Tim looked Vol over again as they approached each other. Terrifying that she can seem so normal after that, and I know it's weird to be thinking about it at a time like this, but she's really fucking gorgeous too. His eyes strayed along her fluffy-looking dark hair and down to her striking gray eyes, coming to stop briefly on lips that were set in a slight smirk. He met her gaze again, and she gave him a look with one eyebrow raised before her eyes dipped downwards.

Is she checking me out? That's…both extremely flattering and more than a little scary given what I just saw. They passed each other, and he turned to watch her as she crested the hill, though she didn't look back. She's got a nice butt. He revised his earlier judgment: a nine-point-one. I bet she's amazing in bed.

He began sliding down the crystallized part of the hill and returned his gaze to the front. Not something I should be thinking about now, or probably with… Would Carl really be sleeping with all of them? Or any of them? I can't imagine it, but then, I also can't imagine him coming here just to hang out with women who aren't Annie. Or at all. I suppose I can figure that out too as long as I'm here. Always more questions. Adds to the challenge.

"You appear unworried after witnessing our battle," Ir'alith said as he walked closer. She'd returned to a form closer to her original shape now, though the armor she'd been wearing earlier was nowhere to be seen. Instead, her torso, which he could now see was completely scaled over, was broad and oddly flat, showing neither muscle nor breast. Her arms were similarly scaled, as were her long legs, and she had nothing but more scales showing everywhere else on her body, including the places where he expected to see…

Well, I suppose if she can freely change her form, it wouldn't make sense to have genitals or any kind or weak spot when she's about to be fighting. But it's…weirdly unnerving to see. "Yeah, uh, it was amazing, definitely," he said when he remembered what she'd said to him. Is she even a she?

"My form confuses you," she said when he came to a stop a couple steps away. She tilted her head slightly. "Are you not also kin to dragons as Carl is? Able to change your own form at will?"

"Well," Tim began slowly in order to stall like he usually did. Wait, wait, wait. I can understand her mistaking me for part dragon since my character's a dragonkin, but did Carl really… He always plays as a human. Usually one that looks as close to himself as possible if he has the choice. Even with the same name. "I can't change my form," he said, beginning to feel like he could start getting some answers now. "How does Carl usually look when you see him? Tall?"

She nodded, and the same, toothy smile spread across her face. "He is taller than me, though not by a great amount. He conceals himself as a human, though he is too large to be one with his size. He has brown hair on top of his head and on his face," she continued, becoming more animated as she gestured to her own face to trace the shape of the meticulously groomed beard that Carl had grown after he'd quit drinking.

"Right," Tim said, stretching out the word again and nodding while he thought. That…doesn't sound like Carl at all. Concealing something? He's about as subtle as a baseball bat to the head, even when he tries to be subtle. "That's Carl, all right. And he told you he was concealing himself? As a human?"

"He did not have to," Ir'alith said with a frown. "He used powerful magics of a type that even I could not imitate, and he battled deities and their powerful chosen alike without seeming to exert himself. No creature but a dragon could perform these feats."

"Wow, he's really been busy," Tim said, raising his eyebrows appropriately instead of gawking as he was doing inwardly. "What kind of magic did he use? Just, you know, since I want to make sure I can fill in for him."

"He used a device that he called keyboard," she said, her eyes staring off into the distance. "It was created from a material I have never seen and had many magical glyphs, all of which could be invoked with a touch of his finger."

Tim blinked. "A keyboard," he repeated.

She nodded.

"Shaped like this?" Tim gestured with both hands in the rough, rectangular dimensions of a keyboard. "And the glyphs were on little raised things, maybe with a longer one here in the middle on one side?"

Her expression brightened. "You know of it? Are you able to use keyboard as well?"

Why… How the fuck did he have a keyboard? Unless… Tim took a deep breath. He works at Fire. He probably had some kind of fucking developer console that gave him an in-game keyboard. And somehow that transferred over? Oh, fuck. That means… Well, I don't know exactly what that means because I don't know anything about that shit or what kind of access he has. But if he could change things… Things like character stats… Or… "Yeah, I know a little, but I…can't use it," he said. "Did he happen to have any unusual gear? Like, any weapons, or armor, or…"

He groaned to himself when she nodded excitedly. "He carried with him the Spear of the Primordial Sea God!" she said, growing even more excited as she spoke. "And he granted to me the Armor of the Primordial Sea God, thought to be lost ages ago, which negates all magic used against the wearer and prevents interference with any spells the wearer casts!"

I'm so fucked. He had a dev console somehow and used it to jack up his stats and make crazy gear for himself and his friends. This is going to be a hell of a challenge. When I make it out of this, you owe me a fucking explanation. And some awesome gear.

Outwardly, he continued to keep his cool. "Right, yeah, that definitely sounds like him," he said, nodding along. "And he was really casual about it too, I'll bet. Didn't make a fuss about it or anything."

She nodded, her grin becoming even wider and toothier. "Yes! It was as though no action required any effort at all. Even when he rescued me from…" Her scales and the skin on her face began changing from blue towards purple, rapidly accelerating to a pink that flickered in her irises for an instant.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Just as quickly, however, she returned to her usual blue color, which then deepened towards a darker shade. "Let us not speak of such things any longer," she said, her smile fading. "Fight with me, Drake Storm. Show me your strength." She put one foot behind herself and lowered herself into what was not so much a fighting stance as it was a preparation for stabbing her claws through him.

Tim held up his hands. "Uh, well, hold on," he said quickly. "I, uh…" She's absolutely going to kill me by accident if we fight. I can't imagine I'm anywhere near as strong as her. And that fucking god even said that Carl wasn't as strong as her, so if he's not with whatever crazy stats and gear he gave himself, there's no way I am, at least not yet. "I'm still acclimating a bit," he said when a stroke of improvisational genius struck him. "Let's take it really slow for now, okay? How about you start as if I'm just at the level of a human, and we'll go from there."

The blue-skinned demon standing across from him frowned for a moment, then nodded as an expression of understanding appeared on her face. "I understand," she said. "Traveling across so many worlds and realms so quickly has sapped your stamina. I would still see your skills, even if you must rest before you can show your true strength."

How the hell did she come to that conclusion? It… I guess it might make sense if I think about it from her perspective? And if I also knew what the hell was going on? Whatever. Let's see how bad this is before I do anything else.

He settled into a loose posture of readiness. I can't believe I'm about to get my ass kicked by Carl's otherworld girlfriend.

----------------------------------------

Okay, it's not as bad as I imagined, but it's definitely not good, even if I'm faster and stronger than I expected. Tim lay on the ground, trying his best not to gasp for breath too overtly despite being ten-out-of-ten winded. I managed to land a punch when I tried out my Bright Field spell the first time, but I think that was just because I surprised her after not even coming close for a while. At least I didn't die.

"Your skill is…not what I had anticipated," Ir'alith said, floating in a sitting position a short distance away.

"Is that good or bad?" he asked, managing not to wheeze too obviously. According to the clock in the corner of his HUD, roughly an hour had passed, and he already felt more beat up and exhausted than he did from even the worst, longest training session he'd ever had with Brad. How is this damn clock still here anyway?

"I expected that you would overcome me despite your claims, as Carl would," she said, sounding a little disappointed. "Perhaps this is the power of his keyboard."

Yeah, it's definitely the keyboard. "How does Carl fight, anyway?" He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. At least the air here is…whatever the word for that is. Feels like I've got an oxygen mask on.

"I…" Ir'alith trailed off. "I have never seen him fight," she said in amazement. "My father spoke of him defeating…a thing one time, but it was a single punch, and his opponent was unskilled and unwary."

Uh-oh. Sorry, Carl, I might've blown your cover a little. "What, uh… How do you and he know each other?" he asked to change the topic. Might finally get an answer to this. And I think my lungs are burning a little less now.

"Carl is my savior," Ir'alith said quietly in a reverential tone. "That I am here is due to his actions. He wished to be friends, and I wished…"

Tim levered himself up on his elbows slightly to look over at her. She turned pink again. An odd thought crossed his mind. Is that what it looks like when she blushes? Let's see… "You wanted to be more than friends," he tried.

The pinkness of Ir'alith's skin brightened, and she began to glow slightly. "I… I… We will not speak of such things!" she blurted, quickly turning her head away from him to conceal an eleven-out-of-ten blush that also covered the rest of her body.

Alright, so it's a blush. And she…has a crush. On Carl. My brain hurts. He flopped back down and started stretching his arms, trying to work out some of the lingering aches that resulted from being ragdolled again and again by her tail. He always did have that sort of quiet, clueless thing going for him that some girls really love. There was that…Lisa girl freshman year who used to wait for him outside our Accounting class who was like that. Damn, she was annoying.

Ir'alith seems decidedly not to be the annoying type though, unless seeming like she could literally bite my head off counts as annoying. She's got some hints of being lonely, but she doesn't seem like the lonely type like Nendra either. No, I'd guess she's the clueless type just like Carl. Which means he definitely hasn't slept with her. One question answered. Finally.

His mind wandered a bit while he continued to lay on the ground in silence for a while. Well, on the plus side, if I do make it back, at least it'll be right when I left. Which means Nendra won't flip out. That's a definite plus. Then again, she's been getting a little annoying lately. Sort of feels like the excitement's gone with how clingy she's been.

He sighed a little and jogged his mind along. And Colleen also won't have anything to flip out about if I don't suddenly disappear or become brain dead at the office. That's another plus. Wouldn't want her to have to explain that kind of thing to our son. Yeah, I can do this. Somehow. If I can't win fighting normally, I'll figure out another way.

I always win.

Tim sat up, feeling a dull throbbing in his left shoulder, which he'd landed hard on after being launched into the air following a less-than-cautious attempt at a takedown. "Why aren't you the one doing the anything-goes combat anyway?" he asked, mentally checking another question he'd had off his list. "You seem like you'd have an easy time of it."

"My role was chosen by Sateus. My debt is such that I will not question it," Ir'alith replied with her eyes closed. "I do not know the strength of our opponents, but perhaps you will fare better against yours than I would."

Hm. So… More likely I'm just in the weak bracket? This is a god of victory I'm fighting for… It's not like I'd get chosen if I wasn't able to win, right? His stomach growled at that moment. May as well see what they've got to eat here.

He pushed himself upright, the task made slightly more difficult by the odd edges of his armor, which had at least cushioned some of the blows he'd taken. "I'm going to head upstairs and see what kind of food I can find. You hungry?"

"I do not require sustenance," Ir'alith said, continuing not to open her eyes. "I will remain here to train and meditate until I must fight. If you wish to accompany me in those pursuits, I will welcome you, Drake Storm."

"Thanks, I might take you up on that," Tim said. He took a last look at the alien woman who was crushing on his best friend and then turned to head back towards the stairs.

"Be wary of the human if you think to seek her out," Ir'alith called to him after he'd taken a few steps. "I do not know her, but I sensed…" She fell silent for a moment. "I would not trust her even if she were not a human."

"I'm guessing you don't mean Vol," he joked, glancing over his shoulder at her.

Her blue tail swished back and forth in the air behind her. "I trust Vol," she said, sounding pleased. "We are friends. She is not human, however."

Tim took a long blink, came to a stop, and turned fully around. "What?"