Lucille adored spending time with Cedar. She loved being close to him and chatting about all kinds of things. Especially since she could continue being close to him without the atmosphere being strange between them despite the somewhat life-changing conversation they had had.
After all, she had almost confessed her feelings, and Cedar was still close to her. He didn't feel offended because of what she had said, which was the greatest gift.
Aside from spending time with Cedar, Lucille didn't do much else. When he was busy because his brother had condemned him to take over some of his duties, as Cedar called it, she usually busied herself otherwise. Then she either embroidered something or visited the empress, who had told her to come daily.
Today, Lucille had entered the emperor's chambers again, only to find that Blanche was alone. It seemed like Theodore wasn't here, which was rare.
It was easy to spot Blanche, who was standing next to the cradle and looked down at her baby before returning to the main table. She didn't reach her destination and turned around when she heard her maid announcing the visitor. Immediately, a bright grin formed on her lips. “Lucille, there you are. You came just in time. I'm almost done with the dough, so you can steal some if you want to.”
Lucille still found it a bit strange to be addressed by her first name when the empress was the one doing it. But using the other's first name was a much bigger issue. So, she refused to use any title while replying. “Good afternoon. So, you are baking a cake again?”
Blanche nodded and returned to the bowl that she had placed in the middle of all of the ingredients that stood around there. “I can't help it. Theodore even helps me most of the time. We both refuse to leave the chambers much while our angel is sleeping. And since I've always loved baking, I am happy with this way to pass the time. This is perfect since I can hear Aurora when she wakes up. When she opens her eyes, I will immediately be there to cuddle her for hours at a time.” She had ended up making a cake every day of the past week already, so it wasn't surprising.
Lucille scanned the ingredients for a moment. “It's good if you can do something you enjoy inside your room. Are those blueberries?”
“Indeed. This will be a citrus-blueberry cake. My mother used to love that recipe, and I will make sure that everyone here also adores it from now on. Angelica and Stella already love it. Darlene would eat the whole cake if she could, and Theodore devours everything I give him. So, you and Cedar will have to like it too. I would like to make it our family dish.”
Lucille felt the warmth rushing to her face at that statement. Was it good to address her as part of the royal family? Probably not. But would she complain? No. She quickly averted her eyes as she stepped closer to the table. She stared at the dough in the bowl before looking at the empress.
Blanche already grinned at the other woman. “You can help me if you want to. I could need assistance.” The fact that her maids didn't help her just meant that she didn't need that at all, but she seemed to be eager to involve the other woman.
Lucille was still more than skeptical when it came to baking something, but she wouldn't refuse that offer. “If you wish for it, I will gladly help.” Even if she doubted that she would do more than kneading whatever dough the empress prepared.
Blanche had expected that answer. She already lifted some sort of big spoon and held it toward Lucille. “Thank you very much. Will you stir the cream I prepared? It will take a little while, so I can take over when you get tired. It would be good if we could alternate between the two of us stirring it.”
Lucille nodded and accepted the bowl. She began stirring the cream while glancing at the empress.
Blanche hummed to herself while she cut some smaller pieces of a lemon to squeeze it above the dough in front of her. It seemed like she truly enjoyed baking. Somehow, it was nice to see how much effort she put into this. It had something calming about it.
The women worked like this for a little while until Lucille remembered something she needed to ask. She spoke up after clearing her throat. “I don't know if asking this is...fine. But I am lost, so I would like your advice. Is there anything you would like to have for your birthday? Unfortunately, I am unsure whether my father will bring a gift for the household or whether I should get something too.”
Blanche licked some dough off her finger while she sat down on the only empty space on the table. “Won't you attend with Cedar again? It's fine if you and him get something together. He'll probably bring some piece of jewelry again, and that will be fine. And to be honest, it's just to keep up appearances. You can give me an empty box, and I will pretend to like it.”
Lucille quickly shook her head. “There is no way that I could do that.” She lowered her gaze after that. “And...he...didn't ask me this time. Cedar, I mean. He didn't ask me whether we would go together again.” She didn't want to admit it, but she had been a bit disappointed at that. Even if it was probably good to go separate ways when the rumors thanks to the last balls still hadn't disappeared. She was dejected anyway. Balls at Cedar's side were much more pleasant.
Blanche crossed her arms and gave the other woman a bright grin. “I'll deal with that. I told you to trust him, right? He probably has a good reason why he didn't ask you. If Cedar and I have one thing in common, it's overthinking unimportant matters. So, don't worry about that. He probably misinterpreted something, but we'll get him on the right track in just a little while. He should come here in a few minutes after Theo stops bothering him. My husband is trying to get Cedar into politics, you know? Cedar worries about what others will say, and that's why he needs a little push. It's probably the same with this ball here.”
Lucille nodded, but she wasn't sure.
The empress immediately seemed to notice that the other woman was dejected. She took care of that by offering Lucille countless bites of the dough and handing her blueberries before busying her with preparing the rest of the cake. When that only had a minimal effect, Blanche used her most powerful weapon. She had Lucille sit down on the sofa and handed over the sleeping Aurora.
Of course, the baby managed to raise everyone's mood just by being there.
A few minutes passed, and then it seemed like the empress' premonition came true. Someone knocked on the door.
Blanche immediately raised her voice. “It's Cedar, right? He can come in.”
Seconds later, the door opened. Somehow, it wasn't surprising that Cedar entered the room. He made eye contact with Lucille and showed her a smile before turning to the empress.
Blanche greeted him by gesturing to her dough and cream mix, which had already significantly become less than before. “There you are. Will you taste-test this to make sure that it's good?”
Cedar only needed one glance at the half-empty bowl to conclude where the rest had gone. “Did you not taste-test enough already? I can assure you that there is no need for me to steal the remaining pieces. If you want to make a cake, you should leave at least some dough to put into the oven.”
Blanche glanced at her bowl and shrugged as if she just noted that she had nibbled on the dough a little too often. “It'll be fine. I think. If not, I will just make a second portion. Aurora sleeps the whole time and my documents for today are finished, so there is no need to rush.” She quickly finished the remaining steps and filled the dough into the baking form before handing it to Stella, who would bring it to the oven. Then she turned to the sofa and beamed at Cedar. “Since Theo isn't back yet, I assume that he annoyed you, didn't he? Did he make you write the contract?”
Cedar didn't deny that. “He did. Despite me repeatedly telling him that he has enough time to do it himself if he keeps nagging me. I may have been forced to write a few pages already. But he effectively lost all right to complain if someone notices that his handwriting suddenly changed.” He plopped down next to Lucille before leaning over to catch a glimpse of Aurora. “It's been a month now, and she is still so tiny.”
Lucille grinned at that and moved her arm away so that he could see her better. “I know, right? She is so small. You should see how sweet it is when she grasps your little finger with her whole hand. I still can't believe that she'll be the most powerful woman in the nation in a few years despite being so tiny now.” She slowly moved her free hand to stroke over Aurora's hand.
Blanche cleaned up some of the ingredients on the table before her maids took that work away from her. She glanced at them with annoyance before focusing her attention on the two on the sofa. “What did you expect? That she will turn into an adult overnight? She will stay this small for a long time. When she is five, you may stop calling her tiny. But even then, she will still be so little and run around here. She will have so much energy that no one will be able to keep up with her. It's good that Aurora has an uncle and an aunt who will help us.” She glanced at the couple to underline her comment.
Lucille averted her eyes and looked at the baby in her arms again. Aurora stirred a bit before going back to a motionless sleep while her chest slowly lifted and sank again.
For a change, Cedar didn't say too much about that comment either. He only clarified one thing. “You won't give all your responsibility for your child to others. I won't clean up her diapers.”
Blanche hummed in approval. “We'll do that ourselves. You are the uncle, so that isn't your task. But I can assure you that we will bother you to some extent. After all, Aurora will grow up with you, so she will probably demand your attention too. I'm sure that she will adore you, and I'm convinced that you will quickly begin pampering her too. Aurora might end up as a brat if all of us do everything for her like this.” She glanced down at her daughter with a soft smile before walking closer to the sofa. There, she crossed her arms and beamed at the couple. She stayed quiet for a short moment before speaking up again. “My birthday is in ten days. Have you thought about what to do for then?”
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Cedar raised his eyebrows at her. He glanced at Lucille, who didn't reply, before meeting the empress' gaze. “You changed the topic quite suddenly. I don't really have a plan. I have bought a small present, but I doubt that I am involved in much more planning. Does Your Majesty-”
Blanche's tone became a bit more authoritarian as she cut him off. “No title.”
Cedar met her gaze for a moment before he continued. “Alright. Do you have anything special in mind? You surely have a reason to address this.”
Blanche nodded. She showed the prince a bright smile before adding a short sentence that made the reason for her inquiry rather obvious. “Will you escort someone that day?” How could she say this so directly? That made it obvious why she was asking.
Lucille felt like her expression already revealed how unwell she was. She would have liked to vanish into thin air, but she couldn't run away. She just stared at Aurora while hoping that Cedar wouldn't get why Blanche was this tactless. This was more than embarrassing. Her heartbeat was already speeding up, and she risked getting red. Great.
A few seconds passed in silence. Then Cedar replied in a voice that hinted a small bit of amusement. “Well, I would have liked to ask Lady Valerian here to join me. I wasn't sure whether her father would like it, but I was ready to ignore that. I planned on asking during the next few days.”
Lucille lifted her gaze and made eye contact with Cedar. She could only stare at him before she opened her mouth without saying anything. She quickly closed it again while inwardly scolding herself. So, she had expected the worst when Cedar had intended to ask her? Wonderful.
Cedar seemed to have noticed too. He just grinned at her while taking in her reaction.
Blanche was content too, even if this didn't have much to do with her. “See? There your answer is. I told you he was just a bit slow. There is no way that he wouldn't invite you. After all, you are certainly his favorite out of everyone here.”
Cedar didn't show any consideration even after Lucille blushed because of that comment. He just leaned closer to her and added his own words. “Did you worry? I apologize for keeping you waiting then. Next time, I will ask earlier. You could just have asked me too, you know? I wouldn't refuse your invitation. I would like to reaffirm the empress' words, but that would only make her tell her husband. I don't want to deal with the doctor handing me strange medicine again.” He surely was reminding her on purpose.
Lucille averted her eyes and did her best to hold still to avoid waking up Aurora while she whispered her response. “That's...” She stopped herself and chose not to comment on those rumors arising because they had cuddled with each other the whole night. “Thank you for inviting me. It will be an honor to go to the ball with you.”
Cedar let out a small huff of air. “Give me a chance to ask in a more...impressive way next time. This was a bit anticlimactic. I didn't have a chance to use that as an excuse to give you flowers either.” He ignored how that made Lucille look up at him and turned to the empress. “How exactly will the ball progress? After all, you and Theodore won't stay there for too long, right? You can't leave your daughter alone for the whole evening.”
Blanche nodded. “We decided against showing Aurora because she is too young, which means that we will need to disappear earlier. I will receive my gifts, and then we will immediately leave. But we don't want to end the ball after two or three hours. We will let it continue. Normally, Leon was the host while we were gone, but we thought that someone else could take on that role now.” She was hinting at the most obvious thing. After all, another member of royalty should take over when the royal couple disappeared.
But the response should have been to be expected. Cedar met Blanche's gaze with a bright smile. “Don't look at me like that. I surely won't be hosting a ball in the royal palace.”
The empress remained unimpressed. “Well, it's not like you have much of a choice. When we are gone, another inhabitant of the palace will have to deal with it. If Leon runs away, you could do it or leave it to Lady Valerian. Otherwise, the dowager empress will take over, and I doubt that will be more fun.”
Cedar was quiet for a moment before he looked at Lucille. “Then Leon has to deal with it, right? Because we surely won't go around to talk to all the unpleasant guests.” He truly didn't seem like he had the motivation to do so.
Obviously, Lucille didn't have it either. She quickly nodded to underline that. “Lord Astame has much more experience when it comes to that. He should do it again. After all-”
A small noise cut her off. It was just a little wail, but it only took a few seconds until it got louder. One gaze down quickly revealed that someone had woken up. Aurora was balling her tiny fists while crying and slowly but surely became more upset with each second.
Blanche reacted within seconds. She immediately rushed to her baby's side and picked her up to hold her in her arms. “Don't cry, my sweet angel. You are hungry, aren't you? It's been a while since you ate. We will have to take care of that now.”
It almost seemed like Aurora had understood her mother since she slowly calmed down a bit.
Blanche lifted her gaze and gave the others an apologetic smile. “I'm sorry, but would you give me a chance to feed her? We can talk later again.”
Lucille quickly nodded and jumped up. “Of course, Your-”
Blanche was pretty distracted, but she still noticed. “No title. I will remind the both of you as often as necessary. Have a wonderful afternoon.”
Cedar showed her a bright smile. “Thank you very much. We hope that you will have a nice afternoon too.” He met the other's gaze and seemed like he would add something. The empress narrowed her eyes at him, so he stopped himself. “Will I get thrown out of the palace if I use the title now?”
Blanche let out a low sigh. “You will drive me insane with that at some point. I'm glad that you returned to teasing those around you more kindly, but I will stay unmoved in that regard. No title, or I will ignore you.” She turned to Lucille. “Good afternoon. Please have some fun with this idiot here.”
Lucille was a little taken aback by that, but she nodded. “Goodbye. We hope that you and Aurora will have a wonderful afternoon too.” She quickly turned to leave and opened the door. When she looked over her shoulder, Cedar was too close to her, so she almost stumbled out of the room.
That earned her a little laugh. Cedar beamed at her when he closed the door behind them. “Did I scare you? I apologize for that.” He came in her direction and didn't stop grinning even while he continued. “It seems like you are a bit squeamish when it comes to me.”
Lucille couldn't deny that. She had always been a sensitive person, but Cedar being close to her always kept her brain from working properly. “I...apologize. I just...didn't expect you to be there so quickly.” She averted her eyes and quickly focused on walking forward without paying attention to the hallway at all. It shouldn't have been surprising that she wouldn't notice that someone came toward her. She only realized what was going on when an arm was wrapped around her waist to pull her back.
A servant carried some big vase in front of their face and had almost run into Lucille, who hadn't seen anything either, with full speed. They didn't even notice that now and just walked forward in a hurry to get rid of that heavy thing.
Lucille didn't have the energy to do anything about that. She just stood there, or rather hung, in Cedar's arms while trying to calm her rapid heartbeat. When she looked up, she was greeted with a blinding smile.
“You need to be more careful than that.” Cedar slowly pulled her up a bit so that she could focus on keeping her own weight steady again before he loosened his hold on her. He didn't let go though and only whispered into her ear. “I really can't let you move around on your own, or you will get into an accident. It seems like I have to accompany you when you go out.”
Lucille felt the familiar heat rushing to her face and quickly took a step forward before spinning around. “I...I...sorry. I mean, thank you. But...you scared me first so...so...” She was stammering again. She forced herself to take a deep breath before continuing. “You scared me, and that's why I ran without looking.”
Cedar let out a quiet snort. “So, it seems like I throw you off balance just with my appearance? Then I will need to be more careful. When we go down the stairs, please be a little more attentive. I don't want you to trip.”
Lucille hurriedly nodded. She quickly used that chance to make them move forward. “Let's visit the garden while the sun is still out. It may rain later.” Her attempt to distract was obvious, but she didn't care. She would be fine as long as they could walk in silence for a bit until she had calmed down enough to hide her blush.
Thankfully, Cedar agreed. They used the shortest way to leave the building and walked around a bit. They took the main path, as always, and moved around in silence until they passed by the training square.
Lucille saw the knights there and quickly used that chance to address a topic that wasn't connected to her visible embarrassment. “You trained a lot during the past few days, didn't you?”
Cedar smiled at her as if he knew what she was doing but responded anyway. “Yes. I've always trained a lot. Right now, I'm doing less than during my confinement, but I think I'm content with the current amount. Did you want to ask something about that?”
Actually, she had just wanted to distract him. But now that she remembered a bit more about what she had seen, she did have a question. It might be a bit unfitting to ask this. So, Lucille carefully addressed the issue without really touching on the most important part. “Well, when you trained, I sometimes caught a glimpse of what you were doing. You are really good, you know. And when you fight, you always look so concentrated.” Cedar's expression was extremely different when he was immersed in a duel. He looked so cold that it was enough to scare people. “But as soon as...” She stopped herself while she glanced at Cedar. This was a sensitive issue, so she shouldn't address it in public.
But of course, Cedar had already noticed. He slowed his pace a bit to watch her while they walked. “Lucille. By now, you should have realized that I have a soft spot for you. If you don't insult me to my face, I won't be angry. Even then, I would probably just accept it. So, ask your question. Is it about my expression?”
He knew. Then she might as well just be honest. But she wanted to be careful still.
Lucille walked a bit closer to him and looked around to make sure that they were alone. Then she lowered her voice and spoke to him. “If you don't want to answer, it's fine. Just tell me then, and I won't address it again. I'm not sure if I ever really asked you this so directly. Isn't it exhausting to act so unaffected and happy all the time? In public, you are doing it constantly, but that's only logical. Other nobles do that too. But the reason is different for you, right?” She wasn't sure why she had suddenly felt the urge to ask this. She could only hope that Cedar wouldn't mind the question.
The prince stayed quiet for a little moment before he glanced at her. “You did ask me once.” That was unfavorable. “Apparently, you were too drugged to remember what we talked about though. To be honest, it's a reflex. It only stops when I am acting out another role or when I'm truly upset for a moment. But the worse my mood gets, the more I smile, so I am covering it up most of the time.”
Lucille remained silent for a few seconds. She knew that. She had seen it often enough. But there was more to this. She was hesitant, but she slowly asked him. “I suspected that. But...it didn't appear just like that, right?” She didn't need to say more.
As if to prove her point, Cedar grinned at her as he spoke. “Of course not. In my childhood, I was used to doing anything in my power to please those around me. Showing strangers a polite smile was the norm. When I met my family, the same was appropriate. Mother also wanted me to act how she liked it. That meant I was supposed to be a perfect ruler and, more importantly, that I was supposed to be utterly devoted to her while being happy just with that. After my whining as a child wasn't well received, I quickly stopped complaining. And when I smiled at her, as well as at others, I received the best results. Especially since not showing your weaknesses is crucial. And the more you smile, the easier you can deal with things that bother you.” He had probably taught himself to smile to process all the horrible things he had experienced in his childhood.
Lucille didn't ask for more than that. She knew that he wouldn't admit more. And if he did say more, he would act like his pain back then hadn't been that bad. She didn't want to hear that. So, she stopped for now. If she was allowed to stay close to Cedar for longer, she would slowly unveil more about him and get to know him. She hoped that he would allow her to do that.
Because she slowly wanted to learn more about him. In return, she might even admit more about herself too. Her story wasn't even remotely as tragic as his, but she felt like sharing how she had been feeling might be good for the both of them.
After all, two broken pots were able to hold water together.