Novels2Search
The Broken Prince's Love
Chapter 45: It's Not You

Chapter 45: It's Not You

Lucille cursed her bad luck as soon as she rounded a corner and saw a person who didn't seem to belong in the palace. She was about to turn around to tell Angelica that they would need to use another way to get to their destination, but it was already too late.

Lady Peril's eyes wandered to the other woman, and a friendly but somehow patronizing smile appeared on her lips. She came over to Lucille without hesitation. “Good afternoon, Lady Valerian. What a pleasant surprise it is to see you here. How have you been?”

Lucille forced herself to return the smile and replied while hinting a faint curtsy. “Good afternoon, Lady Peril. I have been doing well, so I cannot complain. It truly is a great surprise to meet you. How have you been?”

Jenna folded her fan with a click and gazed to the side for a moment. “Well, I was quite stressed. After all, I had a lot to do during the past few weeks, and His Majesty can be rather intimidating. And it wasn't the good kind of being intimidating.” She didn't elaborate on whatever this meant and just continued. “I felt like I did something to anger him, but I have no idea what it could have been.” She put her hand on her cheek and almost looked like she was dejected.

Lucille could immediately tell what the other woman had done but obviously stayed quiet. “I see. If it has been stressful, then it may be better for me not to steal too much of your time.” She hoped that Lady Peril would agree but was disappointed.

Jenna put on a small smile and replied with an almost mocking tone. “Do not worry about that. I enjoy your presence a lot, Lady Valerian. We barely have the chance to speak, so I want to use every second. Are you not curious why I came here for an audience? I will gladly tell you.” She continued without waiting for a response. “His Majesty's child will be born soon. You may not have heard about this, but usually, rather influential women are chosen as nursemaids. I hoped to apply for that position, but it seems like His and Her Majesty do not wish to employ anyone. Well, it should have been expected due to Her Majesty's background. She does not see the need to have someone else there to take care of her child.”

Lucille gave her best to keep smiling while she inwardly let out a breath of relief.

No one should let Lady Peril close to their children. Not when that woman was so focused on power that she would molest a fourteen-year-old boy. In addition, it was questionable whether she had the abilities that would be required. Jenna didn't have any children herself, so why would she even apply for such a position?

Lucille pushed that thought away and tried to respond as calmly as possible, but she was still uncomfortable with the other's piercing gaze. “If she has enough time to take care of her child on her own, there is no need for Her Majesty to employ another person, correct? She probably wishes to spend more time with her child, and thus, it makes sense for her to deal with everything herself.” Lucille herself also wouldn't want to hand her child over to strangers.

Jenna showed her a bright smile. “Of course. I am not criticizing that decision either. I am just pointing out that it is a little strange for them to refuse me when I clearly have the best standing to assist the royal family. But it cannot be helped. I merely wished to offer my assistance, and if that is not required, then I do not mind leaving the decision to them. But enough about that.” She was quiet for a moment before continuing with an even wider smile. “We should talk about you instead. May I ask what you could possibly be doing in the royal palace, Lady Valerian? Are you perhaps also here for an audience?”

Lucille froze at that and quickly cast her gaze downward. She couldn't say that she was hiding here because the dowager empress wanted to kill her. For a moment, she considered saying that she had come to visit the royal library, which was partly true. But she decided to stick to the excuse the royal family had decided on. “Well, we are currently discussing whether it might be possible to make me Her Majesty's lady-in-waiting. I am staying here to confirm whether we get along with each other. Until now, everything has been wonderful.”

Lady Peril titled her fan to the side and drew it through her hand. “Oh, my. That is certainly a surprise. After all, you are... Please do not be angry about this. You are merely a viscount's daughter. And as far as I heard, Her Majesty never took in any lady-in-waiting before you. Even the former empress did not have one. You have to get along well if Her Majesty considers changing that now.”

Lucille let out a nervous laugh and hid her hands behind her skirt while replying. “Yes. It will only be a temporary arrangement so that I can get used to the palace etiquette though.” It almost felt like she had said something wrong.

Jenna's smile didn't fade, but it seemed like her eyes flickered with some unpleasant emotion. She grabbed her fan with her whole hand and tilted her head. “I see. Congratulations, Lady Valerian. May you be successful in your endeavors and satisfy Her Majesty with your services. I am glad to hear that the reason you came here was a pleasant one. There were some rumors about you fleeing because of the attack on your estate. Despite me offering your father help, he did not tell me much except for the fact that you would reside somewhere else for a while and that there had been a few injured servants in your mansion. Would you be willing to elaborate on that?”

Lucille slowly moved her hands up to twist one of her hair strands around her finger. “I...would like to tell you. But unfortunately, there is not much I can reveal.” She pressed her lips together but quickly added something else. “I apologize. I can only assure you that there will be no problems for any noble in the capital. The issue is ours alone.” That wasn't quite true, but it came close enough.

Lady Peril was silent for a moment. “How unfortunate. I do hope that it resolves itself quickly. But let me ask something else in turn. Since you are staying in the palace, this should be easy for you to answer. You couldn't possibly have heard about the rumors regarding His Royal Highness being here, could you?” Her eyes lit up when she said that.

Lucille felt like her stomach was churning. She definitely wouldn't tell that woman anything that would make her get close to Cedar. She felt her hands starting to sweat and forced herself to stay as calm as possible. This was the most important lie. “I apologize. I am not aware of what you might be talking about. I only know that His Royal Highness has been seen in the capital after he fled from confinement. However, I do not have more information than that.”

Jenna's smile came back. “Oh, really. That is a shame. I had hoped that I would soon hear some news about him. I am starting to worry.” She slowly opened her fan and hid her mouth behind it. She looked around and seemed to be discontent with the knight, who was escorting her, and Angelica being here. Jenna came a bit closer to Lucille before whispering. “You see, I know a little bit more. I have an informant in the capital. I know that he is reliable. And do you know what he said? Apparently, His Royal Highness was seen directly next to the Valerian estate on the day of that mysterious incident. And he seemed to have run right toward the royal guards for some reason. But what was even stranger was that he allegedly held someone in his arms.”

Lucille tried her best not to react, but she couldn't hide her flinching. “Oh.” She looked to the side and wrung her fingers. “I...did not know that he was so close to our estate. That is a surprise. But...why would His Royal Highness hold a person?”

Lady Peril came even closer and continued with a glim in her eyes. “My informant said that it was a woman with long hair. He said that the dim moonlight made it hard to see, but he could have sworn that her hair was scarlet, much like blood would be. I was very surprised to hear about that. After all, there were only two women with such a hair color who ever made an appearance in the capital. It couldn't have been Lady Emily Valerian, who hasn't been seen here in years. So, it had to be the younger Lady Valerian, I thought. Unless, of course, His Royal Highness had suddenly felt the need to protect a commoner.”

Lucille felt like her blood was draining from her face. Jenna knew. It sounded like the other woman was very much aware of what had happened. But Lucille didn't want to give up now. Her voice sounded uncertain, but she forced herself to respond. “I don't think helping an injured person is wrong. It could have been a princess or a beggar. You can't be sure of who it was. And-” She wanted to explain how that informant could have been wrong, but she didn't get far.

Jenna chuckled quietly and almost seemed to look down at the other woman while speaking with a grin. “How did you know that they were injured? I haven't said that yet. Could it be that you truly knew about that incident? Please be honest. I would love to know whether you had the honor of being saved by our prince himself.”

Lucille opened her mouth to refute that, but the words were stuck in her throat. It felt like lying to a person that looked so smug wouldn't do much. She had messed up once, and everything she said could only make it worse. She didn't want to find out how much the other woman truly knew. So, she forced herself to speak up. “Why...” She wanted to ask why the other woman was so certain, but she didn't manage to even say a second word.

Lady Peril already lowered her fan and snapped it shut so loudly that Lucille flinched. She only beamed more when she began speaking with pure glee. “So, you truly met His Royal Highness? How wonderful! You surely were charmed, were you not? You can be honest. I am a close acquaintance of his, and even I have to admit that my breath hitches when he greets me. He is truly famous with the ladies, and it should be easy to see why.”

Lucille felt anger bubbling in her stomach. She hated hearing that other woman speak about Cedar. It was disgusting. It constantly sounded like Jenna had ulterior motives. Of course, Lucille had no justification to insert herself into this situation, but she wanted to keep Cedar away if possible. She balled her fists while trying to hide her frustration, but still, listening to Jenna felt horrible.

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Lady Peril didn't stop and just continued to gush. “Being held in his arms must have felt so dreamy. It's been a while since I got that close...” She gazed into the distance before her smile became even more revolting. Then she turned her eyes back to Lucille and happily resumed. “I know that he only wished to save your life, so it's not quite the same, but it still had to have been like in a fairy tale.”

Lucille almost wanted to wipe away the other's smirk by saying that she had hugged Cedar more than once while they both had been awake. She was much closer to him than the other woman was. But saying that would feel wrong. This wasn't a competition. So, she just replied while trying to keep her voice quiet. “He did save me. But as I said, I cannot share the circumstances.”

“That is not necessary.” Jenna made a rejecting gesture with her fan before she drew it across her cheek and hid her mouth again. “I am just content knowing that His Royal Highness is fine. You see, I was worried. But of course, I didn't have to be concerned at all. He is an exceptional fighter, so of course, he would protect himself and help out anyone he meets.” She let out a breath in awe while looking quite distracted before resuming. “He is just perfect in general. He is handsome, kind and polite while still having a mysterious aura and a hint of danger around him. Every woman must have dreamed about being with him once. That's why the lucky bride he will choose should be very grateful. Of course, not just anyone could become the princess consort.” She had changed the topic way too quickly.

Lucille couldn't quite follow the conversation anymore, but she felt nausea bubbling in her stomach. This couldn't go anywhere pleasant. It felt like a sacrilege when Jenna spoke like this, but the direction of the topic indicated something very disturbing as well.

Lady Peril took the silence as a chance to babble on about whatever was going on inside her head, seemingly without caring about whether Lucille listened. “He needs someone special. Do you understand what I mean by that? He would only destroy his perfection by putting an unrefined, valueless stone next to himself when he resembles a diamond. He is strong and experienced so many things that it would be good for him to have someone who can understand him. It would be a shame to waste his potential by having him get too close to a person who can't help him in his endeavors. He is a member of the royal family. He needs someone with a lot of power and influence. He needs a beauty with a bright mind.” She tipped her fan against her forehead.

Lucille could only blink as the other woman kept talking without ever stopping.

“He needs a person that shines as radiantly as him. So, his future wife will have to be a wonderful person. A dignified and cultured woman, who can support him and shows that she knows what he is fighting for. Someone who was born to a duke or a marquess. Of course, anyone with a lower rank wouldn't do. He needs to meet a person that was handpicked among the most famous women in the capital.” Was Jenna suggesting herself? No matter how one put it, it sounded like that.

Lucille didn't like that thought. She told herself to swallow the bitter taste on her tongue to ignore whatever was going on, but she couldn't help getting upset. She knew what Jenna had done in the past, so she didn't like those implications at all. Not when Lady Peril basically said that Cedar should forced to accept a woman like her. Lucille pressed her lips shut and waited for a chance to speak.

When a short break came, Lucille had barely gathered the courage to open her mouth, so her voice was quiet and shaky. Even so, she managed to push out what she wished to say. “You...don't see him as a person either. Cedar isn't just the prince. He is himself as well. That means that he will choose whomever he wants by his side. You have no right to make that decision for him.”

That was the second time that she had made a mistake. This time, it was even more obvious.

Jenna suddenly froze in place. Her smile remained but seemed far more forced while her eyes seemed to burn into Lucille's skin. “You...call His Royal Highness by his first name. How...interesting. Has he given you his permission for that?” It almost sounded like she didn't like that at all.

That reaction should have given Lucille more confidence, but it didn't. She just felt even more like she was under pressure. She hugged herself and looked to the side as she replied in a weak voice. “Yes. He calls me by my first name too. He saved my life, and I...saved him too, so I think that it should be fine.” She was already blushing a little thanks to her nervousness, even if that would only make the other woman misunderstand.

Lucille couldn't bring herself to care.

Lady Peril was silent for a moment too long before her grin came back more brightly than before. “I see. That must be a very confidential topic. I will not tell anyone, I can promise you that.” She scanned the other woman for a few seconds before resuming. “We just mentioned that His Royal Highness should be free to be with whomever he chooses, right? Of course, I want him to be happy, so I will support him in making his own decision. But the woman he chooses should have some helpful qualities. He deserves a person that is as perfect as him, someone that is as strong as he is. And if we are honest, it should be obvious that he will pay attention to that himself. Someone like, let us say...you could never stand by his side. You should have noticed the difference in your positions already. His Royal Highness is always so confident, so he needs someone of the same standing to be by his side. You are only a viscount's daughter. You do understand that, correct?” Jenna didn't even give the other woman a chance to respond and just beamed while she continued. “I am not saying this to hurt you. It's because I want to make sure that you keep that in mind so that your first experience in this matter does not hurt you too much when it ends badly. Please remember my words. I would like to talk to you a bit longer, but I will need to return home now. We will meet at the ball in a week. Maybe I will finally be able to see His Royal Highness again then. Relay my kindest wishes to him if you meet him any time before that. Please have a nice evening, Lady Valerian.”

Lucille was completely taken aback by receiving so much information all of a sudden. “I... Good evening, Lady Peril.” She could only say that and blink.

The other woman had already turned around to leave at that.

Lucille was left behind with a strange feeling.

It had almost seemed like Jenna hadn't been happy to hear that the prince got along with someone. She had suddenly stopped smiling, even though she normally always kept the upper hand. And after that, she had been so angry that she had tried to offend the other woman. It just hadn't been as effective.

After all, Lucille knew that she and Cedar were worlds apart. It still stung to hear it being phrased so directly, but she had known all of it. In the end, that didn't have to make much of a difference. Even if she might have developed some little feelings for him, which she wasn't sure about at all, it didn't mean that she had to retreat. She was happy to be friends with Cedar, and he liked her as well. Why wouldn't they spend time together if they both enjoyed it?

Lucille told herself that to regain a bit of her courage before she turned around and walked toward the library. She couldn't just stand here to contemplate her life. She would just swallow those thoughts and return to her original schedule.

For the rest of the day, Lucille tried to do just that. In the end, she couldn't stop from telling herself that she didn't deserve to be with Cedar but pushed those thoughts away. If he was happy too, why should they be bothered by things like that?

Lucille tried to remind herself of that and suppressed the urge to ask Cedar to spend some time with her. She returned to her room and changed into a more comfortable dress to lie down. The sun had already set, so there was no need for her to stay alert. At least she had thought that before her head hit the pillow and someone knocked on the door.

Lucille let out a small sigh and stood up again. “Please wait for a moment.” She put on a coat before going to the door and opening it. She froze when she recognized the man who had been on her mind since this afternoon. “Cedar?”

The prince smiled at her. “Good evening. I hope I'm not disturbing you. I apologize for being so late. If you have something to do, tell me and I will leave again.” He said that, but one look at his face made it obvious that he wasn't in a good mood. His smile was bright again, but it wasn't an honest one.

Lucille only took one second to decide. “I am free, as always. Do you want to come in for a while? I can offer you tea and the leftovers from dessert.” She opened the door for him.

Cedar came in without making fun of the fact that he was entering her chambers at night. He truly didn't seem to be well. “Thank you. I don't need to eat anything though. I just wanted to visit you. Have you been doing something interesting today? I was curious.” That was an obvious lie. He was here because he felt horrible.

Lucille quickly closed the door behind him and followed him. “Nothing happened around me. Did you do something special?”

“I just had a long discussion with my brother. It was...interesting to say the least. I'm glad it's over now. He can be quite the strong-willed person. If he traps you in his office, you will be there for hours at a time. I'm relieved that you didn't need to go through that.”

Lucille opened her mouth to mention Lady Peril but closed it again wordlessly. Right now, Cedar was in a bad mood. She didn't need to make it worse by mentioning a person he disliked. But she didn't know what else to say either. She wanted to comfort Cedar, but she had no idea why he was upset now. So, she did what always helped her. “Do...you want to...hug me again?” She felt embarrassed while offering that despite already having done so multiple times.

Cedar let out a small huff at that. “Even though your day wasn't stressful? You are getting used to this, aren't you?” His words made it seem like he wouldn't agree, but this time, he was the more active party. He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms before she could even react. For a moment, the both of them were silent, and Cedar rested his chin on her shoulder. Then he whispered to her, which almost made a shiver run down her spine. “It seems like this is slowly becoming a tradition.”

She put her arms around him and slowly stroked over his back as she replied in a whisper. “I wouldn't mind that.” He was so warm, and it felt almost like his embrace was the safest place in this whole world. She didn't want to let go of that, so she would be glad to do it again and again.

Cedar was quiet for a few seconds before he replied. “Me neither.” So, he liked it too.

This almost felt like a dream. Believing that all of this was truly happening was almost impossible.

But Lucille knew that it was real. After all, she felt Cedar's body temperature and his warm breathing on her skin. She felt how soft his skin was when he touched her and how he relaxed in her arms. This certainly was real, and that might not be too good. It made one thing painfully obvious, and Lucille wasn't sure whether they could go back after that realization.

They weren't just friends. And by now, she was almost sure that Cedar saw that too.