiting for her father to give her the bad news made it worse.
Raymond was quiet for just long enough to let her pick up the first piece of flesh before he spoke. “I was always a bit hesitant when it came to this matter. After all, we both know that you could use some more time to refine your manners, but I fear that delaying it much more would cause issues. Lucille, you are eighteen years old now. I do not need to tell you what this means.”
Lucille chewed on the small bite she had taken, and even this seemed to be big enough for her to choke. What exactly was her father talking about? There was only one thing that came to her mind when it was about her age playing a big role. But she couldn't believe that he really brought this up. It took all of her self-control to swallow the piece of flesh that suddenly seemed to have lost all flavor as she lowered her utensils. “You couldn't possibly be referring to an engagement, right, Father?” She was sure of the answer before she received it.
If there was one thing Raymond Valerian worked for, it was power. And to gain power, a marriage with an influential family was a valid method.
Her father remained as cool as always while he finished the bite he had taken before he met her gaze. “I guessed that you would understand quickly. Good. Since you are eighteen already, we lost two years in which you could have gotten engaged to a suitable partner. Thankfully, it seems like there are many bachelors of your age left. Since the political tension between the royal factions was resolved, this will quickly change though. Thus, we need to act quickly.”
Lucille had known that this would happen at some point. She had known that ever since she had learned the basic rules of noble society, and still, it was a shock to her. An arranged marriage shouldn't be anything new for a young lady. Yet, it felt like the air was sucked out of her lungs.
Was she nervous when it came to this matter? Definitely. She had no experience regarding relationships. She was as lost as anyone who was confronted with this for the first time would be.
But was she scared? That depended on whom her father had chosen. If Lucille was lucky, that man would be kind. Then she could get along with him and would be safe from her father's wrath since she had done well for their family. But if that man was similar to Raymond, she wasn't sure whether she would be able to endure it. In that case, running away like her own mother seemed like a valid option. She wouldn't leave her children behind if she had some though.
“I understand, Father. I will trust your judgment when it comes to a suitable partner. Do you have a family in mind, or have you perhaps contacted them already?” Lucille scanned his expression while being careful not to move around too much.
Much like she stared at him, the viscount gazed at her face too. It looked like Raymond was trying to pierce her very soul with his dark gray eyes, which were so much more intimidating than hers even though they had the same color. He remained silent for a moment and took in her reaction, which made her clench the fork tighter. Then he finally replied. “As you know, I do not intend to let a person from a lower rank marry into our family. Instead, this marriage shall be beneficial to our house. This means that you will need to marry the heir of a count, a marquess or a duke. Naturally, the last option would be the most admirable one. However, as expected, I cannot just send a marriage proposal to the most influential families in our nation.” Which meant that he had chosen someone whose rank was much higher than their family's.
Lucille bit the inside of her lip while bargaining with herself. Should she ask again? She wasn't sure whether he was willing to tell her, but she didn't want to stay in the dark for much longer. “It seems to me that you already chose a candidate. Would you be willing to elaborate on who he is?”
Luckily, Raymond didn't get angry. He just calmly replied to her question. “Indeed. I am uncertain whether we will be successful in this matter, but this is entirely dependent on you.”
Lucille felt a cold shiver run down her spine as she gripped her utensils tighter. No. She knew what this meant. If she failed here, he would never forgive her for her entire life. She didn't want to live with her father's wrath for the next three decades until he died at some point. “I understand. Then would you please tell me who you are talking about?”
Viscount Valerian took his time to eat a bit from his plate before drinking some wine. Only then, he replied. “I naturally made this choice with the best for our family and your future in mind. The highest-ranking man in this nation is taken and certainly will not show interest in another woman. Unfortunately, the only other male relative of the royal family is branded a traitor, so there is no way that he would be an option. Lord Duremont already has a fiancée, and as you know His Grace, the Duke of Lamont, is much too old, and he only has a daughter. You are close with her, but this will not help us either. If we do not have any other choice, you will have to ask her to bring you together with one of her relatives. But for now, the most promising candidate would be Duke Vasquez. He is young, only five years older than you, and does not have a fiancée or a lover as far as I could find out. Since he recently took on the duties of his late father, he may be stressed and could need the helping hand of a duchess. He will be a perfect target.”
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Lucille should have known. Of course, her father would aim for the most powerful unmarried man he could find. Luciano Vasquez was probably nice. She didn't even know that for sure since she had never talked to him unless they were greeting each other. But either way, the difference in their status was insane. A viscount sending a marriage proposal to a duke himself would definitely be seen as impudent.
Since her father had pointed that out, it meant that he wouldn't rely on a normal strategy to find a husband for her. He wanted to send her out herself and force her to get closer to a man who was way out of her reach. But Lucille couldn't just walk up to a duke and try to seduce him, especially since she didn't have the experience or desire to do so. She needed her father to change his mind, or she would end up making herself the laughingstock of noble society.
Even though Lucille knew that it was useless, she made one pathetic attempt. “By marrying, he would take away his mother's title, would he not? Since he is unmarried, she currently still holds the title of the duchess, but she would lose it as soon as he takes in a wife. I am not sure whether he would be willing to do that just a few months after his father died. It was very traumatic for them, so I doubt that His Grace would be interested in anything romantic.”
Raymond didn't do much, but the look in his eyes got even colder. That was enough to make her shrink as he responded. “There does not have to be anything romantic either. I expect you to find out whether he would be more interested in something like true love or whether he wants a functional marriage. As you know, our family may not have a high-ranking noble title, but we have a good standing in the businesses in the capital. His Grace is very much interested in things like this, so that will give us an advantage. Aside from that, the recent loss of his father should make him dependent on others' support. You can either try to win him over directly by helping him deal with this, or you can approach his mother first and get along with her. The methods are unimportant as long as the result will be appropriate. He seems to be an upright young man, so I believe that he will treat you with respect. He will be the best option for your future. There shouldn't be any issues. Correct?”
Lucille had to hold back from crying out that all of this was wrong. There was no way that a duke would allow a viscount's daughter to approach him. Luciano would either push her away while just being harsh, or he would ruin her reputation completely. If the latter thing happened, her chances of marriage might be ruined completely because of her father's ideas. She wouldn't care, but Raymond would, and that would make her life a nightmare. “Father...” Her voice was quiet as she called out to him so that he didn't even hear her and just continued.
“We should hope that he is eager to make connections now. Or that he believes in fate and thinks that your similar names are some kind of sign. This would make it much easier. But of course, we cannot rely on that. You will have to find out what type of woman he likes and act accordingly. Whether that means that you have to become the epitome of a well-mannered lady who will lead his house or a quiet woman who will leave everything to him, it does not matter. Naturally, you will not do anything that harms our family's reputation though. And in case he turns out to be unfitting, we will naturally change our approach.”
Lucille felt like a huge weight was put onto her shoulders at that. She had never been more scared of one of her father's tasks. “Father...” This time, she had managed to be loud enough to get his attention. Lucille hurried to speak up while trying to keep her face from showing too much worry. “I do not wish to disappoint you, but I fear that this will be impossible. You know that I'm not a good actress. I can act like I am arrogant if I truly have to, but even that is hard on me. Do you remember the last time that you wished for me to approach someone so influential? It never ends well because I am just not good at dealing with other people. Father, I can't act like a completely different person to make someone fall in love with me.”
Raymond silenced her with a cold glare, and the temperature around them seemed to drop. “As I said, love is not necessary. As long as he treats you respectfully and marries you, anything is fine. Whether he wants money, more businesses, a competent partner, an obedient wife or someone that challenges him. We will offer him all of that. Lucille, that man is the only influential bachelor who is not taken and has no records of fooling around with women, which means that he is your best bet. You only have two choices. Either you hope that he is interested in the kind of personality that you have or that you can act out, or you will have to improve your acting skills. It is good to hear that you do not wish to disappoint me since I do not want to experience that either. This man is influential, so you cannot offend him.”
Lucille almost began crying at that. How could her father not see that the limitations weren't just what she desperately wanted? No matter how much effort she put in, she could never make a duke who didn't like her agree to a marriage. Even if she begged as much as she wanted to, she wouldn't have a chance here. She also wasn't a woman who had an easy time seducing men. No, it was the opposite. She had never been interested in anyone, and no one had ever been interested in her.
And worse than that, she hated interacting with strangers. If there was one thing she couldn't do, it was approaching those she didn't know and striking up a conversation. How would someone like her, without a high-ranking background, even dream about impressing the duke who was the third most influential man in this nation right after the emperor and Duke Duremont?
As if this wasn't enough, her father also wanted to blame her if she didn't manage to do the impossible. This was ridiculous.
While she almost broke down, Viscount Valerian calmly ate his lab ragù and looked at her as if she was the irresponsible one. His cold eyes made her want to hide herself under thick layers of blankets, but she could only meet his gaze. Her father had already decided that this would be how it was from now on. “We will discuss everything else later. Just remember that you will have to be successful, or we need to settle for less. I will give you as many hints as you need. You have free access to all books in the library, even the ones you weren't allowed to touch before. You have time until he finds another fiancée, which would destroy our plans. Do well. If you have any concerns or thoughts about this, inform me. For now, we will just eat.”
That wasn't a request. It was an order.
Lucille silently returned to cutting her meal before she focused on eating it while reminding herself not to show her emotions. For the rest of dinner, it was completely silent, and she felt like she could not make any noise at all. She could barely swallow her food, but somehow, she did it.
When they were finally finished, she curtsied to her father before leaving the room. As soon as she closed the door behind her, tears threatened to overcome her, but she refused to do this here where people could see her.
Mathilda was already waiting for her and gave her a look full of empathy. “Was it something bad, My Lady? If you tell me, I will do my best to help you.” No, she wouldn't help. She would only tell the other woman how well Viscount Valerian meant it and that Lucille should be thankful to have such a considerate father. She always said that even when she was the one that fetched the ice for her mistress' swollen cheek.
Lucille gritted her teeth and balled her fists. She wanted to yell that all of this was unfair to the world, but all she did was give her maid a pathetic smile. “It's fine. I would like to be alone now. I will take a walk in the garden and be back in a minute. Would you prepare a warm pudding for me and bring it to my room, so that I can eat it when I get back? And I want to take a warm bath too if that's possible.”
The maid hurriedly nodded. “Of course, My Lady. I will take care of both immediately. You can eat as soon as you come back. Don't worry!” With that, she ran off without feeling the need to ask why her mistress was almost crying.
Lucille hadn't expected anything else. She turned around without another word and walked toward the exit. She did her best to keep her head high without crying. She only needed to take a few more steps, and then she could let out everything at the small river near the walls surrounding their estate. There, she would vent a bit, and afterward, she would take a hot bath. If needed, she could even hold her head underwater and scream then. That wouldn't change her situation, but she might be able to hold herself together and stop feeling like her life would crumble underneath her fingers soon.
Her father had always given insolent orders or asked her to do things she was unwilling to even try. It had ranged from flattering strange old men so that they would agree to his business proposals to insulting the emperor's mistress in an attempt to get her to snap at Lucille. Some things had worked out, but some had backfired horribly. And no matter what, Lucille was always blamed even if Raymond's task had been responsible for the issues in the first place.
She couldn't win either way though. Even when she was successful, she felt like she was punished because she felt dirty after being used for some greedy strategy. That had never mattered though. Her father didn't care about whether she was content. He just cared for power, and if he could gain more by using her, he wouldn't hesitate to make her do whatever it took to become just a bit more influential.
Knowing that had made everything a bit easier because Lucille had quickly noticed that she couldn't expect affection or kindness from her father anymore, not after they had grown so distant. Still, it stung to see how well other families got along with each other. Especially when she saw mothers who cared for their daughters for a change. She would like everything to go back to how it had been before, with her mother and her father caring for her openly, but that was a foolish wish.
Lucille pushed open the door and let it fall shut behind her before looking around. As always, the garden was empty in the evening. The sun was already setting, and most servants were retreating to go to sleep. It was perfect for her to blow off some steam.
She lifted the hem of her dress and rushed toward the outer edge of the estate. She crossed the small bridge and reached the other side of the little river, which wasn't even broad enough to deserve to be called a river. She forced herself to take the last few steps forward and then allowed herself to fall onto her knees next to the water. She looked around again.
No one was here.
Lucille crouched forward and gave up on holding herself back. In an instant, she felt tears forming in her eyes, and a half-loud “Why?” escaped her throat. It was unfair. So unfair. Why couldn't her mother have taken her along? Why couldn't she have the slightly more affectionate father from a few years ago back? Why couldn't Raymond be content with what they had? A normal marriage would be fine, but he just had to send her on an impossible mission that would end up ruining her reputation completely. But he had made up his mind, and now her complaints would fall on deaf ears. Refusing was probably the only thing that was worse than failing here. Lucille lifted her hand and slammed it down onto the ground in frustration, only to freeze.
The soil was wet. It shouldn't have rained though.
She slowly lowered her gaze and expected to find out that the river had overflown and wet the grass, but that wasn't it. The water from the river wasn't this sticky, and it certainly wasn't red either. She paled and hurled herself backward onto her feet. She took a step back and stared at the liquid that pooled on the grass.
That was blood.
Lucille's first instinct was to run away. She should just sprint toward the house and tell her father what she had found. He would certainly know how to deal with this. But then she found another smaller pool of blood a bit farther away. And that wasn't even everything.
A trail of this red liquid led all the way into the bushes. Someone here was hurt, and it wasn't just a small wound. Was this the blood of a servant? Most likely. Who else would be in the estate?
Lucille's legs almost gave in, but she forced herself to step forward. If someone was hurt, she had to help them. There couldn't be any wild animals inside here, so she couldn't be in danger. Right? She slowly and carefully moved toward the bushes and raised her shaky voice. “Hello?”
No response came.
That only made her confidence shrink so much that nothing was left. If a servant was hurt, they would certainly respond to someone calling them out. Or were they unconscious?
That thought was what kept Lucille moving. She approached the bushes and dug her fingers into the fabric of her dress. “Is someone there?”
Still no response.
Even so, she walked to the bushes and pushed aside the leaves with her trembling hand. “Are you-” She cut herself off as she found the source of the crimson pools on the grass.
Right in front of her, a man was lying in a sea of his own blood.