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CHAPTER 15: OUT OF NOWHERE
*wriggle* *wriggle* *wriggle*
This is insulting. Scandalous!
“Mmmh! Mmh-mmh-MMMMH!!”
*wriggle* *wriggle*
“Silence, or I knock you out again.”
“Mm-mm-m-m-mmmh…”
This is domestic abuse! Danna-sama is so mean to me! Buuuhuuuhuu…
Since when are you two married?
I can dream, Harold!
Really…
*wriggle* *wriggle* *wriggle*
“Mhhhhh…”
That was a sigh, by the way.
Thena…why u do this to me?!
I mean, it’s not so much that she tied me up and is carrying me like luggage. No. I get it. I might—might have shown a tendency to wander in monster dens and cause all sorts of troubles in the past few days we’ve been trying to cross this valley of death.
I get it. I really do.
Though, in my defence, I’d like to mention this is not my fault. Truly not. I mean…I’m used to shrugging off lesser dragons, ye know? It’s hard to get used to having less HPs than a common hobgoblin and the endurance of your average two-year-old suffering from nap-withdrawal. It’s really hard, ya know?!
So, no, it doesn’t bother me that Thena is treating me like a cumbersome piece of saucisson. In fact, I’d like to mention that Thena has a true gift for tying people up. A talent that will need to be further discussed and…explored…at a later date.
Where was I going with this?
Ah. Right. So, right now, what really, really bothers me…
“Mmm-mm-mmh!”
It’s the gag, yeah.
I don’t mind being manhandled—No. Wait. I DO mind being manhandled! Or womanhandled? …What is wrong with me?!
Do you want the answer in chronological or alphabetical order?
I want it in the form of a question. Can you do that?
…Everything?
Never mind.
Anyway, point is, I can endure the rough treatment of an alluring woman. I’m sort of used to it. What I mean is: Have you met my best friend’s sister *slash* ex-girlfriend? No? Then you don’t know the definition of “violent woman”.
However, HOW-E-VER, I despise being silenced!
“MMMMMMMMMMMMHHH!!!!!!”
*WRIGGLE!!!!*
“I told you to stay quiet!”
“MH!!” Ow!
……She…She actually hit me!? Wait! Why is my HP bar flashing red?! Hoy! Have you ever heard of the word “restraint”?! You…you…mean person!!
Brilliant. Are you trying to impress toddlers with your big bad words?
I…watched a historical documentary on Donald Trump recently.
This explains that.
But—Ugh!! Grrrrr…This is irritating! I won’t be repressed! I am entitled to proclaiming my opinions! Respect my First Amendment, dammit!!
Isn’t that about Congress law-making?
How would I know? Do I look like a US citizen?
No. You look like the heroine of a Japanese lesbian bondage fantasy hentai.
…is that a thing?
Rule 93 of Elric’s Travel Guide: Nothing is not a thing.
Isn’t that just a basic rule of the internet?
Plus, I’m sure there something like that in Bible Black.
I’m not sure futanari still fully counts as pure lesbian sex…
Wouldn’t that be like a living dildo?
……………Why are we even having this discussion in the first place?
It’s your mind. You tell me.
Ugh.
“You can’t escape your own mind.” Rule—
Rule 20, I know. I wrote those rules, remember?
Only when you do.
Ahhhhhhhhh…
With a muffled sigh, I stop my internal dialogue and look up at our surroundings. More precisely, I look at the group following Thena and me. She is carrying me over her shoulder with my butt facing forwards, so it’s not like I can actually see much else anyway, or go anywhere.
A shame really. Those glowing purple mushrooms over there look really pretty. I’d love to see them up close.
I wonder how they taste…
…
……
………
…mmmh. I think I see what’s the issue here.
Sorry, Thena. I’ll be good now. Please release me?
“Mmm. Mm-mmmm-mmh?”
“Silence.”
Aw…
It’s been a few days already since we’ve left the ruins of Bluerose behind and entered this forest of death. During this time, our initially impressive group has considerably shrunk over the week.
…I plead not guilty.
However, the survivors also grew in strength. Twenty-seven out of the remaining thirty-two goblins are now hobgoblins. They look less like deformed babies and more like very ugly short teenagers. It’s…an improvement? They’re definitely more powerful at least. Faster, better, stronger and all that.
Mia actually became an ogre after bashing the head of a weird plant…moose…thing…She did it with her morning-star. Making marmalade with the remains of the mashed-up creature sounded obvious at the time, but in hindsight, it wasn’t one of my most enlightened ideas.
Though I did gain a level in [Immunity]. Hallucinogenic compounds are considered poisons. I’d forgotten that.
She doesn’t look too bad now—Mia, I mean. A far cry from her humble goblin débuts—if a little too brutish for my tastes.
For the comparison, Thena too is packing muscles, is green, and has cute upwards tusks poking out of her slight under-bite. So they have that in common. But where the semi-orc looks like a well-trained warrior, Ogre Mia has more of a cave-woman style going on. She’s walking hunched, with her legs arched and is carrying her weapon over her shoulder. The beast skin she’s cald in doesn’t help either. I wouldn’t be overly surprised if she clubbed Ru over the head and carried him into a dark corner to…erm…
Fuck.
I was going to say “mate” but, yeah, that’s the idea.
And, speaking of Ru, he’s still a hob. But I think he’s close to ranking up too. Although we’re almost out of the valley, so I guess that’ll have to wait. Monsters on the outskirts are weaker than in the middle area, and our group has now enough power to scare away most of the nearby mobs.
You’ll notice I didn’t mention either Headison or Tazius. Well…that’s because they turned to ashes after defeating the [Cerbetauros]. Apparently, without the curse, they were quickly running out of juice. That cow squeezed what was left out of them. I feel a bit bad I couldn’t give them a proper farewell.
But, I actually didn’t know them that well and, hey…c’est la vie.
Or, in this case, c’est la mort.
I did gather their ashes though, discreetly. They’re in two jars stashed in my Inventory. I doubt I can revive them without their souls—which I clearly felt leaving—but you never know.
My train of thoughts is interrupted suddenly by a hand on my rump. It only stays there for a little longer than necessary however, before moving up my back. I’m rudely pulled by my dress and held up like a kitten in front of two narrowed golden eyes. Of course, I wriggle furiously to manifest my displeasure.
We are not amused!
“If I release you, do you promise to behave?” Thena asks.
Oh? Why didn’t you say so right away?
I immediately stop wriggling and nod eagerly, all anger forgotten.
Thena sighs—as if she was about to do something she knew she would regret. I can’t figure out what, though? She lowers me to the ground and reaches for the gag…only to freeze when it falls on the ground, alongside the rope that was tying me up an instant ago.
I circle her head twice in my bat form, then come back in front of her and shift back. My white dress magically reappears as soon as my body becomes humanoid enough. I address a wide toothy grin at the stunned semi-orc.
Though, Thena being Thena, she quickly recovers. Her opened mouth snaps shut and her expression turns back into her usual scowl. Would it kill her to smile, for a change? I bet she would look great with a smile.
But then, she’s a semi-orc, so that’s open for debate.
“…right. You could do that.”
“Forsooth! Metamorphosis is, of course, part of this one’s arsenal. Be amazed, commoner! Hohohohohoho!!” I laugh while raising a hand to my chin.
There it is! The ojou-sama laugh! I’ve always wanted to try it at least once on someone.
I can’t tell her I was too scared of using that power before and risk pissing her off. I do depend on her for survival, after all. I don’t think she’ll just abandon me…but…Well, she won’t, right?
“……Did your personality…and why didn’t you—No, I’m not even going to ask.” She pinches and massages the bridge of her nose while mumbling something along the lines of “stupid fucking bugged NPC” then she glares at me with those angry eyes of molten gold that do things to my body which a pure and innocent young maiden really shouldn’t think about.
Do you even know the definition of “innocent”?
Dunno. I’m only ever told I’m doing it wrong.
“Are you going to stop laughing like that or do I have to knock you out for an hour or two, seeing as tying you up and gagging you is obviously useless?”
“Hohoho—Ahem.” I cough and brush my dress in mock embarrassment. “Well, not entirely useless. I can change form only at night and it does not last longer than an hour.”
The semi-orc raises an eyebrow at me. “Thank you for the information?”
“Thou art very welcome.”
“Right. So, do you remember where the exit is?”
“Mmmh…Oh.” When I finally take a good look around, I am surprised to discover the huge stone wall that encircles the valley rising not even a few yards away. Are we here already? I’d thought it’d been getting brighter, but I didn’t think we were this close to the edge.
The reason why the outskirts of the forest are brighter than its depth, despite the vegetation not being at all thinner, is because the surface of this cliff is covered by a shimmering rainbow brocade of constantly shifting forms. Like a huuuge magical kaleidoscope. It really is a stupidly powerful magical barrier, though. I remember trying to analyse it back when I was in my previous avatar. The thing almost knocked me out from the backlash.
I quickly stop staring at it. Those moving shapes are making me dizzy.
Or are they? The dizziness doesn’t dissipate even after a few seconds.
Ah. Is it time again already? A glance at my interface confirms it. I’m almost out of fuel.
“Thena…?” I look up with a pleading whine and tug at one of the pieces of her armour.
“What?” She stops her careful observation of the cliff and looks down at me.
“I am thirsty.”
“Again?” She sounds annoyed, but then she almost always do, and I can see another emotion in her eyes, though I can’t really decipher what it is.
I simply nod sheepishly in answer. She sighs, resigned, and after scanning our surroundings and ordering the goblins to set up a security perimeter, she unequips her cursed armour. Underneath, she is wearing a tight, form-fitting padded shirt that highlights her muscles and curves. Not that she has much of the latter. Knowing her, I bet she’s the type who thinks large breasts would get in the way.
Although…from the way she’s been looking at me, I can tell she isn’t averse to large busts—as long as they’re on other girls. Not that I’m huge myself—it still feels weird to say that—but I’m short, so it makes “them” look bigger.
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…Why am I strangely proud of that?
While I scratch my head in confusion, Thena rolls up her left sleeve, revealing a tight bandage around her forearm. She expertly removes it. There is no wound, but I wasn’t expecting any. I step closer, take her arm in my hands—it’s slightly intimidating how her forearm is almost larger than my head.
It’s so big and thick!
…I hate you.
I cast a quick glance up at Thena, my face an inch from her skin. Damn, she smells good. She nods in permission while trying to look nonchalant. I don’t wait any longer and open my mouth large—
Trying to fit as much of it inside…
Stop that.
Eager to taste this sweet warm thick fluid…
WILL YOU SHUT UP?!
I bite down. My fangs, as usual, pierce her hard green skin with surprising ease. Immediately, I feel the first drops of her warm blood on my tongue. I swallow and shake at the sudden rush of pleasure. I can sense Thena shuddering in response, although she maintains her stoic face—willing to hang on her strong, dominant, in-control persona. I have no such qualms. I never saw much point in self-control anyway. I moan openly in delight. Like every time, Thena’s blood tastes like liquid bliss.
I don’t know why the programmers of the game thought fit to add this feature to vampiric feeding, but if I ever met them, I’ll bite them as thanks.
I know I should probably be at least a little disturbed by my own reaction. Despite how I like to act cute in this appearance, I’m a guy after all. I shouldn’t be comfortable with shivering in pleasure like an animal in heat, should I?
But really, what’s the point?
To quote one of my favourite band, “When worry is never helping, tell me why? Why worry at all?” –Set it off.
Indeed, why? It’s not like no one’s there to judge me. That’s the whole point of virtual reality, in fact. A point many seem to miss in their impatience to get stronger, level, and progress in the game. Virtual reality is about letting go of the shackles of real life and just enjoying all the benefits with none of the consequences. It’s eating the cake and still having it afterwards. What’s the worst that could happen? Die? Hah! What are a few levels compared to the rush of free-falling from 10,000 feet of height? Or compared to the pure adrenaline rush of punching a dragon, even if it’s completely useless?
What’s a bit of shame and mental discomfort compared to the sheer ecstasy of drinking the sweetest nectar I ever got my hands on? And it’s free too! What’s more to ask?
Ahhh…So good.
“Alright, that’s enough.”
A large hand grabs me by the collar of my dress. I resist, hiss, claw at the air, and try to keep my hold on the spring of pleasure, but the hand effortlessly pulls me off and then keeps me from rushing back. After a few more seconds of ineffective trashing, I stop struggling, let my shoulders slump, and shoot a sulking pout at the stern semi-orc.
“Stop that.”
I look away with a “humph,” keeping my posture annoyed. But I can’t help the small smile playing on my lips. I lick some blood off my lips and enjoy another small shudder.
When I turn back, Thena is rewrapping the bandage around her arm. The wound isn’t actually anything dangerous for someone with her Vitality. It should fully heal itself in the next ten minutes or so. But she told me she dislikes when blood drips inside her armour.
Which I understand. I just never encountered the problem back when I went around in full-plate. As a pseudo-paladin with bad spending habits, I always had either a healing spell or a health potion on the ready, no matter how benign the scratch. You may call me a wimp, but when you were once infected by sentient bacteria, you don’t take any chances.
Never mind that those bacteria are only found in the Swamps of Tres’sal.
Like I always say, “Expect the unexpected”.
That’s rule 94 by the way.
In armour once again, Thena calls back the goblins with a whistle. The ones who weren’t on watch duty are already close by and staring at us with slightly crazed eyes while sniffing the air. No need to guess why. Loincloths don’t hide much and this game doesn’t shy from adult content. Even Mia is shifting uncomfortably, but her gaze is instead moving towards Ry. She is also unconsciously stroking the wooden club she uses as a secondary weapon.
Run, Ru. Run.
I would be slightly concerned at being encircled by horny goblins given my current strength—or lack thereof—but on several occasions, I heard them calling me “Gran Oroks na mata”, which I believe translates as “the Great Orc’s mate”. Since they apparently worship Thena, or something, then as long as they consider me her woman, I should be safe from these guys.
How do I feel at being considered someone’s woman?
…err…
Ask me again when that fact isn’t shielding me from rape. I should be less biased then.
But so far, I don’t really mind. It’s not surprising. At least, I am not surprised. I might have mentioned it before, but I don’t have one macho bone in my body. I have absolutely no reluctance against giving up the metaphorical pants in a relationship…or not-so-metaphorically, I suppose. I give my current virtual body a wry smile.
It’s also too soon to say Thena and I are in a relationship.
Do I even want it to become a relationship?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
I wouldn’t mind, but I guess it’ll depend on how she reacts when she catches onto the fact I’m not an NPC.
Food for thoughts.
“Vicky. That exit?”
“Ah! Right, err…” Slightly startled, I jump then look around. I think we’re at the right place, but honestly, I wouldn’t really know. There’s no sun or stars here to use for directions and compasses are going awhirl. Since the beginning, I’ve been directing us towards where I thought I’d come from when I reached the castle months ago—game time—but I could be wrong.
There’s also the small fact that I didn’t exactly take the official path back then. The exit is a small tunnel in the rock cliff near the top, and there should be a narrow path going up the wall but…I don’t know where that path ends, or starts, depending on the perspective. Last time, I…kind off…jumped…
Okay. I fell off the cliff.
It happens to the best of us.
I scan the multi-coloured barrier, looking for the small cave-like opening in the stone beyond.
The bright ever-changing shapes continue to make me slightly sick, but it’s far less bothersome now that I’ve fed. I don’t know if it’s because of her Soulbond Servant class, but Thena’s blood also boosts my abilities for a short while after I’ve drunk it. It only works if I drink it straight from the source, though. We ran tests.
It’s one thing I found Thena and I have in common—sort of. I like experimenting with new stuff, and she dislikes not understanding stuff. The main difference is that I get bored faster.
We also ran other tests. At least we’d started too. But after giving some of my blood to a goblin and having to subdue the suddenly berserker little fellow, we decided to stop doing potentially harmful experiments in the middle of a forest where everything was already trying to kill us.
A wise decision, if I may say so myself.
There.
What?
A little to the left…no, higher…higher…there.
Oh! Good job, me!
It’s the peripheral vision. You always forget it.
Well, that’s why I have you, isn’t it?
I squint at the tiny, tiny black dot I can see up high through the translucent flashy barrier. Without my enhanced vampiric sight, there was just no way I’d have spotted that thing. Senses are a bit weird in this game. There are many theories about what combination of stats influences them exactly. The main theory is that it’s a mix of Strength and Agility, combined as sort of a secret constitution value…or something. Other say Intellect play a part in interpreting the sensory information.
I don’t really care. Plus, I have the addition stat Perception, so there’s that.
Like I said, I have no idea how these stats work beyond the basic. I’ve always just sort of raised all of them as much as I could and always managed to get by.
I bet Thena would know though. She seems like the kind of gal who plans her stat growth levels in advance.
Well, I’m not about to ask her about stats, so let’s drop that line of thoughts.
“There.” I point the black spot at Thena. She squints but doesn’t seem to see anything. I can see she’s displeased.
“How are we supposed to get up there?”
“There is a path which goes down the cliff. This way.”
I start walking decisively with the wall to my right.
…
……
………
I have no idea if it’s the right direction. But I have 50% chances of being right, so…Ah. We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.
* * *
I was right! Mwahahahaha! Praise this one!
Yeah, yeah, you’re great. Happy?
Why don’t I feel any sincerity from you?
Shouldn’t you be glad you aren’t falling too deeply into egocentrism?
“That’s the path?”
I turn to Thena.
“It is.”
There’s little doubt about it. It’s a path and it goes up the otherwise smooth wall in direction of the entrance/exit. It had taken us another two hours to find where it began. The path was made even harder to spot by the shimmering barrier that covers the stone like a painted layer, making it almost imposible to distinguish any sort of protrusion out of the cliff.
Thena stares at the path with a frown. Well, she’s always frowning, but I’ve started to decode different types of frowns. This is her pensive frown. I can get why she’d make that expression. The walkway is really narrow and, well, she’s…not. She’ll have to walk sideways with her back against the cliff the whole way up. And that’s one long trip up.
“Doth thou suffer from fear of height?”
“What? No!” She glares at me. One could think she’s trying to cover up her fear. I believe she’s just pissed I even suggested she could be afraid of anything. She claps her hands. “Alright, let’s go. Princess, you go first. Don’t move too far away from me. I’ll catch you if you fall.”
I know she’s probably just thinking of her quest, but I can’t help but smile warmly when I nod.
I’m about to start moving when a yelp of pain catches both our attentions. We look away from the path and towards a goblin, not one of the hobs, who is trashing on the ground while clasping his hands between his tights and howling like a pig being slaughtered. As usual, Thena is swift in dealing with the problem—in this case, noise. In one leap, she’s by the goblin and punches him into unconsciousness.
A tense silence falls on the group as everyone eyes the surrounding trees with wariness.
After ten minutes without any monsters rushing out to eviscerate all of us, Thena finally relaxes. The goblins are always stressed out, so they don’t really change. Me? I’ve been relaxed from the beginning. Seriously, these people need to chill out.
Thena reaches down for the unconscious goblin and carelessly yanks his hand from between his legs. Or what remains of his hand. In its place is now a mess of deformed charcoal. A collective gulp echoes from the rest of the tribe. Goblin healthcare isn’t really a thing. A crippled goblin is a dead goblin. In fact, in goblin culture, the heavily wounded are usually put out of their misery to serve as food for the tribe. No use feeding a useless mouth, and no use wasting good meat.
Very efficient, if you ask me.
I’m not asking you.
“What happened?” I have an idea, but I still voice the question out loud.
Instead of answering, Thena unceremoniously grabs the goblin and throws him against the glowing wall. No sooner do we hear the sound of flesh against stone, it is replaced by the sound of sizzling flesh. Multi-coloured flames erupt all over the green body, devouring the goblin. He’s dead before he can even be woken up by the pain.
““……””
The tribe and I look at the charred remains, them with horror, me with a raised eyebrow. Ironically, my raised eyebrow is aimed at Thena’s actions, while the goblins are likely worried about the danger to themselves. Compassion isn’t something goblins are well-known for and that goblin had already been as good as dead. They’re probably more upset at the wasted food. By any standards of cuisine, this guy is waaaaay overcooked.
“It’s a barrier.”
Aaaaaand Thena the Semi-Orc gains the title Captain Obvious! Bravo! *clap-clap-clap* Any other comment, Miss Thena? Tell us, do people really die when they are killed?
I sigh. “I dreaded this might be the case.”
“Wha—What the hell are you doing?!”
Thena had started asking me something while turning my way, but she suddenly starts growling angrily. Anger really is her default response to anything, isn’t it?
*sigh*
Chill out, girl.
Well, I guess it’s probably because I’m currently leaning casually against the barrier of death.
It tickles.
“Calm your voice, Thena. This barrier is keyed to my bloodline.” That’s the only logical explanation I can come up with. This whole valley used to be the Sangbleus’ royal hideaway—their Batcave, so to speak. I also remember that the old man who’d first show me the way in had used a red crystal to open the barrier. Back then I didn’t really pay attention—I had other things in mind—but with my recent experimentations with crystallizing my own blood, I now noticed similarities between the two.
“Why didn’t you say so before?” She narrows her eyes, anger simmering inside.
“I was not sure this was the case,” I answer with a shrug.
“And when did you become sure?”
“This very instant, when I touched it and did not combust into flames.” I don’t know if it’s my words or my smile, but Thena is staring at me like she thinks I’m insane.
Hahaha. What a silly notion.
“You’re insane.”
Hoy.
A bit miffed, I shrug and start walking up the path. I’m still barefoot, but the barrier-coated stone under my feet causes me nothing but a warm tingle. A dozen steps in, I stop and turn around to raise an eyebrow at the frozen semi-orc.
“So, art thou coming? Who was supposed to catch me if I fell, as I recall?”
She clicks her tongue. Exasperated. She waves at the cliff. “You—Ugh. Unlike you, I’m not immune to this.”
“Meh. Thou shall be fine. Thine soul is tethered to mine. This barrier shall not hurt you.”
“That’s just a supposition.”
I shrug. She’s right. I have no real proof she won’t become the next Torch as soon as she touches the Rainbow Barrier of Death. But something in my guts tells me she’ll be alright. My instincts have rarely driven me astray…when I bother to listen to them. I’ve got a theory that instinct is just your subconscious piecing together clues your sentient mind simply hasn’t figured out yet. For example, my unique class is called “BloodSoul”. This has to amount to something.
And, also, my subconscious has been know to be very active.
“Well…I am not forcing thee. I, for one, am leaving this place. I would prefer for thou to accompany me, but ‘tis thine decision, and thine only.” I could try to persuade her, but that’d just take too much time. Now that the exit is within reach, the almost zen-like patience I’ve developed in the past few months is crumbling fast. I prefer to go with a good old-fashioned ultimatum.
I’m reasonably sure she has some kind of quest to escort me out and I’ve already climbed high enough to be out of reach. Her only option is to risk it, really. She just has to come to that conclusion. And I can see to her expression that she has.
Still, she’s a good tactician and tries one last attempt at getting me to come back down.
“What about the goblins?”
Says the person who just threw an unconscious one against a killing force field?
But I get it. She knew as well as me that the little guy’s life was already forfeited…I think.
My gaze moves to the green midgets—and one ogre—standing nearby. Mia and Ru are deep in conversation with one another. The female ogre suddenly looks up and meets my gaze briefly before returning to her conversation. She and Ru are both smart for their kind. During the journey across the valley, I’ve already talked to them. The only reason they even accompanied us this far is because of the racial devotion they felt towards the orc race.
I look back at Thena. “They will be staying here. They became strong enough to survive on the outskirts of the forest. Here they can hunt, grow stronger. Outside…” I shrug helplessly. “Well, last time I was out there, the country was overrun with the undead. Not the best of hunting grounds, thou will agree, yay?”
I see Thena pale a bit. “How overrun are were talking about?”
My answer is delayed by the goblin tribe gathering to leave. Ru and Mia barely nod at me and bow deeply to Thena before ordering their whole extended family to march back into the woods. It might feel a bit rushed to a human, but there is no word for “goodbye” in goblin tongue. Or, there is, actually, but it is the same word as “death”.
It’s true they’re very practical little people.
I watch until they disappear, then look back at Thena to answer her question.
“Oh, but the dead are everywhere, of course.” I smile, trying to appear innocent but failing miserably. I can’t help it. Her expression is just too precious, and I’m having way too much fun. “It is not called the Cursed Fallen Kingdom of Erwyn for nothing, after all.”
I let a pregnant pause hang between the two of us, my eyes boring into hers, before twirling around and starting walking up again. I throw a few more words over my shoulder without looking back. “So, are thou coming, O my fearless black knight? Or will thou let this fragile princess face the hordes of the undead alone?”
For a couple seconds, there is only silence behind me. Silence, and the distant echo of the never-ending thunder and lightning rumbling above the Valley of Nowhere.
“Aaaaaah!! Damn you, you demented bitch! If I die, I’m finding my way back here and cut your head off. Crazy gods or no crazy gods!” That declaration, which puts on a crazed smile on my lips, is quickly followed by the sound of loud metal boots pounding on stone. And, as planned…expected…supposed…luckily…no scream of pain or roar of fire is added to that sound.
I stop and turn around, as the pounding turns to a softer scrapping when Thena is forced to start carefully moving sideways. Letting out a crystalline laugh at how uncomfortable she looks—I really have a nice voice, it surprises me sometimes—I walk a few steps back down and lean against the wall to look at her.
“Thou should remove this cumbersome armour. There is no flying beast which comes this close to the outer wall, and any which might you shall see coming from far away.”
She glares at me briefly, before her gears suddenly shift to a cloth shirt and pants. She doesn’t look happy at being out of her tank uniform, but at least she also doesn’t look like a tightrope-walking crab anymore.
She quickly catches up, then stops, and for a moment, we are staring into each other eyes. Red eyes circled with blue—mine—sparkling with—I believe—mischief. And two irises of molten gold burning with fiery anger. I wonder what happened to her that she’s so angry all the time. It’s sad. Life is meant to be enjoyed.
Eventually, she sighs loudly through gritted teeth—tusks(?)—and roll her eyes with obvious annoyance. “What ‘fragile princess facing the undead alone’? Aren’t you a blood-sucking corpse yourself?”
It’s my turn to scoff and make a face of mock outrage. “Why, but that was unbelievingly rude of thee! Whoever calls a lovely maiden a corpse?”
“Whoever calls herself a ‘lovely’ maiden?”
“Humph! This one!”
“Right…”
“And I shall have to correct you that I am only half-dead.”
“Right.”
“As long as thou understand.”
With as much haughtiness as I can muster, I spin around, slapping her stomach with my long white hair, and start walking up the long path upwards to freedom with elegance and determination.
* * *
About fifteen minutes later, I’m on my knees, panting, in pain, and trying not to pass out. I can almost physically feel Thena’s judgemental stare piercing through my back.
When I finally catch my breath, I look over my shoulder at the silhouette towering over me.
“Err…Thena?”
“Yes?”
“I have grown bored of walking. Carry me.”
“………”
“Alright! I confess. I might be very slightly out of shape. I require assistance.”
“………”
“…I cannot do it. I’m too weak. Help me…please?”
Thena’s lips don’t curve even slightly upwards, but I’m sure I saw the faintest hint of laughter fleetingly appear in those furious golden eyes. At last, she reaches down and pulls me up.
“Now that’s better. There’s hope still to make you into a decent hu…half-human being.”
“Bastard woman.”
“From you, I’ll take that as a compliment.” How she can delivers such line seriously is beyond me. But she does.
“Thou will not get away with—Hooo!!”
Without warning, that dumb green idiot sweeps me up. I am powerless to resist and end up being held in Princess Carry…above several dozen feet of cliff.
“IIIIIIH!!”
…
……
………I shall forever deny ever making that sound.
“Afraid of heights?”
Using my words against me, I see. How shrewed.
“No way,” I grumble. And it’s true. I’m not. But there’s a distinct difference between standing at the edge of a precipice yourself and being held by someone else above the void. Especially someone smirking smugly at you.
Okay. Thena isn’t smirking. I’m beginning to doubt her lips have the physical ability to bend upwards. But she definitely looks smug…ish.
“Thou better not drop me.”
“Can’t you just turn into a bat if I do?”
“It is hard to fly because of the wind,” I grumbled again. “Just don’t.” We can’t feel it plastered as we are against the rock, but as soon as we move a little further away, the effects of the thunderstorm above can be felt very clearly. It’s not as bad now that we’re still below canopy level, but above the trees, I remember the wind being terrible.
That’s coming from someone who crash-landed in the valley using a homemade hang-glider.
“What? You don’t trust me?”
I look up to glare at her, but her usual stern stoicism, especially up-close like this, shuts me up.
She starts walking again. Mumbling discontent to myself, I put my arms around her neck and lean against her chest. This shouldn’t feel so comfortable.
“Scoundrel.”
“Whatever you say, Princess.”
“Rogue.”
“If you say so.”
“Villain.”
“I could let you walk, you know?”
“…Butt fondler.”
“………”
* * * * *