"Huh," said Volcatia.

She spectated as Ir'alith wept on the shoulder of a shorter, greener version of herself with a much longer tail.

"A beautiful victory," Sateus murmured as he spectated alongside her, having moved his chair closer at some point when she wasn't paying attention.

"Who's she?" Volcatia asked.

She asked quietly though.

She didn't want to interrupt her friend.

"That is Ira'unne, the kindest of all demons," Sateus said in his annoying mind-voice. "Ir'alith's mother, thought dead for nearly a century."

"Are you reading their thoughts right now?"

"The thoughts of mortals are always open to a deity, let alone a—"

"Fucking stop. It's weird."

"I'll stop if you give up one of the fruits I gifted you."

"Urgh, why do you even give them to me if you're always gonna take them back like this?"

"How else can I know whether you truly desire something, my scorpion?"

"And stop calling me that."

"Forsake the fruits for the rest of your life, and I will call you whatever you wish."

"Fuck, you're so annoying. And what the fuck, you said you couldn't bring the dead back when I asked."

"I said I wouldn't, my cute little scorpion. Ira'unne wasn't dead. She was…concealed."

"Concealed how?"

"Two fruits."

"Urgh, fine, not that interested."

"We have our warrior, and she is powerful indeed. I look forward to seeing her might once she's freed from her burden."

"I was gonna ask about that. Isn't she a little uh, weak to be fighting in a competition?"

"My scorpion, I have let you live in your tank long enough to fill it, but now it's time to place you in a larger container once more so I can see how you grow."

"Do you always have to be so fucking annoying?"

"There are two now, but we'll need three more. I had planned to use her outworlder as my magic warrior for that part of the competition, but I can't interfere if he's in this state."

"You mean Carl?"

"Is that his name? I can't read his thoughts."

"What? You always brag about being able to read anyone's thoughts!"

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"Five fruits."

"Fuck, so annoying."

"Carl, yes. I need a champion who blends magic use with combat expertise, and he seemed to have an aptitude for both when I observed him. If not him, then…"

"What're the other two?"

"Combat of the mind, and—"

"You mean—"

"Competing in games of skill and cleverness. The things you find most annoying."

"Fuck, I'm glad I can't do all the competitions again."

"As I expected. The final competition remains unchanged."

"Oh, so fucking's still in. Can I just switch and do that? It was sort of fun last time."

"My scorpion, the other deities enjoyed watching the champions in every competition, but when you spent an entire month worshiping the legs of Cilena's champion, boredom was—"

"Who?"

"Cilena? Goddess of pleasure?"

"No, I meant who was the champion? I don't remember that."

"I erased your memory of her."

"What? What the fuck? Why?"

"Because you became obsessed and refused to leave her side, claiming that her legs had become your legs. You then attacked Cilena when she attempted to rescue her champion once your victory was announced."

"Uh… Her legs were that good? How good were they? Give me back that memory so I can see."

"No."

"Please? Just a little?"

"No. Perhaps fortune will favor you enough that you'll see her again at this competition. Her memory was erased as well, so there's plenty of opportunity for you to make a spectacle of yourself again."

"You know if she'll be there though."

"I do."

"Will she?"

"Four fruits."

"What?! Just to

"Remain quiet, or you'll disrupt them."

"You know I hate it when you do the voice-stealing thing."

"I do. I chose a champion for combat of the mind, but she's no longer suitable. This leaves—"

"It was Mina, wasn't it?"

"Isemeine Charus, yes."

"She's—Hey, did you do your fate thing so I'd meet all the champions you wanted?"

"Six fruits."

"Wha—I don't even have that many now!"

"I can take them from your memories."

"No! Stop taking my memories!"

"Without Isemeine, my second choice was Aquila Intrepida."

"Ooh, that's a good choice. She's Smart."

"That leaves us short a member for—"

"Can't I just switch? I don't wanna do magic."

"Ten fruits."

"What? No."

"What I meant to say was that if you interrupt me again, it will cost you ten fruits and then another ten for each successive interruption."

"Oh."

"You will not switch. There is no replacement for my warrior, and there is no replacement I trust to fight on my behalf as a magician."

"Isn't it a mage? Not a magician?"

"It's whatever I want it to be, my little scorpion. Now then, I had no champion come to mind to compete in fucking. The combination of endurance and skill required was something that suited you uniquely out of all my mortals."

"Weird thing to be complimented on? Sort of."

"If you have suggestions, I'm listening."

"What, you mean… Uh… Yeah, can't really think of anyone? Why don't you ask Ir'alith?"

"She and her kin would be deeply offended by the idea of it, and I wouldn't want to offend my newest champion."

"Oh. I didn't know."

"Worry not, my scorpion. You've only just become friends. You have an eternity to deepen that bond."

"Yeah. Yeah!"

"Since you can't think of a worthy contender, maybe I'll borrow someone. That returns us to a replacement for Carl."

"Mm. Actually… Actually! I think I might have an idea for that…"