Author’s note: It has come to my understanding that maybe this story – or lack thereof – was going a little too off tangent. I’ll try to refocus it to the best of my abilities. Though I would like to point out the pace probably won’t go much faster. I like slow paced stories…

Well… I agree that the whole third chapter was exceptionally slow. I do apologise for that. Would you believe me it I told you I had already cut a lot of text before posting it? Probably not. I wouldn’t believe myself… It’s true though.

Anway. I want to thank Wolfsnow for their constructive review. I’ve read it and shall take those points into consideration. They kind of aligned with my own worries anyway… Same thanks to Growl. Nice pseudo btw.

And here’s a nice little song everyone will probably recognise.

Spoiler :

That’s it. So, please, read, enjoy(?), rate, and maybe review too?

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Chapter 4: Beyond the Mist

~ Part 1: A Warm Welcome ~

I’m currently walking blindly in the middle of a tunnel of fog…

Well, at least, I hope I am in the middle of a tunnel of fog. Otherwise this would be really pointless. I really hate pointless things. It’s true! Everything I do always has a point, even if it’s only my own entertainment.

Pointless actions are just a waste of time, and in my opinion, time is the one thing that has any real value, because after all it is the only thing you can truly never get back.

That’s why, I really, really hope what I’m currently doing will work.

My reasoning is as follows.

I have no real way of protecting myself from the Soul Magic. At most, [Soul Defence] allows me to be distantly aware that I’m under a spell. I know that it is currently affecting me, altering my perception of my surroundings in a way that forces me to lose my way and retrace my steps. I just can’t prevent it.

So, obviously, I just need to go exactly in the opposite direction from where my senses tell me to go! Obviously.

As expected, simple is best.

And thus, slowly pacing in total darkness, voicelessly humming “Rise of the Black Raven”, I wilfully ignore the feeling of stone under my feet, the moisture against my skin, or the sound of fallen branches I’m supposedly stamping over. I turn left when right felt right, and go right when left right felt.

I just hope we’re not walking right into a caustic river of souls.

Shhhhush. I’m unfocusing.

* * *

After what feels like hours, I am suddenly startled by a very nostalgic sensation: the warmth of the Sun, permeating through my metal plating.

I stop my steps.

Without opening my eyes, I deliberate on what to do. The entire sky of Erwyn – the Erwyn I know – is supposed to be constantly covered in clouds. It has been that way for centuries. However, as a Solar Knight, I can tell this sunlight is the real deal. This contradiction fills my mind with doubts.

I stand there, pondering, unmoving, for several minutes, until my patience runs out. I am about to open my eyes – prudence be damned – when…

*fa-thud*

…the sound of something heavy hitting the ground startles me.

I reflexively spin around, eyes wide, in search for the source of the noise, and my guard up, expecting a monster attack. In passing, I note that I am indeed in an immense sunny clearing surrounded by the foggy woods, and I’m still standing on the lemon road.

SUCCESSSSSSS!!!

My mental elation doesn’t show on my expression however, as I’m currently prepared to receive a blow… which never comes.

Completing my turn, my surprise doubles when I suddenly come face to face with a sturdy thirty-something woman in villager garb. A living sturdy thirty-something woman in villager garb. At least she’s alive as far as I can tell. Her chest… Mmmmh…

Nice…

Yeah. What a pai– Ahem! I mean! Her breasts… chest shows clear signs of breathing. Her white shirt distends…

…deliciously…

Quiet!

Her shirt distends with each of her sharp inhalations. …A bit too sharp actually. I think she’s hyperventilating.

Ho. That might be bad.

All perverse thoughts fading, I raise my eyes to her face. She looks human, in a very non-undead kind of way, which is much appreciated. Her brown hair are gathered in a tight bun covered in a small headscarf, from which escape a few wild strands framing her face. Faint wrinkles accentuate the contours of her features.

Her traits, no doubt pleasant to the eye in other circumstances, are currently frozen in an expression of mute terror. Her hands are covering her mouth. She is staring at something in visible shock.

At her feet, a wicker basket finishes spilling its apples. Likely the source of the loud thud. Behind her spreads an apple orchard. I can relatively easily put together the succession of event that has led to the present situation.

And, by the might of my awesome powers of deduction, I conjecture that this “something” she is staring at in horror… well… It’s me, isn’t it? Elementary really. Though I feel slightly insulted, I don’t react. Because I’m a gentleman. And I’m used to it.

…That’s sad.

Shush.

However, since the silence is beginning to feel awkward, I decide to break it.

“Errr… Hi?”

How eloquent.

So what? I’m not that great at socialising, plus I’m out of practice. Cut me some slack.

“…”

Seeing as my greeting isn’t eliciting any reaction from the other party, I try again to greet her.

“Hell– …Ooo-kaaaaay?”

Midway through my – tentative – salutations, the woman turns on her heels and… runs away.

Leaving her apples behind, I might add.

How strange. This usually doesn’t happen in places I’ve never been before.

Shaking my head, I pick up the basket and start gathering the fruits as my gaze trails after the woman. Her fast shrinking silhouette is running along the yellow brick road, around a decently-sized lake, in direction of a wooden-fenced hamlet at the other distant extremity of the clearing. To my surprise, she’s almost reached the gates already.

Damn. She’s fast…

My attention is quickly stolen however, by the huge, colossal, enormous emerald-coloured mountain that the small village is leaning against. Despite myself, I feel my jaw drop. O Gods. If that thing is what I think it is…

Haha. I swallow back the drool that threatens to wet my chin. Alright. Calm down. Don’t put the cart before the wyverns, Elric. I’ll have to examine the rock before starting to make plans. But if I’m right…

Hehehe…

Hehehehehe…

Hehehehehehehehe…

Hehehehehehehehehehehe–

Okay. That’s enough.

The mountain is flat-topped, as far as I can judge from here. Its sides are impossibly steep, almost completely vertical. In fact, it’s less of a normal mountain and more of a mesa, I think.

It looks a bit low, but that’s an illusion caused by how wide it is in comparison. In truth, the hulking green mass dwarfs the giant trees around it, even though some of those could have given the elves’ Sacred Tree a run for its money… back when the elves had a… sacred… tree.

Hehe–

Ah. I’m drooling again.

With effort, I rip my eyes from the shining emerald enormity and gaze at the rest of the clearing.

The old tri-centenarian forest, filled with dense fog, encircles the clearing in a perfect circle. Highly unnatural. Probably man-made. But I’m way past getting surprised by landscaping, even on this scale.

To my right stands the apple orchard. The trees here are much smaller. They spread from the road all the way to the lake I already mentioned, which occupies about a quarter of the clearing.

The lake itself is beautiful. Vast and still, it mirrors its surroundings like a portal to an inverted world. The faintest of breezes is causing small ripples on the surface. Birds are flocking around its shores, sometimes landing on the turquoise waters, sometimes diving down and reappearing with a fish in their beak.

The yellow brick road draws a soft curve around the body of water. At one points, it hops over a small bridge spanning a narrow river, which flows out of the lake and splits into many streams out to irrigate a handful of scattered small fields.

Herds of… goats, I think, are moving around the fields, grazing the lush green grass that carpets the ground wherever it is left uncultivated. A few trees grow here and there, providing some shadow from the midday sun. I also spot some cute animals, like fox and bunnies. But no undead whatsoever.

Road aside, I see only a couple man-made buildings outside of the village itself. Large wooden sheds. I guess warehouses, or maybe barns of sorts. There is also a pier extending into the lake, to which are fastened three small barques.

Setting the now full basket of apples to the ground, I spread my arms and take a long, deep breath of fresh air. The enchantments on my helmet might filter smell, poisons and the likes, but nothing rivals true, clean refreshing purity.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

The smell of healthy grass, of earth, of thriving nature, of life… You don’t know how much you missed it until you find it again.

I’m not talking solely about the rot-filled atmosphere of Erwyn. Living in a large city in “Real Life”, pollution is something I’ve grown accustomed to like most of mankind. I barely even register it anymore, except at times like these, when unsullied nature just about slaps you in the face. It’s that much of a shock.

The diffuse warmth of the sun, which I haven’t felt in months, is a true bliss too. I have raised the visor of my helm to fully enjoy it. Maybe it’s due in part to my class as the Solar Knight, but I can feel my exhaustion pouring out of me and my previously exhausted power coming back like a sugar rush. It’s so exhilarating, I am struggling against an urge to run around and start doing cartwheels in the grass.

But I’m refraining myself. I should go and properly greet those villagers first, to offset any future misunderstandings. Those are troublesome, and a waste of time.

That said, I’m not overly concerned with the woman’s reaction. When travelling the Wild, I often came across secluded villages, similar to this one, whose residents are ill-disposed towards outsiders. The secret to dealing with them is to remember not to counter-attack too earnestly when they bring out the pitchforks.

*grumble*

I glance down at my stomach.

And, yes, I’m still hungry. So the cartwheeling session will have to wait. I’m putting up a mental Post-it though.

With a soft sigh, I pick up the basket and start walking along the road at an unhurried pace, soaking in the ambient peace. I fish out an apple, which I then bite into. The flesh breaks under my teeth and sweet juice pours in my mouth. My eyes flutter shut for an instant.

This… is heaven. Not only air pollution, but modern Earth has also lost much in terms of food quality. You don’t get to taste apples like that in the real world.

What a wonderful place.

“Hey, moron!”

…uh?

I stop in my tracks and scan my surroundings, but I can’t spot the origin of the rude shout. There is no one in the vicinity, save for a cute little rabbit by the side of the road.

“Yeah! I’m talking to you, buttface! Stop smiling like a retard and gimme those apples!”

I blink and shake my head. The hunger must be getting to me. For an instant I thought I heard that rabbit talk.

“Fuck. Are you brain-dead or just an idiot? Stop staring at me like a dumb goat! APPLES!! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Careful, I have mighty claws and shaaarp teeth. Grrrrr!!”

The little fluff ball scratches at the air and opens its maw, letting out a high-pitched shriek.

It is the rabbit!

I am astounded.

“You heard me, you short-eared bipedal freak! Now hand over the fruit if you don’t want me and my 523 cousins to beat the crap out of you!”

“Err… is this a robbery?”

“This is a robbery!”

It is!!!

I am still trying to process being “threathened” by a rabbit bandit, when another much larger critter, the size of a small cat, jumps out of a nearby hole I didn’t noticed.

“ROGER!!”

I put up a stance, ready to defend my apples, but the newcomer ignores me. On the other hand, the first rabbit – Roger (?) – visibly shrinks back.

“Ah! …Mom. I…”

“Are you harassing a human again?”

“What? No! I… no… We… We were just playing, right?” Roger casts a mean glare at me, as if implying I better back up his story. “Riiiigh?” he repeats, and takes a… threatening? … step in my direction.

Even if you do that…

“Roger! Stop lying! You know humans can’t understand us!”

I can though… somehow. I thought maybe this was a peculiarity of the area, but I guess not. Better remain silent then.

“But Mom–”

“There’s no ‘But Mom’!! Go back to your burrow and count your siblings!”

“But–”

“ROGER!!”

Damn. She reminds me of my Mom.

There is indeed a certain likeness.

Oh. Hi. Where were you?

Enjoying the scenery. I can be quiet, you know?

I guess…

Roger finally yield to his mom and dejectedly hops away and into the rabbit hole.

Should we follow him to Wonderland?

I preferred when you were silent.

Shaking her head, Mamma Rabbit mumbles something like: “What am I going to do with him?” Then she turns towards me and execute what I can only describe as a rabbit bow. Though essentially she’s just leaning forwards with dropping hears.

“I’m sorry about my son’s behaviour. I know you can’t understand me, but I still want to apologise.”

“Oh. No, no. It’s fine. Just kids being kids. No harm done,” I reply by reflex.

*grrrrrowl*

Then my stomach reminds itself to me again, calling out for a consistent meal and urging me towards the village. With another bite into the apple, I resume walking down the yellow road, leaving behind a jaw-dropped doe.

So… I speak Rabbit now? How did that happen?

Well… I’ve got a theory… but…

But what?

I’d like another sample to be sure. Preferably not bunnies.

As if on cue, a goat choses that moment to drift in our direction.

“Aaaaaapple!” she bleats.

I’m a little more prepared since it’s the second time already.

“…is this a robbery again?”

“Aaaaaapple. Pleeeeeease?”

What a polite goat.

“Here.”

I fetch another fruit from the basket and throw it too the animal, who catches it in her mouth. Those apples aren’t mine, so this is technically theft, but I don’t mind it too much. I’m sure I’ll be able to repay the villagers one way of another.

“Haaank uuuuu,” bleats the goat around the apple, barely intelligibly.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Shooooooowy.”

Then she walks away.

This goat was uselessly well-mannered.

Yes. But it confirms my theory.

Which is?

You remember that weird world, with the pink girl in the pink room.

I’d rather forget…

Well, remember the weird owl?

Yes… but I don’t– AH!!

The repressed memory finally hits me.

“Command. Open Skill List.”

A blue window pops into existence before my eyes, filled with skill names that range from the typical [Riding] to the absurd [Watermelon Sculpting].

“…Watermelon.”

*shivers*

I scroll down the list, letting out an occasional exclamation or groan whenever I spot a skill I forgot the existence of, and ultimately find the one I’d been searching for.

“Command. Detail skill [Universanimal Language].”

Universanimal Language Category: Divine Skill Level: N/A

The ancestral power, rivalling that of the gods of Nature, to communicate without barrier with each and every animal species, providing they have the intellect and physical attribute necessary to speech.

Cannot be turned off.

It’s as I expected.

So that means I’ll be able to understand all animals?

Seems like it.

All the time?

Yep.

And they’ll be able to understand me?

It’s what’s written.

…

……

………

This is a catastrophe!!

At that moment, I have already reached the lake, and two birds fly above my head, discussing loudly.

“…she did whaaaat?!”

“And with half the flock.”

“Oh my GOSH!! What a whore!”

“Totally!”

I look up and stare at the duo already gliding away. I can feel a vein pulsing on my forehead and the corner of my left eye twitching.

…

……

………

GIVE ME BACK MY INNOCENT QUIET NATURE!!

“Dammit… Dammit… Dammit… Dammit…”

I am currently on my hands and knees, punching the ground repeatedly.

“What have I done to deserve this?”

No answer comes, and I’m grateful for that.

* * *

A short while and a few more traumatizing zoological encounters later, I eventually arrive at the gates of the hamlet.

Only silence greets me. No angry mob. No pitchforks. Nothing. For once, I’m a bit relieved.

I swallow the rest of my fourth apple, take another step forwards and am about to call out when an untimely pop-up startles me… again. It’s the third time since stepping into this clearing that I am startled by something. I guess I’m a bit jumpy.

*ting*

Congratulations! You are the first to discover [Kansas].

+200 Fame.

Okay, Whatevs. Now you even stopped trying with the names.

I dismiss the unoriginal window, inhale deeply and, once again, am about to call out to the villagers…

*weeeezzzsshhhrrrrrroar*

…when a huge roaring snow-white fireball, about the size of a car, suddenly materializes above the gate and swoops down on me with the momentum of a point-blank meteor.

I stare deadpan at the incoming blaze.

“…Oh. Really no pitchforks then?”

* * * * *