Chapter 9: Bluerose Castle

~ Part 3: (This story is heading in a strange direction) ~

The next thirty-ish hours proved difficult.

Even before reaching this accursed castle, my endurance had already been strained by three days of near perpetual life and death struggle without sleep as I crossed the valley of [Nowhere]. My *cough*battle*cough* against the goblins was mostly fuelled by the remnants of the adrenaline from being chased by Cerberus and the Minotaur’s unholy offspring. The skeletons and especially the zombies, completely drained those remnants.

I didn’t rest in the next room. In fact, there was no “next room”, just a big hole in the ground. I think the floor collapsed, and it was so dark I didn’t spy it until I was already halfway down to the tunnels below the fortress.

And if you think undead stink, wait until you visit undead-filled sewers. Granted, after several centuries of Bluerose being abandoned, all the wastes in these sewers had already long since decomposed. So I wasn't actually walking through excrements. But stagnant water really doesn’t need any human waste to be smelly and disgusting. And, like I said, the presence of undead didn’t help. Zombies tend to make everything worse whenever they step out of pop-culture.

I won’t mention all the traps. Or the fact the underground of Bluerose was an unhallowed labyrinth. The local underfed fauna was already a pain enough to deal with.

Well, I complain, but this is actually what I was hoping for, a great, challenging dungeon. I just wished I had challenged it in a state other than “terminal fatigue”. I used an alchemical pill to alleviate my plundering stamina, but then I had to deal with the side-effects on top of everything else. My [Immunity] helped, marginally, but it still felt like my blood vessels were filled with magma flowing backwards, scorching my organs and melting my brain.  Calling it unpleasant would be quite the understatement. I only ever resort to those pills when I’m determined to succeed whatever it takes and in a short amount of time. As for ingesting several pills over a short period of time, I believe only a deranged, self-destructive masochist would do it…which I’m not.

Let us be clear on that.

Well, in the end, after narrowly escaping the acid breath of a [Corrosive Decaying Salamander], I collapsed in the stagnant waters of a deserted branch of the sewers. I stayed there, unable to move, for more than an hour before my body stopped uncontrollably shaking and the pain eventually fell back into the realm of bearable. Miraculously, no foe bigger than a [Common Leech]—albeit a few hundreds of them—had found me in my improvised hiding-cum-resting spot. In doubt, I had again addressed a fast prayer to the God of Chaos, which might or might not have helped.

Now I’m finally out of this darn cesspit, sitting against a wall at the end of an empty hallway. Next to me is another hole in the floor from which I just came out. Softly cursing, I remove my metal boots and empty them of putrid water and burned leeches. A quick holy spell dries the inside of the footwear—U mad, templars?—and I’m once again ready for action…after a nap.

* * *

Later, after a well-deserved but unfortunately short nap and a few more hallways…

The ancient wooden panel creaks open on its rusted hinges, slowly revealing a long corridor shrouded in darkness, its distant end indiscernible in the thick shadows. Wary of surprise attacks and traps, I slowly step inside, keeping up the best guard I can and carefully surveying my obscure surroundings in the feeble light of my [Lantern of the Selfish One].

*woosh*

However, as soon as I cross the threshold of the door, a pair of torches suddenly lights up to my left and right. Their ghastly green flames flicker and flinch and struggle against the obscurity. Two others join them a heartbeat later, a little further down the hall. The phenomenon rapidly progresses along the walls, filling the hallway with an eerie dim glow. Then the door slams shut behind me with a resounding creak.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“Err…clap clap clap?” Such cliché. Much gloom. So spook. Wow.

I’m impressed.

Banishing the now useless Kokiri fairy, I take a better look around.

The walls and ceiling are made of the same dark grey stone which most of the keep is built of. Red and blue tiles cover the floor. They compose an intricate but sadly trashed mosaic, although I can guess what it’s supposed to represent. I’ve seen the same cobalt flower to a backdrop of ruby blood a couple times elsewhere in the castle. I guess it makes sense. The place is called “Bluerose” after all.

At a regular interval, tattered tapestries weaved of forgotten feats and rotten portraits depicting long-dead royals hang loosely in-between shattered statues of unrecognisable past heroes. Such decadent epic. Much poetic.

At the extremity of this sadly disgraced hall of fame, two dreadful armours stand immobile in front of a huge black metal gate. One of the two is bulky, crude and oppressive. A weighty morning-star rests on its metal shoulder. The other looks comparatively shorter—though still as tall as me—and is exuding a cold aura of power and sharpness. At his waists is strapped a black sword with a grim appearance. To make matters worse, both armours are headless and both hold their helmeted livid visages under their left arm.

[Dullahans]. Two of them. Is it Christmas already? And they look high level at that. Hehehe. I’m not in condition for this. Napping in-game is all well and good to recover [Stamina] and [Health], but real mental fatigue still accumulates.

I briefly entertain the idea of just sitting here and resting for a while, but I greatly doubt the two higher undead down the hall would nicely let me be. All my hopes of remaining unnoticed were already crushed by the unoriginal light show that indiscreetly announced my arrival.

My supposition is confirmed a second later when the bigger [Dullahan] lets out a baleful wail and starts stomping heavily in my direction. Each step scatters pieces of tiles and the monster aggressively swings its spiked mace around, incidentally reducing a neighbouring bust to rubbles.

Hey. He’s about as subtle as you.

Shut up, will you?

I quickly check the door behind me. It’s locked as I feared. I’d rather not be cornered between that giant and the door, so I gather all my strength and leap forwards, blade raised to engage the undead bulldozer.

In those situations where retreat is impossible, the first thing to do is always to steal the initiative, especially when outnumbered. I know my chances of fending off a joint attack by the two monsters wouldn’t be all that great, but I believe I can manage in one-on-one. So I need to take the first one quickly before the second has time to join the fray.

However, before I can reach the armoured, headless, and slow-paced mace-wielding hulk, a shadow rushes past the giant undead. A gust of wind brushes my face at the same time as I hear a soft metallic hiss. I stop my charge and barely manage to shift my sword to a guarding stance. The sonic slash collides with my weapon in a burst of sparks. My whole abused body groan in protest.

Then I lose contact with the ground.

My eyes widened when the slimmer [Dullahan] suddenly materialises in front of me. A blink before, the monster was standing by the black gate, showing no intention of moving. That guy’s stupidly fast.

*BAM*

I crash back first into the stone wall and all the air in my lungs flies out. Mirroring the [Lesser Zombie] I defeated earlier today, I slide to the ground where I stay unmoving, unable to catch my breath.

As try to get my bearings back, the undead swordsman calmly walks up to me. Pressing the tip of his sword against my throat, it lifts my chins up. It raises its own detached head and my glazed eyes meet the two iridescent blood-red embers that dwell deep within his black helmet.

Then, the head spoke.

“Hohohoho! Not bad, kid. Taking my strike head on like th’head. You’re good, I'll give you th’head. Oh. Sorry about the wall thing. Hohohoho! Really. I want’head to g’head some exercise, but it’s been such a long time since I fought head’nyone other than Tazius…and th’head big empty-headed idiot is rather tough. Hohohoho! He’s even worse at controlling his strength than me. He’s a bit of a meathead, you see. Hohohoho! If I head’n’t stopped you, he would head’ve shortened you by a few heads by now. Hohohoho! But, are you trying to get through th’head door? Sorry. Can’t l’head you do th’head. Hohohoho! But you know, you really don’t want to head inside th’head tower, trust me. Hohohoho! Why not calmly sit down head talk about it? Head to head. Hohohoho! Oh! The name’s Headison by the way.”

…

……

………what?

“Chaos, what have you done?” I whisper in disbelief.

*ting*

Chaos the Defendant: Please refer to my lawyer…

*ting*

Maître Random: My client is INNOCENT!

...

OBJECTION!!!

* * * * *