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CHAPTER 24: IT’S LIKE COOKING!
We keep running through the forest until I judge it safe to rest. When I think we have left the undead horde’s magical sense range, I call out to Thena. “Thena! We should have left the undead horde’s magical sense range! It should be safe to take a rest.” Like that.
The semi-orc slows down, glances at me and eventually stops. After scanning our surroundings for threats one last time, she heavily sits down and leans her back against a tree, panting. She retrieves a wineskin from her inventory and drinks the water greedily. She looks exhausted. Again, her character isn’t built for long runs. Tanks endure the damage, they don’t move so much normally… I think. She got the stamina, but fighting your way out of an undead swarm is tiring both physically and mentally. I’ve mostly ridden the goat for the last bit, but even I am tired.
I slide off Appleseed—that’s what I’ve decided to call the goat—and I rub my sore bum. I haven’t ridden in... Well, I’ve never ridden in this body now that I think about it. Being carried by Thena doesn’t count. I drag myself to my companion’s side and pat her armoured shoulder. “Are you okay? You look exhausted.”
She closes her eyes and rests her head against the bark of the tree. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”
“Sure. Take your time. They’ll probably come after us, eventually. But I think we’ve got an hour or so to rest.” It’s my estimation. Without a clear living target, the undead horde should scatter. It’s only a matter of time before at least some of them find us, but it won’t happen in an instant. Hopefully, we won’t have to deal with that kind of swarm anytime soon. “Those aren’t really fast. Thanks the gods.”
“Those?” Thena asks without opening her eyes.
“Yeah…” I drawl, casting a look around.
The woods are dark and even my night vision struggles to pierce very far. The shadows are eerily quiet, yet probably filled with rotten monsters. I can’t say I’m comfortable, knowing how weak I am right now. However, Thena’s massive presence makes it far less intimidating than it ought to be. She’s just… reassuring that way.
My gaze drops briefly on Toto napping on one of Thena’s shoulder pads. Lucky bastard. I slide by her side and lean against her upper arm. Is metal supposed to be soft? I don’t know. It sure feels like it, though.
I’m feeling peckish after that effort, but I don’t think Thena is up for a snack right now. And the thick, viscous undead blood maculating us both kind of kills my appetite, even for her succulent blood.
I continue speaking, softly, answering her previous question. “[Zombies] like these are rather slow. They’re basically immortal and never tire but aren’t much of a threat on their own. They’re the easiest undead to raise, though, so they usually come in swarms. I guess numbers are a strength in itself.”
“I’m not good with crowds,” Thena comments absently.
“Uhm.” I don’t look at her and continue scanning the silent darkness. The trees are really tall in this forest. Nowhere near the giants of Nowhere, but still impressive by most standards. I wonder if she was talking about her character’s ability or about herself, in general, being uneasy with crowds.
“The next weakest are [Skeletons]. They can use basic fighting tools and run to a moderate jog, but they’re still rather easy to dispatch. Beyond that, they’re a whole lot of others, ranging from [Ghouls], degenerate vampires who can run fast and are always hungry, [Wraith], angry spirits that can’t be harmed with physical means, to [Liches] who are basically undead sorcerers. Oh, and [Soul Dragons] of course. Those are dreadful.”
Thena cracks an eye open and both our gazes move briefly to the possessed puppy toy, who snorts cutely in its sleep. Dreadful indeed. Thena’s golden eye return to me. “And where do you fit on that totem pole?”
“Me? I guess pretty high…” I look away. “Even if it doesn’t really feel like it.” I gather my legs between my arms and rest my chin on my knees. “With me being the supposed ruler of the entire vampire race, and all that.” I look up again and meet Thena’s fixed stare.
She eventually closes her eye and leans back against the tree. “I can’t see it.”
I sigh, smile and return to watching the trees. “Yeah. Me neither.”
There is a long stretch of silence before she inclines head in Appleseed’s general direction. “What about this one?”
“I… honestly don’t know. All books I’ve read about Necromancy state that raising undead animal should be impossible, but there clearly are many of them all over Erwyn, so…”
She opens her eyes. Her eyebrows furrow. She casts me a complicated and searching look, which I return with puzzlement. She opens her mouth to say something, but we are suddenly interrupted.
“Ahem. I believe I can shed some light onto this issue, young warrior.”
“KILL!!” Victoria’s voice explodes in my ears.
But before I can react in any way, the world spins and I find myself pinned between an armoured chest and a shield. I blink, stunned, and look up. Thena’s green face is just a few inches from mine, her intense glare fixated on someone I can’t see. I think I blush, but I can’t really be sure. I’m mostly feeling sticky right now, from all that undead blood on my… everywhere.
“Who are you?” Thena’s low growl is angry and dangerous. It sends shivers through my body— thought that’s probably because I’m pressed against her chest, and her voice is making said chest vibrate. But I can’t deny I could listen to that husky rasp all day.
The other’s voice, though, not so much. “Hohoho.”
Ugh. Not that guy again.
“Butcher his groin, stuff it in his mouth and stitch the lips!”
I like this girl’s style.
Quiet. Both of you.
“Impressive reaction, young warrior. Truly impressive. Such is the ardour of the youth. But let me introduce myself, young warrior. This one’s name is Ambrose, former Knight of the House Corbin and then General of Erwyn, now humble Elder of Kansas… Hmmm. But I reckon that title too is now to shelve in the ‘former’ category. I understand my sudden appearance startled you, but you need not be wary. I mean no harm. You can ask your companion.”
Thena risks a glance down and I manage a nod. She puts me down. I repress a disappointed sigh and spun to face the old crook... who still has the appearance of a fairy tale prince charming: all brawny muscles, blond flowing hair and charming smile from a toothpaste commercial. It’s so weird seeing him like that. I totally cannot reconcile this top-model Hollywood princely appearance with the memory of the crazy old skinny hunchback I’ve come to know. I glower at him for a moment, but then click my tongue and shake my head.
He’s not worth the energy to be angry at him.
“He’s not an enemy. But I wouldn’t trust him too much either. He can be… deceptive.”
Thena’s gaze jumps between the two of us before settling on me. I can almost see the wheels turning behind those intense golden eyes. “You two know each other? I thought you were stuck in that tower since two thousand years ago.” I don’t like the suspicious anger creeping in her voice.
“In fact…” Ambrose answers for me. Thena’s intense golden eyes snap back to him. “Truth is, young warrior, me and mine have been guarding the entrance to the valley for the past pair of millennia. I am not what you would consider ‘alive’. I am a soul, bound to this mortal plane by my own magic until I fulfil my task.” He turns translucent to make his point. The trees behind him become briefly visible through his silhouette. “Two thousand years is not much to me. I knew Princess Victoria before she was cursed and trapped in that tower.”
Nice save, old man! There is no better lie than an incomplete truth!
.
.
.
Wait. Did I not decide I would come clean with Thena, at least the part about me being a player?
But we’re not in immediate danger anymore. We can keep up the charade a little longer.
But it’s not fair to her.
Then tell her.
But I don’t want her to hate me.
Wouldn’t she be even angrier the longer you keep deceiving her?
On whose side are you?!
Yours, always.
…thanks… but that doesn’t really help.
I know. I’m just a voice, what did you expect?
I’m… I’m kind of scared.
I know.
I’ve had enough of being alone.
I know.
And Dan and Yas have their guild… I… I can’t really stand that much of a crowd… or rather the expectations and responsibility that come with being part of a community. It’s… troublesome.
I know. I’m you, remember? But I can’t make your decisions for you, little bro. You know my stand on human relationships.
…I guess.
……
………
In the end, I just look to the side and don’t raise my voice to complete Ambrose’s statement.
I’m a coward, I know. I just don’t want to deal with this.
Why can’t everyone just have mindless fun and forget about the heavy stuff?
People are too complicated.
Thena’s voice cuts through my thoughts. She’s still talking to Ambrose. “What do you mean, you can explain?”
“Well…” The old ghost lets himself drop to the ground and sits cross-legged without a care in the world. “Everything started seven thousand years ago—”
“Keep it short and to the point. We don’t have time for this, ‘Elder’.” Thena snaps, sounding sceptical. Something is bothering her, I can tell. She also has yet to relax her fighting stance.
Well, I suppose fleeing from an army of dead people trying to kill you doesn’t encourage trusting and peaceful towards ghosts. Especially not a ghost who looks like a man in his twenties but is calling himself “Elder”. That’s just creepy.
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
The ghost in question just shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. “Young people. Always so impatient… I understand. If that is what you want…” He pauses and glances around. “You might as well sit down. There is nothing dangerous close by.” He looks up expectantly at Thena.
The semi-orc doesn’t move except for slightly relaxing her stance. I stay up beside her in solidarity. That’s the least I can do. Toto is still napping on Thena’s shoulder… How did he not fall when she jumped up? Appleseed is looking for something in the bushes. Apples probably. I envy their carefreeness.
Ambrose sighs, but his expression is indulgent—and a little patronizing, if I’m honest. I kind of want to punch him in the face.
Eventually, though, he starts his tale.
“A long time ago, there existed three powerful Soul Mages in Erwyn. They were named Sirius, Jafar, and Ambrose, all students of the same master. Amongst the three, Sirius and Jafar soon steered away from the path of pure Soul Magic and into the territory of Necromancy. Sirius wanted to study the mysteries of the Undeath and Immortality. Jafar lusted for the easy power to accomplish his own deluded goals. Both eventually turned themselves into liches to gain more time than their mortal lifespan allowed. Ambrose, however, stayed faithful to the teachings of their master, remained human and eventually died of old age after passing on his knowledge to his descendants. He was my ancestor, Ambrose the First, and the founder of the Noble Knight House Corbin.”
Thena groans. “Nice story, but how does all this relate to a bloody undead goat?!”
She’s really impatient, isn’t she?
Though, she does have a point.
Old NPCs never give straight answers.
That is indeed a problem.
Right, and how come I never heard of any of this? I’m the one who’s been exploring this cursed country for months before I myself was cursed and trapped!
Maybe you’re just a lousy investigator.
Hey!
“At some point, the deluded one became too dangerous. Thus another of my ancestors and the second disciple who had turned to Necromancy united their—”
“Wait, why would that other one help?” Thena interrupts again. “Aren’t Necromancers evil?”
Yeah, that’s a common misconception. For some reason, undead monsters are scarce in the areas players have reached so far, and more so Necromancers. In fact, I only know of one undead dungeon in the Safe Zone where player density is the highest. It opened after I left the area, though, so I never actually cleared it and I have no idea what’s inside exactly. I don’t check the forums for that sort of thing. I don’t like spoilers.
“Necromancy isn’t inherently evil, Thena. It’s just really easy to abuse and it tends to corrupt its wielders with the attraction of easy power.” Both the woman and the ghost turn their heads to me when I suddenly answer. I meet their gazes and shrug. “What? It’s true. I mean, the evil part of Necromancy is binding unwilling souls to decaying bodies. It’s another matter to call willing allies back from the dead and give them a decent envelope to inhabit. That’s how [Death Knights] are supposed to be made… I think.” I shoot Ambrose a questioning look.
He nods in confirmation. “Indeed. Necromancy is often a misunderstood practise, even by its own practitioners. However, I would argue history has shown it is usually unwise to grant mortals power over life and death. It is a slippery slope, and very few were able to resist such temptation.”
“Not to mention that [Liches] lose most of their emotions along with their flesh. It doesn’t breed sane judgement.”
“That is also true, young one. Moreover—”
“Enough!” Thena slams her shield into the ground. “Okay, I get it. Necromancy is not bad. People are. Great. But we’re getting off track.” She taps her left foot impatiently. “Get to the point, spirit.”
“Technically, I am not a spi—”
Athena growls menacingly.
What are you, a dog?
Well, she can be a bit of a bitch.
“…but I guess it does not really matter.” Ambrose coughs into his fist. “Ahem. As I was saying, one of my ancestors, Ambrose Corbin the Seventh, joined forces with Sirius Erwyn to stop the mad Necromancer Jafar Rasputin. The—”
“Pffft!”
“A problem, young one?”
“No, no, don’t mind me.” I wave him off and add in a murmur, “Why not Judas Scar McTaitor while you’re at it?”
“Did you say something?” The ghost raises an eyebrow at me.
“No, no. Please go on.”
“Ahem. Yes. The battle was a tough one. My ancestor’s magic was powerful in a one-on-one battle but less suited to fall armies of the undead. As for Sirius, he was a scholar more than a fighter. They did defeat Jafar in the end but were unable to fully destroy him. Weakened themselves, they had to settle for sealing his soul.”
I repress a groan and mutter some more under my breath. “Right… because sealing the bad guy never backfires. Great.”
Thena shoots me a quizzical look, but I shake my head. She turns back to Ambrose. “And? I suppose this has something to do with why this country is in this state.”
Ambrose nods gravely. “Yes. The battle against Jafar happened millennia before I was even born. However, it seemed the Mad Necromancer is back. This global curse is almost undoubtedly his fault, although I believe maybe not his intention. From the information I’ve gathered in the past month, Jafar and Sirius fought again three hundred years ago.”
“That other guy was still alive?” My handsome Shield Bearer frowns in confusion.
Is it “my” Shield Bearer now?
Let me live my fantasies.
I look up. “They’re both liches, Thena. That makes them one of the closest things to immortal. Though they’re not really alive.”
“Oh. I see.” Her frown deepens thoughtfully. It keeps slipping my mind that her knowledge of fantasy lore is severely lacking. She’s such a good player and so smart, it’s easy to forget. “Please continue.”
Ambrose looks up at the dark clouds, visible through gaps in the canopy. “I have no solid evidence, but I performed some rituals on the likely place of their battle, and I deducted this strange curse is the result of clashing magic going berserk. A fight between two ancient [Elder Liches] can have devastating and unpredictable consequences. Especially Sirius’ magic.”
“Why’s that?”
“Jafar was—is powerful, but as far as Necromancer go, he is quite conventional. He raises armies and commands them to battle. Sirius is a researcher, stretching the limits of his dark arts towards untrodden paths. He was the one to discover a way to create undead from animals. Currently, everything but plants which dies in this country rises back as undead monsters, thus some elements of this Grand Curse must be his.”
“It couldn’t be someone else’s doing?”
“He never publicized his researches. I only came across it by chance and through means that could not be reproduced. I guess someone else might have discovered Sirius’ secrets, but that probability is close to null.” He frowns at the sky. “This also has the same botched feeling as…” His gaze drops to me so briefly I might have imagined it. Although, his next words confirm it. “…another accidental curse I’ve encountered. I highly doubt this result was intentional. Whoever cast this curse had to have suffered a severe backlash. Even to an [Elder Lich], it would have nearly shattered their soul.”
“So that’s why the goat—”
“Appleseed,” I interrupt.
Thena throws me a deadpan glance.
“That’s her name. Appleseed.” I am not backing off on this.
“Riiight. So, that’s why… Appleseed… exists.”
Ambrose nods. “That is indeed why.”
“And why isn’t it trying to murder us like the rest of them?”
“I used a spell to restore some of its mind, but it’s a weak one. It will unravel soon.”
“WHAT?!” The rest I didn’t really care, but he tells me my epic undead pet goat will turn back into a mindless monster?! I can’t accept this! I jump to Ambrose and try to grab him by the shoulders. I haven’t cast my [Soul Grab] spell, however, and my hands just pass through him. I almost fall over. I catch myself and glare at the old ghost. “Do you mean she’s going to revert back to some mindless monster?! I don’t want that!” I like that goat! And she makes such a good mount!
A large hand falls on my shoulder and pulls me back. “Vicky. Stop acting up.”
“But—!!”
“And stay quiet.”
“Aw.” I pout. I try to shrug her off but in vain. “It’s not like the undead can hear us.” I pout more and glare at her.
She glares back. “Let him talk,” her deep voice rumbles over me. Uuuuh… Please don’t do that. I just changed my panties.
You don’t wear panties.
That’s beside the point!
I pout even more and look away. “You were the one who kept interrupting earlier,” I grumble.
“What did you say?” The iron grip on my shoulders tightens.
“Ow-ow-ow—Nothing. Nothing. Just…” I turn to Ambrose. “What—What can we do about it? Can’t you cast another stronger spell?”
Ambrose shakes his head. “Alas. I do not retain much of my power, and this already drained what little of me I still dared to spare. This is also the real reason why I came to you two now. I have a favour to ask of you.”
All emotions desert my face.
*jiiiiiiiiiiii*
“……” Ambrose pretends not to notice my stare.
“…........a favour, huh?”
“Ah… yes.”
“I remember last time I did you a favour.”
He expertly ignores my accusing glare by not meeting my eyes. “Err… Yes—But first!” He turns to Thena with a shifty business smile. “To answer your other question: I cannot do anything about the goat—”
“Appleseed.”
“…but Victoria can if she uses the same binding ritual she used on the dragon’s soulgem. It should keep the goa—”
“Appleseed.”
“…Appleseed from reverting, in exchange for a small drain on her mana pool.”
“Awesome!—Wait.” I narrow my eyes at the dead mage. “Are you sure about this? The spell didn’t really turn out… as expected with that scally annoyance over there.” I nod in Toto’s direction. The possessed plush cracks an eyelid open and huffed haughtily at me before going back to sleep.
Little shit.
My expression turns ugly. “You… ungrateful… little… twerp!” I try to jump at the toy, but a big hand catches me mid-jump and puts me down on the ground. I keep flailing my arms ineffectively at the dragon-puppy. “I gave you a physical form back! You’d be a rock if not for me!” I try to reach for the miserable creature to… I don’t know… squeeze him really hard… but Thena effortlessly keeps me rooted into place. I eventually give up and cross my arms with a pout. “Why is he getting preferential treatment? He’s being mean to me!”
“Because you are making a scene and wasting time,” Thena answers flatly.
Why? Why Thena?!
Toto cracks an eyelid open again and sniggers silently at me.
Grrrrrrr… Just wait, you piece of… fluff!
My vengeance shall be brutal yet unpredictable!
“There is a simple reason, young one. Trying to subject a soul stronger than yourself will not work without that soul’s consent.”
“Who’s stronger than whom?!”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “Kalameet is an ancient dragon who lived during the era of the Great Wars. You did not truly expect him to be bound to your will, did you?”
My response to both is a disgruntled mumble. I sigh. “Whatever. Let me just draw the magical circle.” I shrug Thena’s hand off, and this time she lets me go. I pick up a large twig on the ground and find a relatively flat section of dirt.
It takes me about five minutes to complete the drawings. I feel Thena’s looming form approach over my shoulder.
“It’s… simpler than I expected.”
I swallow a “Well, duh!” and instead explain patiently. “I’m not trying to tie a soul to an inanimate object this time. This ritual is surprisingly simple. It’s not unlike Necromancy, but the goal is to bind a consenting soul that is already in this plane, and not to rip a soul from the Afterlife and enslave them against their will. It really removes most of the complicated parts.” I take a step back and observe my oeuvre d’art.
Not bad. I’d even say not bad at all for something improvised on an uneven forest floor. I look back at my semi-orc companion. “In fact, it’s basically a familiar contract, plus some additions, for instance, to keep the soul from falling under the control of other Soul Mages or Necromancers.”
Ambrose throws in his two cents from the side. “It goes even beyond that, young warrior. This ritual also makes use of the special powers of the [BloodSoul Mage]. Should one of the BloodSoul’s familiars be destroyed, as long as their soul is still around, bringing them back to unlife will be a simple matter.”
“Hmmm...” Thena scratches a tusk pensively. “I see.”
I’ve already returned my attention to the shallow burrows of the magical circle I’ve dug into the ground. Now all that’s missing…
“Thena, I don’t suppose you have some crushed undead bones?”
“Err… no?”
“[Dark Fairy] dust?”
“No.”
“Ashes of a [Corrupted Treant]?”
“…no?”
“Powdered mana gems?”
“No. And do you have any ideas how fucking expensive those are?! Why would you turn them into powder?!”
I glance at her. “It’s an essential component in runic magic, young lady.” I take on my best lecturing tone. “Just drawing the symbols isn’t enough. You need a catalyst. Cheap catalysts, like certain types of bones, get consumed by the ritual, like what happened back at Martha’s house. Others don’t. You usually use more potent stuff if you want to make artefacts. Dragon blood, for example, will seep into the material and keep the runic enchantments working for at least a century, if done well. And that’s just the raw dragon blood… Oh.”
“What?”
“Blood.” My eyes roam all over her armour, which is covered in very slowly drying undead blood. Undead blood is almost like tar in consistency. Much more viscous than normal human blood. It takes ages to fully dry. “Most of those animated corpses must have existed for at least a couple centuries. Their blood will do.”
“The age is important?” Thena asks. At the same time, she takes a bowl from her inventory and starts scraping the blood off her. I love how efficient she is.
“Sure. The magic needs to seep into the catalyst. In case of blood, or bones, the older the creature, the better. The type of magic is important too, and thus the type of creature. That’s why normal fairy dust wouldn’t work to bind an undead. Like holy water, it would just hurt Appleseed and make the ritual fail.” I accept the bowl she hands me over. With a small dagger taken from my belt, I cut along my arm and let a good amount of my own blood flow into the bowl. When there is enough, I crystallise a layer to seal the wound and stir the bloody mix.
I feel kind of lightheaded. I will need to feed after this, or I’ll probably pass out… or whatever happens when my Thirst bar hits zero. When Satiety hits zero, stamina stops regenerating and health regeneration too drops to almost nothing, but I still haven’t tested what happens when my bloodthirst reaches its apex. Given I’m part-vampire, I was concerned I’d just drop dead on the spot. Vampires need blood to survive, don’t they?
Mmmh… I probably should have checked that out back in the tower, when I didn’t suffer from any death penalty.
Why not just check the forums for that? There are other vampires players. One is bound to have posted something.
…
…...
………oh.
You forgot, didn’t you?
…No? Errrrr… “It’s still blood from crappy zombies, though, so I need a larger amount of my own blood to balance it out,” I add with a smile towards Thena.
Right, change the subject.
Please? I’m talking right now.
Tsk.
“How do you know exactly how much?”
“Err… Instincts?”
“It doesn’t seem very scientific.” Thena frowns. Oh, her and her “science”. So cute.
I shrug. “Meh. It’s like cooking. You don’t need to always follow the recipe as long as you know the ingredients.”
“Do you know these ingredients?”
I grin brightly. “No!” But that’s half the fun! …I don’t say that. I use an excuse that will speak to her. “But do you have a tool to measure the catalytic potential of lesser undead blood?”
“…no.”
“See?” I nod wisely, and I pour the content of the bowl into the burrows of the magical circle. “Now stop worrying about pointless stuff. There’s only a small chance this will explode. Could you put Appleseed in that ring in the middle? Try not to damage the lines, please.”
“Sure—” She pauses mid-turn and snaps her head back to me so fast I’m afraid she suffered a whiplash. “Explode?!” Her eyes narrow dangerously. “…how small a chance?”
“Hehehe.” I laugh nervously, avert my gaze, and suck in an anxious breath. With my smallest voice, I say, “Err… it’s like cooking?”
“VICKY!!!”
* * * * *