"Are you able to create coins for the local currency?" Mina asked abruptly.
Carl frowned. They'd only driven a short distance into the city, but it wasn't at all what he'd expected. Unlike Charus City, Onyxfell seemed modern in some ways, though it was oddly primitive in others. The roads were all paved with lines down the center, and the mostly reddish, stone buildings had a sleeker and more eye-pleasing look about them, but the people were still dressed in plain, roughly-made clothes which didn't have decorations or frills. Fragments of metal and stone littered the streets in a couple places, and in one spot he'd even seen a tiny robot repairing a broken part of road. The streets had fewer wagons and carts set up as shops, true, but the storefronts he'd seen were nearly identical, with the same lettering used for the banner text, the same black color of text in use, and even the same design, as though they'd been…
I hate to blame you for everything, Greg, but this is pretty lazy design work. At least throw a little variation in if you're gonna pre-make a city like this. Even weirdo BDSM city with nothing but bricks managed to have some distinct signage. Or maybe people there just care more about—
"Carl?"
Carl started, his attention having been most recently captured by a woman in shorts and a snug-fitting crop top surfing on top of a car's hood as it drove away from them and then around a corner. "Sorry. Uh…" He scratched his beard, driving slowly enough in the city that he no longer needed to provide an arm-belt for his passenger. Coins, huh. I really gotta stop breaking company policy. I went a bit crazy with it the other day, but those were totally different circumstances. I can log out whenever I want now, so I don't really have an excuse. Yeah, definitely no more of that. He cleared his throat. "Maybe," he said. He fired off a Dad's Serious Now at the adorable girl in the passenger seat to let her know he meant business now and would definitely not be persuaded otherwise unless she really, really wanted it, in which case he might reconsider, but probably not—although maybe, if it was important enough. "But I'm not really supposed to do stuff like that, so we'll have to find some quests or something if we need money now."
Mina nodded, seeming to be expecting the answer already. "Our first course of action should be to locate a bank, then." She held up a small leather bag. "I've some coin remaining which should be sufficient to acquire lodgings and meals if I'm able to change it into something usable. Once accomplished, we can attempt to locate this Pertinax fellow at his smithy."
Carl nodded back. "Sounds good. You really like to eat, huh?"
Mina gave him a pensive look. "Do you not?"
"I guess I do," he allowed, navigating through an intersection which, thankfully, had normal street signs with no odd ornaments atop the signposts which could potentially be used as a relative direction system which was not only inefficient but also stupid, and anyone who thought otherwise was also probably stupid, and that was just a fact. "I, uh…" Another car zoomed out of a cross street and cut him off, turning to continue zooming on ahead of them. Gonna need to put a horn on this thing, too. "I had some great burgers last night. Not trying to brag or anything, but my wife makes the best burgers ever."
"I'd like to try a burger sometime," Mina said absently, her head moving quickly as she scanned the surroundings, likely looking for something resembling a bank. "This is the first you've spoken of your wife that I recall," she continued. "Is she… Is she like you?"
"Hm." Carl checked the shop signs as they passed for one that looked like it might be a bank, but it seemed like they were now passing through some residential area with surprisingly well-made apartment-y-looking buildings. This reminds me of when I'd drive into the city to meet Tim or Max at whatever hipster restaurant they picked out, and I'd have to be going super slow to avoid missing it because I had to actually drive back then. "Not really? Annie's…" He glared at a car that blew past him on the left, clearly in violation of the city's sensible double yellow lines on its roads and also driving very unsafely. "She's a lot more social than I am. Always likes talking to people and going out. She's—"
"Come watch me, Titus Caepasius Caecus, in the arena tomorrow afternoon!" bellowed a bulky young man with massive arms on a street corner to the right, easily holding up a block of stone over his head which was engraved with his name followed by the word "Victory". "I will fight Cluilia Aurelia from D-three, and I will bring victory to D-five with my twenty seven points in Oxter!"
A few cheers went up from people nearby along with shouts of "D-five victorious" from a couple especially passionate bystanders.
People here are really into gladiating. And those bugged stats. Carl shook his head and continued driving again, having been forced to stop when a steam-powered bus had driven across then stopped in the middle of the street just in front of him to discharge and accept passengers. This city is just better in every way than the last one. Even has public transportation! Shoot, what was I saying… "Uh, anyway, Annie's pretty easy-going. You'd like her." Not that she's likely to ever be here. Can't even imagine it, really. The idea of his wife—who didn't exactly hate games but certainly felt that she had better ways to spend her time—playing a game like this brought a smile to his face. Wonder what she'd even do. Can't imagine it.
"Do… Do you think I might meet her someday?" Mina asked quietly.
"Nah, probably not," Carl said. I wonder if that's…
"Oh."
Whoa, that's a big blip on my Dad Sense. He looked over and saw that the girl looked vaguely sad now. "I mean, not like she wouldn't wanna meet you, Mina," he said carefully. "I think she'd really like you." That's an understatement. Annie loves helping kids; she'd probably never let Mina out of her sight again. Huh, I wonder if I could set something up so they could mail each other. She'd probably be a great resource for Mina, even just as someone to talk to. I'll ask her when I get out if she'd be up to that. Better write a note when I get a chance. "This is just…not really her thing, if you know what I mean."
"I believe I do," Mina said, her expression remaining unchanged.
Oops, I messed that up somehow. Carl steered over to the curb on the right side of the street and brought the car to a stop. "I think this is a bank?" he said while pointing to the storefront to the right, which had a pair of armored women standing on either side of the entrance and a wooden sign with coins painted on it next to the word "Banking" overhead.
"Yes, it seems so," Mina said. She chewed her lip for a moment, then looked up at him. "I'll manage this. You…" Her eyes dropped. "You'll not depart without me, will you, Carl?"
Carl shook his head. "Of course n—Oof."
Mina threw her arms around him in a tight hug, pressing her head against his chest.
Carl patted her back. She's been acting a bit weird today. Guess maybe she's still adjusting to being off on her own after… Ugh. He squeezed back a little. Yeah, I can see how she could use a hug.
Mina pulled back. "Um…" She adjusted her hair, pulling it behind her head and twisting it slightly to keep it under control. "I've the hope this will not take long," she said, now smiling a little. "See you soon!" She slid out the side of the car onto the asphalt walkway at the edge of the street, then walked between the two guards and into the bank.
If she's not out of there in like, two or three minutes, I'm going in to check on her. Carl's eyes fixed to the entryway of the bank, his expression slowly turning to a scowl as he watched the time display in his HUD. No chance I'm gonna let anything happen to her on my watch again. His eyes bored holes in the double wooden doors.
The time display ticked over a minute. Maybe… He shifted in his seat, inhaling the hot, dry city air. That might even be too much time. A lot could happen in two minutes, let alone three. I was only gone a few minutes back in that stupid coffeehouse, and…
One of the doors opened, and Mina walked out with a pleased smile on her face.
Carl felt a sudden tension drain out of him, the same sort that he'd felt when Sammy had returned home from her first time hanging out with her new basketball friends he hadn't yet met in order to discreetly verify they weren't planning to kidnap her.
"All settled," Mina said as she sat back into the car. "And—"
A blue status window appeared.
Autochthonosity increases to 1.
Carl stared. What the heck even are these words.
"What's that?" Mina asked, staring at the window.
"Stupid system keeps giving out random words as stats," Carl grumbled. "Dismiss."
The status window disappeared.
"I see," said Mina. She held up her leather bag, which seemed to be much less full. "Well, I've managed the conversion, and I've also obtained instructions for reaching Pertinax Protectives." Then she gave him that same expectant look.
Carl rolled his eyes but was unable to prevent a grin from forming. "Great job, Mina," he said.
Her expectant look turned insistent, so he mussed her hair, finally revealing a happy smile on her face.
Way too cute. Not as cute as Bobby or Sammy, obviously, but really, really close. "Alright, which way, Miss Navigator?"
"We'll continue straight on here," she said, beaming up at him as she pointed, "then we'll turn left, then a right on the second…"
----------------------------------------
"So this is it," Carl said, looking at the plain, black-lettered sign which read 'Pertinax Protectives'.
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Mina came around to stand next to him. "It's quite a lot larger than I'd expected," she remarked.
Pertinax Protectives wasn't just a smithy, it was more like an armor factory. Metal girders held aloft large slabs of stone to block the suns, and underneath the giant, covered area was a stretch of land that might have been half a football field in length and width, filled with dozens of sweaty people milling about, hammering on various objects, holding armor pieces over fires, measuring body parts of other people, or, in one case, a horse using lengths of rope, and generally working with vigor. A giant plume of fire and smoke shot into the sky through a hole in the roof as some manner of forge or whatever was vented on the far side, accompanied by distant cursing. All in all, the noise was substantial.
"Better put this away so nobody steals it," Carl muttered. He opened his inventory, not even bothering to disguise it since he didn't need to role-play anymore, and deposited his car into the same page that held his recliners. Oh right, I still gotta dry this guy out somewhere. Maybe… Oh, how awesome would it be if we got a place here that had a roof, and I could sit in one of those chairs on the roof, looking over the city while I think about this stupid thing for Gab? That'd be the best thinking spot, I bet.
"Fascinating how such a large object can be made to fit into there," Mina said.
"Yeah, isn't it?" Carl said, nodding along. "Alright, let's find this Dec guy."
"I shall follow your lead."
Carl set off at a slow pace, making sure he kept one eye on his surroundings and one on Mina. Don't want her to get hit by something and maybe die again since she's gotta be pretty low level. No clue where the graveyards here are, and that'd be really scary I bet. Stupid realism.
They walked forward a short ways before they were intercepted by a swarthy woman of intermediate height with close-cropped hair and glistening, bulging arm muscles. "Welcome. Can I help you?" she said, sizing them up and holding a pad of paper and pencil, both of which seemed to be ubiquitous in the city.
"Yeah," Carl said, eyeing a thick-necked, pug-looking dog that was waddling over, "we're looking for…" he trailed off when he felt Mina grab his hand with both of hers, trembling as she stood behind him. She not like pugs or something?
The muscly woman looked down at the dog. "Hey." She snapped her fingers. "Gunny, get back in there," she ordered, pointing over to an old man who was sitting on a stool with a small hammer, occasionally tapping away at what could possibly have been some sort of bracer—or just scrap metal since Carl wasn't an expert. "No bothering customers."
The dog took a look up at Carl, then turned around and slowly waddled away.
"We're looking for Dec," Carl said, relaxing a bit when Mina seemed to be returning to her normal self.
"Dec?" The woman gave him a confused look.
"Yeah, this guy at the gates, uh…" Shoot, those names were just way too long, and I wasn't paying that much attention since I figured this would be a smaller shop.
"Quintis Spurius Marcellinus at the gate," Mina supplied to his relief. "He's suggested we seek out Decius Minucius Pertinax in this place regarding the potential purchase or lease of a property."
The woman shrugged. "Don't know Marcellinus, but Decius Minucius is…" She craned her head back to look deeper into the smithy. "I'll see if he's got time. Wait here." She set off towards the biggest forge-y thing, gradually closing on an older man who was slamming down a massive hammer that was at least as big as himself on some sort of heated metal.
Gonna have to pay way more attention to names, I guess. What a pain. "Thanks, that would've taken forever if you weren't here," he said, looking down at his side with a grateful expression.
Mina was taking in the sights of the workshop, her gaze returning every so often to the fat little dog which was sitting with its head down next to the old man with the small hammer. "Names are quite important in the Stadal Empire," she said while looking around. "Citizens take pride in their full names, and so it's vital to make use of a full name whenever one wishes to be respectful."
Carl grimaced. "I really gotta remember three names for everyone I meet?" This is getting a little role-play-ish. I guess if it's just a little I can handle it…
"To convey the most respect, yes," Mina said, stopping her surveying to look up at him. "For slightly less formal address, the last name alone can be used without offense. For a casual acquaintance, the first two names are used. Only for those with a closer relationship would the first name alone be used."
"That's pretty complicated," Carl said, his grimace not fading. I can already tell I'm gonna mess this up.
"It's simpler for women," Mina said. "Only men have three names, while women have two. In that case, the last or full name is used outside of a closer relationship."
"You really know your stuff," Carl said. "You've really never been out of that city?"
"No, not once," she said, shaking her head. "Ah, but there is one more detail about the names here which I've found quite amusing," she added with a small smile. "Women of the Empire retain their names and do not acquire their husbands' surnames when they marry—a strictly unofficial business without ceremony, naturally—which, of course, raised my curiosity as to why the men here all possessed a third name at all."
Carl considered it. That's… Huh, I guess that's maybe something you'd do if you marry and both of you play. Never really thought about it.
"It seems," Mina said slowly, watching the workshop once more, "that the reason why the women from the Stadal Empire all possess two names while the men have three is that they lack something which would require a third name. The reason for the third name is, in fact, possessing a penis."
"What?" Carl exclaimed, coughing as he started to laugh while attempting to breathe. "Are you serious?"
"Incredibly."
Carl continued to cough for a short while until he recovered enough to laugh normally. "That's too good." Now that's some real Shared Worldbuilding Experience. The more he thought about it, the harder he laughed. "Wait, so which name—"
"There's no specific name which refers to it," Mina said, smiling with amusement. "It seems that merely having one confers the need for a third name."
Oh man, I wish I had any friends who played so I could tell them about this. Can't stop laughing. Carl leaned against a nearby metal beam as he laughed harder than he'd laughed in a while. "And everyone here—"
"Yes, this is the established practice," Mina said with an air of authority.
"I'm Decius Minucius Pertinax," came a raspy voice that grew closer as it spoke, calling out a three-name that made Carl struggle mightily not to laugh even harder now that he knew the origin of the naming scheme. "Quintis Spurius sent you, did he? Haven't seen that boy in some time. How do you know him?"
The thirty-something man that walked over was broad-chested and even broader-shouldered, seeming almost like two men stuck together and made entirely of muscle. He was not as tall as Carl, perhaps only around six feet, and he wore a thick leather apron to cover his chest with long gloves on his hands.
"We met him at the five gate," Mina said, having been wordlessly appointed the Knower Of How To Talk To People Here. "My f—Carl met his challenge in arm wrestling, and he bade us find victory at the racing tracks by speaking with you about acquiring a workshop in which to make improvements to a steamcar."
Decius Minucius Pertinax grunted, his eyes sweeping over Carl. "Not every day we get outsiders seeking victory on the tracks. Got yourself a car already?"
Carl nodded, preparing t—
"You look sturdy enough," Decius Minucius Pertinax said, sounding reluctant. "Might be able to survive a lap or two, even."
Survive? Carl's expression turned puzzled. "I'm not gonna be racing, though."
Decius Minucius Pertinax looked completely baffled as his gaze slowly swung to Mina, who set her jaw determinedly in response. He looked back to Carl. "As a father myself, Carl, I don't mean to tell you how to raise your daughter, but she's not strong enough for even the lower track."
"What?" Mina exclaimed, glaring up at the big man. "My steamcar is quite durable, I'll have you know."
Decius Minucius Pertinax looked back to Carl.
Carl shrugged. "It is. Fast, too."
Decius Minucius Pertinax ran a hand over his sweaty, bald head and looked back to Mina. "Have you seen a race yet?"
"Well, I suppose I've not," she said, "but—"
"Visit the lower track," Decius Minucius Pertinax interrupted, pointing up the street adjacent to the smithy. "Three streets up, then turn right onto Conquest Street, and you'll reach it along there." He looked between the two of them. "I'll be here a few more hours. Come see me again if you still think you can find victory at the tracks after witnessing one of our races." With those words spoken, he turned and strode back towards a rack where a still-glowing chest armor piece was hanging, picked it up in his gloved hands, and started carrying it across the shop, shouting at those who got in his way.
Carl frowned. Not much of a help. I guess if we're gonna be here for a while we'll need some kinda base, but what's all this "as a father" business? It's just racing, right?
Mina let out a disgruntled sigh, then took a deep breath and released it. "Very well. Carl, shall we do as he's suggested, or shall we search for another place that might be more accommodating?"
Carl began to rub his beard. "Well, it's not like we've really got any leads on other places, right?"
Mina grimaced. "I suppose…"
"And it would be kinda cool to see what one of these races is like," Carl continued, nodding as he began to consider that maybe seeing some sort of sporting event would be the perfect way to jog his brain into coming up with an idea that he hadn't yet considered for how to resolve this freaking network issue that really shouldn't be such a big deal but was a really big deal since it was the first thing he'd had to do for his new boss, and probably it was gonna set the whole dynamic of h—
"Ugh, very well," Mina said in a petulant tone, turning on her heel and stomping back towards the street.
Carl followed after her, an amused smile forming on his lips. Alright, I was thinking she was half Sammy and half Bobby, but today she's going full Sammy. Hm. She played really well last night. Definitely deserved that Rocky Road after. The thought brought a bigger smile to his face.
"What a rude man," Mina huffed, her hands on her waist as she stared down the road they'd been directed towards. "Speaking to me like that, as if—"
"Let's wait to be upset until we see what the races are like," Carl said. "No need to keep acting all princess-y anymore. We're in a more normal place now."
Mina's hands clamped over her mouth, and she looked back at him with a worried expression.
She must've just gotten too used to it. Yeah, it can be really hard to break habits. I remember quitting drinking was pretty tough with the constant sweating and shaking at first. Just had to constantly keep reminding myself how much future-Carl would appreciate it. And how much he'd like having a wife like Annie. And not to give up after that one time… Yeah, past-Carl was a pretty cool guy. "Don't worry so much," he said, giving her shoulder a soothing squeeze. "We're here to have fun, right?"
Mina seemed to be considering the question seriously. "You're correct," she said after a short while, her expression relaxing.
Instinctively, Carl knew that this was the perfect moment. It'd been too long since he'd last been able to fulfill a certain desire—a need—and his urges were boiling over. The fact that this young, too-serious blonde girl was standing next to him made him unable to resist. He wasn't feeling particularly inspired at the moment, but he'd always enjoyed the classics when it came to this sort of thing.
His expression shifted as he feigned a deep sadness and looked down at the ground. "No, I'm Carl. I can't believe you forgot my name already…"
Mina stared at him for a moment, then tipped her head back and let out a disgusted sigh, unable to stop herself from laughing due to the sheer perfection with which he'd executed his dad joke.
Of course he'd executed it perfectly.
He was Carl Weathers.
Dad jokes were the only jokes he told.