“She will be beheaded in front of us. I won't make you watch that, but you will know that it happens. If you were still as dependent on her as before, that would have crushed you too. Because you believe that it is your fault if she gets punished, even though it is only hers. You always do.”

That did make sense even if Cedar didn't want to admit it. He knew that his mother would get executed. A part of him looked forward to that since it meant that no one else could get hurt by his mother then anymore. And yet, imagining that she would die right in front of him while he knew that it would happen was horrible. Cedar would without a doubt hate himself for not intervening when he had definitely had the chance. So, his brother was right.

But Cedar wouldn't say that.

“I will manage. I have known that it would come for the past year now. You don't need to be considerate of me for much longer.” Cedar showed Theodore a bright smile, which probably just proved the opposite of what he was saying. “That isn't what we need to worry about at all. Something else should be your priority. If Mother gets executed for her crimes, it will seem strange if I stay here in the palace while being close to you. It's not like you can deny that I am guilty too. I was old enough to understand what was happening during the first assassination attempt, and after that, it only got worse. I was following Mother blindly for years, and the people know that. They will ask why the vile second prince should be rewarded with a life of luxury when Mother is being robbed of everything.” He had just meant to address another topic to distract, but apparently, he had made a bad choice.

Theodore was almost indignant when he replied. “Never call yourself vile, you hear that? Stop insulting yourself. You aren't stupid, and you never were. That woman didn't raise you to disobey. She made sure that refusing her was never part of your options, and whenever that seemed to change, she hurt you or sent assassins after you. That is why I don't want to hear you say that you were stupid or naive or that you were at fault in any way. You are the victim. You can admit that to yourself.”

Logically speaking, this might seem true to an outsider. But Cedar remembered the past. He knew what he had done wrong, and he had memorized each person he had hurt. In most cases, this hadn't happened because he had wanted it but because he had been forced to act by external circumstances or because of one of his breakdowns. He still regretted each time. But that didn't undo what had happened. Cedar wasn't a good person. He had caused much more harm than he had done good. “You know-”

Theodore cut him off. “No. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened around you. I have no reason to lie to you, do I? Why don't you trust me? You know how much that woman influenced you and what she demanded of you. You can't tell me that you ever actively wanted to hurt someone. Stop blaming yourself. You weren't vile in the past, and now you even managed to turn around and step away from the terror that accompanies that woman. That you stood up to her despite her influence only shows how strong you are. You didn't let that control you for the rest of your life. You fought. From now on, you will use your strength to protect the people you love and to help our nation whenever you can. Right?”

That was what Cedar had planned. If he was being forced to work for his brother, he could at least try to do some helpful things. “Even so, I would still argue that I see things differently than you do.” He had wanted to say more but closed his mouth when he saw his brother's expression.

Theodore looked like he wasn't ready to discuss with him in any way. “That may be true, but you are wrong. I can give you a long list of reasons why you blame yourself, and all of them were created by that woman. But I won't do that today. I just want you to keep in mind that no one around you hates you or thinks that you are a bad person. Leon likes you by now too, and his intuition is unbeatable. Blanche, Aurora and Lucille seem to be content with your presence as well. I am glad that you are here too. So, you're outnumbered. Leave making assessments about your personality to us. Understood?”

Cedar didn't agree with this at all. But he didn't really care enough to discuss this either. “Understood. I will accept your verdict.” But he didn't agree with it. “Was that all you wanted to tell me? You said that there was something else as well.” His blinding smile and that he changed the topic definitely hinted at the fact that he wasn't happy about this subject at all.

Theodore was kind enough to comply. “Indeed. This is about our childhood.” By the gods, no. That was even worse.

“Theodore, I don't think-”

The emperor immediately cut him off. “No, this is important. Because I just found out about something rather unpleasant.” He moved his hands to the folder to his right and began pulling out some papers. “I already told you that I was jealous of you when we were younger, right? Because you were so quick at learning, good at making people like you and managed to propose political ideas the ministers liked so much that they introduced them to Father. The empress also backed you then, so that was another advantage you had. That is why I worried about Father changing his mind and making you crown prince.”

Cedar had heard that already after Camille's banquet. He had had trouble believing that the older brother he had always envied had been jealous of him back then, and now it was still the same. “I have to admit that I am skeptical when it comes to this. Wasn't our unbalanced rivalry the main problem here? I am sure that you didn't forget that, but I want to remind you, just in case.”

Theodore wordlessly put down the papers on the table. He shoved them over to his brother. “I was a bit skeptical about some things that I heard. After all, you keep claiming that I repeatedly won our rivalry, and some people also told me that during our childhood. But I can clearly remember that some of my teachers kept praising you for your skills. My dance teacher said that you were better than all the children she had ever taught and that she wasn't sure why you were even attending lessons with her anymore. Likewise, my tutor for literature and politics often gushed about your essays and even wanted to use some for reference for their future students. So, I wanted to check something. Take a look at this.” He gestured to the papers.

Cedar lowered his head and read through the documents in front of him. It only took a few seconds before he recognized the typical test structure his teachers had used in the past. Of his written tests, Cedar had answered almost every question correctly, with only a handful of mistakes being mixed in.

Yet, the teachers had always calmly informed him that Theodore had either not made any mistakes at all or that he had made fewer than Cedar. This had been extremely frustrating when the prince had only been able to do better than Theodore once or twice in the first fifteen years of his life. What would showing him this do now?

Cedar glanced up at his brother, who was watching him expectantly, before he continued to read. He quickly found out that the left stack only consisted of some of his old tests. He had been rather good in those, but he didn't feel very proud about being able to show what his teachers had demanded of him. “I'm not sure-” He didn't finish.

Theodore put a second stack in front of him.

Cedar eyed him with skepticism, but he gave up. He began reading. Those were tests as well, but the handwriting didn't belong to him. Since the royal family only had one more child that would take these tests, those were probably Theodore's. Cedar almost rolled his eyes. What did his brother want to prove? Did Theodore want to brag about being better? Cedar didn't need that. He still obeyed and read through the tests.

He quickly noticed one thing that made him a little skeptical. When he glanced over at his own tests, that became even more obvious.

There was no way.

Cedar picked up two tests about the same topic and compared the answers. Then he did the same with another test. And then with another one. But the result was similar each time.

Theodore was great, without a doubt. But he had never been much better than his brother. He had scored higher exactly twice. Of the tests here, four had ended with the brothers reaching the same amount of points. The other four tests clearly showed that Cedar had been better with his perfect score while his brother was missing a few points. But that couldn't be right.

Cedar remembered that he had only been better than Theodore twice, not just during these ten tests but in general. He had etched those events into his memory, so he was completely certain. On every other day, he had been told that he was worse than his brother or that he had barely reached the same amount of points with less structured answers. Why did the result here say something different? The solution to that was obvious.

His teachers had lied to his face. And there was only one reason for them to do that.

Camille had ordered them to do so. Her reason for that was obvious too. She had wanted Cedar to be better than Theodore, so implanting an inferiority complex into her son's head would work like a charm to make him want to learn more and more until he almost collapsed.

Cedar stared at the papers in front of him for at least a minute. He confirmed the result thrice, but it stayed the same. He had been better than Theodore. This was so infuriating that he couldn't help but chuckle at it. “Are you joking? This is ridiculous.”

“Indeed. I was told something different as well, and I assume that your teachers were responsible for this lie. They not only graded you much harsher than me, but you often did better anyway. That might have been connected to you learning the constitution by heart while I never even thought about doing that. You worked much harder than I did, so this was the logical consequence. I presume they didn't tell you about that.”

Of course not. Those teachers had wanted the prince to hate his brother, who was always so much better. So, they had worked together to twist the story until Cedar had believed it. Apparently, they had spun their lies for years, and he had only noticed now. His actual skill had never mattered, just Camille's desire to cause discord.

Cedar gritted his teeth and did his best to make his smile more faint. If he beamed like this, Theodore would notice how upset he was, and Cedar couldn't have that. “No. They did not tell me. I was told that I had only managed to beat you during such a test twice in my entire life and that you were better most of the time.” He noticed that he was holding onto the papers with a bit too much force and quickly loosened his hold to avoid crumbling them.

Theodore had a grim expression on his face while he replied. “I expected this much. Those people collectively lied to your face and forgot to mention how good you actually were. Those were the tests we took when I was fifteen, by the way. You had to take them in the same year, even though you were only ten. That is an additional factor that shows that they demanded way too much of you. You still delivered, and they didn't even manage to praise you. I feel like you need to understand that now. I wasn't jealous of you for no reason. You were five years younger and still had reached the same level of knowledge as I had at that time. This summarizes what that woman did to you rather well. None of the things she told you were actually true.”

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Cedar would argue about that statement, but he agreed that most things Camille told him had been lies. He was well aware of that, and still, he had never been able to resist her before meeting Lucille. He stared down at the tests for a moment longer before he put them on the table and met his brother's gaze. “It seems like I was misinformed then. So, the younger incapable brother isn't that incapable, huh?”

Theodore replied without skipping a beat. “You never were incapable. You are exceptionally good at almost everything you touch. I have been told that it was the same with me, but that doesn't make it less impressive for you. Especially if one considers that you worked on your sword-fighting skills and learned all about politics at the same time while I just focused on the latter topic. Simultaneously, you had to deal with some hysteric woman who caused more problems for you than for anyone else. And if I remember correctly, you even took over some of her duties as the empress. The documents she handed over to Father, or rather the ones she made you hand over, were only signed by her, and she had you write them. Both Father and I noticed that the word choice was much more deliberate all of a sudden and that the handwriting had changed.”

Cedar couldn't deny it. When Camille hadn't been in the mood to work, her son had been forced to take on her duties. “We talked about that once already, right? I had to give up quite a bit of free time to help her. But that isn't really special. You helped Father in his office too.”

“Indeed. I helped him.” Theodore stressed that word to underline his intention. “You did everything for that woman so that you had to balance learning, training, keeping her from throwing tantrums and working as the empress in a way. Your life was very busy.”

Cedar was aware of that, but that didn't truly matter when they were talking about this. “And? What is that supposed to mean? I am unsure what to do with this information.”

Theodore rested his chin on his palm and scanned his brother for a moment. He looked right into Cedar's eyes while he replied. “I wanted to prove that I am not lying when I say the following. You are much better than you believe yourself to be in general. You were always so focused on making that woman proud, even though she never praised you despite your great accomplishments. But you never were the problem. You are good enough. You are more than good enough. So, you can be proud of yourself.”

Cedar was genuinely confused by such comments. He almost would have liked to frown, but he could only smile in response.

Theodore didn't even leave a second of a break as he continued his odd speech. “You know more about the constitution than the emperor and the ministers combined. You already helped our nation by convincing the ministers to listen to your ideas when you were a child. And you are the person who probably secured peace the most by simply holding back that woman whenever she caused trouble. You are more compassionate than you think you are, and you are capable enough to deal with almost anything. That is a fact. Sometimes, you may just be harsh while evaluating yourself. Do you remember our duel?”

How could Cedar forget that? That day, Theodore had been at the same level of skills despite Cedar having been much better for his whole life. He still remembered the disappointment and shame that had risen inside him after that duel. “Yes. I remember.”

Theodore gave him a weak smile as he responded. “Back then, I only agreed to a duel to confirm how good you were. I knew that you had trained ever since you could pick up a sword, and still, I was surprised. You are one of the most skillful fighters I've ever seen. To you, it probably looked like we were on the same level at first glance, but that isn't true. I will be honest with you. You were much better.”

Cedar opened his mouth to explain that he didn't need to hear that at all, but he had no chance.

Theodore already resumed. “Let me explain. When we fought, you were still in the middle of recovering from a flesh wound that had prevented you from training for a while, so you were obviously weakened. Then you took a heavy sword, even though you favor much lighter ones, and didn't ask for something else, so you had another disadvantage. We fought fairly, but I feel like you held back much more than I did because you didn't want anyone to misunderstand, which could have happened if you had accidentally hurt me. And you managed to read all of my moves despite never having seen me fight while I knew your fighting style. In short, you would win easily in a serious fight or even in a duel now while you are recovered fully, even if I put up a fight.”

Hearing that truly felt wrong. Cedar wasn't used to people complimenting his skills, and when his brother did it, it felt like something derogatory had to follow. But Theodore seemed genuine in his praise.

The prince wasn't sure whether he could trust that his brother was telling the truth, but he couldn't argue against those reasons. It was true that he hadn't been in his best form during that duel. It would definitely be calming to know that he was still better than his brother, but he doubted that that was the truth. Right now, Theodore was just trying to raise the prince's confidence, and that created more questions than it gave answers.

Cedar scanned his brother's expression while trying to find out what was going on inside his head. Why was Theodore doing this? It wouldn't help the emperor if his brother was convinced that he was better. In fact, that could only cause problems for Theodore if Cedar decided that he was a better ruler or something stupid like that. “May I ask one question?”

The emperor replied immediately. “Go ahead.” He leaned back in his chair and listened while keeping his eyes on the prince.

Cedar considered waiting for a moment longer to phrase the sentence in his head before saying it out loud, but he doubted that he could be subtle about this. So, he allowed himself to be direct. “I would like to voice one concern here. Why are we talking about this? Why is this so important to you? It shouldn't matter whether I am still convinced of what those people told me in the past.”

Theodore let his head fall backward and let out a sigh. “You're awfully dense for someone so clever. I told you that I care already, right? You can believe me when I say that.” Sure. But that was hard to understand. Theodore had hated, or at least heavily disliked, his younger brother for two decades. Suddenly saying the opposite made little sense.

Especially since Cedar couldn't quite deal with that response. He wasn't sure what to say and could only blink at his brother and hope that something else would follow, but nothing came. He was quiet for a moment before he replied. “You know, I feel like you hit your head sometime after the revolt. You're suddenly different. I mean, you were different after I came out of confinement too, but now you reverted to your naive self. What happened to your direct and threatening personality? If I remember correctly, I came into the palace intending to stab you in the back. Why would you-”

Theodore cut him off. “You're doing it again. Stop listing reasons why this is a horrible idea whenever someone tells you that they care. You can't do anything about that, so just accept it, you stubborn idiot. And don't worry about me being intimidating enough. I have no qualms about harming those who oppose us. Since you are on our side, you won't have to worry about that though.”

Cedar wasn't sure. He felt like it might be better for him to worry at least a little when his brother was this odd. “I see. Then I won't be able to convince you to change your stance to become more careful. But please remember to keep up your guard.”

For some reason, that made a smile grow on Theodore's lips. He stayed quiet for a few seconds before he responded with a hint of playfulness in his voice. “Say. Did you notice this already? You are doing it again. You worry about someone without wanting to admit it. Does that mean that you care about me as well? At least a tiny bit?”

It should have been easy to laugh at that. Cedar was rather sure that he didn't have any personal relationship with his brother that would make him worry about him. But it wasn't like Cedar had never watched his mother plotting with concern.

Cedar had been the one to warn his brother about all eventualities. Surely, he had done that to protect Lucille and himself. But he had actually done that to keep Theodore, Blanche and Aurora safe as well. After all, he did pity them a little. He had seen how cruel Camille could be for no reason. He had witnessed how his mother had suddenly begun hating and attacking Theodore in the most vile ways imaginable, and it would be a lie to say that he had been happy about that.

As a child, Cedar had always claimed to hate Theodore, but by now, he knew that that wasn't it. He had enjoyed playing with his brother while they had been young. They had spent enough time exploring the palace together whenever Camille had been gone.

But until now, Cedar had interpreted that as being completely neutral when it came to his brother. He had told himself that he didn't really care what would happen either way, that he just needed a powerful ally. He had been more annoyed when Theodore had talked about them getting along, and he had been quite angry with his brother whenever the topic of keeping Camille alive had come up.

But did that mean that there was a chance of Cedar actually having developed some kind of bond with Theodore? They had worked together for the past months and regularly saw each other when he came to visit the royal couple to drink tea with them. Recently, he had spent a lot of time with his brother. There was no denying it.

But Cedar definitely wouldn't wonder about whether he had begun to see Theodore and Blanche as more as the people who gave him a convenient home. “I am worried about what my mother will do if you mess up. That is normal, is it not? Would it be better for me to ignore the dangers while telling you that it will just work out?” Cedar hated himself for replying like this when he was met with his brother's grin.

Theodore seemed to be amused about all of this. But at least he decided not to be an annoying idiot. “Fine. We won't talk about that. But you will need to promise me one thing.” He became a bit more serious while saying that. “We'll work on the issues that woman caused. Whether those may be related to how she emotionally abused you, what she demanded of you or what limitations you set yourself. I would like to see you opening up to others with time. And I want us to forget the wedge that woman drove between us. We're brothers. It would be nice if we could get along.”

Cedar had heard that a few times already, but for some reason, it sounded more meaningful today. He smiled at his brother and added a reply that he hoped would hide how confused he was. “Let's take one step after the other. We have been talking to each other for a while without going at each other's throats, so I would say that we made progress. And I don't plan on causing trouble in the future either, so it should stay like this. There is only one issue.” He waited until his brother got a bit concerned before resuming with a bright smile. “We don't need to fuel the old rivalry again. We can't challenge each other too often, and playing chess is probably a bad idea too. But aside from that, it should be fine as long as we don't intrude into one another's personal life.”

Theodore was a bit relieved to hear that there wasn't a big issue. He let out a little snort at the end. “You mean that it will be fine if I leave you and Lucille alone, right? Don't worry. I won't get involved again. I apologize for intervening before. From now on, you can do whatever you want by yourself. I won't bother you when it comes to you getting engaged or married. But I will help you plan the wedding when the time comes. A royal wedding needs to be wonderful after all.” He was thinking rather far already.

Cedar didn't dare to imagine marrying Lucille yet. He was a bit too scared about hoping, only to be disappointed later. “That is far off in the future. I won't worry about marrying at this point in time when there is so much to do first.” Still, he couldn't help but wonder how beautiful Lucille would look while wearing a wedding gown.

Theodore grinned at his brother while he replied. “Indeed. First, you have to get engaged and have the engagement party.”

Cedar hadn't meant to imagine that either, but the thought was surprisingly nice. Announcing that Lucille was his future wife would definitely be satisfying when it happened. If it did happen. For some reason, he was already assuming that he would marry Lucille without considering whether her feelings might change. And yet, he couldn't keep himself from thinking about that. Without noticing it, an honest smile formed on his lips. “We'll see about that. When that happens, I will plan it with Lucille though. We can't have you and your wife take over and make it into a party that is so novelettish that everyone wants to gag.” Even if he wouldn't mind that if Lucille liked it.

For a few seconds, it was silent, and Cedar already wondered whether he had said something wrong.

But then Theodore spoke up, still with a wide grin on his face. “You know, one can see the difference if one pays close attention. I like seeing it when you smile for real. It's surprisingly refreshing.”

Cedar almost considered putting on his fake smile again. He had to remind himself that smiling normally wasn't an issue, but it still felt strange to know that his brother could read him like this. “You are saying odd things again. The last time you did that was after I came out of confinement for the first time, and you told me that you had never been so happy to see my, I quote, ‘stupid smile’. I was slightly taken aback by that.”

Theodore let out a little laugh at that. “I'm sorry about that. I may have been a bit overwhelmed because I had worried about you being different. But when you had that same smile as normal, it was rather calming. But, well. That doesn't matter.” He smiled at his brother in return. “I already kept you here for too long, didn't I? Go back to your lover. She is probably longingly waiting for you.”

Cedar pushed away the memory of him and Lucille kissing on the bed, and quickly, he had to pull out his fake smile to hide his embarrassment. “Of course. I missed her for the past few minutes too. So, I will hurry back to her now.” Hopefully, Lucille wouldn't be as bashful as he expected her to be, or it would be awkward for a little while.

But since Cedar, who was rather shameless, was embarrassed, the odds of her blushing as soon as he came back were pretty high. And he hoped to take full advantage of that.