Lucille should not have been that nervous. It was just a little visit, and many people were directly next to her, but she couldn't help it.
Her father had written a letter and announced that he would come to the palace. That letter had arrived two days ago, so Lucille had had enough time to prepare. Yet, that didn't seem to be enough. Now she had to stand by the entrance and wait for him. Angelica joined her to take care of everything, but that barely served to decrease Lucille's nervousness.
It had been a while since she had been alone with her father. The last few times she had met him, people had always surrounded them, and now she would probably offer him some tea in her room without anyone else there. She didn't expect him to lash out at her, merely because she hadn't seen him enough to upset him, but she was still worried. In the end, that didn't help her much though. She only stood there and waited until the carriage arrived.
Viscount Valerian arrived as punctually as always. In fact, everything about him seemed as it normally did. His expression was as cold as before, so she assumed that nothing had happened at the estate. Still, he looked a bit more stressed than normal, even if Lucille couldn't put her finger on what gave her that impression. Raymond came toward her and stopped when she hinted a small curtsy. “Good afternoon, Lucille. You've...How are you feeling? Is the wound closed?”
Lucille slowly let go of her dress and straightened her posture. “Good afternoon, Father. I think there shouldn't be any issues. The royal doctor examines me every few days. He was able to take out the thread, and now the top part of the skin still needs to heal. The wound is closed completely and won't reopen either. It's just...” She stroked over her arm while being uncertain how to phrase it. “The skin...might not...recover completely. I could end up with...a little scar.” She wasn't sure what she expected. But silence greeted her, and that only served to worry her. “I mean, it won't be big, so it should be fine. It's only the diameter of-”
Raymond cut her off there. “That doesn't matter. You almost died. What is important is that you survived that and that the wound healed. And that you won't carelessly jump in front of arrows anymore.”
Lucille was pleasantly surprised by that. She slowly nodded. “Of course, I won't.” She hadn't done this on purpose last time either. It had been a reflex to protect Cedar. She didn't regret doing that though. “I promise that I will be more careful in the future.” She could only hope that she wouldn't be threatened with an arrow again anyway.
Her father nodded before looking around the foyer. Countless servants had stopped to watch them. Raymond only needed to meet their gaze for a moment before they turned around and then faced his daughter again. “I suggest we go to your room. There seem to be too many people here.” He was right about that. Luckily, he was intimidating enough to keep the staff members from staring the whole time, but it was still frustrating.
Lucille still wasn't certain whether she wanted to be alone with her father, but she nodded anyway. She turned around to the staircase. “I will lead you there. I am currently residing in a guest room on the third floor, so there shouldn't be any privacy issues there.” She climbed up the stairs, and her father followed her.
They reached their destination quickly. Lucille opened the door, ordered some tea from Angelica and then entered her room with Raymond. She sat down at the table, and her father did the same on the other side. For a moment, the both of them were completely silent.
Lucille averted her eyes to refrain from staring at her father and looked around the room to distract herself. That proved to be a mistake. One glance at the bed was enough to almost make her blush. If she just remembered how Cedar and she had cuddled there, she felt horrible about doing that in secret. Looking at the sofa didn't make it better since she had slept there in Cedar's arms too. So, she hurried to gaze at her father again.
He was already scanning her with some undefinable expression on his face.
Lucille moved around on her chair for a bit before she spoke up. “Uhm...” Was there anything she could address? There was only one topic that she could think of, but it wasn't pleasant. “What's been going on at home? Were there any developments regarding the incident?” The attack already felt like it had happened in another life. The small reddened spot on Lucille's stomach, where the skin was just a bit rougher, was one of the few things that reminded her that she hadn't just imagined what happened that day.
Raymond was quiet for a short moment before he replied, which was enough to unsettle her. “It's been a little over three months since you've come here. Naturally, the investigation finished a while ago. As expected, we didn't find any decisive evidence. There isn't much we can do about this matter, so I doubt that this topic will be helpful for us.” This was his way of saying that he didn't want to talk about it. Either he hated the fact that someone had attacked him without him being able to return the favor, or he refused to speak about the deceased people.
Lucille still hadn't found out much, but she already knew that at least one dozen servants died that day. That was a surprisingly small number when one considered that the assassins had probably been ordered to kill everyone. Apparently, many out of the fifty staff members of the Valerian family had gone out to spend time with their families without permission that night, which had saved their lives. Still, a dozen dead people were a dozen too many.
She lowered her gaze and tried to push away the thought of Mathilda losing her life just a few steps next to her. “That's...unfortunate.” It was much worse than that. Some of the assassins had been killed by Cedar, but there was no way for them to know where the others were. They could still be out there while waiting for the dowager empress' newest order. That thought was a bit scary.
To be honest, Lucille was glad that she wasn't at home at the moment. After all, her latest memory of the hallways there was connected to running for her life while a metallic smell was in the air. Just a thought of that day reminded her of Mathilda's desperate cries, Lucille's own fear while sitting in that service elevator and how the cold floor had felt on her naked feet.
And how the arrow had pierced her skin.
Lucille shook herself to push those thoughts again. She focused on her father, who seemed to keep an eye on her the whole time. For a moment, it was quiet, so she spoke up again. “Did people resign after what happened?”
Raymond nodded. “I offered it to them. I had to take responsibility for them because I allowed our security to be lenient enough to allow such an attack. So, I gave them the choice to continue working for us or to move on with a recommendation letter. About ten people left. The rest stayed with raised pay. At first, they were rather uncertain, and it was obvious that the staff was worried. But I hired a dozen new guards to make sure that everything is safe now. Since no incident happened after that day, many servants regained their confidence over time. The official story says that it was a coincidental robbery, so they don't know that we are being targeted by that insane woman.”
It was almost surprising that he actually swallowed his pride to admit something to be his mistake, especially since he wasn't at fault here. No one would have expected that the dowager empress would send assassins to a small mansion that belonged to a viscount. Raymond seemed more angry than shocked or dejected about that incident though, so he didn't grieve much in favor of plotting his revenge.
Raymond glanced to the side for a moment before speaking again with much more anger than before. “That woman is truly insane. I still can't believe that a person like this was once the most powerful woman in the nation. She doesn't seem to think clearly, otherwise, she wouldn't randomly attack neutral families. She should know that they will turn against her. I almost expected her to try something again to get rid of us. But it appears that she focused her efforts on her son.”
Camille probably hadn't expected the family to survive to be an enemy, but Lucille didn't say that. She also didn't mention that the dowager empress was definitely mad and that Camille held onto Cedar like some sort of predator that clung to its prey. She just let her father continue.
Raymond's eyes narrowed. “At least I hope that. But we cannot be certain. Since His Majesty allowed her to stay here for some reason, there may be many more issues. After all, she seems to hate it when her son receives allies. Were there any issues with that woman?”
Yes. Countless ones. That woman was at fault every time Cedar was in a bad mood. The dowager empress wasn't just a controlling monster but also a complete psychopath. She had traumatized Cedar so much that one look at a metal skewer was enough to make him so angry that he immediately closed himself off. Camille was the reason Cedar only smiled and didn't dare to show his real emotions.
Such a despicable person shouldn't exist.
Lucille pressed her lips together to hold back that original reply. She would rather calm herself before revealing how much she hated Camille. “She's...in the royal estate because His Majesty will keep an eye on her. She doesn't live in the palace though. She sometimes comes here, but there are always guards around her. So, that isn't an issue. I talked to her a few times already. We were always accompanied by others. But I had one chance to meet her alone, unless you count the guards that kept an eye on her. She actually confronted me during the tea party, and that was when-”
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Her father cut her off there. “What? What did she do?” His anger was so audible in his voice that his daughter almost flinched.
Lucille pulled her hands off the table and balled them to fists on her lap. “That...wasn't too bad. She brought me to a small seating room and told me strange things. She didn't hurt me though. She just...voiced statements that make it obvious that she is insane.”
Raymond tensed, and the familiar spark of rage glittered in his eyes. “Did she threaten you?”
Lucille shook her head, only to stop before nodding. “Not really, but maybe a little. It was underlying. She insulted Cedar the whole time. She was keen on repeating that there was no way that he could care for anyone aside from her. And she told me that I was just trying to use him too. She said some mean things about both me and him, so I got angry and told her that she had no idea. That upset her even more, and I thought she would throw something at me. In the end, Cedar came and saved me. But the few minutes that I spent with her were enough to show me that she is mentally unstable. She yelled at me and threw her teacup onto the floor when I told her that Cedar wasn't a bad person.”
Viscount Valerian's expression darkened even more. “That damned...” He cut himself off, probably to avoid insulting royalty. Then he continued in a low volume. “That was expected. That woman has been completely gone ever since her eldest son refused to be close to her. I never saw much of her, but that was enough to see that she had stepped over the edge already. That is why you can never trust her.” He met his daughter's gaze, as if he wanted to emphasize his words. “Never, do you understand? Don't talk to her if there isn't someone else to keep you safe. It would be best if you avoid her.”
Lucille hurried to nod. She would be much more content with that too, even if she doubted that there would be a way for her to do that.
Raymond wasn't done though. He already continued. “Good. And now that you met that woman, you should understand my concern. She is the one who raised His Royal Highness. It should be obvious that he can't be healthy with such a mother.”
She didn't agree with what that hinted at, at least not fully. Lucille lowered her gaze and replied in a quiet voice. “I never said that he was perfectly unaffected by her. He has problems, but...” She had problems too.
Lucille had to admit that her mother's disappearance had left deeper scars than she wanted to accept, and she also worried about her father getting angry now, even though it seemed like he wouldn't lash out anymore. That proved that she was traumatized in some way, even if her childhood hadn't nearly been as bad as Cedar's.
This was one of the reasons why Lucille had to defend him. “But he never hurt me. He never even attempted to do it. In fact, he only ever saved me. He kept others from hurting me. He spends time with me, and when I need help, he is always there. I also supported him whenever he felt bad a few times by now. He really opens up to me, and I feel like I may...be the only one who ever managed to get this close to him.” She noticed that her voice got quieter and more uncertain with each sentence. She fiddled with her hands and said the most embarrassing thing without daring to meet her father's gaze. She was much too meek when she ended up saying the important part. “I don't want to give that up.”
They were silent for a while. The both of them didn't dare to speak or move. It was so silent that one could have heard a pin drop.
At some point, Raymond began again. His voice wasn't soft yet, but it was the closest he had ever gotten to it. “I...noticed that already. But I can't help but worry. I told you that I fear that he might be using you. Because I know that he has grown up with such a horrible mother, I can be sure that he won't react to affection like other people. Your difference in status is too big. He may...trap you before you know it. I worry, Lucille. Especially when the whole capital already assumes that you are going to become his wife.”
She whipped her head up at that. “What? But...but...” Now she was stammering again. Great. Her father hated it when she did that. “Why? He...just brought me to the ball and...nothing else...”
Something else had happened. Had the servants of the palace gossiped about Lucille and Cedar spending the night together? Hopefully not.
Lucille felt how blood came rushing to her face as she stared at the table. She barely dared to lift her gaze again. “Do...they really?”
Her father seemed even grimmer than before when he replied. “Yes. All of a sudden, I received many more business offers than before. Everyone seems to think we will be connected to the royal family soon, so they want to make us their allies. And some of our distant relatives also contacted me after years of silence. They congratulated you on finding a wealthy husband who will take care of you before asking who will take over the family if you move out. That means that they assume that your future partner has a reason not to become the viscount.” That did sound pretty bad. Apparently, that misunderstanding had already spread.
Lucille lowered her gaze to the table again. “But...those are people who don't live in the capital, right? They didn't see, so they might...misinterpret rumors...”
Raymond replied immediately. “It's not just strangers that think like this. Lady Lamont wrote me a letter asking whether I signed an engagement contract between you and His Royal Highness. She begged me to tell her the truth because she isn't sure whether you weren't lying about you only being friends with him. Apparently, you did lie to her since even she isn't aware of your relationship.”
There wasn't a relationship here. At least not an official one. Lucille had to admit that the border of friendship might be crossed already, but she hadn't lied to anyone. She had even told Fiona that her father had misunderstood. But seemingly, Fiona had been so worried about Lucille actually becoming Cedar's fiancée that she had written that letter anyway.
Lucille folded her hands on her lap as she averted her eyes. “We're...not that...intimate. We never mentioned trying to marry, so... And Fiona knows everything. I would have told her if I planned on doing something like that.”
Raymond, whom Lucille watched from the corner of her eyes, didn't seem convinced. “The fact that your best friend worries should tell you enough. In fact, she worried about your health too. You haven't invited her for a while, so she expects the worst.”
Lucille felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. She hadn't thought much about inviting anyone. She had spent her days with Cedar and assumed that it would be better not to drag anyone into this mess when the dowager empress was clearly lurking in the shadows. But that wasn't an excuse. “I saw her for His Majesty's birthday, so I thought... I will write her soon again.” She had enough free time, so there shouldn't be an issue. And even though this wasn't the topic at all, she couldn't help but say it. “But...I don't want to distance myself from Cedar. I know that such rumors are bad and that-” She lifted her gaze to meet her father's and cut herself off. She knew that expression.
Raymond wasn't angry. He was just a bit dejected, which was surprising when it came to her marriage chances possibly being destroyed. “I guessed so. It should have been obvious from the very moment you took him in without a warning. You don't often position yourself this stubbornly. But when you do, there is no way for anyone to change your mind. You are like your mother in that regard.”
Lucille froze. Her father never mentioned her mother. Never. But now he had done it.
And that was enough to paralyze the both of them.
At least a minute of silence passed before Raymond continued and changed the topic in a hurry. “I knew that you wouldn't avoid him from now on. I won't demand that I just...need to... No. I want to be informed about everything before it escalates.” He didn't meet her gaze when he spoke, which was rare for a confident man like him. “How far did the two of you go already? Because if you already...you know...” If she and Cedar had already had their first time, they would have to get engaged anyway.
Lucille felt warmth rushing to her cheeks as she remembered how she had spent multiple nights in Cedar's arms. But that reaction might make her father misunderstand, so she hurried to shake her head. “We didn't cross any boundaries. We just...talk.” And they held hands. And they cuddled. And Cedar sometimes teased her until she was so flustered that she could barely look at him anymore. That wasn't quite just a friendship anymore.
Raymond wasn't very relieved upon seeing her expression while she responded. At least he didn't ask any questions and just nodded.
Still, Lucille could imagine that the rest of the conversation might feel a bit unpleasant when her father obviously misunderstood.
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In the end, Raymond stayed for two hours while they drank tea. Then they climbed down the stairs while he seemed like he was lost in thoughts. Lucille already expected him to leave without any further ado, but that didn't happen.
Viscount Valerian stopped in the middle of the staircase. He forced himself to go down the rest as well, but he slowed his pace in the entrance hall again. Then he went a bit to the side so that they could exchange a few words without anyone listening to them, which was alarming.
Raymond was visibly unhappy about having to say this, but he spoke anyway. “Lucille. I know that it may seem odd for me to address this, but...you need to know.” He looked around again to make sure that no one was listening. When he was sure that no one could hear them, he resumed. “Even if you...happened to have crossed certain lines already, that isn't binding. You don't have to feel pressured because you are young and he is a prince. You are under no obligation to agree to anything just because of his rank. And likewise, you also don't have to agree to anything because of some rumors.” He ignored how speechless she was and bid his farewell before rushing out of the building.
Lucille could only stay behind with a red face. Had her father hinted at what she had interpreted just now? That couldn't be true. It had almost sounded like he wanted to make her understand that she wouldn't need to marry Cedar. Even if she might have lost her first time and received a proposal.
But that didn't make much sense. In noble society, many people paid great attention to entering a marriage as virgins, especially women. If it became known that a young lady had already had spent the night with someone, she might gamble away all of her chances for marriage unless she was from a very prestigious family. In most cases, a woman would have to marry the person she slept with to avoid trouble later.
The part about the marriage proposal also didn't seem to fit. If the difference in status between the couple was this high, refusing an engagement was almost impossible, especially since Cedar was a member of the royal family.
So, Raymond, who cared most about his family's reputation, shouldn't say that it would be fine for Lucille to ignore that. Still, he had done it.
Lucille only stood there and blinked a few times. She could barely process what she had heard just now. It was also a bit ridiculous that her heart skipped a beat just when she thought about marrying Cedar. But that issue was something entirely else.