Carl had been driving for a long time. He glanced at the time display in the corner of his HUD once more since he'd been keeping much closer track of time on this outing in which he was not playing a game; he was spending time in a different setting in order to gain a new perspective on a problem he was unable to solve under normal conditions. Not just a long time, a really long time. It's been like, six hours? Almost seven, even. How the heck has the logout timer not logged me out yet? And how have I still not come up with anything for this stupid network report?
The car sped along through the rocky, desert-y zone on the road he'd finally encountered a couple hours earlier. Mina murmured cutely in her sleep, and he glanced down again to make sure her neckerchief was properly covering her face. No idea if sunburn is a thing in this game, but with how stupidly realistic some stuff is I wouldn't bet against it, and she's really pale.
The thought brought back the memory of the first time Sammy had gotten a sunburn when they'd gone to one of the outdoor pools in town. Still can't believe she tried to eat the aloe vera paste after. Probably shouldn't have told her it was magic get-better juice. He chuckled softly, but the noise caused Mina to stir again, clutching at his shirt as she whimpered through another nightmare.
Poor kid. Carl rubbed his thumb along her shoulder, the best he could do while still holding her to prevent her from sliding out the side of the car. Really gotta get some seatbelts and doors on this thing as soon as we get to race town. Windshield, too, though I've more or less gotten the perfect driving squint down at this point.
Another of the incredibly annoying, screeching, lizard-vulture things screeched and lizard-vultured down at them from the front—an amazingly bold decision considering how fast the car was moving—and half-splatted on the car's already disgusting hood along with the remains of so many of the things that seemed to absolutely love throwing themselves at the car that had to be going at least a few hundred miles an hour. Carl reached forward, hampered by the girl sleeping on his side, and swatted the bird's head, sending its carcass flying off to the side. At least they're light. Should see if we can rig up some windshield wipers to take care of this kinda stuff. What the heck, Rog—Greg—why are the bugs so freaking big in this game?
A signpost came into view in the distance and then was behind them. He'd slowed down for the first one, but now he recognized the symbols and didn't feel the need. Onyxfell. Danger. Same as the rest. What's so dangerous? Maybe… Oh, I bet there's people playing as bandits or something! Carl marveled at the new idea he'd just had. That would be so cool! You'd get to have your whole spiel, like, "Gimme yer coin or yer lives!" and set up tolls and stuff. I almost wanna see some now just to see what they do. Can't imagine anyone's gonna be able to stop us in Mina's car, though. This thing is so freaking awesome. Really wish I could use it for my commute. I could get to and from the office in like, a minute tops. Assuming I didn't have to turn, obviously. Or wait in traffic. Or obey speed limits. Okay, maybe it wouldn't be that cool.
The road rounded another bend along the cliff he was driving on, and he swerved safely to avoid shooting off the edge, just like he always did because he'd always been pretty good at racing games. Really gotta give it to Roger and his team, this game is amazing once you get out and away from the weirdos. Nice, sunny day—long days, too, so I can enjoy it even more—and this huge road with practically nobody on it feels great to drive on. Even get to see some cool critters when I spot 'em far enough out that I can get a good look before they're gone.
The car descended off the long, cliffside section of road and onto a flatter straightaway. The road's construction material had changed a number of times, likely to indicate the zone change, and was now…
Carl frowned. Is this asphalt? What the heck. Definitely asphalt. I guess… His frown deepened for a moment before he grinned. Can't be too upset. Driving on road this smooth at this speed is so nice it should be… Well, I guess it's illegal in real life.
He spotted another dot in the distance on the road and prepared himself, turning the wheel slightly to the left in order to avoid ramming into the wagon that he'd already left far behind. Really got the hang of this now. Driving at ludicrous speeds is a way more nuanced thing than I thought. The tiniest motion and the car practically flips over.
Mina finally settled down, her forehead drenched in sweat as the neckerchief came free, and he slowed the car enough that he could safely pull it back into place, smiling a little when her brow loosened and she smiled in her sleep.
She's really out. Can't believe she's slept this whole time. Is that a thing? Like, if I sleep in the game, do I not have to sleep in real life? Wait, no, the game would log you out after four hours. But she's been sleeping for like, seven hours now… Carl's frown returned as he again checked the time in his HUD. Gotta be some kinda time compression thing. I don't remember seeing anything like that when I was looking at all the game's time stuff though. Not that I'm here to play a game, of course. The second I figure out what I'm going to do about this network stuff—or when the auto-logout activates—I'm out, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, because I'm responsible now. I'm way better than I used to be when I was sitting around the apartment and barely making minimum wage annually, just coasting because I didn't have any goals.
He nodded to himself. Got tons of goals now. Gotta help the girls get into whatever colleges or universities they want, see what kinda fields they go into and make sure they get great jobs, make sure they find good people to fall in love with… His hand tightened on the wheel as his eyes flicked down to Mina.
A lightning bolt struck just off the side of the road ahead, drawing his attention. Fog billowed out, and then he was past it. What the heck was that?
After another couple minutes, the phenomenon repeated itself, and a giant, dinosaur-y, T-rex thing appeared, blasting out an incredibly loud roar.
Carl winced, and Mina whimpered and clutched at his shirt again. The T-rex thing—actually, maybe it was a T-rex, which was pretty cool—stamped over onto the road, blocking it completely and roaring again at the rapidly-slowing car. Gah, so annoying. Just let me get to the freaking city already. Gotta be close. He carefully disentangled himself from Mina, who shuddered and continued making fearful noises for a short while until his max-level Hair Stroking Lullaby technique took effect and she settled back into a peaceful sleep on the bench seat.
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Then he cracked his knuckles—or tried to, since it seemed they weren't quite ready to be cracked at that moment—and moved towards the front of the car to meet the T-rex's charge. It wasn't the first monster he'd had to stop the car to "fight" when it blocked the road, but it was definitely the largest, at over double his height, and it'd had the most flashy entrance after spawning out of mist from a lightning bolt. After taking the first couple monsters he encountered way too seriously, however, he'd come to a certain realization.
Freaking newbie zone is way bigger than I expected. Carl launched a casual punch at the T-rex's… Was it a snout? Muzzle? Maybe…
Carl launched a casual punch at the T-rex once its jaws clamped down harmlessly on his outstretched left arm, and its head exploded, thankfully splattering away from him just as the other monsters had the courtesy to do. Great design. Greg, you nailed it here, man. Get this great visceral feeling, maybe a little scary since it's a big T-rex, and then you don't even really have to clean yourself off after. Way better than that… What'd Ir'alith call it again? Oh, right, spike-fang. No, no, gotta be fang-spike, because obviously you're gonna alphabetize the attributes. Wonder how she's doing, anyway? Saw that offline notification a while ago. Probably sleeping. Not everyone can like sleeping in…
Well, I guess Mina probably moved somewhere to get away from everyone over the weekend, and sleeping alone in a new place might be scary for someone who's been through what she has.
He finished shaking the remaining T-rex teeth out of his sleeve, throwing a couple into his inventory in case he needed them for something. Or maybe I'll send some to Bobby as a souvenir? Nah, she's gotta be way past all this noob stuff by now.
Suddenly, a pair of blue status windows appeared.
System Initializing…
Predaceousness increases to 2.
Carl frowned. What? "Dismiss all." The windows faded, and he shrugged while walking back to the car. Whatever. Maybe it's another bug. Alright, Mina, time to get back into your spot.
With minimal prompting, the blonde girl snuggled adorably back into his side, letting out a small sigh of contentment.
She's way too freaking cute. How could anyone ever be mean to her? Carl adjusted the neckerchief's position, then placed his hand on her shoulder as a makeshift seatbelt and resumed the drive.
After a couple minutes, another blue status window popped up.
Concomitance increases to 1.
"Dismiss."
Another blue status window appeared shortly after.
Concomitance increases to 2.
"Dismiss." Carl accelerated, having the distinct feeling that—
Precipitate increases to 1.
—this freaking… "Dismiss." Game was about to get really annoying—
Rebarbative increases to 1.
Oh, c'mon, that doesn't even sound like it's a freaking noun!
Mendacity increases to 1.
Wait a minute… Carl dodged the car around another wagon and at last caught sight of a silver, shining wall of steel in the distance that had to be the walls of the city. "Dismiss all." Alright, managed to go a couple minutes without any more popups, so maybe it's over. I don't remember those stats being in the DB schema. Gotta be some kinda bug. Maybe related to the expansion?
The walls continued to grow larger as he approached, and his need to weave around an increasing number of pedestrians, carriages, wagons, wagony-carriage type things, and even other cars forced him to slow down considerably. The amount of noise rose considerably as well, until at last he was close enough to realize that there were actually five separate gates in the wall which was way taller than he'd originally thought, and people were thronging to get inside, though they seemed to mostly be trying to get in the left-most gate with a giant "1" over it, while the right-most gate with a "5" was nearly deserted.
He gently shook Mina's shoulder while he steered towards the less crowded gate. "Hey, Mina, we're here," he said.
Mina grumbled, pressing her face into his side.
Carl rolled his eyes. Great, she's a Sammy. He tugged at the neckerchief covering her face.
"Nooo," Mina whined, grabbing at the accessory.
"We're at Onyxfell," Carl said, keeping one eye on the guard standing by the gate.
Mina yawned, then looked up at him with squinting eyes. "We are?"
"Pretty sure."
The guard at the gate held up a hand in the universal gesture for stopping, and Carl brought the car to a stop, coming to another realization. Ugh, am I gonna have to role-play again? Nah, I'm done with that. Not playing a game, so no role-playing. C'mon, please don't let it be another role-playing city.