Carl was having a strange morning.
"You really think I can jump over this?" he asked, looking up at the city wall again from the outside.
"Jumping's easy if you're strong enough," Vol said. "Hard part's getting the height just right so you don't float around in the air for-fucking-ever."
"Why's the city even have walls if everyone can just jump over them?" Still tough to adjust to the idea that the stats can get this overpowered. Beta server stuff must be way different than live. Can't imagine this getting out to all the players. I mean, one person with these kinds of stats let loose in another zone—like the sex city—would absolutely destroy everything. Or maybe there's people there who are really strong too? Guess I sort of fixated on one thing while I was there.
"Probably only a couple hundred who could actually jump over now," she said. "The new walls cut down on that. More sturdy, too." She rapped her free hand against the wall. "Good wall. You wouldn't even be able to leave a mark on it, I bet."
Carl shook his head. "Nah, I think I'm done with your bets."
"There you go being so fucking serious again," Vol said. She shifted the big bundle of assorted weapons and shields on her shoulder. "I was just trying to prove how fast you were before, no need to hold a grudge. Isn't it more convenient for you now that you know you can run across the city much faster than a car can take you?"
"I guess…" Carl replied reluctantly. He'd learned a lot over the course of the few hours they'd spent beating up monsters out in the fog zone—though it'd just been Carl beating them up, really, with Vol carrying around their loot despite his claims that he could just put it into his inventory, pointing out monsters he never seemed to be able to see until they were almost on top of him, telling him not to worry about the stats he was gaining when he asked for explanations, and giving him pointers about how to fight—but he still wasn't entirely sure how he felt about her.
She seemed whimsical and capricious, at times teasing him with jokes and banter but other times lapsing into silence save for calling out when a monster was almost upon them. Seems like she's really against the whole friend thing. Starts getting weird any time I bring it up. Well, maybe she's super famous like Ir'alith. I can get why she wouldn't wanna hang out with some noob. One day's probably more than enough for either of us.
"You gonna jump over the wall or do I have to help again?"
Carl looked up once more. "I just don't get why there's a wall here at all if you can do this."
"I'll tell you on the other side. Stop fucking about and jump already."
He looked down at the weapons-bearing, bandanna-wearing, foul-mouthed woman. "Wait, how did you get over the first time? I didn't see you jump."
"Because your fucking eyes were underground, Carl." Vol started to laugh.
"So you did jump," he reasoned, once again picking at the mystery that had been thrown in front of him in an annoying way all morning, "but you said only a small number of people could do it, which means you're one of them. Which means you probably are famous even though you keep saying you're a nobody."
Vol stared at him. "Well… Maybe I didn't jump," she said lamely after a few seconds.
"Uh-huh."
"Maybe I… Maybe I had some secret way to open up a hole in the wall, and I just walked through!" she protested, overtly not looking at him.
"Sure you do. And you're gonna do it again carrying all that stuff?"
Vol turned her head back and glared at him. "I thought we agreed no personal questions."
"I'm not asking any personal questions. Just talking to myself," Carl said. She's maybe not that bright. Nowhere near Mina's level, at least. He glanced at the time display again. Need to get back soon. Should pick up something for breakfast since she seems to like that. Maybe another little present too. Cute how happy she gets over little stuff.
"Stop with that shit and get over the wall already," she huffed.
"You first," he said with a grin. Maybe a little immature getting back at her like this, but she's been so freaking annoying this morning.
Vol frowned with her eyes, but her usual look returned swiftly. "Fine," she said with a smirk in her tone. "See you on the other side."
"Look out below!" shouted a man's voice.
Carl looked around. Vol pointed up, and he followed her finger, catching sight of a trio of shapes descending towards him. He took a few steps to the right, and when he looked again, Vol was gone. He looked up, then to the sides, but it was like she'd just disappeared. What the heck. So annoying.
The trio landed with heavy thuds, sinking some distance into the ground but all of them landing on their feet rather then their heads as Carl had done, even though it definitely hadn't been his own fault that he'd landed that way, and this whole thing was so freaking stupid!
"How odd to see anyone on the north side so early in the day," said the same man who had called out previously, wearing thick armor, carrying a sword belted to his side, and having the look of a real adventurer type.
"You lost?" called another one with a curious expression on her face where it was visible under the grating in her helmet, holding a large spear in her right hand and also wearing strong-looking armor.
"No?" said Carl, feeling like he was really getting sick of being thought of as a total noob by literally everyone he came across—even though he actually was a noob—and really just wanting a single person to think he was cool. He gestured with his thumb the way he'd run back with Vol in an incredibly short amount of time, owing to what she'd described as his ability to run "a little fast", which had prompted similar questioning about her own ability to run at such a speed and a comically poor denial in response. "Just came from killing monsters for a few hours over there in the fog zone. About to jump back into the city now," he said casually.
The trio looked among themselves for a moment before chuckling. "Of course you did," said the one in the lead with the sword in a disbelieving tone. "Just strolled into the challenge of Sateus barefoot and without a weapon or any armor and spent time with the rift spawns for a few hours." He started laughing harder and was accompanied by snickers of increasing volume from the others.
Carl frowned. Thought people in this city were cool since it wasn't all role-playing, but they're just annoying in a different way. They're all real gamers.
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"Carl, stop fucking about and jump already," called Vol. "This is all really fucking heavy, and you should be grateful you don't have to carry it with your little Strength stat."
He looked over towards the wall, and his companion-for-the-day was standing against it with all the weapons and stuff piled up on one shoulder in a massive jumble that didn't look at all like it should've been able to hold together without falling off but somehow wasn't budging even when she leaned to one side and set her other hand on her hip in a clearly-annoyed pose.
"Hey, stop bothering him," she called. "We need to get back and sell all this shit, and I'm not gonna wait around for you to start asking about his fucking stats. Carl, fucking jump already. Fuck…" she trailed off with a loudly whispered expletive.
Carl almost burst out laughing when he looked back and took in the reactions of the three adventurers who'd been subjected to Vol, which ranged from slight to extreme surprise with accompanying levels of mouth-hanging-open-ness. "Yeah, gotta sell off all my loots," he said in the tone of someone who was overly burdened by his own awesomeness. "You guys have fun out there, okay?" He turned back to the wall, finding that Vol was predictably gone once more, and jumped as high as he could.
Alright, maybe that was a mistake. Carl's head was in the clouds a moment later—figuratively speaking, of course, since the skies were completely clear, though had there been clouds his head would definitely have been inside one—as he'd wildly overshot his aim of simply jumping over the walls. He recalled at this moment the comment Vol had made on this exact topic earlier, having the sudden feeling that while sure, she might be annoying at times, she was also really helpful and had been absolutely right about everything so far, and he had a great appreciation for her inability to tolerate delays and anything that seemed to slow them down in any way, though it wasn't specifically just because it'd been put to use for his benefit a short while earlier, and oh yeah he was falling now.
Unlike last time, Carl fell with far more grace on this occasion, not shouting or yelling at all. He was Acting Like He'd Been There, as he called it, which was an important skill for him to have as both a father and a director-level at a large company but was actually a more general-purpose version of the Dad Meant To Do That skill from the Dad class. It was for this reason that he didn't even try to block with his arms this time as he crashed down head first onto the pavement and plunged into the ground, after which he started pushing himself out and dusting his face off because this was just a normal thing that he did now when he played games, and it was actually weirder that nobody else was doing it.
"Carl," Vol sighed, shaking her head. "Why do you have to make such a spectacle every time we go somewhere? How fucking hard is it to jump over a wall normally?"
"That's just how I jump over walls," Carl said, setting off in a random direction while he patted his head and shoulders to dislodge the chunks of asphalt and having the realization that landing in this manner actually had the benefit of not overly ruining his clothes since he was basically only grazing the ground with his shoulders instead of on his feet, which would normally be wearing shoes or something, but obviously he wasn't wearing any freaking shoes, so the whole thing was stupid, and the game was garbage. "Let's go sell all that stuff."
----------------------------------------
"Why'd they only drop weapons and shields, anyway?" Carl asked.
"Mm?"
"Those monsters back in the fog zone. They didn't drop armor or anything."
"What, you think I know everything? That's just how it is."
Vol turned a corner, and he followed. "There, a place to get tea and pastries," she said, gesturing to an ostentatiously decorated bakery-ish shop with one of her now-freed hands. "Not where I imagined you'd wanna go next. Coffee and tea?"
"Nah, it's not for me."
"Oh, your mysterious driver." Vol followed Carl as he set out for the shop across the street and wove between a line of stopped cars which were waiting for something or other that he didn't care about. "She must be really fucking special for you to stay so tight-lipped. Normally I'd guess she was your lover—"
Carl tensed in annoyance.
"—but no, I'm thinking maybe she's your daughter," she continued. "Not asking a question since we're not doing that, obviously, but I don't imagine a man like you who seems to not give a fuck about very much would be as protective for any other reason."
He pulled open the door, not bothering to hold it as he entered.
"Hello!" called a man standing behind a glass display case filled with all different types of pastries, and biscuits, and other stuff Carl didn't know the names of. An older woman was working with some dough off to the side, and there was a middle-aged woman retrieving a sheet from a large oven with padded gloves at the opposite end.
"Give me one of everything," Carl said, gesturing brusquely to the case. "And three cups of tea, each with a splash of milk and lots of sugar. I'll buy the cups and saucers too. Also some trays to hold everything."
The man stared, the woman at the oven looked over, and the old woman kept working her dough.
"I'll just get one of those," Vol said, absently pointing to a plain, biscuit-y thing at the bottom of the case. "How much?" she asked as she approached the case. She placed her hand down on the metal top of the display case in front of the man before he could reply, and it was accompanied by the sound of metal on metal, revealing a pair of hundred-mark coins when she stepped back.
Carl frowned. She's like, weirdly perceptive about some things but then also kinda dumb about other stuff. Obviously someone famous—hence the bandanna—but then comically bad at hiding it, almost like she wants to be found out. He shook his head a little. Whatever, not like I really care. Glad this is a one day thing with how annoying she can be.
"Inventory." He moved forward to the counter, where the man was working to fill a decorated tray with all manner of baked goods that probably had lots of fancy names that he wasn't going to be bothered thinking about or learning. The first filled tray came up over the top of the case, and he carefully inserted it into his inventory.
"Your Scorpion Biscuit, Miss," the man behind the counter said, holding out the plain biscuit Vol had asked for.
Vol grimaced as she grabbed it out of his hand. "My what biscuit?"
The man puffed up a little. "Those used to be the favorite of the—"
"Urghhhhh," Vol groaned loudly, cutting him off. "Can't you fucking name it after someone else? How long's it been now? Name 'em Hero Biscuits or something, why don't you. Hasn't that Char hero been doing a lot for the city? Building walls, repairing roads, making the tracks for racing…" She put the biscuit under her bandanna and took a crunchy bite.
The man opened his mouth, a scowl forming on his face, but Vol continued to Vol over him. "I get it," she continued with her mouth full, "but how long's it been? Almost a fucking decade? Stop living in the past."
"You—"
"Verecundus, be respectful of the customer," scolded the old woman. She looked up from her dough with a small smile. "Sorry, Miss, but it's my shop, and the name stays."
Vol sighed in obvious annoyance and leaned against the wall while she finished crunching her way through her Scorpion Biscuit.
The man returned to his tray-filling task after another moment.
Carl gave his companion-for-the-day a look while he loaded the trays into his inventory.
"What?" she asked after she'd finished her snack.
"Bit of a rant," he said. She sure likes to exaggerate. And it looks like she's really bought into this whole thing about there being an actual person managing city repairs and construction. Roger's unexpectedly talented at this sort of thing. Should give him some feedback next time we have coffee.
"People spend too much time in the past and future, not enough in the present," Vol complained.
"Tea," called the middle-aged woman as she carried over a pair of steaming mugs with spoons sticking out.
Carl accepted them and set them into the page in his inventory he was starting to regard as Mina's Presents.
"Useful skill," Vol remarked.
"Er, yeah, it's a skill," Carl lied, not really wanting to flaunt the unlimited inventory size his dev account provided since he didn't know what normal inventory sizes were. He took the third cup of tea from the woman and put it in his inventory with the others. So smart getting extras like this. Now she can have afternoon tea or whenever. I bet she'll love it. He imagined the blonde girl's face dimpling adorably as she grinned, and the thought made him smile. Kinda reminds me of the girls when I say it's taco night.
"That's everything," the man announced.
"Hope to see you again soon," the old woman called as a farewell.
"Thanks," Carl said. Cool that they've got professions like baking added into the game. Lots of people like to bake. Annie makes great cookies. "Dismiss."