Cedar had to admit one thing. His stubbornness seemed to disappoint when he was with Lucille. He had broken so many rules he had set for himself around her.
The prince had never wanted to let anyone get close to him, and now he was already in a relationship with her. He had told himself that he would hide his emotions and suppress them as much as possible, and now he offered Lucille his whole heart. At first, he had reminded himself that marrying her would cause so many problems for her, and currently, he was considering whether he should ask her to become his wife formally. He hadn't believed in romance, and yet, his thoughts revolved around Lucille whether it was fitting at the moment or not.
And for the last few years, Cedar had been certain that he would never have a child. That he would end the curse his mother had put upon him by not having any descendants he could mess up. He had been convinced that this would hold true forever.
And here he was discussing how they should raise their children with Lucille. It was ridiculous how quickly he had changed his mind.
Cedar didn't feel prepared at all, but there wasn't truly a way to learn how to be a parent either. He could read some books and talk to other parents, but that was it. Cedar wasn't sure whether that would help much. Simply being affectionate and careful with the child seemed to be more logical than following some tips from people who might be dead already. In any case, he could take some inspiration from his mother by simply looking at what she had done and doing the exact opposite. But more than that, it might be clever to ask Theodore and Blanche or Selena and Luciano, who had dealt with Aurora and Rebecca for long enough. Cedar would need to gather some courage to ask them, but he would force himself if he needed advice.
At the moment, that shouldn't be necessary though, and that might be what was so scary.
Cedar was already seriously thinking about what it would be like to have children with Lucille despite not having considered that just a few days ago. Now it seemed like he needed to prepare since his lover really wanted children. A little part of him might even look forward to that since imagining him and Lucille, as a family, taking care of their baby created an oddly satisfying domestic setting in his mind.
But right now, it was a bit early for that. Lucille was too young, Cedar was completely unprepared, and Camille was still alive and ready to slaughter her son's family. There was no way that anything could happen now.
So, Cedar had taken it upon himself to visit the doctor in the evening. He had hoped not to meet anyone who would ask him what he was doing here when it was so late, but he had been unlucky once again. He had barely knocked and entered the room when he already heard Aurora's indignant wail. If the princess was here, the parents wouldn't be far.
Cedar had seen Theodore today twice already, and he didn't feel the need to run into him again. Especially not when he was met with such an infuriating grin. Cedar considered backing out immediately when the doctor, the royal couple and even Aurora looked at him as soon as he came in. He needed to ask for something, but he could do that tomorrow too, so he should probably withdraw. After it was silent for a moment and Theodore didn't show any signs of speaking first, Cedar dared to open his mouth to announce just that. “I wish all of you a wonderful evening. What a coincidence it is to meet you here. Are you currently examining Aurora? If I am disturbing you, tell me, and I will leave.”
Blanche, who found that a bit too amusing, showed him a bright smile as she replied. “Good evening, Cedar. You aren't disturbing us. Close the door behind you.” She waited until he had no choice but to obey before she spoke again. “We are in the middle of examining Aurora, but as you can see, she is a bit reluctant. She slept too much, and now she is up and full of energy and will not hold still.”
It truly looked like the doctor was trying to examine Aurora. He could barely bring his small mirror into Aurora's mouth to check her throat since the little girl didn't find that funny after all. She whined each time he moved the mirror closer to her and balled her tiny fists while trying to get her parents to intervene. She only calmed down when her father took her hand in his and tapped on her fingers a few times. Aurora seemed to be distracted again, but she still didn't open her mouth.
Cedar watched that for a moment before he replied. “It's good to see that she is as stubborn as her parents. We can't have that trait disappear from our family. How long will that examination take? I can leave if you just started.”
Theodore held onto his daughter's fingers and slowly shook her hands as if he were greeting her, which earned him a bright smile. He cooed at her and beamed when she babbled back at him. He seemed to be lost in admiring Aurora for a moment before he remembered that he had to reply. “It will take a while longer, but you can go first. You only need to ask for something, right? It should be over quickly if you just let the doctor hand it over to you.” It shouldn't have been surprising that everyone already knew what he had come here for, but hearing that was still a bit humiliating.
Especially since Blanche added something as well as if she couldn't have let her husband's words tease Cedar enough, not even with amusement but pure seriousness. “I'm glad that you are finally here. We were already worried. Of course, I won't talk you into doing what we deem to be right. But it would really be better to wait at least one or two more years so that you can get married in peace and don't have to worry about some insects we will get rid of soon.” So, even she understood that Camille was a problem in this situation.
“I am thankful for your concern, but you truly do not have to worry. We do not intend to have children now. That is why I am here.” It was more embarrassing to say that than he wanted to admit.
The doctor had tried to coax Aurora into opening her mouth once again, only to be met with nothing but a small wail in return. He sighed and gave up for the moment. He put down the small mirror and turned to Cedar. Then he crossed his arms and spoke in a tone that was much more patronizing than it should have been. “Did I not tell you so, Your Royal Highness? You kept refusing, and now I presume that it might be too late already. Did you talk about this with Lady Valerian?”
Cedar tried to ignore his urge to ask to discuss this later. He didn't want to speak in front of the royal couple, but in all honesty, there was nothing strange about asking for contraceptives. Yet, it felt odd to know that Theodore heard about this since the emperor would tease his brother by using this topic for the rest of their lives. But delaying this conversation wouldn't change anything about this, so Cedar might as well speak now. “I am not in a position that would require me to worry.” He definitely was. He had spent a night with Lucille already. “Until now, it was simply not necessary to use contraceptives. Now they would be appropriate though. Naturally, I did talk with Lucille, and she agreed as well. It would be best if she receives something that can be ingested with her food or as some sort of drink. Of course, this medicine should be healthy and not pose any risk to her.”
The doctor immediately replied. “I would never prescribe Lady Valerian anything that could harm her. Her Majesty has been ingesting these herbs for a few months now, and she had no issue with them, and they seem to be effective. So, they should work for Lady Valerian as well if we examine her once in a while. I will retrieve a package for you.” He disappeared into the room behind him.
That was rather relieving for Aurora. She slouched her shoulders and bit and sat there like a little doll that had been propped up against a pillow. She looked around for a bit before she found her mother and just lifted her arms.
Blanche immediately gave in and picked up her daughter to cuddle with her.
Theodore watched that with a radiant smile on his face before he forced himself to avert his eyes to meet his brother's gaze. “I can assure you that everything will be perfectly fine. That contraceptive is rather safe, but even if something did happen, you won't be alone. We will be here to help you. Don't worry about what it will be like if or when you do have children later.” How come he knew about those worries of his brother already?
Cedar put on his best smile and tried to act like he couldn't care less. He needed to seem like he wasn't currently filled to the brim with embarrassment and, for once, had no idea how to act. “Thank you very much. But I would assume that that will take a while longer. As you said a few times...maybe a dozen times already...Lucille and I are young. So, we won't suddenly have a child overnight.”
Blanche slowly swayed her daughter from side to side and kissed her head a few times before she turned her attention to Cedar. “We know that you aren't irresponsible and that you plan ahead. You will probably be as overly cautious with your children as we are, if not even more so. We also know that you will be a loving father and do your best to protect your child. But if you ever need help or if this happens too early, don't be reluctant to rely on us. A family has to stick together.” She smiled at him, and a moment later, Aurora let out some noise that almost sounded like an affirmation.
Cedar didn't bother to point out how odd it was for both Theodore and Blanche to act like this. “I have to thank you for your support, however, there is no need to-”
The doctor came back out of the room next to them and held a medium-sized package toward the prince. “There you go, Your Royal Highness. This needs to be put in a tea filter, and then you have to boil it for about five minutes. It will become a bit more bitter if you leave it in the water for longer, so prepare it depending on Lady Valerian's taste. She will have to drink it every day or every second day. Both should be enough.”
Cedar took the package and opened it with one hand while looking inside. The crumbled leaves didn't seem special. They had a slight herbal smell, but that was to be expected when he picked up dried plants. “I understand. Thank you very much.”
The doctor was as serious as before as he replied. “Since the herbs are dried, they last up to one year. Ensure that Lady Valerian drinks some tea regularly and have her visit once in a while for a regular check. And inform us if her period is not regular or if you decide to stop giving her these herbs. We would like to be aware of your plans before you act.”
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
Cedar would have liked to point out that he had asked for contraceptives a few seconds ago and wouldn't throw them away next week. But he just nodded at everything the doctor had said. “I will keep that in mind. She has to take it every day or every other day. I leave the tea steep for five minutes. And I will tell you if we change our mind or notice something unusual. I thank you for your concern, but I doubt that Lucille and I will have children soon. It will still take a while.” So, he had already accepted that he might have a baby with Lucille in the future. How quickly he had changed his mind as soon as his lover had walked into his life.
A short pause followed, and Blanche seemed to see this as her cue to add something as well. “I can calm you regarding this medicine. As you heard, I have been using it for a while now, and there haven't been complications.”
Cedar turned to her to show her a bright smile. “Oh. Do not worry. I trust the royal doctor fully. I will just make sure that Lucille can drink this soon, and after that, we don't have to worry.” They would have to worry when he had spent a night with her already. “Unless you have something else to tell me, it seems like we are done with the crucial part then. I will take my leave now if my brother and his wife permit it.” He glanced at the royal couple while waiting for the response.
Both Blanche and Theodore were already busy admiring their daughter, who clearly relished in being patted and kissed by her parents. Theodore lifted his head when he was addressed and grinned at his brother. “I wish you a good night. And thank you for helping us with Aurora today.”
“May you have a pleasant and calm night too. Hopefully, Aurora will still sleep after having napped for so long.”
The prince left the office after bidding goodbye to the empress and the doctor, carrying the package to his room. He knocked on the door and opened it with his elbow when Lucille let him inside.
Cedar immediately set the package down on the table. “Here we go. The doctor was rather quick. He prepared this a while ago, so it didn't take as long as I expected it to take.” He turned around to his lover.
Lucille stood next to him already and scanned the package with curiosity. She reached for the contents and lifted one smaller sack to look inside and then smelled the herbs. “And this is...” She met his gaze.
Cedar nodded at her. “Apparently, these herbs serve as a contraceptive. You can eat them too, but it's recommended to drink tea you boiled with those. You need to let it steep for five minutes and drink it every day or every second day. If you don't require them anymore, you have to stop consuming the medicine, and the rest should happen as normal.”
Lucille looked like she was mentally taking notes on how to prepare this tea. She was quiet for a few seconds longer before she spoke up. “I understand. Thank you for picking this up. I...would have been too embarrassed to ask for it.”
Cedar couldn't help but smile at that. He scanned her expression for a moment while his heart felt strangely warm. Even seeing her in such a normal situation filled him with bliss. This truly was love. The very thought that a broken man like Cedar could experience this was wonderful. He would have liked to admire his lover a bit longer, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so he spoke up. “It wouldn't have been bad if the doctor had been alone. But do you know who else was there? Both Theodore and Blanche. That was stressful. At least it seems like the royal couple is informed of what is going on inside of the palace.”
Lucille only got more embarrassed. “I see. Blanche will make fun of me again.” That was understandable when her reaction was this adorable.
Cedar let out a little chuckle. “I presume that Theodore will be the bigger issue, but I don't doubt that Blanche can be upsetting as well. But what do I know? Maybe they will be nice and not mention it.” He didn't believe that for even a single second, but he could hope. For now, it might be better to focus on something different though. The only question was how he should tell his lover about this without making her uncomfortable. He glanced at her and tried to guess what she was thinking before carefully addressing it. “Maybe it would be good if...we asked for some boiling water. So that you can try the tea at least once. We don't know if it tastes good.”
Lucille seemed to understand what he was hinting at with that. She averted her eyes and looked rather shy for a moment. “I...I could try it at least once. Would you...ask a servant for boiling water?” So, she didn't dare to ask herself when she knew what she would consume.
Cedar tried to cheer her up with a little smile before he walked over to the door. He instructed the first servant he met and then returned to his lover. The cup with boiling water came a few minutes later, and he quickly put a portion of the herbs into a tea filter and dipped it in the water. Now they would only need to wait a bit, and then Lucille could drink it.
Cedar eyed the water, which slowly became a bit more orange, and tried to ignore how worried he was. He knew that the doctor was well aware of what medicine to prescribe, so he shouldn't be overly skeptical. Yet, he couldn't help it. He was a bit uncertain about whether this would really work, so he could only watch in silence when Lucille eventually drank the tea. He held back for a moment until he was sure that she had swallowed before he spoke. “And?”
Lucille lowered her gaze to the drink before looking up again. “It...tastes like generic herbal tea. It's nice but nothing special.” She drank another sip. “But that's good if I have to drink this regularly. Its taste isn't too pushy, so I can easily have this during dinner.” She continued to drink after saying that.
Cedar hoped that it was really fine. If Blanche was still as healthy as before, Lucille shouldn't have complications either, right? “I'm glad to hear that. You can drink this every second day if you don't like the taste that much. And to avoid future trouble, I will just ask the kitchen staff to add this to dinner. I don't have to mention the reason why you drink this and will just say that you like this tea.”
Lucille nodded before she emptied the cup. She put it back onto the table and then folded her hands in her lap. “That would be nice. Thank you. I think that...it's fine if I have it every day, just so that we can be safe.” She paused for a moment before she began fiddling with her fingers, only to stop herself when she noticed it.
Cedar smiled even when she looked at him. He quickly read what the issue was off her face. His lover wanted something from him, but she wouldn't admit it. He watched her from the corner of his eyes and waited for her to give it a try, but Lucille stayed quiet. It seemed like she needed some encouragement. Cedar leaned over to his lover and rested his head on her shoulder.
Lucille moved almost immediately and put her hand on his head to pat him. She held still aside from that and didn't say anything either. So, this hadn't been enough.
Cedar had planned on lifting his head to try something else, but he allowed himself to enjoy this position for a moment before he stirred again. He sat up upright and turned to his lover to make eye contact. That only proved that he had been right.
Lucille was still a bit bashful. She averted her eyes in a manner that she probably hoped to be inconspicuous. But even if she did her best, she couldn't hide the way that she squirmed around on her seat. She was waiting for something because she was too embarrassed to say it by herself. And despite that, she didn't turn away from her lover, which ended with him being able to see that she got more red with time.
Cedar wasn't sure what this was about. He was getting a bit worried now. Was this something serious? He watched her for a moment before he released her. “You can tell me whatever you want, and I will make sure that you get everything you could imagine. You can also just show me what you need, and I will provide it. There is nothing that I won't try if you ask me. I won't judge you for anything you could ask of me either. So, just go ahead and let me know. Alright?” He almost expected her to say that everything was fine and that she didn't need anything. But she didn't try to fool him.
Lucille's cheeks were completely red now as she nodded at him. A few seconds passed, and she didn't dare to move. But then she seemed to have gathered the courage to try something.
Cedar hadn't expected this though.
Lucille carefully climbed on top of his lap and hugged him. For a moment, he thought that she wanted to cuddle, but that made little sense. The both of them often embraced each other, so she wasn't this embarrassed about it anymore. What she wanted had to be a bit more unusual for them.
It only took a few seconds for Cedar to guess what that was when his lover shut her eyes tightly and leaned forward to kiss him. He slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around her back before letting her take over. He was happy to kiss her back, but he allowed her to set the pace.
When Lucille pulled back again, she was already pretty nervous. Her face was still red, and her breathing had sped up a little. He could have sworn that her pupils were a bit wider than before as well. For a moment, she was quiet after that and didn't move.
That made Cedar uncertain again. Had she just wanted to kiss him, or was this about more? Was he interpreting this falsely? He wasn't even sure anymore. This also could just have been his wishful thinking. He scanned her face again, and the way that she shivered and looked away made this rather obvious. Still, Cedar couldn't be sure about whether his judgment was clouded. He just kept his eyes on Lucille while carefully testing it out. He ran his hand up her side and gently squeezed her hip.
She didn't seem surprised by that at all. Instead, she just wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and leaned to him to kiss him again.
Cedar enjoyed that fully, but a small worry grew in the back of his head. They still had to be careful, even if it was easy to forget that in the heat of the moment. He kissed his lover back and slowly let his hands wander, but he didn't go too far. He stopped a couple of seconds later and pulled back to make eye contact.
Lucille almost seemed disappointed and gazed at him with slightly arched eyebrows. She didn't dare to say anything, but the question was visible on her face already.
He quickly spoke up to clear up the misunderstanding before it developed. “We can't be sure that the contraceptive will work already. Maybe it has to...be digested properly before its effect sets in. So, it might be good to wait a few days first.”
“Oh.” Now Lucille definitely looked like she was disappointed. She averted her eyes and still held onto her lover with no intention of climbing off him.
Cedar hurried to revise his statement. “Since we need to make sure that everything works, it would be better to wait with...you know. But...we could still try some other things.” He was pretty sure that even he would get red if he had to say much more about this. He was already warm thanks to Lucille, and that she was this enthusiastic didn't make it easier to act like he was unaffected.
Lucille, whom he had expected to be a bit more hesitant when it came to such a proposal, just nodded quietly. She was too embarrassed to say much, but it seemed like she had enough courage to admit what she wanted when asked.
Cedar felt a strange warmth rising in his stomach. He didn't need to think twice about whether he would ask Lucille to walk over to the bed by herself or whether he would make it quicker. He carefully wrapped his arms around her so that he could carry her and then gave her a short warning. “Hold on tight.” With that, he stood up.
Lucille let out a small yelp but reacted in time and held on to his neck as she stabilized herself by circling his waist with her legs. She quickly noticed what was going on and just leaned her head against him while he brought her over to their destination.
Once again, it seemed like Cedar's decision had been changed instantly thanks to his lover. He truly didn't manage to hold on to his plans for very long whenever she was involved.