"—ter would do," Carl said.

Volcatia thought about it.

Then she laughed.

He was so right!

In fact, he reminded her a little of…

Fuck, what was that idiot's name…

Caone's champion…

Champion of that god of harvest…

Eh, the name wasn't important, but the similarity in a certain sense was perfect.

"You're so right," she said between laughs, nearly forgetting to turn onto whatever the fuck street they were passing. "Not trying to cause offense, but I can't imagine what you'd be doing without me."

He'd probably just sit around in his workshop forever.

Being boring.

Side character was a great description.

In all the old stories and legends, the heroes of worth always had their companions whose role it was to distract or delay the villain until such time that the real fight could begin. Companions who had their own boring, tedious lives until they had the chance to join up and become part of a legend.

Carl was definitely boring enough when he wasn't being impossibly interesting, but her time of being a legend was over.

She was just a normal human.

"Wouldn't have figured out that whole thing with my stats for a long time probably," Carl said while he rubbed his beard.

The motion looked funnier now that he had his sunglasses on.

"Wouldn't have landed on your fucking head so many times either though," Volcatia managed to finish before she started laughing again.

How was it even possible?!

Was his head full of some type of metal?

"Yeah, I guess not," he said with a chuckle.

They walked along a narrow street between a series of boring buildings.

Why did all the buildings here look the fucking same?

The ones in Onyxfell were at least different colors.

So boring.

"Wouldn't have had such a weird, great time last night," he said.

She grinned. "Yeah, that was really fun."

Maybe that was the reason why all the old stories had side characters.

Without Carl, the previous night would have just been her getting drunk and throwing a building on someone's villa.

Fuck, she might not have gone at all!

Without Carl, she wouldn't have decided to conquer Salonina either!

She eyed her larger friend. He grinned down at her, and she grinned back.

So this was the power of friendship.

They continued on for a while, walking here and there as she vaguely recalled the city's idiotic layout. The place seemed to be thrumming with some sort of tension, so she increased the intensity of her presence.

She might try to be human, but that didn't mean she was going to be constantly stepping out of the way like one.

"Another thing," Carl said as another one of the stupid equus-pulled carriages abruptly changed course to avoid them. "And no offense on this, but is it just me or is Onyxfell really boring?"

Volcatia frowned. "Mm?"

Boring?

Her city?

Was it?

"I mean, it was cool when I got there," Carl said, again rubbing his beard. "Was nice being somewhere a little more modern-feeling, and the whole gladiator-y battle-y theme of the city was a cool idea. Different. But then… I don't know, it just feels like it's missing something? Like, everyone's just talking about victory this, and victory that, and it kinda makes it all feel pretty same-y."

Same-y?

That was maybe a good word.

And…

He sort of had a point?

Everyone in the city more or less had the same interests, excepting the few idiots who just wanted to worship that one crazy goddess—even if she did have truly divine legs.

There were the younger people, who wanted to be gladiators or were gladiators.

There were the older people, who had probably been gladiators or warriors and now had professions to keep the city and the arena going.

They no longer rallied for war against anyone.

They had lost their Wrath starting a few years after they got the System.

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

Maybe even in exchange.

"Put another way, I don't think I even know the name of a single person in Onyxfell," Carl continued. "Thought I was gonna end up meeting all these different people—like that blacksmith guy across the street who I haven't seen in however many days now, almost like he just disappeared—but none of 'em were super memorable. Except maybe that lady Aquila from last night, but that was probably only because she—"

"Go back. You met Aquila?"

"Yeah, she, uh, kinda slammed me through a table when I tried to arm wrestle her?"

Volcatia exploded into sudden laughter. "You really did meet her! Carl, you should feel honored!"

She could imagine the scene perfectly.

Carl, sitting in a chair, probably certain that she was just a random woman, challenging Mellitus instead.

Aquila, smirking, enjoying the chance to teach him one of her lessons.

Yeah, there was really only one way it could have happened if it involved Carl.

"Should I?"

"Carl, you arm wrestled an imperatrix. How many people can say that?"

"She's an imperatrix?"

"Who the fuck else could keep track of all the shit happening in a city that big?"

"Huh. Well, I feel better about it now, at least. Ten million Strength isn't gonna lose to just anyone."

"Urgh, Carl, are you still not past that?"

"Anyway, like I was saying, I've been in Onyxfell for…seven freaking days already? And I don't think I've met anyone that memorable. Well, except for Aquila. And Rex, I guess."

"Who the fuck's Rex?"

"Just some guy I've met fishing a couple times."

"Fishing. Right."

"But meanwhile, I was in Charus City for… Well, not even half a day, but there were already a ton of memorable people. Like that guy there," Carl said, pointing, "the one with his gladius out chasing the guard guy, he's Percevale. Total freaking monster. Guy's got acting chops like you wouldn't believe."

"Acting chops?"

"Yeah, he's an amazing actor. Looks like he's doing some kinda rebellion scenario now? Oh, and that old lady on the cart there! I think… Yup, that's Rosa. She's… Well, last time I saw her she was blind, but I guess she's part of the scene."

"So… He's pretending to kill those guards? And she's burning that leash while pretending to yell blasphemy about the goddess of light?"

"Well, I mean, they're just gonna come back a while after they die, right? And it's just a leash. And that whole goddess thing is just a guild, isn't it?"

Volcatia looked up at Carl, but he was watching with the eye of someone vaguely amused by something he didn't really care about.

She recognized the look.

It was the same one she wore most of the time.

Fucking Carl.

She didn't know why he was thinking like this, but she didn't feel like trying to explain it all.

Too tedious.

It wasn't like she had any fucking idea what was going on either.

"End the lies!" bellowed the man Carl had said was named Percevale as he thrust his gladius through the neck of another soldier.

"Open your eyes!" shouted everyone else nearby.

"Let's go this way. I don't wanna get in the middle of whatever this is," Carl said, pointing to another small street just ahead.

"Yeah, okay."

"See what I mean though? We've been here for like, ten minutes, and we're already seeing cool stuff like that. Not just people doing weird stuff trying to farm up stats, but people who have real character, you know? I bet if I went back there, I could go up to Percevale, and he'd immediately set me up with a cool part in whatever play he's doing. But in Onyxfell, the only thing I got was some old ladies asking me to stack pots or try to sew some clothes. So boring. As weird as some parts of Charus City are, there's something about it that really makes you feel like people live here."

"Mm." Volcatia thought about it.

Was Onyxfell really more boring?

There were plenty of interesting…

Eh.

There were a couple interesting people.

And people did mostly waste time trying to farm—she really liked that way of using the word—stats.

Nobody else even knew how anything worked, so what was even the point of trying?

It was just random luck.

But people here just wasted time fucking instead of farming stats.

That was all they did.

Yeah, maybe they were mostly really good at it, but it wasn't as though there were more people with great legs here than anywhere else.

What was the point of being good at fucking if your legs weren't good enough to match your skill?

Another question for someone smarter than her.

She hadn't seen a single person here with good legs so far, now that she thought about it. In fact, people here mostly covered their legs because it wasn't as warm, which meant that she had to rely solely on her Leg Sense.

She was getting distracted again.

Was Onyxfell more boring than Charus City?

Eh.

"They're both boring," she decided. "All cities are boring after enough time in them."

"Really?" Carl made a Carl face. "You don't think it's at all boring how all the roads in Onyxfell are paved normally while there's all these cool cobblestones here to give it a more steampunk-y feel?"

"What the fuck is steampunk?"

"Like, uh, how there's steam engines but not anything more advanced?"

This was clearly another Carl thing, and she didn't care that much.

Steampunk.

Nah, not a great word.

"All the buildings are same-y here though," she countered. "Look at this shit." She reached out and chopped a brick out of the building she was walking next to using her hand. "Every fucking building is just made out of these."

"Yeah, but that's because people stopped innovating here. They all got caught up in…" Carl stopped walking, and his face whitened. "Oh no."

"What?" Volcatia looked around, expecting some enemy to—

"I learned some lore," he groaned, putting a hand over his face. "Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"

She started to laugh yet again.

Fucking Carl.

"I thought I was just a little bit of a noob," he said in a stunned tone, beginning to shuffle forward once more with faltering steps, "but… I think maybe I'm actually just a total noob now."

"What's a noob?" Volcatia asked after she'd stopped laughing.

"Ugh," Carl groaned again. "Maybe it's too late. Maybe I really am too old to play games ever again."

She didn't know what he meant, but he seemed depressed.

Carl was her only friend.

She couldn't let him get depressed.

He might become like Mina.

The thought made her grimace. "It's okay, Carl," she said quickly.

She had to fix this before it worsened.

"You're not too old to do anything. Remember Aquila? She's… I think she's at least eighty years old now."

Carl stopped again, his eyes focusing on her for the first time since he'd started talking about noobs. "Really?"

"Really." She nodded for emphasis.

He let out a breath. Then he started to nod. "Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay, if someone that old can do it, so can I," he muttered to himself.

Volcatia breathed a sigh of relief when he started walking normally again.

That had been a near-disaster.

It was hard enough fixing an annoying girl when she'd been depressed.

She couldn't imagine how hard it would be to fix Carl.

Especially given his unique inability to be watched.

And he seemed to know about her ability somehow?

Weird.

"Thanks, Vol," he said.

"Don't worry about it."