Carl awoke.

Annie was nestled under his left arm, likely from rolling about in her sleep. They were both restless sleepers on occasion, so it wasn't a particularly unusual occurrence.

Carl decided to have a somewhat lazy morning. He was feeling a bit muddled, and it didn't seem like there was any particular…

No, there was definitely something he was supposed to be doing. He opened one eye.

Annie smiled at him, her head resting on his shoulder.

No, wait…

Carl struggled. Years of coffee dependence had slowly eroded his capacity for high-level thought in the mornings, and some days were worse than others. This seemed to be roughly a seven on the scale of one to NEED COFFEE, which wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, all things considered.

It was, in fact, sufficiently low for him to realize at this moment that it was not Annie laying atop him but a sex doll, and he was still logged into New Era.

He grimaced sleepily at the doll. "No cuddling," he grumbled. "Pretty sure I said that yesterday."

"This isn't cuddling, master," the doll half-whispered, her voice the same, seductive, good mood voice that Annie used when she was thinking of having a morning quickie.

Carl frowned.

"This is snuggling, master," the doll said, her arms squeezing around his chest. A tail caressed the side of his face.

Carl continued to frown. "Why're you naked?"

"Um… I couldn't sleep with clothes on?"

"You're a doll. You don't sleep. Do you?"

"Well, no… Unless you mean sleep as in—"

"Nope. Gah, why are you so freaking good at this?"

"Cuz I love you, master!"

"Yeah, not happening." Carl yawned. "I gotta…" There was something he had to do when he woke up. He was certain of it. He had to… Ideally he'd be activating one of his thinking skills, but it seemed they were all on cooldown. And before that… "Get up. I gotta pee."

Game was too damn realistic in all the annoying ways.

The doll gave him another too-enjoyable squeeze along with a contented sound before rolling off the side of the chair and landing gracefully on her feet.

Carl rubbed at his eyes and kicked the footrest down, then made for the bathroom.

The doll followed, and there was an attempt to help that was gruffly declined.

A couple minutes later he emerged, grumbling about how terrible everything was, as was the case any morning he was unable to acquire coffee or, at a minimum, the sure knowledge that he would have coffee in a timely manner.

Then he remembered what he meant to do when he woke up.

"Logout. Logout." Carl looked around his office, the overhead lights still way too bright for him to even deal with. He put his glasses on, missing them on his first attempt due to the Sleep Disorientation status ailment that seemed to be persisting.

The time was currently two minutes past twelve, which was important for a reason he couldn't immediately recall. He'd keep it in mind, sure in the knowledge that future-Carl would appreciate it. For now, however, he placed his glasses on his desk and logged back in to get coffee like he'd done the previous day, having instantly adapted to his most recent morning routine.

There was a small barrier to that, however.

"Masterrr," the doll whined as soon as he reentered the game world. "Why won't you have sex with me?" She pouted. "Am I not attractive enough? Do…"

Carl blinked a few times, his need for coffee moving dangerously close to an eight on the scale as this thing that he couldn't even deal with right now talked to him about stuff that he didn't care about and couldn't be bothered to consider.

It was awful.

Carl couldn't believe such a terrible game existed that would subject him to this level of poor gameplay experience. If he'd been making it, sure, you'd be able to sleep in the game, but you'd also wake up every time with a mug of hot coffee floating next to you no matter the circumstances.

The way things were supposed to be.

He'd have to have a talk with someone about that. Maybe there was an Auto-Coffee setting somewhere that he didn't know about in one of the debug consoles.

The annoying doll was still talking about something or other, but Carl didn't care. He'd figure that out later. Right now, he needed coffee.

"Later," he said, conveying that he'd deal with whatever was going on after he got his coffee. He would have been even more curt, but it was difficult.

She looked too much like Annie, after all.

"Guard," he reiterated to the doll, which was now doing some sort of celebration dance or whatever that he also didn't care about.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

He needed to get to his coffee, then he needed to think about all the stuff he'd be more capable of thinking about when he had that coffee.

Carl opened the door of the workshop and headed towards coffee.

----------------------------------------

"Coffeeeee."

"Hope you brought—"

Carl slapped the contents of his pockets onto the counter.

"Got marks today, at least. Sit. I'm brewing."

Carl groaned.

Life was the worst.

Everything was awful.

His need for coffee had long since surpassed a nine, and he was…

He thumped down onto the nearest stool.

Thinking was too hard right now.

He just had to wait.

"You again."

Carl stared across…

Nope.

He grunted in reply.

There was time for talking, and there was time for coffee.

Some people just didn't—

The person across from him grunted back.

Carl grunted in acknowledgment.

There was an answering grunt.

He'd been mistaken.

This person fully understood.

The words spoken had been accusation, not greeting.

Whoever this person was, they knew.

Life before coffee was miserable.

They shared a time in silent commiseration.

"Here."

A steaming mug was set in front of Carl.

He lifted it to his mouth, then thunked it back on the table.

Carl sighed, and the world swiftly began being less awful. Now, let's see…

He looked around. Naturally he'd gone to the same small coffee shop that he'd located the day before, his coffee instincts informing him that this was the best coffee around even if he had to walk a ways to get here. Thankfully, pre-coffee time mostly blended together into one, easily-forgettable moment of awfulness.

"How'd you manage that?"

Carl stopped his musing of pre-coffee things. He had ample time for that. The other person sitting at the table was sipping her coffee, alternately blowing on it as she frowned, likely from being delayed from drinking by its heat. "Practice," he said. And burning your mouth a lot in the process.

The woman grunted, taking another sip. She looked to be perhaps in her mid-twenties, though it was somewhat difficult to tell. Her black hair was short and hung down around her head in a more-or-less orderly fashion, with the front and left side mussed as though she'd just gotten out of bed. Her clothes were ordinary-ish for what he'd seen thus far in the city—a regular t-shirt with light, cloth pants—but she wore a white bandanna over the lower half of her bronzed face, pushed up slightly to allow her mug to reach her mouth.

"Like what you see?" she asked. Her eyebrows raised, and she blew softly on her coffee.

Carl started. Oops, I guess I was staring a bit. "Uh, well, it's just the whole bandanna thing," he said, throwing out the first feature that came to mind. "Haven't seen many of those around."

"Ah," she said, taking a longer drink from her coffee, which required her to tip her head back. "You know what it means?"

"Uh, no?"

"Mm." She swirled her coffee a little, and it was then that Carl realized and appreciated that she hadn't felt the need to taint it with condiments. "Means I'm looking for a lover," she said, leaning forward. "What do you think? Interested?"

The question was so blunt and spontaneous that it took him a moment to even realize he needed to reply. "Uh," he tried first as he worked to even figure out how the heck he was gonna… He held his hands up defensively. "Well, no, I'm—"

The woman started to laugh, having to set her mug on the table while she rocked on her stool. "Oh wow," she said after a minute. "Sorry, I know it's early for jokes, but you just looked so fucking serious! And then you're actually considering it, like that's something someone would just ask randomly!" She started to laugh again, squeezing her eyes shut and placing a hand over her face.

Carl took a moment to gather himself. I guess it was pretty insane to even think about replying to that like it's a normal thing. He chuckled a little. Yeah, I mean, who's gonna be asking some random stranger that in a game. Almost crazier that I'd even be considering it like a real question.

"Whew, thanks," the woman said, wiping her eye. She scooped up her coffee again and took a drink. "Great way to start today."

Carl smiled. Yeah, not too bad. I should lighten up a bit while I'm in here. I've still got lots of time… Alright, gonna have to think about that later, but I do have a lot of time. There's gotta be a bunch of ideas waiting to be thought of, so there's maybe not as much point trying to force it like I have been. "You always start your days like this?"

The woman snorted. "Nah, first time. Trying to decide what to do."

"Can't help you much there. I just got here a couple days ago. Still finding my way around the city. At least it's got a reasonable layout. Nice and grid-based. Easy to learn."

The woman grunted. "Yeah, true. Definitely seen some worse cities." She drank from her mug again and then set it down on the table, the sound indicating it was empty.

"Yup." Carl sighed. That Charus City really sucked. I guess even SF is worse than this one in some ways with how out of control homelessness has gotten in the recession. This place is really freaking clean.

"Hey, can I get another coffee?" she called over to the shopkeeper.

"Yeah."

"What're you doing here in Onyxfell?" the woman asked, her tone one of mild curiosity.

"Eh, trying to get some thinking done, mostly," Carl said. Could go for another cup myself. I gotta figure out a better way to get money if I'm not gonna be breaking the policy on that anymore. "Some racing on the side too, I guess." Gonna take forever to get all the parts Mina's gonna need at this rate.

"Ooh, what do you think of the racing and the tracks?" she asked, leaning forward and perching her head on her right hand.

"It's pretty cool," Carl said. "I like the idea. Really feels like they're taking the whole game thing to the next level with it."

The woman nodded along. "It does, doesn't it? I…" She sat back on her stool.

The shopkeeper arrived with a plate of eggs and bacon in one hand and a kettle in the other. He set the plate roughly in front of the woman, then started refilling her mug.

"Refill?" she asked, giving Carl a questioning look.

"Uh—"

"One for him too," she said. Her hand came up holding some denomination of coin.

The shopkeeper grunted and filled Carl's mug, then took the coin on his way back to the kitchen.

"Thanks," Carl said, raising his mug.

"To coffee in the morning," the woman said, raising her own for a moment before taking a sip.

"Coffee in the morning." Carl took a drink. Hm, this isn't bad, but it's not great. If this is the best coffee in this city, I might be in trouble. Nice of her to buy me a cup though. People are even nicer to noobs here than they were in the other city.