At the moment that Lucille first made eye contact with the dowager empress, it felt like ice spread through her veins and coated her skin. She had met Camille Estien a few times and had always disliked the other woman, but she hadn't ever felt so intimated by the other's presence.
The dowager empress was only standing there, countless steps away from Lucille, and looked at her, but it was enough to make shivers run down Lucille's spine. The first time they had made eye contact, Camille had glared at the other woman with so much hatred that it had been hard to refrain from turning away.
And just a moment later, the dowager empress had seemed so confident that it was sickening. She had relished in the way that Lucille had averted her eyes after feeling like the other woman was staring into her soul. And then she had turned to Cedar with such a sweet smile that it made Lucille's stomach churn.
This feeling was hard to describe, but Lucille hated what Camille was doing and would have liked to intervene as soon as the other woman touched Cedar. Apparently, the people around here weren't too happy about this scene either.
Blanche glared daggers at the dowager empress and muttered some less kind things under her breath before speaking up out loud. “Are you sure that he'll be fine? She's doing that again. Shouldn't we chime in and remind her of where she is?”
Theodore, who held his wife's arm, seemed rather calm in comparison. “We can do that if it takes too long. But I am sure that Cedar will manage. He will be strong enough to get out of her grasp. If he doesn't do that by himself, we can't help him either.”
Lucille could only stare at the scene and hoped that the prince would really do it. She wanted him as far away from Camille as possible.
Just at that second, something finally happened. Cedar moved slowly, but he pushed away his mother's hand and said something to her before turning around to come toward the group.
Lucille's heart skipped a beat in relief. She heard that Camille told her son something but couldn't understand what it was.
Cedar ignored whatever it had been and came toward the group. He only stopped when he was directly in front of them. “You don't really warn others, do you? You should have told me if you were planning something like this, Theodore. I was already worrying about how weak the security measures in the palace are.”
The emperor gave him a faint smile, which was weakened by the annoyance that his mother's presence had caused. “I apologize. I didn't want it to be an act. I only wanted to visualize that you would choose our side.”
Cedar raised an eyebrow at that. “You are very confident, aren't you? It could have ended differently.” He already acted like nothing happened again, but he couldn't hide the strange undertone in his voice. Cedar was upset. He wasn't ready to move past everything that had happened with his mother, and that was understandable.
Lucille fought the urge to offer him a hug. Maybe she should do that when they were alone. That seemed like a nice idea. She would calm Cedar down after that horrible woman was gone. That thought made her glance over at the other end of the corridor again.
Doing that had been a mistake.
Camille was still glaring at Lucille with so much hatred that it was ridiculous. They hadn't even had the chance to interact with each other in private yet, so there was no reason to hate the other woman.
But Lucille couldn't think much about how logical this was when she felt like she was an insect that was about to be crushed under someone's heel. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't and was trapped by the dowager empress' furious gaze. Then all of a sudden, her view was obstructed.
Cedar had stepped between them and hid her from the dowager empress' eyes.
Lucille immediately felt relief crash over her as she made eye contact with him. He truly was a savior who came at the right moment again. “Thank you.”
Cedar gave her a fake smile. “I didn't do anything special, so there is no need to thank me. Are you doing alright?” Why was he asking her when he was clearly the one with the worse mood?
Lucille opened her mouth to ask him whether everything was fine with him but stopped herself. Would he even like being asked? Normally, Cedar was relatively quiet when it came to his emotions. He had only asked for a hug when he felt horrible too. He hadn't given an extensive explanation nor had he wanted to speak about what happened. It was probably like this now again. Lucille didn't even need to ask whether he was fine since she knew what answer she would receive, but she couldn't help it anyway. “I'm fine. Are you?”
As expected, the prince put in some effort to paint a much brighter smile onto his lips. “Naturally. But I think that we should leave before a scene develops. I don't want to see her being dragged out of the palace.” That was understandable, but there was one little issue.
If one saw a member of the royal family, one naturally had to greet them. Since Lucille had made eye contact with the dowager empress, she should greet the other woman. She was more than reluctant to do that, but the royal couple was here too. If they intended to see Camille, Lucille would have to as well.
For a few seconds, she was quiet before she dared to speak up. “Will we go greet her?”
Cedar's response came immediately. “No. The less you talk to her, the better. She isn't in a good mood, so to speak. I don't think she will personally murder someone at the moment, but that can change quickly. So, I would like to move further away before she decides that leaving the palace on her own isn't for her.”
Blanche chimed in at that. “Of course. No one here wishes to speak to her. It seems like she is immersed in a staring contest anyway. We can leave without looking back.”
Lucille would be relieved if they did that.
To her satisfaction, the emperor agreed and decided that it would be better to move forward before Camille lost her mind. He sent a few knights to escort the dowager empress to her mansion, and the group left. It seemed like Theodore wanted to speak about what had happened, but he quickly noticed that his brother wasn't in the mood. So, he soon said farewell and rushed off with Blanche.
That left Lucille alone with Cedar. She could barely voice her suggestion about him accompanying her to her room when he already nodded.
Cedar was the one that led her to their destination afterward.
As soon as the door shut, Lucille was engulfed in a warm and tight hug again, without her knowing what to do. She gave her best to return the hug without squeezing him too tightly, but there had been no need to worry at all. Cedar was certainly stronger than she was, so she didn't have to hold back.
This time, they were completely silent without anyone letting out even a single noise for a long time.
They only spoke again when Cedar moved them toward the sofa and plopped down on it. He pulled Lucille onto his lap, probably without noticing it, and then just sat there while keeping his arms wrapped around her. It felt like he needed something to hold onto, so her being there had probably been good for him. Still, it was obvious that he hated being so vulnerable.
Cedar kept staring at the room over her shoulder when he spoke up in a whisper. “I'm sorry for doing this so suddenly. I...will leave if you tell me to. I just...need a moment.” He had taken much longer than that already, but she wouldn't complain about that.
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“It's fine. I said that I'm here for you, didn't I? Now I need to stick to my words too. As long as I can, I will be glad to help you.” It wasn't like embracing him felt uncomfortable to her either, so there was no need for him to worry.
Cedar was quiet for a short moment before he replied in a weak voice. “Thank you.” Then the both of them just remained silent for a while again.
There was so much Lucille wanted to say, but she had no idea whether she could address those topics without forcing Cedar to concern himself with unpleasant matters again. In the end, it seemed like he would rather keep quiet, but she had some questions. So, she was careful while trying to find a balance between speaking to him and giving him some peace. “Cedar? Can I ask something?”
He hummed in acknowledgment.
Lucille forced herself to hold back a bit when she put her thoughts into words. “Your mother is...supposed to stay in the mansion in the forest, isn't she? Why is she here now? You said that His Majesty wanted to let her in on purpose. But...Her Majesty will give birth soon. Is it a good idea to let people like your mother inside at the time?”
The prince let out a small huff of air, but he didn't sound very amused. “Of course not. But Theodore thinks that he can predict what everyone around him will do. He is much too careless. And he is the most powerful person here. I can't just chime in and tell him to throw her out, even though that would be much more clever. But he is confident. You heard his explanation. Theodore says that he wants to keep an eye on her. I think he just wants to make her hope that she can win before crushing her dreams. When it comes to people he hates, he has gotten quite sadistic. He's not wrong about wanting the worst for the people that wronged him, but I wonder where he suddenly got that cruelty from.”
“I see.” Lucille allowed herself to lean forward so that she could rest her head on Cedar's shoulder and stared at the wall behind them. She could understand the emperor to some extent, but she was much more worried. She would never dare to take such risks. Lucille would rather make sure that everything went right instead of relying on her ability to guess what other people wanted to do.
Cedar carefully lifted one of his hands and stroked over the back of her head while he responded. “Maybe he wants to see her reaction to him making Althea the dowager empress too. I don't know. I haven't been able to guess what has been going on inside his head ever since I saw him after confinement. He didn't even give Mother a strong guard that could kill her if a problem arose. He just lets her run around like that. Is he suicidal? I don't get him at all.” He took a deep breath and then let his head fall forward so that he rested his forehead on her shoulder.
Lucille used that chance to run her fingers through his hair while listening to him. When he finished, she replied in a soft voice. “I wish I could tell you what His Majesty is thinking. I'm worried too. Even if he can guess what will happen, something unexpected can always occur at some point, right? It would be dangerous not to be prepared for things like that. I also wouldn't allow someone I distrust to live in my house.”
Cedar was silent for a little moment before a chuckle left his throat. “So, you trusted me when you picked me up? That doesn't sound very thought-over. But I...have to admit that I never thought much about what I did during that time either. I should have expected that my mother would react like this, but...I got distracted. I can't let that happen again.” He sighed quietly before he moved his head around a bit. Then he seemed to ponder something before he spoke up again. “And now we already have new problems. I was looking forward to Theodore's birthday, you know. I thought that that day would be calm and nice for us. But now my mother might even show up there. Great.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm, which only proved that he truly couldn't deal with Camille.
Lucille stroked over his head again. “But she might not be there. Your brother certainly doesn't want to have her there during his birthday.”
“He doesn't. But he won't pass up on an opportunity to find out who is on her side. He wants to see whether some idiot will stand next to her during the festivities. Theodore will watch her closely the whole time. So, I can assume that she won't hurt someone. But she may do other, less pleasant things. She might confront us and-” Cedar cut himself off and stiffened a bit. Then he suddenly lifted his head and pushed her back a bit so that they made eye contact. “You can't trust her under any circumstance. Do you understand me? She will have no issue hurting you because she knows that I care. Stay away as far as possible. I will always try to keep an eye on you, but if she sends others to distract me, I might not always be able to see you.” He sounded so serious while saying that, and his smile had actually disappeared for a moment.
That was enough to convince Lucille. “Of course. I will always make sure to stay in the center of the room if I see her. I never really trusted her, so you don't have to worry.”
“Good. Please keep that in mind.” Cedar slowly relaxed again and put his chin on her shoulder.
Once more, Lucille noticed that she was completely smitten by him. If he felt unwell, she immediately felt bad too. She only managed to relax when he had calmed down too. Even then, she wanted to keep consoling him despite not being qualified to do so. It was foolish. After all, falling for a prince was just ridiculous, and she couldn't expect that to give her the right to care for him. But when they sat here together, alone in the room while cuddling, she might just start to hope that her newfound feelings could not be one-sided.
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The last three days before the ball had been very busy for the staff, but Lucille had barely noticed anything. She had only been focused on repeating the dance steps and planning her attire. She had received most of the jewelry from the tailor despite not wanting to force the empress to pay so much. So, she had mainly used new items and had only added one more accessory out of the ones that had already been in her possession. Lucille had picked the blue and silver head ornament she had bought three months ago. It was still as beautiful as she remembered it, and upon putting the small accessory in her hair, she actually felt a bit pretty.
The light blue dress with white lace and a slightly darker hem that Madame Charture had chosen was just too perfect, and the subtle jewelry and the not-so-subtle clasp with the silver branches and diamonds created the most gorgeous attire Lucille owned. She had thought that this would be enough to make her look somewhat acceptable, but two hours before the ball, Darlene suddenly showed up.
The maid insisted on putting on a bit of make-up and styling the other's hair, which had definitely been worth it.
Lucille could barely recognize herself when she looked into the mirror after they were done. The dress framed her torso flawlessly before it ended with a puffy skirt, which outdid the ones of all ballgowns she had ever worn. Her normally straight hair was rolled into soft curls now, and the head ornament had been adjusted to sit in an even more beautiful position. Lucille had to admit that she felt like a princess when she saw that, especially since she knew that a prince would be waiting for her.
And that thought only put more pressure on her.
Today, she would accompany Cedar, who had to be perfect in public at all times. She couldn't embarrass him or mess up the dance. She also couldn't be too scared of being watched because countless people would stare at her as soon as she arrived. Lucille could only hope that the royal couple would be the center of attention so that Cedar and she could pass by with few spectators.
Telling herself didn't help much though. Lucille was so nervous that her stomach churned the whole time, and upon opening the door for Cedar, she felt like she would throw up. That quickly got even worse when she saw how handsome he looked again. She had known that he would dress up in a uniform with the same colors her dress had, but it was still odd to see how much he seemed to glow just because he had prepared to go out.
Cedar already beamed at her as soon as they made eye contact. “Good afternoon. It seems like we are both ready to depart.” He paused after saying that and scanned her from head to toe, which almost made her squirm under his gaze. It took a small moment before he lifted his head again, and his smile softened a bit. “You look beautiful, as always. You might just charm the whole ballroom if you come in like that.”
Lucille's breath hitched, and she reached up to push a strand of hair behind her ear, only to be stopped by Darlene clearing her throat. She quickly lowered her hand again and bashfully averted her eyes. “I...thank you very much. I wasn't sure whether it was good or whether I should not use the headpiece or...” She stopped herself from rambling and cursed her embarrassment. “I mean... You look wonderful too. I'm sure everyone in the room will fall for you in an instant.” Much like she was being charmed right now.
Cedar grinned at her. “I hope not. Most nobles are already annoying enough. I don't need them to become even more clingy. Besides, I only belong to my partner. No one else will be able to enjoy my presence during the ball anyway.” He offered his hand to her and showed her an expression that proved that he was definitely doing this on purpose.
Lucille already felt the well-known churning in her stomach and quickly looked to the side while she took his hand. “Thank you for escorting me. It's an honor and a pleasure to visit a ball with you.” She would have liked to assure him that she was very happy with this arrangement even more, but she had told him that often enough during the past few days.
Cedar gave her a little smile when he pulled her out of her room. “The pleasure is all mine. It seems that I chose a good partner if she is as content as I am. Would you mind if I bragged a bit about having such beautiful company?” He seemed to give his best today.
Lucille felt how her heart slowly picked up speed and cursed herself. She didn't want to blush now. That would give away how easily he could make her lose her composure with just a few words. She didn't meet his gaze when she replied in a quiet voice. “Aren't I the one that should brag? I mean...I definitely have the best partner in the whole ballroom.” For a moment, she dared to hope that she would manage to evoke the same reaction in Cedar as he had evoked in her. Unsurprisingly, that didn't work out.
Cedar still smirked at her as if he was more self-assured than ever before. “I'm flattered. Thank you very much. Then it seems like I have to live up to that title. I will take care of you for the entire evening.” He began moving down the hallway and slowed his pace so that Darlene could catch up to them.
The maid quickly reached them and gave Lucille a grin while she spoke. “I fear that I have to excuse myself now. I need to go to Her Majesty so that I can attend her during the ball.”
Lucille was a bit taken aback by that. “But we will probably enter with the royal couple. Can't you come with us since we have to go to the same entrance anyway?”
Cedar chimed in at that. “Today, we will have to enter without the royal couple. It's Theodore's birthday, so we need to wait inside before he steps in.”
Which meant that they would enter the room without anyone being there to take away some attention from them. Great.
Lucille immediately stiffened, and her attempts to hide her nervousness probably weren't successful. She hated the thought of being watched by so many people, but there was nothing she could do about it. In the end, she would still need to go out. But for now, she would distract herself. She turned to the prince and spoke up in a soft voice. “Did your brother tell you whether she will attend?”
Cedar glanced over at her, and a bit of seriousness appeared in his eyes despite his continuous smile. “I don't know why, but he invited her. And she would never pass up on an opportunity to go bother our family. It seems like my mother will be there. Theodore probably wants to show her how many people are on his side and how few will pay attention to her. But it's still annoying. We'll avoid talking to her. There are only two options for her. Either she will cause a huge scene, or she'll be as quiet as possible to regain some of her lost dignity. But in the end, both cases will not give her an excuse to cling to us. If she approaches us, we will quickly run away.” It seemed like he was still unhappy about the thought of Lucille meeting his mother.
That was a good thing. After all, Lucille's desire to meet the woman who had glared at her with so much unjustified hatred that she had considered running away was small as well. But in the end, running away from the dowager empress was impossible. They could only hope that Camille would leave them alone, or they would be in trouble.