What happens next is best described as black magic.
The old hag keeps laughing like a maniac and raises both hands towards the sky. Black tentacles made of light — or rather, the opposite of light — feel the ground around her.
When they touch the bodies of the Twelve Champions — if that's who they were — they start draining their life.
There is no doubt about it. They look like they'd age hundreds of years every second until nothing but dust remains. At the same time, the old hag stops being old.
Her hair regains its shine, turning golden blonde. Her wrinkles disappear, and she even becomes taller. The sexy evil princess I missed so far is right there in the flesh now.
The only issue is that she's still hellbent on destroying me.
"Ah, I have to thank you." Her voice changes too. She seems full of youthful energy.
"Can you imagine how difficult it was to keep myself in that old, frail body?" Here we go with the monologuing again. But it works for me.
Even though I'm in control now and could answer her, I refrain. I won't interrupt her if she's generous enough to give me time for a plan.
"With no suitable candidates to drain their life forces away. Not without angering a stuffed-up noble in Sanctuary."
Yeah. I appreciate the info dump, but it would be much better if I knew, what she's talking about. Since I have no clue I shut her voice off to fire up my other chat partner instead.
"You always played at my hand. First by shutting down the gates."
Whatever. System, I hope you have come up with something useful by now. I'm also open to retreat but can't use the teleport alone.
[Notice: Lady Ghisella doubled her power by sucking away the life forces of her enemies. She was already more powerful than you, so the chances of beating her are near zero.]
I know as much. That's why I wanted you to teleport us away.
"Then you bought me enough time to prepare a powerful Seal." She's still at it, whatever she talks about.
[You don't have access to teleportation spells.]
Oh come on, you already used it, don't be splitting hairs now.
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"But to think you'd even help me seal the Demon Lord away! Hahaha."
[The Auto Battle function can use any techniques and spells the Goddess of Luck ever learned.]
Yeah, I know what cheating means. Why won't you give me access too? You told me you'd help by interpreting my will and turning them into useful spells. Interpret teleporting the hell out of here.
"Applying the Seal to that dungeon beyond the Gates of Hell was easy, thanks to you."
[Notice: Teleportation is an existing spell that nobody but the Goddess of Luck can use. I can't interpret it as a vague spell and give you the finalized result. You're still a low-level character.]
Are you for real? Okay, screw that. Useless as always. But I have another hostage I could use. Let's hope that the once-old-hag can still monologue for a bit.
"Okay, Berta, you said you trained for ten years, show me what you've got." I squeeze her breasts again, and she yelps, firing off another powerful spell.
It interrupts the First Bride but it's still too little to deal with her.
"How insolent." She scoffs, dusting her grey clothes off after another huge blast. Is she invulnerable?
"Sorry, it was Berta." I shift the blame to the Orc girl, and it's not even a lie. She was the one casting the spell, I've no idea how to do it because this asshole System won't tell me.
"It's Omerta!" She screams, but with another squeeze, she fires yet another spell.
It starts to feel like I'm that mouse from the cartoon that taught a chef how to cook. But rather than pulling the witch's hair, every boob-squeeze equals a powerful blast.
Fun for the whole family.
[Notice: Considering the emergency, if you can think of an original spell, I'll allow you to cast it.]
Well gee, you make it sound like that's something easy to do. I have no idea how magic works in the first place. How am I supposed to come up with something new?
"You will pay for your sins." Now it's the First Bride's turn to cast a spell on us.
At least this Omerta girl is smart enough to cast a barrier in front of it, without me abusing her tits any further.
[Notice: You don't have to know the basics of magic. It is a collection of rules, that wizards learn for years before casting their first spell.]
"Argh." She yells, looks like she couldn't block the whole thing.
[I offer you the chance to create an original formula that copies nature. Or something otherwise unique, and I'll fill in the gaps.]
"Muhahaha. None of you stand a chance against me now." The First Bride won't let up for a second. To make it worse, the rest of the battle is already over.
The surviving wyverns scattered, but she still had a few gargoyles to threaten our flanks. It doesn't bother the System in the slightest.
[For example, you could harness the sun's power.]
[You can imagine as mirrors collect and focus their powerful beams. Then I recreate the effect using your mana, and you can fire it off as a spell.]
By using the sun and mirrors? That's lame.
If I wanted to make a laser, I'd do it right. The other week I saw a video on YouCube about the latest spec military-grade lasers they put on their ships. Now that's something.
"Um, Goddess? I can't keep up with her any longer." Omerta's pleading is nothing but a distant whisper. My head is in the clouds, thinking about my favorite subject.
Tech videos. When the choice came up to pick between engineering and IT, it was a tough one. I went with IT because of the chance to work from home.
But engineering always fascinated me. Especially high-tech stuff they posted on YouCube. Like that short about the latest lasers. The military used them to take out drones cheap and fast, but it's so powerful, it can melt or set fire to boats too.
They use infrared diodes and powerful lenses hooked up to huge capacitor banks. Their system could release dozens of kilowatts at once.
[Notice: I can do that too.]